Gravity Falls with Hope
by SamanthaMatoiStein
Summary: This is my second story, but for Gravity Falls, and my fan character, Hope the Wolf Dragon. I will update the story on Sundays. If I notice any mistakes in the story, I will fix it. I don't own Gravity Falls or any of its characters, but I own Hope, as I made her in Photoshop. This is a non profitable fan fiction.
1. Chapter 1: Tourist Trapped

We see the sun and a boy starts to narrate, "Ah, summer break." We then see a man grilling burgers while two kids are running around beside him. Others sit at a picnic table. The man asks his wife, "So you want cheese on that, hon?" She replies, "Sure, Hank." The boy continues, "A time for leisure, recreation, and taking 'er easy." We stop at a "Welcome to Gravity Falls" sign. "Unless you're me." Two children and a mysterious 8 foot tall creature crash through the 'Welcome to Gravity Falls" sign with the Mystery Cart, screaming. They are being chased by an unknown monster, which is knocking down trees. The girl yells out while looking back, "It's getting closer!" The creature on top of the cart yells back, "I can see that!", and blows fire at the monster. The monster tries to catch the cart, but just falls short. The cart flies off a rock and lands roughly. The boy keeps narrating, "My name is Dipper. The girl about to puke is my sister Mabel. The strange creature on top of the cart is Hope, the Wolf Dragon. You may be wondering what we're doing in a golf cart, fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror." The twins and Hope watch as the monster throws a tree in their path. Mabel shouts, "Look out!" Time seems to freeze with Hope, Mabel and Dipper screaming. "Rest assured, there's a perfectly logical explanation. Let's rewind." Flashback to Dipper and Mabel in their living room at home. "It all began when our parents decided we could use some fresh air." Their parents take their stuff away, give them bags and put some sunscreen on their noses. We see a map of Oregon, closing in on Gravity Falls. "They shipped us up north to a sleepy town called Gravity Falls, Oregon, to stay at our great-uncle's place in the woods."

We see Hope say to the kids, "I think you're gonna like it here." Dipper narrates, "Hope was a creature who stood at 8 feet tall. She had the body, head, left eye, right front leg, back left leg, and the tail of a wolf, and the right eye, left front leg, back right leg, wings, tail, forked tongue, and horns of a dragon. Her fur was black, her scales and wolf eye were red, her horns were purple, her tongue was blue, and her dragon eye was yellow. Her wings were like those of a bat with scales, and she had scales running down her back. She can stand on her hind legs and use her front paw and claws like human hands. Lastly, her dragon tail has four pincers than can move like fingers and grab things." Mabel hangs up posters and then says, "This attic is amazing. Check out all my splinters!" She holds up her hands, which have gigantic splinters sticking out of them, which Hope pulls out. Dipper backs up into his bed, which Gompers is on; and says, not narrating, "And there's a goat on my bed." Hope says, "That's Gompers. I found her when she was little, and she's lived here ever since." Mabel walks up to Gompers and greets her, "Hey, friend." She holds out her arm, and Gompers chews on her sleeve. "Oh! Yes, you can keep chewing on my sweater." She then laughs. Dipper continues to narrate, "My sister tended to look on the bright side of things." Mabel rolls down a hill of grass as she shouts, "Yay! Grass!" A woodpecker pecks on Dipper's hat. "But I was having a hard time getting used to our new surroundings. A man jumps out at him wearing a mask and yells, "Boo!" Dipper shouts, "Ah!," and falls over. The man takes his mask off and laughs loudly and slaps his knee. "And then there was our Great Uncle Stan. That guy." Stan coughs several times and hits his chest, "It was worth it." Stan is now leading tourists through the Mystery Shack. "Our uncle had transformed his house into a tourist trap he called 'The Mystery Shack.' The real mystery was why anyone came." The Jackalope's antler breaks off. Stan says to the tourists, "Ladies and gentlemen, behold! The Sascrotch!" They turn to a Sasquatch wearing underwear. Tourists start speaking excitedly, and snap pictures. Dipper is sweeping the wooden floor with a broom while Mabel is looking at stuff and Hope is putting prices on objects. "And guess who had to work there." Dipper then sighs. Mabel looks at a large eyeball and exclaims, "Ooh!," as she reaches for large eyeball. Stan slaps her hand with his 8-ball cane and shouts, "No touching the merchandise!" A large man is driving the Mystery Cart to the Mystery Shack. "It looked like it was gonna be the same, boring routine all summer. Until one fateful day..."

Mabel is now peeking through Stan-bobbleheads. She says, with an excited look on her face, "He's looking at it! He's looking at it!" A boy is looking at Mabel's note. The boy reads the note, "Uh...Do you like me? Yes? Definitely? Absolutely!" He looks around. Mabel quietly yells, "I rigged it!" Dipper says while spraying a jar with water and wiping it, "Mabel, I know you're going through your whole "Boy Crazy" phase, but I think you're kind of overdoing it with the "crazy" part." Mabel yells at her brother, "What?" She blows a raspberry. "Come on, Dipper! This is our first summer away from home! It's my big chance to have an epic summer romance!" Dipper says back to his sister, as Hope enters the room, "Yeah, but do you need to flirt with every guy you meet?" Hope includes herself in the conversation, "Yeah, I mean, first there was the guy checking out the postcards." Flashback to Mabel with a boy near a greeting cards display. Mabel talks to the boy, "My name is Mabel, but you can call me "The girl of your dreams." I'm joking!" She shoves him into the display and laughs. Hope's voice is heard, "Then there was that guy with the turtle." Flashback to a boy holding a turtle on a bench. Mabel jumps up behind him, "Oh my gosh, you like turtles? I like turtles too! What is happening here?" Hope's voice come up again, "And then there was the Mattress King." Flashback to the inside of a mattress store. The Mattress King advertises, "Come one, come all, to the Mattress Prince's kingdom of savings!" Mabel, hiding behind a set of colorful balloons; pops out head and whispers, "Take me with you..." The Mattress King screams as he cowers away from Mabel and drops scepter.

Mabel says, in the present, "Mock all you want, brother and friend, but I got a good feeling about this summer. I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now." Stan walks through the door and burps, but it gets caught in his throat, "Oh! Oh, not good. Ow." Mabel regrets her choice of words, "Aww! Why!" Hope and Dipper laugh. Stan, being serious, "All right, all right, look alive, people. I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest." Dipper, Mabel, and Hope all say, "Not it!," quickly in succession, with each raising a hand, or paw for Hope. Behind them a large man is drilling screws into a wall to prop a shelf, but then raising his hand like the others and says, "Uh, also not it." Stan looks at the man bored, "Nobody asked you, Soos." Soos, smiling says, "I know, and I'm comfortable with that." He takes a bite out of a chocolate bar. Stan, looking towards the entrance to the shack, "Wendy, I need you to put up this sign!" Wendy, the cashier, pretends to reach for signs while reading a magazine, "I would, but I, ugh, can't, ugh, reach it, ugh..." Stan, looking somewhat angry, "I'd fire all of you if I could. All right, let's make it... eenie, meenie, miney...you." He ends pointing at Dipper. Dipper, wide eyed, "Aw, what? Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods, I feel like I'm being watched." Stan, clearly annoyed, "Ugh, this again." Dipper, looking freaked out, "I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town. Just today, my mosquito bites spelled out "BEWARE."" Stan squints at Dipper's arm, "That says "BEWARB."" Dipper scratches his arm. "Look, kid. The whole "monsters in the forest" thing is just local legend, drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that." A fat, sweaty man laughs while looking at a Stan-bobblehead's head bobble. "So quit being so paranoid!" Stan gives Dipper the signs. Dipper sighs.

Now in a foggy forest with trees getting blown by the wind, Dipper mutters to himself, "Ugh, Grunkle Stan. Nobody ever believes anything I say." He puts one sign up on a tree that says "To The Mystery Shack." He starts to hammer a nail on another tree trunk, but it makes a metallic sound. He taps the tree with the hammer, which makes more metallic sounds. He wipes away some dust and opens a secret window revealing a mechanical box with two control switches on top. He tests one control but nothing happens. Then he tries the other. Behind him, a hole opens up in the ground. Gompers bleats and runs away. "What the?," Dipper asks himself confused. He looks inside the hole, and there is a book. He picks the book up and places it on the ground, and checks for people watching. He flips one page and an eye-glass is in it. He looks at the eye-glass and puts it down. He flips another page, and begins reading aloud, "It's hard to believe it's been six years since I began studying the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon." He then flips through pages. "What is all this?" He stops at a page that says "TRUST NO ONE" and starts reading, "Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before he finds it. Remember: in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust." Closes Journal "No one you can trust…" Mabel, jumping up from behind a log, "HALLO!" Dipper screams. Hope shows up and asks Mabel, "Was that really necessary?" Mabel answers, "No, but it's funny." She then asks her brother, "What'cha readin', some nerd thing?" Dipper, hiding journal behind back, "Uh, uh, it's nothing!" Mabel, imitating Dipper, "Uh, uh, it's nothing!" She laughs, "What? Are you actually not gonna show us?" Gompers nibbles the edge of the journal. Dipper glancing at Gompers, "Uhhh...Let's go somewhere private."

In the Mystery Shack. Dipper, Hope and Mabel are in the living room. Hope asks, "Remind me, how is the Mystery Shack more private than the secluded woods?" Dipper ignores the question and explains the book to the girls, "It's amazing! Grunkle Stan said I was being paranoid, but according to this book, Gravity Falls has this secret dark side." He shows Mabel a page. Hope widens her eyes as Mabel yells out, "Whoa! Shut. Up!" She playfully pushes Dipper. Dipper continues, "And get this! After a certain point, the pages just...stop, like the guy who was writing it... mysteriously disappeared." Hope gets back into the conversation, sadly, "That's because he did." Dipper asks, "How do you know that?" Hope replies, "I've lived here for almost 300 years, Dipper. I know everyone in this town. The man who wrote the journal was dedicated to finding out about the strange and weird. And that's all I'm telling you" Dipper was about to beg Hope to tell him who wrote the journal, but then the doorbell rings. "Who's that?" Mabel has a smile on her face, "Well, time to spill the beans." She knocks over an empty can of beans on the table. "Boop. Beans. This girl's got a date! Woot woot!" She falls backward into the chair, giggling. Dipper looks at his sister confused, "Let me get this straight: in the half hour I was gone, you already found a boyfriend?" Mabel, still cheerful, "What can I say? I guess I'm just IRRESISTIBLE!" The doorbell rings twice. "Oh. Coming!" She runs out. Dipper looks at hope with a look that said, "Did you know anything about this?" Hope looks back at Dipper and shakes her head to say, "Not a clue." Dipper sits down in chair and begins to read the Journal. Stan walks in and sees Dipper reading and asks, "What'cha reading there, slick?" Dipper exclaims, "Oh!" He throws the book under the seat cushion and grabs a magazine. "I was just catching up on, uh…" Sees the cover of the magazine. "Gold Chains For Old Men Magazine?" Stan looks at the magazine and says, "That's a good issue." Mabel, standing next to a teenager facing the other direction in a black hoodie, "Hey, family! Say hello to my new boyfriend!" The teenager turns around to show his pale face, with something red on it, "'Sup?" Dipper says, "Hey…" while Stan says, "How's it hanging?" And Hope responds with, "Hello." Mabel, looking at the teenager, "We met at the cemetery. He's really deep." She feels his arm. "Oh. Little muscle there. That's...what a surprise…" Dipper asks the teen, "So, what's your name?" The teen yells, "Uh. Normal...MAN!" Mabel answers for him, "He means Norman." Hope asks, "Are you bleeding, Norman?" Norman looks at the red liquid dripping down his face and responds, "It's jam." Mabel gasps and playfully pushes Norman, "I love jam! Look. At. This!" Norman, looking at Mabel, "So, you wanna go hold hands or...whatever?" Mabel, with excitement on her face, "Oh, oh, my goodness." She giggles. "Don't wait up!" She runs out. Norman points at Stan, Hope and Dipper and runs into the wall several times on his way out. Dipper, back to narrating, "There was something about Norman that wasn't right. Hope and I decided to consult the journal."

Dipper and Hope are now in the attic. Hope says to Dipper, "Here's the page." Dipper, after mentally deciding to ask Hope more about the journal later, reads aloud from the Journal, "Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes these creatures are often mistaken for...teenagers?! Beware Gravity Falls' nefarious…" He gasps. We see the journal page on The Undead. The picture of the zombie becomes Norman. Norman, as the zombie on the journal page, "'Sup." Dipper screams, "ZOMBIE!" It echoes and we see Stan in the bathroom. Stan asks himself, "Somebody say "crombie"? What is that, crombie? That's not even a word. You're losing your mind." Hope wide eyed, looking out of the window, "Uh, Dipper?" Dipper looks out the window to see Norman walking towards Mabel with outstretched arms while moaning. Mabel says while smiling, "I like you." Dipper tries to warn his sister, "Oh, no! Mabel! No, no, Mabel, watch out!" Norman grunts and puts hands around Mabel's neck. Dipper screams and Hope shouts, "MABEL!" Norman removes his arms, revealing a flower necklace on Mabel's neck and he grunts. Mabel gasps and says, "Daisies? You scallywag…" Dipper looking away from the window, asks Hope, "Is my sister really dating a zombie, or am I just going nuts?" Soos, screwing in a lightbulb, answers Dipper, "It's a dilemma, to be sure." Dipper and Hope gasp. Soos continues, "I couldn't help but overhear you and Hope talkin' aloud to yourselves in this empty room." Dipper talks to Soos, "Soos, you've seen Mabel's boyfriend. He's gotta be a zombie, right?" Soos ponders the question for a second, "Hmm. How many brains didja see the guy eat?" Dipper looks down, "Zero." Soos replies, "Look, dude, I believe you. I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town. Like the mailman? Pretty sure that dude's a werewolf." Flashback of a hairy mailman walking by Soos, who is eating his lunch outside. Soos scoots away from him, suspicious. "But ya gotta have evidence. Otherwise, people are gonna think you and Hope are major league cuckoo clocks. Hope says to Soos, "As always, Soos, you're right." Soos replies, "My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse." Stan shouts, "Soos! The portable toilets are clogged again!" Soos says while looking off into the distance, "I am needed elsewhere." He backs out into the shadows. Dipper, back to narrating, "My sister could be in trouble. It was time to get some evidence." Hope and Dipper are now filming Mabel and Norman in the park. Mabel throws a Frisbee at Norman, who fails to catch it and falls over. Dipper stops looking through camera and frowns at Norman. Norman is now breaking through a door window to open it from the inside and letting Mabel inside the diner. Norman stumbles around and crashes, trying to follow Mabel. Hope looks out from behind menu. Mabel and Norman are now frolicking in a field. Norman falls into an open grave, then crawls out, hand first, screaming. Mabel and Norman pause, then laugh. "We've seen enough."

In Mabel, Hope and Dipper's room, Mabel is brushing her hair and Dipper and Hope enter. Dipper talks to his sister, "Mabel. We've gotta talk about Norman." Mabel replies, "Isn't he the best? Check out this giant smooch mark he gave me!" She shows her cheek, which has a red spot on it. Dipper and Hope scream. Mabel laughs, "Gullible. It was just an accident with the leaf blower!" Flashback to Mabel with a leaf blower. Mabel puts a picture of Norman on leaf blower's tube. "Kissing practice!" She leans in to leaf blower, but then it sucks in the picture and sticks to her face as well; she runs around screaming, "AHHH! Turn it off! Turn it off!" Back in the present, Mabel says with a smile on her face, "That was fun." Hope says to Mabel, "No, Mabel, listen! We're trying to tell you that Norman is not what he seems!" She uses her tail pincers to grab the Journal from Dippers jacket and shows Mabel the Journal. Mabel gasps and asks, "You think he might be a vampire? That would be so awesome!" Dipper, after grabbing the Journal from Hope's tail pincers, "Guess again, sister. SHA-BAM!" He holds book open to the Gnomes page. Mabel yells out in surprise and Hope tells Dipper, "Wrong page." Dipper looks at the page and says, "Oh, wait. I'm-I'm sorry…" He then flips to Undead page. "Sha-bam!" Mabel looks at the two angry, "A zombie? That is not funny, guys." Dipper explains to his sister, "We're not joking! It all adds up: the bleeding, the limp. He never blinks! Have you noticed that?" Mabel tries to explain that to Dipper, "Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking." Hope replies with, "That doesn't make any sense." Dipper tries to talk some sense with Mabel, "Mabel, remember what the book said about Gravity Falls? Trust no one!" Mabel questions her brother, "Well, what about me, huh? Why can't you trust me?" She puts on star earrings. "Beep bop!" Dipper tries one last attempt at reason while shaking her, "Mabel, he's gonna eat your brain!" Mabel pushes him away, "Dipper, listen to me. Norman and I are going on a date at five o'clock, and I'm gonna be ADORABLE, and he's gonna be DREAMY,..." She says as she pushes Dipper out of the room. Dipper tries to talk to Mabel, "Bu-bu-but—" "And I am not gonna let you ruin it with one of your crazy CONSPIRACIES!" Mabel slams the door. Dipper looks at Hope, who had walked out of the room before Mabel started to push Dipper out of the room. He then sighs and sits down and asks Hope, "What am I gonna do?" Hope has her ears down and she sighs and responds, "I wish I knew."

The clock tells the time at 5:00. The doorbell rings. Mabel pulls on her sweater as she races downstairs. "Coming!" She sees Norman. "Hey, Norman. How do I look?" She shows Norman her sweater, which has a cat on it and the word meow, all coated in sparkly glitter. Norman, entranced by the sparkles, "Shiny…" Mabel smiles, "You always know what to say!" She walks off with him. Dipper and Hope are watching the videos they collected and Dipper says to Hope, "Soos was right. We don't have any real evidence." The video shows Mabel teaching Norman hopscotch, but he only falls over; Dipper fast forwards to Mabel and Norman with Norman's arm around Mabel. "I guess I can be kind of paranoid sometimes and—" On the tape, Norman's hand falls off; he glances around, then reattaches it, making Hope yell out, "Wait, WHAT?!" She rewinds the tape and watches it again; Dipper screams and tips the chair backwards, "We were right! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" He and Hope races outside while yelling, "Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan!" Stan is on a stage in front of a bunch of tourists; to the crowd, "And here we have Rock that looks like a face rock: the rock that looks like a face." An unnamed hillbilly asks, "Does it look like a rock?" Stan addresses him, "No, it looks like a face." A fat tourist asks, "Is it a face?" Stan says again, "It's a rock that looks like a face!" Dipper runs into the crowd to try and get Stan's attention, "Over here! Grunkle Stan!" Stan yells out, "For the fifth time! It's-it's not an actual face!" Dipper yells out in frustration. Mabel and Norman are now in the woods. Mabel looks at her surroundings, "Finally, we're alone." Norman is behind Mabel and he stares at her, "Yes. Alone…" Back to the Mystery Shack, Dipper is still trying to get Stan's attention, "Stan! Stan!" Hope sees Wendy drive up in a golf cart and runs over, "Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! We need to borrow the golf cart so we can save Mabel from a zombie!" Wendy gives Hope the key and walks off, "Try not to hit any pedestrians." Hope gives Dipper the keys and flies to the top of the golf cart. Dipper gets in and starts to drive, but Soos stops him, "Dudes, it's me: Soos. This is for the zombies." He gives Dipper a shovel. Dipper replies with, "Thanks." Soos holds up a baseball bat, "And this is in case you see a piñata." Hope takes the bat and replies, "Uh... Thanks?" Dipper drives off. Soos yells out to them, "Better safe than sorry!" Back in the woods, Norman looks away from Mabel, "Uh, Mabel, now that we've gotten to know each other, there's…" He exhales. "...there's something I should tell you." A breeze goes across Norman's face. Mabel, looking concerned at Norman, "Oh, Norman, you can tell me anything!" She thinks to herself, "Please be a vampire, please be a vampire!" Norman turns back to Mabel, "All right, just...just don't freak out, okay? Just...just keep an open mind, be cool!" He unzips his coat and throws it off; underneath are five gnomes standing on top of each other. The top gnome speaks, "Is this weird? Is this too weird? Do you need to sit down?" Mabel stares at the gnomes in total shock. The top gnome explains, "R-r-right, I'll explain. So! We're gnomes. First off. Get that one outta the way." Mabel, still in total shock, "Uh…" The top gnome introduces himself and the other gnomes, "I'm Jeff, and here we have Carson, Steve, Jason and...I'm sorry, I always forget your name." The gnome than makes up the left foot says, "Schmebulock." Jeff, after snapping his fingers, "Schmebulock! Yes! Anyways, long story short, us gnomes have been lookin' for a new queen! Right, guys?" While this happens, Mabel has sat down on a tree trunk and slapped her left hand on her head. All the gnomes except Jeff shout, "Queen! Queen! Queen!" Jeff says, "Heh. So what do you say?" He taps Steve with his foot, and the gnomes work together to make "Norman" kneel in a proposing fashion, with a crystal on a ring in a ring box. "Will you join us in holy matrignomey? Matri...matri-mo-ny! Blah! Can't talk today!" Mabel looks at the gnomes, "Look... I'm sorry, guys. You're really sweet, but, I'm a girl, and you're gnomes, and it's like, "what"? Yikes…" Jeff, looking at Mabel, We understand. We'll never forget you, Mabel." The gnomes look sad and Mabel smiles "Because we're gonna kidnap you." Mabel asks, "Huh?" Jeff yells and jumps at her. Mabel screams.

As Dipper and Hope are driving through the woods, Dipper yells out, "Don't worry, Mabel! I'll save you from that zombie!" Hope asks, "You mean "we", right?" Dipper looks up at Hope and says, "Yeah, of course. We will save Mabel from the zombie." Mabel yells, "Help!" Hope yells out, "Hold on!" and drives into a hole and through a tunnel that leads to the gnomes. The gnomes are trying to pin down Mabel. Jeff yells out as Dipper and Hope drive closer behind him, "The more you struggle, the more awkward this is gonna be for everybody! Just, ha ha, okay. Get her arm there, Steve!" Mabel, yells out, with Steve biting her sweater arm, "Let go of me!" She punches Steve off and kicks another gnome. Steve bounces around, then stand upright and pukes a rainbow. Dipper asks, "What the heck is going on here?!" A gnome hisses at him and Hope. Mabel yells out to her brother and friend, "Dipper! Hope! Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes! And they're total jerks!" As a gnome pulls her hair, "Hair! Hair! Hair!" Hope looks on confused, "Gnomes? Huh, we were way off." She takes the journal out of Dipper's vest and looks through the book and gives it to Dipper when she reaches the gnomes page, and he reads the page aloud, "Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls Forest. Weaknesses: unknown." When Dipper lowers the book, he and Hope see that the gnomes have managed to tie Mabel to the ground. Mabel looking angry, "Aw, come on!" Dipper walks up to Jeff and demands him, "Hey, HEY! Let go of my sister!" Jeff, looking Dipper, says, "Oh! Ha ha, hey, there! Um, you know, this is all really just a big misunderstanding. You see, your sister's not in danger. She's just marrying all one thousand of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity! Isn't that right, honey?" Mabel yells at Jeff, "You guys are butt-faces!" A gnome covers her mouth, making Mabel's words unable to be heard. Hope holds up the bat Soos gave her, pointing it at Jeff, "Give her back right now, or else!" Jeff, with fury in his eyes, "You think you can stop us, creature? You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the—" Hope hits Jeff away with the bat and Jeff screams. Dipper cuts Mabel free with the shovel. Mabel yells out, "Yah!" She kicks gnomes away; Dipper and Mabel get in the cart, with Hope flying to the top. Jeff yells out loud, "They're getting away with our queen! No, no, no!" Dipper looks at Mabel and says, "Seatbelt." Mabel buckles, and Hope yells, "Let's move!" Dipper backs up and then he drives away. Jeff yells out, "You've messed with the wrong creatures, boy and Wolf Dragon! Gnomes of the forest: ASSEMBLE!" Various gnomes come out and stack up. Mabel yells at her brother, "Hurry, before they come after us!" Dipper replies, "I wouldn't worry about it. See their little legs? Those suckers are tiny!" He stops the cart as he hears a stomping sound; a giant stacked gnome stops at the cart. Hope looks wide eyed, "Dang. I did not know they could do that." Jeff, on the top, using gnomes' hats like levers, "All right, teamwork, guys. Like we practiced." The gnomes growl. Mabel shouts, "Move, MOVE!" Dipper drives the cart away just as the gnomes smash their arm down and it breaks. The gnomes run frantically back into position and they chase the kids again. The gnomes try to grab them again, but Hope breathes fire out at them. Some of the gnomes get caught on fire, but they jump into a nearby lake and run back into position. Jeff yells out, "Come back with our queen!" Mabel yells out while looking back, "It's getting closer!" Hope yells back, "I can see that!", and blows fire at the gnomes. The Gnome Giant throws several gnomes at the cart. The gnomes chew cart and cause havoc. Hope yells at them, "Hey, get off!" as she swipes at them with her wolf paw and dragon claws. A gnome bites her back, but screams in pain while holding his mouth. Hope smiles with content as she knows that dragon scales are so hard, only the claw or tooth of a dragon and enchanted weapons can cut through them. A gnome that got past Hope, hangs from side of cart, "Ha ha!" Mabel elbow punches a gnome off. Shmebulock jumps up behind Dipper, who grabs him and slams him into the steering wheel out of annoyance. Schmebulock says weakly, "Schmebulock…" Dipper slams him one more time and lets him fall out of the cart. A gnome jumps onto the cart and claws Dipper's face. Mabel yells out, "I'll save you, Dipper!" Repeatedly punches the gnome off of Dipper's face and the gnome falls off with Dipper's hat. Dipper, dazed from the punches, "Thanks, Mabel…" Mabel smiling, "Don't mention it." The Gnome Giant picks up tree and throws it. Mabel shouts, "Look out!" Hope, Dipper and Mabel scream as the cart overturns, landing next to the Mystery Shack.

Hope pops out from behind the cart as Dipper and Mabel crawl out of the cart. The gnomes approaches. Dipper shouts, to the gnomes, "Stay back, man!" He throws the shovel at the gnome giant. The gnomes punch the shovel in mid-air. Dipper and Mabel Grab each other and scream. Dipper asks, "Uh, where's Grunkle Stan?!" Inside the Mystery Shack, Stan is with some tourists as he is holding up a swirly pattern on a stick, "Behold! The world's most distracting object." The tourists look on in amazement, "Oooh…" Stan, looking at the object as well, "Just try to look away, you can't! I can't even remember what I was talking about." Jeff yells at the three, "It's the end of the line, kids and Wolf Dragon! Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!" Hope yells, "Over my dead body!" Dipper shouts out, "There's gotta be a way out of this!" He's about to get out the journal, but Mabel walk forward and says, "I gotta do it." Dipper tries to talk sense into his sister, "What?! Mabel, don't do this! Are you crazy?" Mabel says to Dipper, "Trust me." Hope asks, "What?" Mabel says, "Dipper, Hope, just this once. Trust me!" Dipper and Hope glance at gnomes, then Mabel, then back away. Mabel, looking at the gnomes, "All right, Jeff. I'll marry you." Jeff shouts in excitement, "Hot dog! Help me down there, Jason!" He climbs down to her. "Thanks, Andy! All right, left foot, there we go, watch those fingers, Mike." He approaches Mabel and holds out the diamond ring. "Eh? Eh?" Mabel holds out her hand and Jeff puts the ring on her hand. "Bada-bing, bada-bam! Now let's get you back into the forest, honey!" Mabel says, while admiring the ring, "You may now kiss the bride!" Jeff looks surprised, but then says, "Well, don't mind if I do." He leans up to kiss Mabel. Mabel leans out to kiss Jeff, then takes out leaf blower. Jeff yells out, "Ah! Hey, hey, wait a minute! Whoa, whoa! Wh-what's goin' on?!" He gets sucked half-way into leaf-blower. Mabel shouts, "That's for lying to me!" She increases the sucking power. "THAT'S for breaking my heart!" Jeff, slowly getting sucked in further, "Ow! My face!" Mabel yells, "And THIS is for messing with my brother and friend! She aims at the gnomes, and says to Dipper, "Wanna do the honors?" Dipper responds, "On three!" Hope, Dipper and Mabel say at the same time, "One, two, three!" The blast Jeff towards the gnome monster, and the Gnome Giant explodes into separate gnomes. Jeff, while flying off into the distance, "I'll get you back for this!..." The other gnomes scream when they fall. One gnome asks, "Who's giving orders? I need orders!" Another gnome says, "My arms are tired." Dipper, while Mabel moves the leaf blower back and forth, blowing gnomes away, asks the gnomes, "Anyone else want some?" The gnomes run off on all fours and one gets caught in a six-pack holder. Gompers picks the six-pack holder up and runs off. The gnome in the six-pack holder screams in the background. Mabel looking sad, "Hey, Hope, Dipper? I, um...I'm sorry for ignoring your advice. You and Hope really were just looking out for me." Hope replies, "It's alright, Mabel. You don't have to apologize." Dipper smiling at his sister then says, "Oh, don't be like that. You saved our butts back there." Mabel, still looking sad, "I guess I'm just sad that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes." Dipper, looking hopeful, "Look on the bright side. Maybe the next one will be a vampire!" Mabel says, "Oh, you're just saying that!" Hope says, "There actually are a few vampires here." Dipper, holding his hands out wide, "Awkward sibling hug?" Mabel, also holding her arms out wide, "Awkward sibling hug." Dipper & Mabel hug and pat each other, "Pat, pat." Mabel asks Hope, "One thing I don't get, how did you know about the Journal?" Dipper agrees, "Yeah, did you know the author?" Hope sighs and grabs the Journal from Dipper. She takes a dragon claw and scratches at the edge of the book. Dipper and Mabel gasp, but are then surprised to see that Hope unlocked a secret page. She hands the Journal back to Dipper, and he reads the page, "In 1425, a brave 16 year old girl by the name of Rose Pines made a deal with a demon to save her town. The girl was then turned into…" The page is revealed to show Hope drawn on it. Mabel gasps, "Hope? Is this really you?" Hope sighs, "Yep. I was born a human in 1409, but then I made that deal. I've been like this ever since. I helped the author make the Journal. That's how I knew about it. I helped him to try and see if I can find a way to kill the demon who cursed me to be like this for a million years. I pretty much made a blood oath that I would never tell anyone about him or the journal." Dipper then realizes, "Wait, if your last name is Pines, then that must mean, you're our ancestor!" Hope nods, and Dipper and Mabel look toward each other and nod. Mabel then puts a hand on Hope's body, "Don't worry, Hope. We'll help you." Hope asks, "Are you sure? It'll be dangerous." Dipper says, "Don't worry about it. The three of us can take on anything." Hope then wipes a tear forming in her eyes and says, "Thanks guys." and she hugs the twins. The three walk into the Mystery Shack. Stan, with money in his hands, "Yeesh. You three get hit by a bus or something? Ahah!" Hope, Dipper and Mabel begin to walk away. "Uh, hey! W-wouldn't you know it? Um, I accidentally overstocked some inventory, so, uh...how's about each of you kids take one item from the gift shop? On the house, y'know?" Mabel asks, "Really?" Dipper, folding his arms, "What's the catch?" Stan replies, "The catch is do it before I change my mind, now take something." Dipper and Mabel look around at items. Dipper picks up a blue pine tree hat from one of the shelves and looks in a mirror, "Hmm. That oughta do the trick!" Mabel says, "And I will have a…" She grabs an item from box, hides it, and twirls around. "GRAPPLING HOOK! Yes!" Stan, to Dipper, "Wouldn't she rather have, like, a doll, or something?" Mabel fires the grappling hook up at the ceiling; it catches and pulls her up, while tilting a box that says "Fragile", "GRAPPLING HOOK!" Stan, looking up at Mabel, "Fair enough!" Hope asks, "Wonder what situation that will be useful in?" Hope, Mabel and Dipper are now in their bedroom. Dipper is writing while Mabel jumps on her bed, laughing, an Hope is curled up on the floor. Dipper, writing in Journal while narrating, "This journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust." Looking at Mabel and Hope, "But when you battle a hundred gnomes side-by-side with two people, you realize that they've probably always got your back." Mabel shoots grappling hook, then reels it back with a stuffed animal attached. Dipper asks, "Hey, Hope, could you get the light?" Hope gets up, but Mabel says, "I'm on it!" She knocks light out the window with the grappling hook. "It works!" Hope, Dipper and Mabel laugh. "Grappling hook…" Dipper, while narrating, "Our uncle told us there was nothing strange about this town. But who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked." Stan walks in the shack holding a lantern. He goes into the gift shop and puts a code into the vending machine. The machine opens, and Stan walks inside, looking side-to-side before closing it behind him. In the end, Steve pukes a rainbow for several seconds with a cryptogram that can be solved with a Caesar cipher: ZHOFRPH WR JUDYLWB IDOOV


	2. Chapter 2:The Legend of the Gobblewonker

We open with Hope, Dipper and Mabel at a table during breakfast. Mabel, holding Sir Syrup, a syrup bottle, "Are you ready for the ultimate challenge?" Dipper, holding Mountie Man, another syrup bottle, "I'm always ready!" Mabel, while moving Sir Syrup, "Then you know what this means!" Mabel and Dipper holding their respective syrup bottles with Hope watching the two play as they shout at the same time, "Syrup race!" The tilt the syrup bottles back and start to drip syrup into their mouths. "Ahhh!" We see Sir syrup as Mabel shouts, "Go, Sir Syrup!" We then focus on Mountie Man as Dipper yells, "Go, Mountie Man!" The twins are both shouting, "Go! Go!" Dipper is left saying, "Go! Go!", as Mabel says, "Almost...Almost…" She taps the bottom of her bottle and the syrup drips onto her tongue. "Yes!" She coughs. "I won!" She coughs a bit more, when Hope slaps Mabel on the back with her dragon tail. Mabel looks toward Hope and says, "Thanks." Hope replies with, "Don't mention it." Dipper picks up and reads newspaper, "Ho ho, no way! Hey guys, check this out." Mabel, looking at ad in newspaper, "Human-sized hamster balls?" She gasps. "I'm human-sized!" Hope looks toward Mabel, "Mabel, I think Dipper meant this." She points to a monster photo contest ad. Dipper nods his head and says, "We see weirder stuff than that every day! And I'm sure Hope has seen crazier stuff through her life. We didn't get any photos of those gnomes, did we?" Mabel, smiling, "Nope, just memories. And this beard hair." She holds up beard hair. Hope looks at her with a disgusted face, "Ew, that's gross." Dipper, also looking at Mabel weird, "Why did you save that?" Mabel shrugs and makes an "I dunno" sound. Stan, just entering the kitchen, "Good morning, knuckleheads. You three know what day it is?" Dipper guesses, "Um...Happy anniversary?" Mabel shouts her guess, "Mazel tov!" Stan, after hitting Dipper's head with a newspaper, "It's Family Fun Day, genius!" He walks over to fridge and gets out milk. "We're cuttin' off work and having one of those, you know,..." He sniffs the milk in the refrigerator, "...bonding-type deals." Hope looks at him with an unsure face and asks, "Stan, is this gonna be anything like our last family bonding day?" Flashback to Hope, Dipper and Mabel helping Grunkle Stan make counterfeit money. Stan, looking at Dipper's fake bill, "You call that Ben Franklin? He looks like a woman!" They hear police sirens. "Uh-oh." Mabel shudders at the memory and says, "The county jail was so cold." Stan gets serious, "All right, maybe I haven't been the best summer caretaker. But I swear, today we're gonna have some real family fun. Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?" Hope, Dipper, and Mabel all shout at the same time, "YAY!" Dipper asks confused, "Wait, what?"

In the forest Grunkle Stan is driving his car with Hope, Dipper and Mabel blindfolded in the backseat. Stan leans down to adjust the radio and the tires screech. Dipper yells out in panic, "Whoa whoa!" He sighs. "Blindfolds never lead to anything good." Mabel says, amazed, "Wow! I feel like all my other senses are heightened. I can see with my fingers!" She touches Dipper's face, making him laugh. The car jumps, making the twins fly into the doors. Hope asks from the floor of the car, which is big enough to hold her, "Whoa! Stan, are you wearing a blindfold?" Stan, looking back, "Ha ha. Nah, but with these cataracts I might as well be. What is that, a woodpecker?" He drives through a wooden guardrail, making Hope and the twins scream. Hope, Dipper and Mabel, still blindfolded, are standing in front of the parked car, which now has branches and sticks caught in the grill. Stan, sounding excited, "Okay, okay. Open 'em up!" Hope, Dipper and Mabel take their blindfolds off. Stan shouts, "Ta-da! It's fishin' season!" Mabel asks, "Fishing?" Hope looks around, surprised, "I did not expect this." Dipper asks, "What're you playin' at, old man?" Stan says, "You're gonna love it! The whole town's out here!" Stan, Hope and the twins look at the lake showing various townspeople doing different fishing activities. Hope gave descriptions of the towns people to Dipper and Mabel, so they knew who everyone was. A woman with one eye closed, wearing an apron, Lazy Susan waving a pan, "Here, fishy fishies! Get into the pan!" A man with a press fedora, Toby Determined, taking picture of man with large fish, "Say cheese!" He takes the picture, the flash causing the man to fall backwards into the lake. Four redheads in flannel, Manly Dan and his sons, Marcus, Kevin, and Gus are all in one boat. Marcus, asks his father, "Uh, is this good?" He holds up a fishing pole. Manly Dan shouts, "NO!" He takes the pole and breaks it in half. "I'll show you how a real man fishes!" He grabs a fish straight out of water. "Ha ha ha ha ha!" He throws the fish on the floor of their boat and jumps on it, he punches it repeatedly. Marcus, Kevin and Gus chant, "Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!" A man in a tank top with a hat, short shorts, and boots, Tyler Cutebiker, says to Manly Dan, "Get 'em! Get 'em!" Stan, still looking out, "That's some quality family bonding!" Dipper asks, confused, "Grunkle Stan, why do you wanna bond with us all of a sudden?" Stan, looking back to Hope and the twins, "Come on, this is gonna be great! I've never had fishing buddies before. The guys from the lodge won't go with me: they don't "like" or "trust" me." Mabel says quietly to Hope and Dipper, "I think he actually wants to fish with us." Hope whispers back, "He's never shown any interest in fishing before." Stan says, "Hey, I know what'll cheer you sad sacks up." He slaps hats on Hope, Dipper and Mabel. "Pow! Pines family fishing hats! That-that's hand stitching, you know." The "L" on the "MABEL" hat peels off. "It's just gonna be you, me, and those goofy hats on a boat for ten hours!" Dipper asks out loud, "Ten hours?" Stan, bringing out a book, "I brought the joke book!" He holds up 1001 Yuk 'Em Ups. Hope yells out, "No! NO!" Mabel says, "There has to be a way out of this."

An old man's voice is heard screaming offscreen, "I SEEN IT! I SEEN IT AGAIN!" The man is revealed to be the town hillbilly, Old Man McGucket. He was an elderly man with a big hat, a large beard, and shabby clothes with bandages on his hands and feet. He runs from dock, crashing into and overturning various things. "The Gravity Falls Gobblewonker! Come quick before it scrabdoodles away!" He then dances frantically. Mabel, smiling, "Awww...He's doing a happy jig!" The man, getting in Mabel's face, "NOOO! It's a jig of grave danger!" A man, Tate McGucket, comes out and sprays the man with a spray bottle. "Hey, hey! Now what did I tell you about scaring my customers? This is your last warning, Dad!" McGucket, through the water getting sprayed on his face, "But I got proof this time, by gummity!" McGucket points at a boat, which is divided in two, "BEHOLD! It's the Gobble-dy-wonker what done did it! It had a long neck like a gee-raffe! And wrinkly skin like...like this gentleman right here!" He points to Stan. Stan, picking his ear, "Huh?" McGucket continues his story, "It chawed my boat up to smitheroons, and shim-shammed over to Scuttlebutt Island! YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME!" An African American man, Sheriff Blubs, shouts out, "Attention all units! We got ourselves a crazy old man!" Everyone but the Pines and the ranger point and laugh at Old Man McGucket. Tate McGucket shakes head in shame. McGucket, walking off, "Aww, donkey spittle! Aw, banjo polish!" The people then leave the dock.

Stan says, "Well, that happened. Now let's untie this boat and get out on that lake!" He steps into his rowboat, which is big enough to hold Hope and the three humans, and starts untying it from the dock. Dipper, looking toward the girls, "Hope, Mabel, did you hear what that old dude said?" Mabel, mimicking Old Man McGucket, "Aww, donkey shpittle!" Dipper says, "The other thing. About the monster." He starts pulling out the newspaper. "If we can snag a photo of it, we can split the prize between the three of us." Hope looks toward Dipper and says, "I don't have any use for money, so you and Mabel can split it fifty-fifty." Mabel gasps, "That's two fifties!" Dipper replies, "Imagine what you could do with five. Hundred. Dollars!" In Mabel's imagination, she is inside a human sized hamster ball in front of a hamster in a smaller hamster ball. Mabel says to the hamster, "Not so high and mighty anymore!" The hamster covers his eyes with his paws in shame and says, "Aww…" Mabel rolls back and forth while laughing. She continues to giggle and crashes through the wall and rolls out onto the street and meets Xyler and Craz. "Hey, boys!" The boys lower their glasses. "You can look, but ya can't touch." When the light turns green, Mabel scurries down the street in her ball. "Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak!" Xyler and Craz's glasses have fallen off of their faces. They look to each other and shout, "Awesome!" Back to reality, Dipper snaps his fingers to try and snap his sister out of her fantasy, "Mabel! Mabel?" Mabel looks back to Dipper and Hope and yells, "Hope and Dipper, I am one million percent on board with this!" Dipper tells Stan the news, "Grunkle Stan! Change of plans: we're taking that boat to Scuttlebutt Island, and we're gonna find that Gobblewonker!" Hope, Dipper and Mabel chant, "Monster hunt! Monster hunt!" McGucket joins the chant, "Monster hunt!" Hope, Dipper and Mabel stop chanting and stare at McGucket. "Monster... Eh... I'll go." A large honking sound is heard. Soos pulls up in his boat, "You dudes say somethin' about a monster hunt?" Mabel yells out, "Soos!" Soos replies, "Wassup, hambone!" Soos and Mabel fist bump and make explosion noises. "Dude, you could totally use my boat for your hunt. It's got a steering wheel, chairs; normal boat stuff." Stan gets a bit angry, "All right, all right, let's think this through. Ya three could go waste your time on some epic monster-finding adventure, or you could spend the day learning how to tie knots and skewer worms with your Great Uncle Stan!" Hope looks at him with a 'seriously?' face, as she is his ancestor. Hope and the twins look at Soos in his boat; he does a robot dance. They look back at Stan in his leaky old boat; he sniffs his left armpit. They look at Scuttlebutt Island in the distance. They grin at each other. Stan asks, "So, whaddaya say?" Hope and the twins drive off laughing with Soos in his boat toward Scuttlebutt Island, leaving Stan behind. Mabel shouts, "We made the right choice!" Soos yells out, "Yes!" Stan yells, angry, "Ingrates! Aw, who needs 'em? I got a whole box of creepy fishing lures to keep me company." After a moment of looking at the lure with flies buzzing around them, Stan cringes in disgust and closes the box. On the S.S. Cool Dude, headed for the island, Dipper stands on the stern of the boat, with one foot on the guardrail. He adjusts the visor of his cap. Dipper turns around, "Hoist the anchor!" Soos pulls up cinderblock anchor. Dipper yells, "Raise the flag!" Mabel holds up a beach towel with a sun wearing sunglasses and the word 'Fun' is above it. Dipper yells, "Man the weapons!" Hope loads the harpoon gun and salutes with her wolf paw. Mabel yells, "We're gonna find that Gobblewonker!" Dipper yells, "We're gonna win that photo contest!" Soos asks, "Do any of you dudes have sunscreen?" Hope yells, "We're gonna...go get sunscreen!" Mabel and Soos yell, "Yay!" The boat does a U-turn away from the island. Underwater, a strange shape swims by.

Dipper is now pacing on the boat in front of Hope, Mabel and Soos. Dipper says while pacing, "Alright. If we wanna win this contest, we've gotta do it right! Think. What's the number one problem with most monster hunts?" Soos replies, "You're a side character, you die in the first five minutes of the movie. Dude, am I a side character? Do y'ever think about stuff like that?" Hope replies, "There are many problems in this situation. Non believers tend to bite it, people hide too much or have two left feet, only slash weapons do damage, police are stupid, too many jump scares, they're in the middle of nowhere, groups split up, and the monster always comes back. Just to name a few." Dipper closes his eyes and shakes his hands, "No, no, no. Camera trouble! Say Bigfoot shows up. Soos, be Bigfoot?" Soos strikes a Bigfoot pose. Dipper, in mock acting voice, "There he is! Bigfoot!" He pats his life vest. "Uh-oh, no camera!" He pulls a camera out of jacket. "Oh, wait, here's one! Aw, no film!" Back to his normal voice, "You see? You see what I'm, doing here?" Hope, Mabel and Soos agree as Soos says, "Oh, yeah. Dude's got a point." Dipper says, "That's why I bought twenty one disposable cameras!" He reveals cameras as he lists off their locations. "Two on my ankle, three in my jacket, four for each of you, three extras in this bag, and one...under my hat! There's no way we're gonna miss this. Okay everybody, let's test our cameras out!" Soos takes a picture of himself, the flash startling him, "Aw, dude!" He throws the camera overboard. Dipper replies, "You see? This is exactly why you need backup cameras. We still have twenty!" Mabel throws a camera at a seagull flying over her head, "Ah, bird!" Dipper replies, "Nineteen! Okay, guys, I repeat; don't lose your cameras!" Soos asks, "Wait, lose the cameras?" Dipper yells, "DON'T!" Soos points to two cameras floating in the water, "Dude, I just threw two away." Dipper, getting stressed, Seventeen! All right! We still have seventeen camera-" He accidentally crushes one with his fist. "Sixteen. We have sixteen cameras." Mabel asks as she holds a camera in one hand, a bag full of cameras in the other, holding them both over the edge of the boat, "So what's the plan? Throw more cameras overboard or what?" Dipper yells, "NO! No. Okay. You'll be lookout, Soos can work the steering wheel, Hope will run defenses, and I'll be captain." Mabel asks, outraged, "What? Why do you get to be captain? What about Mabel, huh?" She starts chanting, "Ma-bel! Ma-bel! Ma-bel! Ma-bel!" Hope replies, "I'm not sure that's a good idea." Mabel the asks, "What about co-captain?" Dipper says, "There's no such thing as co-captain." Mabel says with an 'I didn't do it' look on her face, "Aw, whoops." She tosses a camera into the water, making the total fifteen. Dipper yells, "Okay, fine! You can be co-captain." Soos asks, "Can I be associate co-captain?" Mabel replies, "As co-captain, I authorize that request." Dipper responds, "Well, as first co-captain, our number one order of business is to lure the monster out with this." He gestures at a barrel of Fish Food that Hope had brought. Soos asks, "Permission to taste some?" Hope, Dipper and Mabel stare at Soos. Dipper says, "Granted." Mabel replies, "Permission co-granted." Soos then says, "Permission associate co-granted." He licks some, than gags and wipes his tongue, coughing. "Dude, I don't know what I expected that to taste like!" Hope, Dipper and Mabel laugh. Hope then says, "Oh, Soos…" Stan, watching them, "Traitors! Ah, I'll find my own fishing buddies!" He looks around and sees a couple sitting in a boat up ahead. "Ah!" He starts his boat's engine. "There's my new pals!" The man turns away from the woman, looks at a ring in a box; and he takes a breath, "Now that we're alone, Rosanna, there's a burning question which my heart longs to ask of you." Rosanna, tearing up, "Oh, Reginald!" Stan yells, "Hey!" He pulls his boat up to theirs. "Wanna hear a joke?" Before Reginald can respond, Stan takes the silence as a yes, "Here goes. My ex-wife still misses me...but her aim is gettin' better!" He pauses. "Her aim is gettin' better!" He pauses again. "Y'see, it's-it's funny because marriage is terrible." Reginald and Rosanna row their boat away. Stan asks, "What?"

The S.S. Cool Dude is now approaching Scuttlebutt Island. There is fog everywhere. Soos is at the back of the boat shoveling fish food over the side. Hope, Dipper and Mabel are at the front. Dipper and Hope are trying to see through the fog while Mabel is playing ventriloquist with a pelican. "Hey! How's it going?" Mabel, as pelican, "It's going awesome! Bow bow, buh bow bow!" Dipper looked at Mabel, annoyed, "Mabel, leave that thing alone." Hope adds, "You have no idea how many germs that could have." Mabel moves the pelican's beak, "Aw, I don't mind none!" As herself, "Hey, look, I'm drinking water!" Moves the pelican's beak while drinking water, "Twinkle, twinkle little…" She chokes on water and coughs, and the pelican flies away. Dipper asks Mabel, "Aren't you supposed to be doing lookout?" Mabel shouts, "Look out!" She throws a volley ball at Dipper, hitting him on the arm. Dipper holds his arm and shivers. Mabel laughs, but then says, "But seriously, I'm on it." The boat jolts to a sudden stop having crashed into the shore of the island. Mabel says, "See? We're here! I'm a lookout genius! Hamster ball, here we come!" Hope then says, "Next time, I'll be the lookout." The quartet disembarks and ventures into the foggy woods. Dipper leads the group while carrying a lantern. Hope is at the rear, with her being the largest. They soon come to a large sign nailed to a tree that says "Scuttlebutt Island." Soos and Mabel stop in front of it. Soos says with a smile, "Dude, check it out." He covers the "Scuttle" part of the sign. "Butt Island." Mabel looks at Mabel, "Soos, you rapscallion!" Hope just shakes her head at the joke. Mabel asks Dipper, "Hey! Why aren't you laughing? Are you scared?" Dipper says, "Pssh! Yeah, right! I'm not-" Mabel pokes him on the nose and blows a raspberry, "Yeah, you are!" Dipper yells, "Hey!" He drops the lantern as Mabel continues poking him and blowing raspberries. "Quit...! Stop! Mabel!" There's a growling noise in the distance. Mabel stops teasing Dipper and they look around. Hope raises her wings and bears her teeth in defense. Soos comes up to them. Soos asks, "Dude, did you guys hear that?" Mabel asked, "What was that? Was it your stomach?" Soos replied, "Nah, my stomach normally sounds like whale noises." Mabel and Hope listen to Soos' stomach, which makes whale noises. Hope says, "Whoa" Mabel responds, "Wow. So majestic." A possum grabs the lantern and runs away. Dipper gasps and yells, "Our lantern! Aww! I can't see anything!" Soos looked around scared, "Dude, I dunno, man. Maybe this, uh...Maybe this isn't worth it." Dipper asks, "Not worth it? Guys, imagine what would happen if we got that picture!" In Dipper's imagination, he is dressed like Indiana Jones being interviewed on a talk show. Charlie, the talk show host, introduces Dipper, "Tonight we're here with adventure seeker Dipper Pines, who bravely photographed the elusive Gobblewonker! Tell me, Dipper: what's the secret to your success?" Dipper answers, "Well, I run away from nothing." He dumps coffee into mouth; an embarrassing picture of Grunkle Stan appears on screen. "Nothing, except for when I ran away from my annoying Grunkle Stan, who I ditched in order to pursue that lake monster." Charlie responds, "How right you were to do so. He looked like a real piece of work. I don't often do this, but I feel the need to give you an award!" He gives him a medal and they get their picture taken. Mabel crashes through the wall in a hamster ball and yells, "CHARLIE! WHY WON'T YOU INTERVIEW ME?!" She chases after Dipper and Charlie, screaming like a maniac. Back in real life, Dipper smiles and yells, "I'm in!" Mabel yells, "Me, too!" Dipper and Mabel run off with Hope behind them. Soos yells out, "All right, dudes, I'm comin'!" He chases them. Soos beatboxes while Mabel tries to rap, "My name is Mabel! It rhymes with table! It also rhymes with...glabel! It also rhymes with...shmabel!" Soos says, "Dude, we should be writing this down." Dipper, holding a camera, "Guys, guys, guys! You hear something?" The growling noise from earlier can be heard; a flock of birds flies overhead, away from the sound. Hope responds, "This is it! This is it!" Dipper and Mabel punch each other excitedly and walking towards the sound, with Hope tailing behind them, "Yes yes yes! Hoo hoo hoo!" Soos grabs a stick and follows them into the fog. Walking through the fog, Soos stops the group when he spots a lake monster silhouette. The group ducks behind a log. Dipper says, "Everyone: Get your cameras ready!" Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos turn cameras on. Dipper yells, "Ready? GO!" Soos yells and jumps over the log, holding his camera in front of him as he runs toward the silhouette, snapping photos at random. Hope and the twins follow him, but as they get closer, they discover the silhouette was the remains of a wrecked boat with beavers living on it. Beaver 1, subtitled, "I love cavorting!" Beaver 2, subtitled, "That deserves a hug!" Beaver 2 hugs Beaver 1. Beaver 3 thumps tail and walks sideways of the boat. Dipper is confused, "But...but what was that noise, then? I heard a monster noise!" The "monster noise" sounds again. It turns out to be a beaver chewing on, and sometimes activating, a rusty old chainsaw. Hope looks surprised and says, "Cool." Soos then says, "Sweet! Beaver with a chainsaw." He takes a pictures of it. Dipper looks sad, "Maybe that old guy was crazy after all." Mabel, who is also sad, "He did use the word "scrapdoodle."" Dipper sighs.

Back at the lake, Stan is teaching Hank's son how to thread a line. Stan says, "Look, when you're threadin' the line-lot of people don't know this-but you wanna use a barrel knot." Then he whispers, "That's a secret from one fishing buddy to another! Heh heh." Hank's son asks, scared, "Uh, I, uh, who are you, exactly?" Stan then says, "Just call me your GRUNKLE STAN!" Hank's wife says, annoyed and angry, "Sir, SIR, SIR! Why are you talking to our son? If you don't leave right now, I'm calling the police!" Stan is worried, "Ha ha, you see, the thing about that is…" He starts his motor and speeds away. Hank's wife yells, "Go bother your own kids!" Back at Scuttlebutt Island, Soos is taking pictures of a beaver posing on a stump while saying, "Ooh, yeah! Work it! Work it! Nice! Nice! Gimme another one of those! Yeah, I like that one." Dipper looks at the water upset, "What're we gonna say to Grunkle Stan? We ditched him over nothing." He throws a stone into the lake and sighs. The rock Dipper is sitting on shakes. "Hey... guys, do you feel that?" The rocks sinks under the water and Dipper swims to shore. "Hey, hey, whoa, whoa!" The Gobblewonker's silhouette is seen swimming away. Mabel exclaims, "Ahhh!" and Hope explains, "There is goes!" Dipper yells out, "This is it!" He takes some pictures. "Come on! This is our chance!" Hope, Soos and Mabel back up. "What's wrong with you guys?" The Gobblewonker swims back towards the island and begins to rise as the other speak. Mabel says, "Dipper...?", while Soos says, "Dude...?" and Hope says, "Come towards us really slowly." Dipper is getting annoyed, ""It's not that hard, all right? All you gotta do is point, and shoot. Like this!" He aims camera at Gobblewonker and realizes it's right in front of him. The Gobblewonker roars, causing Dipper to drop his camera and the four to run away. Soos yells, "Run!" The Gobblewonker pushes a tree over which falls and almost hits Hope, Dipper and Mabel, but Dipper lunges at Mabel and they roll out of the way while Hope flew upwards out of the way. They continue to run and dodge falling trees and eventually catch up with Soos. Soos yells, "Get back to the boat! HURRY!" The Gobblewonker snaps at Mabel who hops onto Soos' back. Dipper aims the camera at Gobblewonker, but trips over a root, dropping the camera. He yells, "The picture!" He starts to run to the camera. Hope grabs Dipper as she flies to catch up to Soos. Soos then tells Dipper, "Dude, if it makes you feel any better, I got tons of pictures of those beavers, dude!" Dipper yells out, angry, "WHY WOULD THAT MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?!" The group is still running towards the boat. Soos and Hope help the others on, then climb in themselves. Hope and Soos' presence pushes the boat back into the water and Soos runs towards the helm. Hope yells out, "Soos, get us out of here!" They start driving away in the boat backwards. Dipper yells, "All right! This is it!" He tries to take a picture. "Cracked lens?! Soos! Get a photo!" Soos is throwing cameras at the monster, while Hope drives the boat away. Dipper yells, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Soos replies, "Oh! I still got one left! Don't worry, dude!" He throws a camera to Dipper but misses hitting the wall and breaking the camera. The Gobblewonker dives into the water and begins to chase the gang. Hope steers the ship forwards and drives away from it. Dipper yells out, "Go, go, go, go, go!"

Back with Stan on his boat, struggling to tie a knot, he is grunting, "Er, ugh, gah! Mollycoddling…" Shmipper, in a boat a few yards away with his sister, dog and Grandpa, "Can you pwease tell me mo'e funny stories, Pop Pop?" Pop Pop replies, "Anything for my fishing buddies!" He laughs and pats his grandchildren and dog on their heads. Stan growls, thinking about how that could be him, Hope, Dipper, and Mabel. Shmipper says, "Pop Pop? I just weewized dat...I wuv you." Stan yells at them, "Aw, come on! Boo! Boo!" Pop Pop yells back, "Hey, now! What's the big idea?" The dog growls at Stan. Shmipper then says, "Maybe he has no one who wuvs him, Pop Pop." Stan replies, "Yeah, well, I...I…" S.S. Cool Dude drives past him and soaks him. He throws his hat to the ground in frustration, then sits down and sighs. Dipper yells, "HOPE! BEAVERS!" A beaver, subtitled, "We're still beavers." The boat crashes into the old, broken boat and beavers fly everywhere, biting the boat and the crew. Soos yells, "Ah, beavers! Oh, no!" Beavers are biting Dipper's hat. Mabel shakes a beaver off of her arm, and a beaver lunges at Soos, while beavers land on Hope, who screams, "GET OFF OF ME!", while she stumbles away from the wheel. Mabel takes control on the wheel, steering away from the Gobblewonker. Dipper tries to dislodge a beaver from the side of the boat while Soos runs in circles crying in pain from the beaver still on his face and Hope tries to claw at the beavers on her back. Dipper throws beavers towards the Gobblewonker who dives and continues to chase them under the water. The S.S. Cool Dude drives through a place with people fishing, who are overturned by the Gobblewonker behind them. With Manly Dan and his sons, Dan head locking a fish and his sons cheering for him. Manly Dan yells with the fish, "Headlock!" Marcus, Kevin and Gus chant, "Dad! Dad! Dad!" Their boat is turned over by a wave from the Gobblewonker. Fish start raining down on them. Manly Dan screams out, "The fishes! They seek revenge! Swim, boys! Swim!" Back on the S.S. Cool Dude. The Gobblewonker swipes at the boat and manages to knock the control cabin off. Mabel yells, "Aah! Look out!" A man, transporting a glass sheet over the water with another man by boat, "Easy...Easy…" The boat drives through it and breaks it. The other man shouts, "My glass!" Mabel sees a dead-end ahead, "WHERE DO I GO?!" Dipper looks around. He takes out Journals and flips through pages. "Um...uh...GO INTO THE FALLS! I think there might be a cave behind there!" Mabel yells, "MIGHT BE?!" Hope yells, "Trust him!" They all scream and the boat goes through the waterfall and into cave behind. Their boat crashes, sending them into the dirt. The all stand up, and turn around to see the Gobblewonker swim in after them and get stuck in the cave entrance. Mabel yells out in joy, "It's stuck!" Dipper, now happy, "Ha ha! Yeah! Wait...It's stuck?" He tries to find a camera but he has none. Mabel lifts Dipper's hat to reveal he still has one last camera, "Boop." Dipper laughs and takes shots of the Gobblewonker. Hope asks, "Didja get a good one?" Dipper replies, "THEY'RE ALL GOOD ONES!" He hugs Hope and Mabel. Mabel shouts out, "WOO! HAMSTER BALL!" The Gobblewonker, still roaring, gets hit by a rock. It's head falls down with an electric noise. Hope asks, "What the...?" She walks up to the Gobblewonker and touches its side. "Huh?" Mabel asks, "What's wrong?" Hope steps on the Gobblewonker and knocks it. It makes a hollow metallic sound. Hope climbs up the Gobblewonker. Soos warns, "Careful, dude!" Hope responds, "I've got this! Hold on!" She climbs over the Gobblewonker, then pops up from the other side. "Hey, guys! Come check this out!"

The gang discovers a handle and turns it, causing steam to come out. They open the trapdoor causing more steam to come out. They discover old man McGucket inside controlling a machine. McGucket mumbles to himself, "Work the bellows and the…" He looks around and realizes he's been discovered. "Eh? Aww, banjo polish!" Dipper asks, "Wha- Yo- You?! You made this? W-w-why?" McGucket replies, sadly, "Well, I...I, uh...I just wanted attention." Dipper replies, "I still don't understand." Old Man McGucket responds, "Well, first I just hootenannied up a biomechanical brain wave generator, and then I learned to operate a stick-shift with ma beard!" Mabel says, "Okay, yeah. But why did you do it?" Old Man McGucket replies, "Well, when you get to be an old fella like me, nobody pays any attention to you anymore." Flashback of McGucket outside his son's window with a baseball and gloves and his son, inside his office, closing his blinds. Old Man McGucket narrates, "My own son hasn't visited me in months!" Flashback moves to McGucket building the Gobblewonker. "So I figured maybe I'd catch his fancy with a fifteen ton aquatic robut!" He laughs like maniac and the flashback ends. He sighs. "In retrospect, it seems a bit contrived. You just don't know the length us old-timers go through for a little quality time with our family." Hope, Dipper and Mabel look at the fishing hats Grunkle Stan gave them and sigh. Soos says, "Dude. I guess the real lake monster is you three. Heh, heh! Sorry, that just like-boom-just popped into my head there." Hope asks, "So, did you ever talk to your son about how you felt?" Old Man McGucket replies, "No, sir, I got to work straight on the robut!" A projector shows blueprints for the Gobblewonker on the trapdoor. "I made lots of robuts in my day!" He pushes a button and projectors shows a newspaper with a robot pterodactyl breathing fire on a town and the word "chaos". "Like when my wife left me and I created a homicidal pterodactyl-tron." He pushed the button again and projectors shows a picture of a man. "…Or when my pal Ernie didn't come to my retirement party…" He pushes the button again and projector shows another newspaper with a large robot terrorizing a town and the word "disaster". "...and I constructed an eighty ton SHAME BOT THAT EXPLODED THE ENTIRE DOWNTOWN AREA!" He laughs like a maniac. "Well, time to get back to work on my death ray!" He ducks into the Gobblewonker and construction noises can be heard from inside. Raises hand in a grabbing motion. "Any of you kids got a screwdriver?" Dipper takes out a camera, "Well, so much for the photo contest." Mabel replies, "You still have one roll of film left." Hope asks, "Whaddaya wanna do with it?"

Back with Stan driving back towards the shore, he looks defeated and sighs. Dipper says, "Hey! Over here!" He drives by on the beat-up S.S. Cool Dude and both boats stop. Dipper takes a photo of Stan. Stan, startled, "What the-Kids? I thought you two were off playing "Spin the Bottle" with Soos and Hope!" Dipper replies, "Well, we spent all day trying to find a "legendary" dinosaur." Mabel replies, "But we realized, the only dinosaur we wanna hang out with is right here." Stan yells, "Save your sympathy! I've been having a great time withoutcha'! Makin' friends, talkin' to my reflection-I had a run-in with the lake police! Guess I gotta wear this ankle bracelet now, so that'll be fun." Hope asks, "So...I guess there isn't room in that boat for four more? Stan glares at Hope, Dipper and Mabel. Hope, Dipper and Mabel put on their hats. Stan's expression softens, "You knuckleheads ever seen me thread a hook with my eyes closed?" Dipper replies, "Five bucks says you can't do it!" Stan yells, "You're on!" Hope and Dipper climb into the Stanowar. Mabel shouts, "Five more bucks says you can't do it with your eyes closed, plus me singing at the top of my lungs!" Stan replies, "I like those odds!" Mabel and Soos climb into the Stanowar. He asks Soos, "Whoa! What happened to your shirt?" Soos replies, "Long story, dude." Dipper says, "All right, everybody get together. Say fishing!" Hope, Mabel and Stan yell at the came time, "Fishing!" Soos steps into the picture, but only his belly shows. He asks, "Dude, am I in the frame?" Photo montage: The picture of Hope, Stan and Mabel smiling and Soos' belly; A picture of Mabel covering Stan's eyes while he peeks and tries to thread a hook with Hope behind them holding the two steady; Stan reading jokes while Mabel and Soos laugh and Hope shaking her head; Dipper holding his first fish; Stan posing with his hand in his vest; Hope, Stan and Mabel stealing fish from Smabel and her grandfather; Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Stan driving away from the lake police. The gang are on a boat. The boat shakes. Hope yells, "Whoa!" Dipper asks, "What was that?" Mabel shrugs. Underwater, a disposable cameras sinks. The real Gobblewonker swims by and eats it. Mabel has convinced Hope to fly her and Dipper back to Scuttlebutt Island to find another pelican. Mabel asks, playing ventriloquist with the pelican, "Who wants to hear a joke?" Dipper replies, "Not me." Mabel as pelican, "Heh, heh! Yeah, ya do! Here it goes: why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?" Dipper replies, "I don't care!" Mabel, as pelican, "'Cuz he had a very big bill! La la la la! Yuk yuk yuk! Blah blah bloo! Yay! Hurray!" Dipper replies, overlapping, "Ugh, boo. Bad joke. Bad pelican joke." Hope then says, "The things people do for family." This time the code is QWAH ZHHN: UHWXUQ WR EXWW LVODQG. The code can be solved with the Caesar Cipher.


	3. Chapter 3: Headhunters

In the mystery Shack living room, Hope, Dipper and Mabel are watching a show on television called Duck-tective. The shows features a constable and a duck detective standing next to a telephone booth that has limbs of an unseen dead person sticking out. While watching the television program, Mabel knits a new sweater while Hope and Dipper eat popcorn from a bowl. Mabel reaches for some popcorn, but Dipper slaps her hand. The constable says, "I'm afraid your services won't be required here, sir. My men have examined the evidence, and this is obviously an accident." Duck-tective starts quacking, the subtitles read, "An accident, constable? Or is it...Murder?!" The constable yells, "What?!" As the logo for the show shows up, a TV announcer says, "Duck-tective will return after these messages." Mabel drops her sweater and gasps, "That duck is a genius!" Dipper doesn't agree, "Eh, it's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground." Mabel puts her hands on her hips, and squints at Dipper doubtfully, "Are you saying you could outwit Duck-tective?" Dipper says, "Mabel, I have very keen powers of observation. For example, just by smelling your breath, I can tell that you have been eating…" He sniffs the air. "...an entire tube of toothpaste?!" Mabel with her mouth covered in sparkling toothpaste, "It was so sparkly…" Hope: You think you're good? A Wolf Dragon's sense of smell is about 200 times greater than a humans." Soos runs in and says, "Hey, dudes, you'll never guess what I found!" Dipper replies, "Buried treasure!" Mabel replies: "Buried-" She laughs and pushes Dipper playfully. "Hey, I was gonna say that!" Hope asks, "Well Soos, what was it that you found?" Soos leads Hope and the twins to a door and says, "So, I was cleaning up, when I found this secret door, hidden behind the wallpaper. It's crazy bonkers creepy!" He opens the door which leads to a room filled with several different wax sculptures. Dipper shines a flashlight around and says "Whoa! It's a secret wax museum!" Mabel says while fingering Wax Sherlock Holmes, "They're so life-like." Hope shines a flashlight at Stan and says, "Except for that one." Stan says, "Hello!" Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos scream in surprise. Stan chuckles and says, "It's just me, your Grunkle Stan!" Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos scream even louder in fright and run away.

After calming Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos down, Stan says, "Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum! It was one of our most popular attractions...before I forgot all about it." Hope replies, "I thought it was because no one paid to see them anymore." Stan ignored Hope's statement and continues, "I got 'em all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes…" He looks at a wax sculpture of Larry King. "...some kind of, I don't know, goblin man?" Dipper shudders and asks, "Is anyone else getting the creeps here?" Stan continues on, ignoring Dipper's question, "And now for my personal favorite: Wax Abraham Lincoln, right over-" He looks at the melted glob of wax on the floor, which is under sunlight from the window above it. "Oh! Oh no! Come on, who left the blinds open? Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking in your direction!" He bends down and puts a finger in wax and sighs. "How do you fix a wax figure?" Mabel says, "Cheer up, Grunkle Stan. Where's that smile?" Stan grumbles out an, "Egh." Mabel pokes Stan in the face, "Beep, bop, boop!" She then pokes Stan in the eye with him replying, "Ow." Mabel assures her grunkle, "Don't worry, Grunkle Stan. I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!" Stan questions his great niece, "You really think you can make one of these puppies?" Mabel replies, "Grunkle Stan, I'm an arts and crafts master. Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm?" She holds up her arm, which has a glue gun glued to it. She shakes her arm to try and get it off. Stan says, "I like your gumption, kid!" Mabel, with a smile on her face, "I don't know what that word means, but thank you!"

Dipper is drinking Pitt Cola soda and walking with Hope. Mabel appears and shouts, "Dipper! Hope!" Dipper starts choking on soda while Hope performs the Heimlich on him. Mabel asks for her ancestor and brother's opinion, "What do you think of my wax figure idea?" She shows Hope and Dipper a drawing that she sketched in her sketch-book. "She's part fairy princess, and part horse fairy princess!" Dipper looks at the drawing and says, "It's nice, but maybe you should carve something from real life." Mabel showing Hope and Dipper another sketch that she created, "Like a waffle, with big arms!" Hope says, "Y-okay...Or, you know, something else. Like- like someone in your family." Stan asks as he walks into the room, "Hope, kids, have you seen my pants? He poses on a briefcase. Mabel turns around, and her eyes become big, "Oh, muse. You work in mysterious ways." Stan asks Dipper, "Why's your sister talking to the ceiling?" Hope shrugs her shoulders and replies, "It's not the weirdest thing she's done." Mabel is busily working on a new wax figure. Mabel moves back to admire her work, with Hope, Dipper and Soos behind her, "I think...it needs more glitter." Soos says "Agreed." He hands Mabel a bucket of glitter. Mabel tosses the entire bucket onto the statue. Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos all smile at the finished work of art. Stan walks in with his pants on but not his shoes, "I found my pants but now I'm missing my-" He notices the wax figure. He screams and falls over. Mabel asks, "What do you think?" Stan says, "I think...the Wax Museum's back in business!"

Hope is putting up a sign that says, "WAX MUSEUM of MYSTERY GRAND RE-OPENING!" Soos is leading people to see the grand opening of the Wax Museum, using corn dogs as guiding lights. He takes a bite out of one, and continues to lead people. Dipper is working in the stand with Wendy. Dipper says to Wendy, "I can't believe this many people showed up." Wendy replies, "I know, right? Your uncle probably bribed them or something." Dipper says, "He bribed me." He holds up a dollar. Wendy also holds up a dollar. They both laugh. Stan clears throat over the microphone, "You all know me, folks! Town darling, "Mr. Mystery." Please, ladies, control yourselves!" Three women in the audience are staring blankly ahead, flies swarming around them. Stan continues, "As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world, has never known. But enough about me. Behold...me!" He uncovers Wax Stan. Soos makes a fanfare sound on his keyboard, then makes a "Yeah! Ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-ah!" sound. Two people in the audience politely clap and someone coughs. Stan also says, "And now a word from our own Mabelangelo!" Mabel replies, "It's Mabel." She takes the microphone. "Thank you for coming! I made this sculpture with my own two hands!" She throws up her arms. "It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids!" The audience replies with, "Ugh! Ew!" Mabel chuckles, "Yeah. I will now take questions!" She points to McGucket. "You there!" Old Man McGucket says, "Old Man McGucket, local kook. Are the wax figures alive? And follow-up question, can I survive the wax-man uprising?" As he introduces himself, we see a bald man in a futuristic outfit, who seems to disappear. Mabel replies, "Um...Yes! Next question!" She points to Toby Determined. Toby Determined says while holding a turkey baster as if it is a microphone, "Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper. Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?" Stan says, "Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby." Toby says, "It certainly is." Hope steps in and says, "Next question." She points to Shandra Jimenez. She says, "Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter. Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event." She shows flyer. "Is this true?" The flyer is a pizza with googly eyes and Stan's fez on it as it says in the speech bubble, "FREE PIZZA!" with a footnote that says, "WITH ADMISSION TO THE GRAND UNVEILING AT THE MYSTERY SHACK. The audience members yell in an uproar, "That's what I heard! Come on! What a rip-off! Pizza? I want my pizza!" Stan says, "That was a typo. Good night, everyone!" He uses a smoke bomb to escape, taking the admission fee with him. The members of the audience, leave furiously. The Pizza Guy sadly walks off. Manly Dan punches a pole while yelling, "In your face!" Mabel says, "I think that went well." She leans on the admission table.

At the Mystery Shack, where Stan is counting the money he got. Stan says, "Hot pumpkin pie! Look at all this cash! And I owe it all to one person, this guy!" He points to Wax Stan. Mabel jokingly punches Stan. Stan shouts, "Ooh!" He noogies her. "Yeah, you too, ya little gremlin. Now you three wash up. We got another long day of fleecing rubes tomorrow. Go, go!" He sighs and says, "Kids" Duck-tective is on as the Constable says, "Well, Duck-tective, it seems you've really quacked the case." Duck-tective quacking, the subtitles read, "Don't patronize me." Stan laughs and says, "Stupid duck! Well, I'm gonna use the john. You need anything?" He laughs. "I love this guy! Don't you go nowhere." Hope, Dipper and Mabel are in the upstairs bathroom brushing their teeth. Mabel asks, "Hope, Dipper, you wanna do a toothbrush race?" Dipper replies, "Okay." Hope answers, "I don't want toothpaste getting in my fur." Stan screams, "No...No...No!" Hope, Dipper and Mabel look at each other and go downstairs. Stan shouts, "Wax Stan! He's been...m-murdered!" Hope and the twins look down to see Wax Stan with his head missing. The clock bongs three times. Mabel faints as Hope and Dipper catch her.

Gompers is outside of the shack looking at the police car while grazing. Inside of the shack, Stan is explaining the situation to the police officers, "I got up to use the john, right? And when I come back, blammo! He's headless!" Mabel yells out, "My expert handcrafting...besmirched." She repeats, sounding more like crying, "Besmirched!" Dipper asks, "Who would do something like this?" Deputy Durland asks his partner, "What's your opinion, Sheriff Blubs?" Sheriff Blubs answers, "Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts...this case is unsolvable." Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Stan all ask at the same time, "What?!" Stan yells at the sheriff, "You take that back, Sheriff Blubs!" Dipper responds, "You're kidding, right? There must be evidence, motives. You know, I could help if you want." Mabel agrees, "He's really good. He figured out who was eating our tin cans!" Hope said, "All signs pointed to Gompers, the goat." Stan agrees, "Yeah, yeah! Let the boy help. He's got a little brain up in his head." Blubs says, "Oooh! Would you look at what we got here! City boy thinks he's gonna solve a mystery with his fancy computer phone!" Durland yells out "City boy! City boy!" Blubs says, "You are adorable!" Dipper asks, "Adorable?" Blubs and Durland laugh. Blubs says, "Look, P.J.'s, how about you leave the investigating to the grown-ups, okay?" An officer says over Blub's walkie talkie, "Attention, all units. Steve is about to fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth. Repeat, an entire cantaloupe!" Durland yells out, "It's a 23-16!" Blubs yells, "Let's move!" Durland and Blubs run off laughing. Dipper yells out, "That's it! Mabel, you, Hope and I are going to find the jerk who did this, and get back that head. Then we'll see who's adorable." His seriousness ends when he does an adorable sneeze. Mabel says, "Aww, you sneeze like a kitten!" Hope replies, "Actually, more like a baby panda, but cute all the same." Dipper glares at them.

The next morning. Hope, Dipper and Mabel are studying the crime scene surrounded by toilet paper with 'Crime scene, do not enter' written on it. Dipper says, "Wax Stan has lost his head and it's up to us to find it." Mabel takes some pictures. Dipper also says, "There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling." He looks at the bulletin board with pictures of suspects. "The murderer could have been anyone." Mabel agrees, "Yeah! Even us!" Dipper says, "In this town, anything is possible. Ghosts, zombies, it could be months before we find our first clue." Mabel says, "Hey, look! A clue." There are shoeprints in the carpet. Hope asks, "How did we not notice that before?" Dipper says, "Footprints in the shag carpet!" Mabel says, "That's weird. They've got a hole in them." Hope says, "And they're leading to…" There's an ax on the floor. Hope, Dipper and Mabel gasp, then look at each other. Hope and the twins are now in the gift shop with Soos. Dipper asks Soos, "So, what do you think?" Soos says, "In my opinion: this is an ax." Hope replies, "We know that. We're asking how you think this is related to the case." Mabel then says, "Wait a minute. The lumberjack!" Hope, Dipper and Mabel all shout at the same time, "Of course!" Flashback to Manly Dan punching the pole. Manly Dan yells, "In your face!" Back in the present, Dipper says, "He was furious when he didn't get that free pizza." Mabel yells, "Furious enough, for murder!" Soos says, "Oh, you mean Manly Dan. Yeah, he hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint downtown." Hope says, "Then that's where we're going." Soos cuts in, "Dude, this is awesome. You three are like: The Mystery Trio!" Dipper replies, "Don't call us that." Hope, Dipper and Mabel walk outside. Stan is pulling a coffin out of his car and he asks, "Hey, give me a hand with this coffin, will ya? I'm doin' a memorial service for wax Stan. Something small, but classy." He pulls the coffin out of the car. Dipper replies, "Sorry, Grunkle Stan, but we have got a big break in the case!" Mabel yells, "Break in the case!" Hope says, "We're heading to the town right now to interrogate the murderer." Mabel also says, "We have an axe!" She shows Stan the ax in Dipper's bag and makes a horror movie screeching sound. "REE, REE, REE!" Stan thinks for a second and says, "Hm, it seem like the kind of thing that responsible parents wouldn't want you to do...Good thing I'm an uncle. Avenge me, Hope and kids! AVENGE ME!"

Now at the town, Hope, Dipper and Mabel are sneaking behind a dumpster near the Skull Fracture. Dipper says, "This is the place." He gasp when the bouncer, named Tats, looks at him. He asks Mabel, "Got the fake IDs?" Mabel gives him and Hope one. Hope says after looking at her ID, "Here goes nothing." Tats looks at an ID card and says, "Sorry, but we don't serve miners." A miner yells, "Dang'nab it!" He spits on the road and walks off while grunting, "Eugh!" Mabel says as she, Hope and Dipper walk up, "We're here to interrogate Manly Dan the lumberjack for the murder of wax Stan." She, Hope and Dipper show their fake ID cards. Dipper's says: SIR DIPPINGSAUSE AGE: 45. Mabel's says: LADY MABELTON AGE: 21. Hope's says: PRINCESS HOPE AGE: 603. Mabel jingles her ID while making a funny noise, "Dedledle-e." Tats looks at the cards and says, "Works for me." He opens door for the twins. Men are fighting inside the Skull Fracture. Hope, Dipper and Mabel walk inside and look around. Hope motions for Dipper and Mabel to follow her. After walking over a body, Mabel says, "He's resting." Dipper says to Mabel, "Alright, let's just try to blend in, ok?" Mabel says back to Dipper, "You got it, Dippingsauce." She climbs onto a chair and talks to a man. "Hey there, fellow restaurant patron!" She pats his arm. "Bap!" The biker growls. Manly Dan is playing an arm wrestling game shouting, "AGH!" Hope and Dipper walk up to him and Hope says to him. "Manly Dan, just the guy we wanted to see. Where were you last night?" Manly Dan replies, "Punchin' the clock." Hope says, "You were at work." Manly Dan shouts, "No, I was punchin' that clock!" He points to a broken clock outside. Dipper looks at the clock and says, "10 o'clock, the time of the murder. So, I guess you've never seen this before?" He pulls out the axe from his bag and shows it to Manly Dan. Manly Dan yells, "Listen little girl!" Dipper tries to defend himself, "Hey, actually I'm a-" Manly Dan cuts him off by yelling, "-I wouldn't pick my teeth with that ax. It's left handed! I only use my right hand, the MANLY HAND!" He rips the machine's arm off and beats the machine with it. Tyler Cutebiker is now behind Manly Dan as he chants, "Get 'im! Get 'im!" He then giggles. Dipper looks at the axe and says to himself, "Left handed…" Hope then looks at Dipper and says, "I wonder…" Mabel and Biker are looking at cootie catcher Mabel is counting off with, "3, 4, 5, 6." Mabel opens the flap and gasps, "Your wife is gonna be beautiful." The biker pumps his arm and replies, "Yes!" Dipper shows up and he says, "Mabel, big break in the case!" Hope also shows up and says, "Let's move!" Hope, Dipper and Mabel leave as the biker asks, "But will she love me?!"

Dipper says to Mabel, "It's a left handed ax." He shows her a list. "These are all our suspects. Manly Dan is right handed, that means all we have to do is find our left handed suspect and we've got our killer." Mabel replies, "Oh man, we are on fire today!" She raises her hands while using her fingers like guns and shouts, "Pa-zow, Pa-zow, Pa-zow!" Hope then says, "Let's find that murderer." She fist bumps Dipper and Mabel. We now go through a montage. Cut to Mabel waving at McGucket. He has a baby alligator on his right hand as he waves back to her. Dipper lists McGucket as right handed. Cut to Dipper wearing a fake mustache and carrying a package to Pizza Guy's house. Pizza Man signs Dipper's form with his right hand and gets excited, only for Dipper to take the package and leave. He is listed as right handed. Cut to Hope whistling to the Angry Lady and throwing her a baseball. She catches it with her right hand and crushes it. She is listed as right handed. Cut to Hope and the twins at Mikey R.'s house. He comes to the door with both hands in casts. His name is just crossed out. Cut to name after name being listed as right handed until the tip of the pencil breaks. Dipper gasps and says, "Hope, Mabel, there's only one person left on this list." Mabel gasps and agrees, "Of course, it all adds up!" Hope also agrees, "I can't believe we didn't see this before."

It is now night night as the cops, Hope and kids go to Gravity Falls Gossiper. Blubs says to Hope and the twins, "You guys better be right about this or you'll never get the end of it." Dipper replies, "The evidence is irrefutable." Mabel then says, "It's so irrefutable." Hope asks Mabel, "Do you even know what irrefutable means?" Durland whisper yells, "I gonna get to use my nightstick!" Blubs asks Durland, "You ready? You ready little fella?" Durland and Blubs shout, "Woo, woo!" They both poke each other with their police batons. Dipper says, "On 3! 1, 2, …" Before Dipper can say '1', Durland smashes the door open and shouts, "Yah!" Blubs enters and yells, "Nobody move! This is a raid!" Toby screams and falls down, then asks, "What is this? Some kind of raid?" We hear Hope saying from outside, "He just said it was!" Durland smashes a lamp and says, "Derp!" After Hope, Dipper and Mabel enter, Dipper says to Toby, "Toby Determined, you're under arrest for murder of the wax body of Grunkle Stan." Mabel adds, "You have the right to remain impressed with our awesome detective work." She high fives Hope and Dipper. Toby replies, "Gobbling goose feathers! I don't understand!" Hope replies, "Then allow me to explain." Flashback to the event as Hope continues, "You were hoping that Grunkle Stan's new attraction would be the story that saved your failing newspaper. But when the show was a flop, you decided to go out and make your own headline." In the flashback, Toby chops Wax Stan's head off. Mabel holds a newspaper with a picture of Wax Stan's head. As the flashback shows Toby's shoe with a hole in it and his turkey baster held in his left hand, Hope continues, "But you were sloppy, and all the clues pointed to a shabby shoed reporter who was caught left handed." Mabel crumples up newspaper while saying, "Toby Determined, you're yesterday's news." Toby replies, "Boy, you're little knees must be sore...from jumping to conclusions." He does a dance while saying, "Hachacha!" He then says, "I had nothing to do with that murder." Dipper yells put, "I knew it! Wait, what did you say? Nothing? You say nothing?" at the same time as Mabel says, "Huh? What? Could you repeat?" while Hope asks, "Are you sure? Could you repeat yourself?" Blubs asks, "Then where were you at the night of the break-in?" Toby says with an embarrassed look on his face, "Ehh…" He then inserts a tape into a TV. It starts playing, and we see him taking a cardboard cutout of Shandra Jimenez out of his closet. "Finally, we can be alone, cardboard cutout of TV news reporter Shandra Jimenez!" He the kisses it. Hope, Dipper, Mabel, Durland, and Blubs all reply, "Ew! Yuck!" Blubs then says, "Timestamp confirms. Toby, you're off the hook. You freak of nature." Toby raises his arms in the air as he shouts, "Hooray!" Dipper replies, "But, but it has to be him! Check the ax for fingerprints!" Blubs checks for fingerprint on the ax and says, "No prints at all." Dipper asks, "No prints?" Durland cuts in saying, "Hey I got a headline for you: Beast and city kids waste everyone's time." Toby, Durland and Blubs laugh as Hope, Dipper and Mabel look at each other, embarrassed. Toby says as the video of him kissing the cutout of Shandra Jimenez continues to play, "Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I was you two." Hope asks, "You know your video is still playing, right?"

Now in the wax figure room, Stan is standing on a stage with a bunch of chairs set up. Hope, Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and the wax figures are the audience. Stan says, "Hope, kids, Soos, lifeless wax figures, thank you all for coming." Soos blows his nose, crying. Stan continues, "Some people might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself." Soos jumps up and points as he yells, "They're wrong!" Stan then says, "Easy Soos. Wax Stan, I hope you're picking pockets in wax heaven." He wipes his eye. "I'm sorry, I got glitter in my eye!" He then cries and runs away. Soos runs after Stan, while crying and saying, "Oh dude…" Dipper sighs and says, "Those cops are right about me." Mabel looks at Dipper and says, "Dipper, we've come so far, we can't give up now." Dipper stands up and walk to the coffin and says, 'But I considered everything: the weapon, the motive, the clues…" He then looks inside coffin and sighs before looking down and saying, "Wax Stan shoe has a hole in his shoe…" Mabel then says, "All the wax guys have that. It's where the pole thingy attaches to their stand dealy." Dipper then starts to out the pieces together, "Wait a minute, what has a hole on its shoe and no fingerprints?" Hope then comes to a realization, "Guys! The murderers are-" A voice cuts her off by saying, "Standing right behind you." All the wax figures come to life. Dipper gasps and says, "Wax Sherlock Holmes! Wax Shakespeare! Wax Coolio?" Wax Coolio asks Wax Holmes, "Wha s'up Holmes?" Wax Lizzie Borden takes her axe from Mabel. Mabel then shout, "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" Wax Holmes says, "Congratulations, my three amateur sleuths, you have unburied the truth, and now we're going to bury you."

Hope and the twins being surrounded by the wax figures. Wax Holmes continues to say, "Bravo, Hope and Dipper Pines. You've discovered our little secret." He takes Wax Stan's head out of his cape. He then says to the wax figures, "Applaud, everyone, applaud sarcastically." The wax figures applaud. Wax Holmes the says, "Uh, no that sounds too sincere. Slow clap." The wax figures do a slow clap. Wax Holmes approves of this, "There we go, nice and condescending." Dipper asks, "But...how is this possible? You're made of wax!" Mabel then asks, "Are you...magic?" Wax Holmes laughs and says, "Are we magic? She wants to know if we're magic!" He stops laughing and yells, "We're CURSED!" The wax figures then yell, "Cursed! Cursed!" Wax Holmes continues, "Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing. Your uncle bought us many years ago at a garage sale." Wax Coolio cuts in by saying, "A haunted garage sale, son!" Hope yells offscreen, "We get it!" Flashback to the haunted garage sale. Seller says, "I must warn you, these statues come at a terrible price." Stan looks at price tag and says, "Twenty dollars?! I'll just take 'em when you're not lookin'." The seller asks, "What?" Stan then says, "I said I was gonna rob you." Flashback showing the wax museum during the day. Wax Holmes continues, "And so, the Mystery Shack Wax Collection was born. By day, we would be the playthings of man." Wax Coolio continues for Holmes, "But when your uncle went to sleep, we would rule da night." Flashback shows the statues messing around the Mystery Shack at night. Wax Larry King flicks Coolio's braids. Wax Coolio says to him, "Hey, I told you to stop that." Wax Larry King says back to him, "Make me!" Cut to Wax Holmes and Wax Edgar Allen Poe in Stan's room while he's sleeping. Laughing, they take a photo. Stan wakes up and asks, "Huh?" Wax Holmes and Poe freeze when Stan wakes up. Stan says, "Eh." He then returns to sleep. Wax Holmes continues, "It was a charmed life for us cursed beings…" Flashback to Stan shaking the empty admission box and putting the wax figures in storage. Wax Holmes continues, "That is, until your uncle closed up shop." The storage room is seen wearing out as time goes by, leaving the door blocked by wallpaper. Soos later comes by sweeping the floor and finds the knob to the storage room. He puts the knob back in its place. Dissolve to the Mystery Shack. Wax Holmes continues on, "We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away…" Flashback to Wax Sherlock Holmes swipes Wax Stan's head off with an ax. "...But we got the wrong guy." In the flashback, Stan grumbles and spits as he begins to enter and Wax Sherlock Holmes slips out; the flashback ends. Dipper asks, "So, you're trying to murder Grunkle Stan for real?!" Mabel then says, "You were right all along, Dipper! Wax people are creepy!" Wax Holmes shouts, "Enough! Now that you know our secret, you must...die."

The wax figures growl and their eyes roll back in their heads. They approach Hope and the kids. Mabel asks, "What do we do, what do we do?" Dipper replies, "I don't know!" Hope yells, "Get behind me, kids!" They get behind Hope as she raises her wings and bears her teeth in defense. Hope, Dipper and Mabel throw stuff on a table behind them at the wax figures. Dipper throws a full coffee maker at them. It lands on Wax Genghis Khan who starts to melt, screaming. Hope the says, "Wait a minute. They're wax!" Mabel also says, "That's it! We can melt them with hotty melty things!" Dipper and Mabel grab the electric candles behind them and smile as Hope has a ball of fire in her dragon tail. Dipper threatens, "Anyone move and we'll melt you into candles!" Mabel adds in, "Decorative candles!" Hope yells at the wax figures, "No one threatens my family and gets away with it!" Wax Holmes asks, "You really think you can defeat us?" Dipper replies, "I-I don't really know. I'm not-I'm not really sure." Mabel replies, "It's worth a shot, I guess." Hope replies, "Maybe. I mean, why not?" Wax Holmes says, "So be it…" He says to the wax figures, "Attack!"

The figures begin closing in on Hope and the twins. Wax Lizzie Borden swings her ax at Mabel, but accidentally decapitates Wax Robin Hood. Mabel walks around her, but Wax Shakespeare sneaks up behind her. Mabel cuts off his hands with the candles, and he runs away. Wax Shakespeare's hands still move, and begin strangling Mabel. Mabel walks over to a door, and repeatedly smashes it on it's fingers. Hope throws a fireball at Wax Edgar Allen Poe, and he explodes into a wax mess. She grabs the axe from Wax Lizzie Borden and chops off her head. Dipper says, "Interview this, Larry King!" He decapitates Wax Larry King with candle. Wax Larry King shouts, "My neck! My beautiful neck!" Wax Groucho Marx touches candle and his hand begins to melt and screams, "Eh!" Dipper says, "Jokes on you, Groucho!" He cuts Groucho in half using candle. Wax Groucho Marx says as the top half of his body slides off of the lower half, "I've heard about a cutting remark but this is ridiculous! Hey, why is there nothing in my hand?" Wax Genghis Khan runs at Dipper, but Dipper dodges and he runs right into the fireplace. Dipper says, "Ha, Genghis Khan! You fell harder than the...uh...I don't know, uh, Jin Dynasty? Heh. Yeah. Alright." He gets up and runs back into the fight. Mabel swings around Wax Coolio's head while getting overwhelmed by wax figures. Wax Coolio says, "Ow ow ow ow! What's up with that?" Mabel yells, "Dipper! Watch out!" Dipper cuts Wax Richard Nixon's leg, and sees Wax Sherlock Holmes approach him.  
Wax Holmes says, "Alright. Let's get this taken care of." He puts Wax Stan's head on the horn of a rhino on the wall, and grabs a sword hanging on the wall. He then swings it at Dipper, smacking the candle out of his hand, and breaking it. He swings the sword above his head, and aims it at Dipper. Wax Holmes brings the sword on Dipper, but is blocked by an unseen weapon. Wax Holmes looks to see Hope on her hind legs with a sword made out of her fire in her paws, snarling and bearing her sharp teeth as she yells, "I will not let you hurt my family!" Wax Sherlock keeps attacking, while Hope blocks and is pushed back. Hope is pushed back into the Attic Floor, and is cornered by Wax Holmes against the wall. Wax Holmes says, "Once your family is out of the way, we'll rule the night once more!" Hope looks at the window, and, just when Sherlock brings the sword down, she pushes him out of the way with her wings and climbs out the window shouting, "Don't count on it!" Wax Holmes shouts back at Hope, "Come back here, you beast!" Hope climbs onto the Mystery Shack sign and Wax Holmes follows her. She knows she can fly out of the way, but she worries that if she does, Wax Holmes will go back to hurt Dipper and Mabel, and she wasn't gonna let anything hurt them. Hope slowly walks across the sign, while Wax Holmes swings the sword at her. They clash between fire sword and steel sword while trying to maintain balance. Wax Holmes tries to hit Hope with it's sword, but Hope jumps back, and the "S" in "Shack" falls off. Wax Holmes asks Hope, "You really think you can outwit me creature? I'm Sherlock bleeding Holmes! Have you seen my magnifying glass?! It's enormous!" Hope yells at Wax Holmes, "Let's not go there!" She absorbs the fire sword and begins to climbs off the sign, and behind it. She hides behind the chimney and looks out to see is Wax Sherlock is there. She senses him near her, and as she's about to attack, she hears a voice cry out, "Hope!" Hope looks from behind the chimney to see Dipper had gotten to the roof and she cries out to him, "Dipper! Get back to Mabel!" Wax Holmes takes this opportunity and kicks her down. He raises his sword and asks, "Any last words?" Hope looks behind him and she smiles and asks, "You got any sunscreen?" Wax Holmes asks, confused, "Got any-? What?" He turns and sees the sun starting to rise and gasps. "No." He begins to melt. Dipper gets next to Hope and says, "You know, letting Hope lead you outside? Probably not your sharpest decision." Wax Holmes shouts while continuing to melt, "Outsmarted by a wolf-dragon hybrid and a child in short pants! No!" He starts melting faster. "Fiddlesticks! Humbugs! Tiiter, total kerfuffle. Butter hullabaloo." Everything but his face melts. Dipper says, "Case closed!" He wipes his hands together and the dust makes him sneeze. Wax Holmes laughs, "Ha ha ha! You sneeze like a kitten! Those policemen were right, you're adorable! Adorable!" He falls off the roof and then splashes. Dipper replies, "E-ew."

Dipper looks toward Hope. With her teeth bared she asks, "Dipper, what were you thinking? You could have been killed!" Dipper defends himself, "Hey! Remember the start of the summer? The three of us can handle anything, remember?" Hope sighs and hugs Dipper while saying, "Sorry, I just want you and Mabel to be safe." Dipper sighs and nods, understanding how important he and Mabel are to Hope. Mabel is now throwing the remaining parts of the wax figures into the fireplace. Wax Shakespeare's head is the only noticeable wax figure left. Wax Shakespeare says, "Though our group be left in twain, man of wax shall rise again!" Mabel asks him, "Y'know any limericks?" Wax Shakespeare says, "Uh...there once was a dude from Kentucky…" Mabel says, "Nope!" She throws his head into the fire. Hope and Dipper enter. Mabel yells, "Hope! Dipper! You're okay! You solved the mystery after all." Dipper pulls up a chair and takes Wax Stan's head off the wall and says, "I couldn't have done it without my sidekicks." Mabel says, "No offense Dipper, but you and I are the sidekicks." Hope agrees, "And I'm the hero." Dipper asks, "What? Says who? Have people been saying that? Have you heard that?" Stan walks in and shouts, "Hot Belgian waffles! What happened to my parlor!?" Mabel replies, "Your wax figures turned out to be evil, so we fought them to the death!" Dipper replies, "I decapitated Larry King." Hope replies, "I murdered Sherlock Holmes." Stan laughs and says, "You guys and your imaginations!" Dipper says, "On the bright side, though, look what we found." He hands Stan Wax Stan's head. Stan shouts in happiness, "My head! Ha ha! I missed this guy! You done good kids! Alright, line up for some affectionate noogie-ing." Dipper replies, "Oh I'm not so sure about that. Is there any other alternative...?" Mabel replies, "Oh uh...I'm not so sure…" Hope replies, "I'll hold them down!" Stan laughs and noogies Dipper and Mabel. Hope, Dipper, and Mabel laugh as Blubs and Durland drive up to the window. Blubs asks Dipper, "Solved the case yet, boy? I'm so confident you're gonna say no, that I'm gonna take a long, slow sip from my cup of coffee." He takes a long, slow sip. Dipper says, "Actually, the answer is yes." Blubs stutters, "Blu blu blu-" He then spits coffee in Durland's face. Durland screams and spits coffee in Blubs' face. Blubs screams and spits coffee in Durland's face. Durland screams and spits coffee in Blubs' face. Blubs yells, "It burns! It burns!" as Durland yells, "My eyes!" They drive away, screaming. Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Stan laugh. Stan yells, "They got scalded!" A crash is heard. Dipper asks Mabel, "So, did you get rid of all the wax figures?" Mabel replies, "I am ninety-nine percent sure that I did!" Hope replies, "Good enough for me!" We move over to a vent and we see Wax Larry King's head. Wax Larry King laughs and then asks, "Huh?" as a rat walks up to him. Wax Larry King says, "So you're a rat. Tell me about that." The rat rips off his ear and runs off. Wax Larry King shouts, "Hey, get back here!" He hops after it. "I'm hopping! I'm hopping after a rat that stole my ear!"

We are now in the living room with Mabel having difficulty choosing between two sweaters. She asks Dipper, "Hmm. Hey Dipper, which do you think is better? Sequins or llama hair?" Wax Larry King hops to the vent next to her and says, "The llama hair. Llamas are nature's greatest warriors." He hops off. Mabel then says, "Thanks Dipper!" Dipper stops reading and looks around confused. Hope asks, "What was that?" The code this time is, KH'V VWLOO LQ WKH YHQWV. This code can be solved with the Caesar cryptogram.


	4. Chapter 4: The Hand That Rocks the Mabel

We open to Stan Pines out in the front yard with some tourists as he says, "For tonight's final illusion, we have the incredible "Sack of Mystery." When you put your money in, it mysteriously disappears!" The crowd mutters several positive things about the trick's credibility and Stan's character. Stan smiles at his gain and their loss. In the living room, Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos watching television as the TV Narrator says, "The tiger was badly injured in the explosion, but we repaired him with a fist." Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos start cheering and Dipper says that the tiger's a hero. On TV, the tiger punches itself. The TV Narrator then says, "Tiger Fist! ...will return after these messages." The TV goes to a commercial with doves flying. Soos says to Hope and the twins, "Hey, look. It's that commercial I was telling you guys about." The TV then shows a sad man who's crying, and a man asks, "Are you completely miserable?" The actor yells, "YES!" The other man continues, "Then you need to meet…", he says in a whisper, "Gideon." Dipper asks, "Gideon?" Mabel then asks, "What makes him so special?" As if he heard Mabel, the guy replies, "He's a psychic." Hope then asks, as her canine side is intrigued, "Aroo?" The man continues, "So don't waste your time with other so-called "man of mystery."" The screen shows a clip of Stan coming out of an outhouse and is stamped with the word "FRAUD." The man then says, "Learn about tomorrow tonight at Gideon's Tent of Telepathy." Another man says while speeding through subtext for Commercial, "Void where prohibited, no C.O.D.'s accepted. Carla I've always loved you but never had the guts to say it." Mabel says, intrigued, "Wow, I'm getting all curiousy inside!" Stan walks in and says, "Well, don't get too curiousy. Ever since that monster Gideon rolled into town, I've had nothin' but trouble." Flashback to Grunkle Stan driving in a parking lot. He spots an open parking spot and attempts to back in, but Gideon's tour bus pulls in first. As fans crowd around the bus, Stan makes a fist and says angrily, "Gideon!" Back in present Mabel asks, "Well, is he really psychic?" Dipper replies, "I think we should go and find out." Stan yells out, "Never! You're forbidden from patronizing the competition. No one that lives under my roof is allowed under that Gideon's roof!" Dipper asks out loud, "Do tents have roofs?" Mabel replies, "I think we just found our loophole...literally!" She holds up a string with a loop in it and says, "Mwop mwop!" Hope shakes her head and replies, "Where did you get that from." Back on the TV, the first man continues, "So come down soon, folks. Gideon is expecting you."

We are now at the Tent of Telepathy. Bud Gleeful stands at the entrance with a sack and says, "Step right up there, folks. Put your money in Gideon's psychic sack." Crowd mutters several positive things about the sack's credibility. We now look inside the tent as Dipper says, "Whoa, this is like a bizarro version of the Mystery Shack. They even have their own Soos." Dipper points to a maintenance worker who looks very similar to Soos, named Deuce. Soos glares at the lookalike while munching an empanada. Mabel then says, "It's starting! It's starting!" Hope says while looking at the curtains blocking the stage, "Let's see what this monster looks like." The curtains open and Gideon appears on the stage and says, "Hello America! My name is Li'l Gideon." Gideon claps and doves fly out of his hair. The crowd cheers. Dipper asks, "That's Stan's mortal enemy?" Mabel replies, "But he's so wittle!" Hope replies, "His hair is huge!" Gideon then says, "Ladies and gentlemen, it is such a gift to have you here tonight! ...Such a gift. I have a vision. I predict that you will soon all say, "aww."" Gideon makes a cute pose and the crowd says "aww." Mabel says in awe, "It came true." Dipper replies, "What? I'm not impressed." Mabel says, "You're impressed!" Hope replies, "Not really." Gideon then says, "Hit it, Dad!" Bud Gleeful starts playing the piano and Gideon throws his cape into the crowd. A woman catches it, and she fights with other women who also want the cape. Gideon then starts singing a song, _"Oh, I can see, what others can't see It ain't some sideshow trick, it's innate ability. Where others are blind, I am futurely inclined. And you too could see, if you was widdle ol' me!_ Come on, everybody, rise up! I want y'all to keep it going!" Everyone in the crowd, including Soos, Hope and the twins, rises, seemingly unintentionally, and they start to clap along with the beat. Dipper asks, "Wha—?" Hope then asks, "How did he—?" Gideon continues, "Keep it going! _You wish your son would call you more."_ In the crowd is an old woman with a cat on her lap who yells, "I'm leaving everything to my cats!" The cat meows angrily. Gideon continues singing, _"I sense that you've been here before."_ Also in the crowd is Sheriff Blubs, who is wearing a shirt with Gideon's face on it and holding various other Li'l Gideon merchandise as he asks, "Oh, what gave it away?" Dipper says exasperated, "Come on." Hope agrees, "Anyone can see that." Gideon continues to sing, _"I'll read your mind if I'm able. Something tells me you're named Mabel."_ Gideon leaves, and Mabel faces toward the end of her row and moves the popcorn out of the way so that her sweater, which reads "MABEL," is seen. Mabel asks in awe, "How'd he do that?" Gideon sings, _"So welcome all ye...to the Tent of Telepathy. And thanks for visiting...widdle ol' me!"_ The song ends, Gideon is sweating and panting and the crowd cheers wildly. Gideon pants and says, "Oh...oh my goodness." He drinks some water and says to the audience, "Thank you! You people are the real miracles!" Mabel yells out, "Woo! Yeah!" Dipper says as they exit, "Man, that kid's an even bigger fraud than Stan! No wonder our uncle's jealous." Mabel says, "Oh, come on. His dance moves were adorable! And did you see his hair? It was like, whoosh!" Hope says to Mabel, "You're too easily impressed." Mabel responds, "Yeah, yeah!" Little do they know a certain white haired kid is watching them.

Next day at the Mystery Shack. Mabel goes up to Hope and Dipper, her face is bedazzled with sequins and says, "Check it out, Hope and Dipper! I successfully bedazzled my face! Blink!" She blinks as she says this and some of the sequins fly off her face. She then says, "Ow." Dipper asks, "Is that permanent?" Mabel replies, "I'm unappreciated in my time…" Hope asks, "Need any help removing that?" The doorbell rings. Stan yells from somewhere else in the shack, "Somebody answer that door!" Mabel replies, "I'll get it!" She then removes the sequins from her face and goes to get the door. She opens it up but there thinks is no one there. Mabel then looks down and finds Gideon. Gideon greets, "Howdy." Mabel replies, "It's "wittle ol'" you!" Gideon laughs nervously and says, "Yeah, my song's quite catchy. Now, I know we haven't formally met, but after yesterday's performance, I just couldn't get your laugh out of my head." Mabel asks, "You mean this one?" She then laughs obnoxiously. Gideon replies, "Oh, what a delight! Now, when I saw you in the audience, I said to myself, "Now there's a kindred spirit! Someone who appreciates the sparkly things in life."" Mabel replies, "That's totally me!" She then laughs and coughs up some sequins that land on Gideon's suit, bedazzling it. Gideon says in a whisper, "Enchanting. Utterly enchanting." Stan asks, "Who's at the door?" Mabel yells back, "No one, Grunkle Stan!" Gideon then says, "I appreciate your discretion. Now, Stan's no fan of mine. I don't know how a lemon so sour could be related to a peach so sweet." Mabel replies, "Gideon! Aha ha!" Gideon asks, "What do you say we step away from here, and chat a bit more. Perhaps in my dressing room?" Mabel replies, "Oh! Makeovers. Yahoo!" She pokes Gideon's stomach. Gideon laughs and says, "Ow."

Inside Gideon's house, Gideon opens the door to his dressing room. Mabel stares in amazement. Gideon asks, "Ya see something you like? 'Cause I do." Mabel laughs, and asks cluelessly, "What?" Mabel returns to the Mystery Shack with her makeover. Mabel asks her brother and ancestor, "Hey Hope and Dipper. What's goin' on?" She dangles manicured fingernails over Dipper's head. Hope asks, "Whoa, where have you been? And what's going on with those fingernails, you look like a wolverine." Mabel replies, "I know, right?" She roars, pretends to scratch something. She then says, "I was hanging out with my new pal, Gideon. He is one dapper little man." Dipper then says, "Mabel, I don't trust anyone who's hair is bigger than their head." Mabel then says to Dipper, "Oh, leave him alone! You never want to do girly stuff with me; you and Soos get to do boy stuff all the time!" Dipper asks, "What do you mean?" Soos enters and asks, "Hey dude, you ready to blow up these hot dogs in the microwave one by one?" Dipper excitedly says, "Am I!" They both run off while Hope and Mabel stand there. Dipper and Soos are unseen, as popping sounds are made, they are heard laughing as Dipper chants, "One-at-a-time! One-at-a-time!" Mabel then looks at Hope, "And Hope, you never do anything girly with me!" Hope replies, "I'm not one for makeup and girly things." She then goes out to stretch her wings.

With Mabel and Gideon on the roof of a warehouse, Mabel says, "Whoa, the view from your family's factory is nuts! Good thing we both brought our…" Mabel and Gideon say together, "...Opera glasses!" They point their opera glasses at each other and laugh. Gideon says, "Mabel, when I'm up here lookin' down on all those little ol' people, I feel like I'm king of all I survey. I guess that makes you my queen!" Mabel replies, "What? You are being so nice to me right now, quit it!" She smacks him in the stomach. Gideon then says, "I can't quit it. I am speaking from the heart." Mabel asks, "From the where-now?" Gideon says, "Mabel, I've never felt this close with anyone. So, so close." He strokes Mabel's hair and giggles. Mabel pushes his hand away and says, "Look Gideon, I um…" Gideon reaches to pet Mabel's hair again and giggles. Mabel pushes his hand away again and continues, "I like you a lot, but let's just be friends." Gideon replies, "At least just give me a chance. Mabel, will you do me the honor of going on a date with me?" Mabel asks, "A play date?" Gideon shakes his head and replies, "Mmnn." Mabel asks, "A shopping date?" Gideon replies, "Mmnn. It'll just be one li'l ol' date, I swear on my lucky bolo tie." Mabel says, "Ummm. Okay, then...I guess…" Gideon replies, "Mabel Pines, you have made me the happiest boy in the world!" He hugs Mabel. Mabel then asks, "Are you sniffing my hair?"

Back at Mystery Shack, Mabel and Dipper are playing a video game while Hope is watching. Mabel says, "It's not a date-date, it's just, you know, I didn't want to hurt his feelings and so I figured I'd throw him a bone." Hope replies, "Mabel, I know from years of observing that guys don't work that way. He's gonna fall in love with you. If he hasn't already, that is." Mabel scoffs and says, "Yeah right. I'm not that lovable." She shoots Dipper in the game and yells, "Kaboom! Yes!" Dipper then says, "Okay, we agree on something here." The doorbell rings, and Mabel goes to answer door. A horse busts through. Mabel screams. Gideon says while riding the horse, "A night of enchantment awaits, m'lady!" Mabel then says, "Oh boy." At an aquatic themed restaurant, the is horse drinking from a fountain. Mabel and Gideon are sitting together at a booth. Mabel says, "I can't believe they let us bring a horse in here!" Gideon replies, "Well, people have a hard time saying no to me." He puts his feet up on table. A waiter named Jean Luc arrives and says, "Ah, Monsieur Gideon! Ze feet on ze table! An excellent choice!" Gideon then says, "Jean Luc, what did we discuss about eye contact?" Jean Luc says while looking away, "Yes, yes, very good!" He backs away. Mabel says, "I've never seen so many forks! And water with bubbles in it? Ooh lala, oui, oui!" Gideon asks, "Oh! Parlez vous francais?!," which is, "Do you speak French," in French. Mabel replies, "...I have no idea what you're saying."

At the Mystery Shack gift shop, Hope, Dipper, Wendy, and Soos are relaxing at the counter when Stan is looking at a newspaper article showing a picture of Gideon and Mabel together and yells, "Hey, hey! What the jackal is Mabel doing in the paper next to that crazy pickpocket Gideon?" Wendy replies, "Oh, yeah, it's like a big deal. Everybody's talking about Gideon and Mabel's big date tonight." Stan yells in anger, "WHAT?! That little shyster is dating my great niece!?" Soos asks while reading a magazine, "I wonder what the new name will be for the power couple. Mabideon? Gideabel?" He gasps and says, "Magidbeleon!" Stan exits the room while Dipper says, "I didn't know! I didn't hear about it." Hope adds in, "And plus, we told her not to." Stan re-enters, wearing his suit, and yells, "Yeah, well it ends tonight. I'm going right down to that little skunk's house; this is gonna stop RIGHT now!" He slams the door. Soos says, "Dude, wouldn't it be funny if that was a closet, and he had to come back out again and go out the real door?" Hope, Dipper, and Wendy look at each other with blank stares. Soos opens the door and says, "Nope. Real door."

Stan's car skids to a halt in front of Gideon's house. He drives his car up to Gideon's house and skids to a halt in front. Stan yells as he knocks the door, "Gideon, you little punk! Open up!" He reads sign on the door that says "Please Pardon This Garden", and yells, "I will pardon NOTHING!" He then slams the sign down. Bud opens the door and says, "Why, Stanford Pines! What a delight!" Stan yells, "Out of the way Bud, I'm looking for Gideon!" Bud replies, "Well, I haven't seen the boy around, but since you're here, you simply must come in for coffee!" He pulls Stan inside. Stan tries to get his point across, "But-but I came-" Bud says, "It's imported! All the way from Colombia!" Stan says, "Wow...I went to jail there once." He whistles as he enters the house, "Some digs you got here." He sees clown painting and says, "Oh, this. This is beautiful." Bud sits down and says, "Now, I hear that your niece and my Gideon are, well, they're singin' in harmony lately so to speak!" Stan then says, "Uh, yeah, and I'm against it. Nyah." He knocks a pillow off the couch. Bud says, "No no no. I see it as a fantastic business opportunity. Yes, the Mystery Shack and the Tent of Telepathy. We've been at each other's throats for far too-lemme get that." He rips down a picture of Stan on a dart board. "We've been at each other's throats for far too long, yes we have. This is our big chance to set aside our rivalry and pool our collective profit, you see." Stan clicks a cash register and says, "I'm listening."

Back to Gideon and Mabel in The Club, Gideon says, "...And so I said 'Autograph your own head shot lady.'" He laughs. Mabel nervously laughs and says, "Yeah…" The lobster on her plate pinches her fork. Gideon says, "Mabel, tonight's date was a complete success. And tomorrow's date promises to top this one in every way!" Mabel says, "Whoa whoa, you said just one date, and this was it." Gideon says, "Hark! What a surprise! A red crested South American rainbow macaw!" The macaw flies in and lands on Gideon. Mabel screams and grabs the lobster. Gideon says to the macaw, "...two three four…" The macaw asks, "MABEL! WILL YOU-ACCOMPANY-GIDEON-TO-THE BALLROOM DANCE-THIS-THURBDAY." Gideon shakes it violently, and it corrects itself, "THURSDAY!" It coughs up a letter and flies away. A woman says, "Oh, so adorable." A chef then says, "Gideon's got a girlfriend." Gideon says, "They're expectin' us. Please say you'll go." Mabel says as a crowd gathers around "Oh, Gideon, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to say-" Blubs says, "I'm on the edge of my seat." Tyler says, "This is gonna be adorable." An old woman says, "If she says no, I'll die from sadness." A doctor says, "I can verify that that will indeed happen." Mabel looks stressed as the people around them are chattering.

Back at the Shack, Mabel walks by Dipper as he's reading his book and Hope, who is curled up in her bed, watching TV. Hope asks, "Hey. How'd it go?" Mabel replies, "I don't know…" She puts the lobster in tank. "I have a lobster now." Dipper says, "Well, at least it's over and you'll never have to go out with him again." He pauses and asks, "Mabel? It's over, right? Mabel?" Mabel yells while flailing her arms, "BLARG! He asked me out again and I didn't know how to say no." Dipper replies, "Like this: no." Mabel says, "It's not that easy, Dipper! And I do like Gideon, as a friend slash little sister, so I didn't want to hurt his feelings! I just need to get things back to where they used to be. You know, friends." Hope says, "Well, good luck with that." Out at night in the middle of the lake, Old Man McGucket is rowing a boat with Gideon and Mabel in it. McGucket says as he's rowing, "Boat in the night! Boat in the night!" He then laughs. Mabel says, "Hah, you know I thought dancing was gonna be the end of the evening, right?" Gideon leans in and asks, "Don't you want this evenin' to last, my sweet?" Mabel recoils and replies, "NO! I mean yes. I mean I'm always happy to hang out with a friend, buddy, pal, chum, other word for friend…" McGucket asks, "Pal?" Mabel states, "I already said pal, uh, mate?" Gideon asks, "How about soul mate?" Fireworks appear that show the name "Mabel" within a heart. McGucket says, "Well, you can't say no to that."

Back at the Shack, Mabel is pacing and saying to herself, "...I mean, he's so nice, but...I can't keep doing this. But I can't break his heart. I have no way out!" Hope enters with Dipper and asks Mabel, "What in the heck happened on that date?" Mabel replied, "I don't know! I was in the friend zone, and then before I knew what was happening, he pulled me into the romance zone. It was like quick sand! Chubby quicksand!" Dipper says, "Mabel, come on. It's not like you're gonna have to marry Gideon." Stan enters and says, "Great news, Mabel. You have to marry Gideon!" Mabel yells, "WHAT?" Hope looks at Dipper and says, "There are some sentences you should stay away from." Stan continues, "It's all part of my long term deal with Buddy Gleeful. There's a lot of cash tied up in this thing. Plus I got this shirt." He gestures to his "Team Gideon" shirt. "Ugh, I am fat." Mabel screams and runs out of the room. Stan calls after her, "Bodies change, honey! Bodies change…" Dipper walks into the attic with Hope and they see Mabel hiding in her sweater, "Oh no. Mabel…" Mabel replies, "Mabel's not here. She's in sweater town." Hope asks, "Are you gonna come out of sweater town?" Mabel whines and shakes her head. Dipper says, "Alright, enough is enough. If you can't break up with Gideon, Hope and I'll do it for you." Mabel asks, "You will?" Hope and Dipper nod. Mabel hugs Hope and Dipper and says, "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Dipper then says, "Alright."

At The Club, Gideon is sitting in a booth awaiting Mabel. Hope and Dipper enter, approach Gideon, and Dipper clears his throat. Gideon looks at the two unexpected guests and says, "Oh. Hope and Dipper Pines, how are you? You look good, you look good." Dipper replies, "Thanks, you uh...Look, Gideon. We've got to talk. Mabel isn't joining you tonight, she uh, she doesn't want to see you anymore." He laughs nervously and Hope says, "She's uh. She's kinda weirded out by you, no offense." Gideon's eye twitches and he says, "So what you're sayin' is...you've...come between us." His eye twitches again. Hope asks, "You're not gonna like, freak out or anything, are ya?" Gideon replies, "Of course not. These things happen. Bygones, you know." Dipper replies, "So. Okay. Cool. Then again, sorry man, but uh, hey, thumbs up. Huh?" He backs away with Hope while Gideon says in a whisper, "Thumbs up indeed, my friends." Outside the restaurant, Mabel is waiting for Hope and Dipper, who then exit the restaurant. Mabel asks, "How'd it go? Was he mad? Did he try to read your mind with his psychic powers?" Dipper replies, "Don't worry, Mabel, he's just a kid. He doesn't have any powers." Hope adds in, "Seriously though, what's the worst he can do?" In Gideon's bedroom later on, Gideon says while breathing heavily, "Hope and Dipper Pines, you don't know what you've done!" He grabs his amulet and a candle starts to levitate and the light bulbs on his mirror explode. Other things in the room begin to levitate. "You've just made the biggest mistake of your lives!" He throws the levitated objects on the ground. Bud opens the door and says, "Gideon Charles Gleeful, clean up your room this instant!" Gideon yells, "I CAN BUY AND SELL YOU, OLD MAN!" Bud says, "...Fair enough." He then closes the door. Gideon looks at a picture of Hope, Dipper and Mabel and burns away Hope and Dipper's parts of the picture.

Hope, Soos and the twins are outside as Soos tucks a pillow under his shirt and says, "Hit me, dude!" Hope and the twins charge at Soos' stomach and bounce off, laughing. Soos then says, "Feels good." Mabel says, "I'm so glad everything's back to normal!" The telephone rings. Hope and Mabel say, at the same time, "Your turn." Dipper finishes the sentence about a second after Hope and Mabel, "Your turn. Aw, man…" He answers the phone, "Hello?" Toby says over the phone, "Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper." Dipper replies, "Oh hey man. Sorry for accusing you of murder last week." Toby says, "Water under the bridge! Say, we want to interview you about whether you've seen anything unUSUAL about this here TOWN since you've arrived." Dipper replies, "Oh, finally! I thought nobody would ever ask! I have notes and theories!" He listens to the other line. "Uh huh, uh huh." He writes as Toby tells him the address. "412 Gopher Road. Tonight? Got it." In Toby Determined's residence, Toby hangs up the phone, and says, "There. I did your dirty work. Now it's time you pay YOUR end of the bargain!" A slip of paper is thrown at Toby. Toby says, "Ha! Shandra Jimenez's phone number! Bless you, Li'l Gideon!" Gideon's shadow is seen on the wall standing up and leaving.

At 412 Gopher Road, Dipper opens the warehouse door and he and Hope enter. Dipper says, "Thanks for coming with me, Hope." Hope replies, "Of course, Dipper. With all that's been happening, we can't be too careful." Dipper then asks, with his voice echoing, "Hello?" Dipper and Hope look at each other and turn to leave, only for the door to slam shut. Hope yells, "What the!?" as they bang on the door and turn around when lights start turning on. Gideon swerves around in a swivel chair, petting a doll of himself. Gideon says, "Hello friends." Dipper replies, "Ugh, Gideon." Gideon asks Dipper, "Dipper Pines. How long have been livin' in this town? A week, two? You like it here? Enjoy the scenery? Spending time with your family?" Dipper asks, "What do you want from us, man?" Gideon says, "Listen carefully, boy. This town has secrets you couldn't begin to comprehend!" Hope asks, "Is this about Mabel? We told you, she's not into you!" Gideon yells, "LIAR! YOU turned her against me!" He grabs his amulet and walks toward Hope and Dipper. "She was my peach dumplin'!" Dipper asks, "Uh, you okay, man?" Gideon levitates Hope and Dipper and throws them into a pile of merchandise. A toy Gideon says, "Howdy!" Gideon says, "Readin' minds isn't all I can do" Dipper says, "But-but you're a fake." Gideon replies, "Oh tell me, Hope and Dipper: Is this fake?" He levitates all the merchandise. We now go to Mabel outside of the Mystery Shack, thinking and chewing on her hair. Wendy walks outside and sits next to Mabel and asks her, "How's that hair tastin', buddy?" Mabel asks, "Wendy, I need some advice. You've broken up with guys, right?" Wendy replies, "Oh yeah: Russ Durham, Eli Hall, Stoney Davidson…" Mabel says, "I don't know what's wrong with me. I thought everything was back to normal, but I still feel all gross." Wendy continues, "...Pysche Wirley, Nate Holt, oh, that guy with the tattoos…" Mabel then says, "Maybe letting Hope and Dipper do it for me was a mistake. Gideon deserves an honest break up." Wendy continues, "...Danny Feldman, Mark Epston...Oh man, I'm not sure I ever actually broke up with him. No wonder he keeps calling me." Mabel says, "I know what I've gotta do. Thanks for talking to me, Wendy." She runs to get a bike and rides off on it. Wendy takes out her ringing cell phone and replies, "Ignore."

Hope and Dipper are running away from the merchandise being thrown at them. Gideon laughs evilly and moves a cabinet to smash Hope and Dipper. Hope and Dipper jump out of the way and Dipper hits his head on the wall. Hope asks, "Dipper! Are you alright?" Dipper replies, "I'm fine." He then looks at Gideon and yells, "Grunkle Stan was right about you, you ARE a monster!" Gideon yells, "Your sister will be mine!" He laughs evilly and pulls the sting of one of his dolls, making it laugh evilly. Dipper grabs a baseball bat and gets up. Gideon says to the doll, "Who's a cute little guy? You are!" Toy Gideon replies, "No you are!" Hope and Dipper shout and charges at Gideon with the bat. Gideon levitates Hope and Dipper and Dipper drops the bat. Dipper yells, "She's never gonna date you, man!" Hope adds, "She doesn't like you that way!" Gideon says, "That's a lie." He looks at two boxes of lamb shears. "And I'm gonna make sure you never lie to me again, friends." He levitates the lamb shears. Mabel runs to the window from outside and sees Hope, Dipper and Gideon. She opens the door and says, "Gideon! We have to talk!" Gideon looks at her and says, "M-Mabel. My marshmalla." He drops the shears, to which Hope and Dipper let out sighs of relief. "What are you doin' here?" Mabel says, "I'm sorry Gideon, but I can't be your marshmallow. I needed to be honest and tell you that myself." Gideon replies, "I-I don't understand." He squeezes the amulet, therefore squeezing Hope and Dipper in midair. Dipper says while choking, "Uh, Mabel!? This probably isn't the best time to be brutally honest with him!" Hope says, also choking, "Whatever it is you have to say, make it quick!" Mabel asks, "Hey, but we can still be makeover buddies, right? Wouldn't you like that?" Gideon asks, "Really?" Mabel yells, "No, not really!" She pulls off Gideon's amulet and Hope and Dipper fall. "You were like, attacking my brother and ancestor, what the heck?! Gideon yells, "My tie! Give it back!" Mabel throws the amulet to Dipper. Dipper says, "Ha!" He catches it and says, "Not so powerful without this, are you?" Gideon screams and charges at Dipper, making him drop the amulet and breaking through the window. Hope and Mabel shout, "Dipper!" Dipper and Gideon scream. Gideon slaps Dipper and the two start slapping each other and then start screaming again. Mabel, who is holding the mystic amulet while riding on Hope, levitates the two of them and then Hope floats down. Mabel says, "Listen Gideon, it's over. I will never, ever, date you." Dipper adds, "Yeah!" Mabel throws the amulet to Hope who crushes it in her mouth and spits it out in front of Gideon. Gideon says, "MY POWERS! Oh this isn't over. This isn't the last you'll see of wittle...ol' me!" He walks into the dark forest. Hope and the twins look at each other.

In the Gleeful residence, Stan says after he finishes signing papers, "Ah, this is livin', brother." He knocks on the clown painting. Bud says, "From now on it's all name brand foods and clown paintings." Gideon storms in and Bud says, "Well, hey, Gideon! Why, look who I—" Gideon stands on the coffee table and yells at Stan, "Stanford Pines, I rebuke thee! I rebuke thee!" Stan asks, "Rebuke? Is that a word?" Gideon says, "The entire Pines' family have invoked my fury! You will all pay recompense for your transgressions!" Stan asks, "What, you got like a word-a-day calendar or something?" Bud says, "Apbap bap but-but sunshine?" He laughs nervously. "What about our arrangement with Mabel and—" Gideon yells, "SILENCE!" Bud says, "Well, uh, I see that he's takin' to one of his rages again. Eh, sorry Stan, I have to side with Gideon on this one." He rips up the contract. Stan says, "Okay, okay. I can see when I'm not wanted." He grabs the clown painting and starts to leave. Bud says, "Stan, I'm-I'm sorry but I'm gonna need that painting back! Stan? STAN!" Stan yells while running away, "TRY AND CATCH ME, SUCKERS!" Back at the Mystery Shack, Stan hangs up the clown painting and Hope and the twins are a mess. Stan says, "I coulda had it all." He looks at Hope and the twins and asks, "What the heck happened to you three?" Mabel replies, "Gideon." Dipper replies, "Gideon." Hope replies, "Gideon." Stan says, "Gideon. Yeah, the little mutant "swore vengeance" on the whole family. Ha, I guess he's gonna try to nibble my ankles or somethin'." Dipper asks, "Oh, yeah. Yeah, how's he gonna destroy us now, huh? Try to guess what number we're thinking of?" He then laughs. Mabel says, "He'll never guess what number I'm thinking of. NEGATIVE EIGHT! No one would guess a negative number." Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Stan laughing. Hope then says, "I wonder if he's plotting our destruction right now!" She laughs and lays on top of Stan and the twins as they all laugh. In Gideon's room. He's making dolls of the Pines family. Gideon says, as he's playing with the Mabel doll, "Gideon, I still love you. If only my family weren't in the way." He picks up the Stan doll and imitates Stan, "Look at me. I'm old, and I'm smelly." He picks up the Hope doll and mockingly says, "I am an old lizard that will hurt anyone who messes with my family." He finishes the Dipper doll and says, mocking Dipper, "Hey, what are you gonna do without your precious amulet?" He says in his regular voice, "Oh you'll see boy…" He closes Journal 2. "You'll see…" We are now in the shack with Hope, Dipper, Mabel and Soos. Soos is facing away from towards Mabel as she is doing something to him. Soos asks, "You done?" Mabel replies, "Not yet." Soos asks, "How about now?" Mabel replies, "Almost. And...there." Soos turns around, covered in sequins and says, "Let's do this." Mabel turns the light off, Hope turns on the music, and Dipper shines a flashlight on Soos, causing the room to light up like a disco ball. Stan is there, having seen this all unfold. Stan says, "You're all fired." The code this time is: FDUOD, ZKB ZRQ'W BRX FDOO PH? It can be solved with the Caesar cipher.


	5. Chapter 5: The Inconveniencing

Gompers is baaing at the rooftop of the Mystery Shack and Hope, Wendy, Dipper and Mabel in the Shack. Mabel is sitting on a spinning globe. Dipper asks, "Mabel, do you believe in ghosts?" Mabel replies, "I believe you're a big dork!" She laughs and Dipper puts his pencil against the globe, making Mabel fall off. Hope looks at Dipper and asks him, "Was that really necessary?" Stan enters from outside and shouts, "Soos! Wendy!" Soos runs up, panting and asks, "What's up, Mr. Pines!" Stan says, "I'm headin' out. You two are gonna wash the bathrooms, right?" Soos salutes Stan and says, "Yes, sir!" Wendy also salutes, but says, "Absolutely not!" Stan laughs and says, "You stay out of trouble!" After Stan leaves, Wendy says, "Hey guys! What's this?" She unveils a curtain. "A secret ladder to the roof?" Soos says, nervously, "Uh, I don't think Mr. Pines would like that." Wendy reaches out for the ladder and says, "Huh?" Soos replies, "Uhhhhh." Wendy reaches for the ladder again and says, "Huh?" Soos replies, "You're freaking me out, dude!" Dipper asks Wendy, "Can we actually go up there?" Wendy replies, "Sure we can!" She then chants, "Roof time! Roof time!" Hope, Dipper and Mabel also chant, "Roof time! Roof time!" Soos looks out window and replies with worry, "Uhhhh." Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Wendy walk over roof to Wendy's spot. Wendy says to the twins, "Alright, check it out!" Dipper asks, "Did you put all this stuff up here?" Wendy replies, "I may or may not sneak up here during work, all the time, everyday." Hope adds, "And I may or may not occasionally join her." Wendy throws pine cone and it hits a target on a totem pole and she says, "Yes!" Dipper replies, "Cool!" Mabel says, "Me first!" Hope says, "Let's do this!" Hope, Dipper and Mabel throw pine cones. Dipper hits a car and the car alarm goes off. He blushes. Wendy says, "Jackpot! High five." She holds up her hand, and we see the wind blow Wendy's hair. "Don't leave me hangin'." Dipper and Wendy high five. Wendy says, "Oh hey, it's my friends!" A car pulls up and someone waves his hand out a window and shouts, "Wendy!" Wendy says to Hope and the twins, "Hey, you guys aren't going to tell Stan about this, are you?" Dipper zips lips and throws away the key. Wendy also zips lips and throws away the key and says, "Later dorks!" She slides down trees and gets into car. The person from before says, "Let's get out of here!", and he drives away. Dipper says, "Later Wendy! Heh heh heh! Good times." Hope says, "Uh, oh!" Dipper asks, "What?" Mabel replies while poking Dipper, "Somebody's in love!" Dipper says, "Yeah, right! I just think Wendy's cool, okay? It's not like I lie awake at night thinking about her!" At night, Dipper is in bed, wide awake, most likely thinking about Wendy. Dipper then says, "Uh-oh."

Inside the Mystery Shack, Mabel shouts, "Random dance party for no reason!" Hope turns on some music and Mabel dances. Wendy and Hope also dance and chant, "Go! Go! Go! Go!" Dipper writing on his clipboard: I am pretending to write something down. He then nods his head. Hope shouts, "Dipper!" Dipper throws clipboard in surprise and catches it and asks, "Uh what, yes?" Wendy asks, "Aren't ya gonna get in on this?" Dipper replies, "I don't really dance." Mabel says, "Yeah, you do! Mom used to dress him up in a lamb costume and make him do...The Lamby Dance!" She whispers the last part to Wendy and Hope. Dipper says angrily to Mabel, "Now is not the time to talk about the Lamby Dance." Wendy asks, "Lamb costume? Wow, is there like little ears and a tail or...?" Dipper replies, "Well uh, uh…" Mabel holds up picture and says, "Dipper would prance around and sing a song about grazing." Hope laughs and says, "Look at that huge pink bow!" She laughs so hard, she lands on her back and waves her legs back and forth like a turtle. Wendy's phone beeps and she says, "Hey, look at that! Quittin' time! The gang's waitin' for me." Dipper says, "Wait! Why don't I-or we come with you?" Wendy replies, "Ooh...I don't know. My friends are pretty intense. How old did you guys say you are?" Hope, having recovered from her laughing fit says, "You know I'm six hundred and three years old." Dipper says, "And we're thirteen! So, technically a teen." Wendy replies, "All right. I like your moxie, kid! Let me get my stuff." After she leaves, Mabel asks, "Since when are we thirteen? Is this a leap year?" Dipper replies, "Come on, Mabel. This is our chance to hang out with, you know, the cool kids. And Wendy and whatever." Mabel says, "I knew it! You love her!" She dances around Dipper, points at him singing, _"Love love love love love!"_ Dipper asks, "Oh hey, what's that?" He points to the distance. Mabel replies, "Huh?" Dipper flips Mabel's hair over her face, and Mabel says through her hair, "Bleh, bleh, bleh."

Outside, two boys are holding up an overweight teen while chanting, "In the belly! In the belly!" The overweight teen says, "Come on! Hurry up!" A goth looking teen gets ready to throw jelly bean. A green bean hits the overweight teen the belly button. The goth teen and a teen girl on her phone look at the red bean in confusion. They look back and see that Wendy was the one who threw the bean. Wendy straightens up from her throwing position, smiling. Wendy's friends shout, "Wendy!" The African American teen chants, "Wendy! Wendy!" Wendy says, "Hey guys! These are my pals from work, Hope, Mabel and Dipper." Mabel says, "I chewed my gum so it looks like a brain! BLAH!" She sticks out her tongue, which has a wad of gum on it. Hope says, "'Sup losers!" We hear chuckles coming from the teens. Dipper says, "They're not much for first impressions." He points at himself. "Unlike this guy! This guy…" The goth teen strums his guitar and asks, "So are you, like, babysitting, or-" Wendy replies, "Come on, Robbie! Guys, this is Lee and Nate…" Lee and Nate, the two teens who were holding up the overweight teen, punch each other and laugh. Wendy continues, "Tambry…" Tambry, the girl on her phone says while texting, "Hey…" Wendy continues, "Thompson, who once ate a run over waffle for 50 cents…" Thompson, the overweight teen, says, "Don't tell them that!" Wendy continues, "And Robbie. You can probably figure him out." Robbie, the goth teen, says, "Yeah, I'm the guy who spray-painted the water tower." Dipper says, "Oh, you mean the big muffin!" Robbie replies, "Um, it's a giant explosion." Everyone looks at water tower. Lee laughs and says, "Kinda does look like a muffin!" Lee and Nate laugh, and Robbie glares at Dipper. Hope then says, "It's making me hungry." Wendy says, "Let's hurry it up, guys. I got big plans for tonight!" Everyone gets into the car. Dipper goes over to the passenger seat and sees Robbie there. Robbie says, "Sorry kid, I ride shotgun alright?" Dipper gets into the back with Hope and Mabel. Thompson says, "Okay just, before we go, my mom said you guys aren't allowed to punch the roof anymore, so…" The other teens chant while punching the roof, "Thompson! Thompson! Thompson!" Thompson drives the car. Mabel takes a pen from Dipper, crosses out, "You stink!" on her door, writes "You look nice today!". She then says, "Ha! This is gonna blow someone's mind!" Dipper says, "Mabel, please!" Mabel replies, "What, am I embarrassing you in front of your new GIRLFRI-" Dipper slaps his hand over Mabel's mouth, and then pulls it away and asks Mabel, "Ugh! Did you just lick my hand?" Hope looks at Mabel from the trunk and says, "I bet that was gross."

Back at the Mystery Shack, Stan is sitting in front of TV as the TV announcer says, "You're watching the black and white period piece old lady boring movie channel!" Stan looks around and yells, "Hope! Kids! I can't find the remote and I refuse to stand up!" The TV announcer continues, "Stay tuned for the Friday night movie, The Duchess Approves, starring Sturly Stembleburgiss as "The Duchess" and Grampton St. Rumpterfrabble as irascible coxswain "Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire!"" Stan yells, "HOPE! KIDS!" The Duchess Approves begins. "NO! NOOOO!"

Hope, the teens and the twins are now standing in front of the Dusk 2 Dawn fence as Wendy says, "There it is, fellas! The condemned Dusk 2 Dawn!" Lee and Nate say, "Ha! Cool!" Mabel replies, "Neato!" Dipper asks, "Why'd they shut it down, was it like a health code violation, or-" Nate says, "TRY MURDER!" Lee adds, "Some folks died in there, the place has been haunted ever since!" Mabel replies, "This town has such a colorful history!" Hope says to herself, "Can't believe I forgot about that." Dipper asks, "Wha...Are you guys serious?" Wendy replies, "Yeah! We're all gonna die! Chill out man!" She punches Dipper friendly. "It's not as bad as it looks!" Hope looks up and sees a sign that said, 'No trespassing or violators will be DEAD!', with 'dead' covering the word 'prosecuted'. Fast forward to everyone over the fence but Dipper and Lee. Dipper is straddling the fence. Wendy shouts, "Come on, Dipper!" Dipper says, "Okay Okay! Just gotta get a foothold…" Robbie yells, "Dude, your sister did it!" Mabel shouts while running on the ground sideways in a circle, "WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP!" Lee climbs up behind Dipper and says, "Hey, you know what. Just...There you go." He throws Dipper off the fence. "Ha! S-sorry dude!" Nate says, "Good job throwing the kid off the fence, genius!" Lee replies, "Your mom's a genius…" Wendy looks in the window of the store and says, "Wow! This place is amazing!" Robbie tries to open door and says, "I think it's, it's stuck!" Dipper says, "Let me take a crack at it!" Robbie replies, "Oh yeah. I can't get in, but I'm sure Junior here is gonna break it down like Hercules!" Wendy says, "Come on, leave him alone. He's just a little kid." Dipper walks around to a dumpster and jumps up on it. Tambry asks, "Kid, what are you doing?" Dipper walks up the roof to the vents and punches it. Mabel yells in support, "Go Dipper! Punch that metal thing!" Hope yells, "Be careful!" Wendy yells, "Hey Dipper, take it easy!" Robbie asks, "Who wants to bet he doesn't make it?" Dipper walks out the door and gestures for everyone to go inside. Lee says to Wendy, "Good call inviting this little maniac!" Nate says to Dipper, "Your new name is Dr. Funtimes!" Mabel high fives Dipper. Wendy punches Dipper friendly and says, "Nice work!" Hope fist bumps Dipper with her dragon tail and says, "Way to go, dude!" Dipper skips inside after everyone else. Thompson asks, "Do you guys really think it's haunted?" Nate replies, "Na! Thompson are you kidding me?" The sign mysteriously turns from "Yes, we're open" to "Get lost! We're closed."

Wendy says, "Whoa man, it's even creepier than I imagined!" Mabel wipes dust off a change slot. She then licks the dust off her finger and says, "Yep. It's dust." Dipper wipes dust off newspaper. Hope says, "This place was old, as were the people who ran the place." Lee asks, "Hey dude, where do you think they keep the dead bodies?" Nate shoves Lee and replies, "Shut up, man!" Wendy says, "Guys, check it out! You think these still work?" She turns on lights. The teens mutter positive things about the store. Mabel says, "Jackpot!" Dipper asks, "So, what are we going to do now?" Wendy replies, "Anything we want." Hope shouts, "Oh yeah!" Everyone throws food at each other, they fight with bags of ice, then, they sit in a circle and pop mints into a Pit Cola bottle and it explodes and everyone cheers. Mabel runs around a corner, gasps, and shouts, "Oh my Gosh! Smile Dip! I thought this stuff was banned in America!" Hope replies, "Maybe they had a good reason." Hope gets hit by a balloon full of food. She yells, "You'll pay for that!", and flies off. Mabel puts the stick into the Smile Dip. She looks at the stick, then pours the entire package into her mouth.

Wendy and Dipper are eating ice pops on a shelf. Nate says, "Hey come here we got it ready!" Thompson runs and says, "Whatever it is I'll do it!" Wendy laughs and says, "Thompson! Dipper, this night is like, legendary." Dipper asks, "Really?" Wendy says, "Just look around. The guys are bonding…" Robbie and Nate stuff ice into Thompson's pants. "I've never even seen Tambry look up from her phone this long…" Tambry looks up from her phone for a second and then goes back to texting. "Hope is really filling herself up with all the food…" Hope is ripping open plastic and eating food contents. "And your sister seems to be going nuts with that Smile Dip." Mabel says, while holding her stomach, "Ugh, maybe I've had too much. What do you think?" Mabel is hallucinating, she is in a valley that changes colors, and crazy pop music plays in the background. We see a big, cartoony Golden Retriever speaking gibberish. We see another huge and cartoony Golden Retriever asks Mabel, "Would you like to eat my candy paws?" Mabel replies, "Of course you little angel!" She grabs the paw and chews it. Back in real life, Mabel is chewing on air. Wendy says, "You know Dipper, I wasn't sure if you could hang with our crew at first, but you're surprisingly mature for your age." Dipper replies, "Yes, yes I am." He smears ice cream on face. Lee says, "Hey guys! We need more ice!" We see Lee shaking a bag of ice over Thompson's pants. Dipper says, "I'm on it!" He jumps off the shelf and walks over to an ice freezer. He takes a bag of ice, but looks up to see some sort of cooler monster and screams. He drops the ice and closes the door; he gasps and looks back at the door; he slowly opens the door again but the Cooler Monster is not there. Hope flies over and asks, "What happened?" Dipper says, "I think I saw something in there" He points to the freezer. Hope then asks, "Like what?" Before Dipper can answer, Lee says, "What was that? I thought I heard some lady screaming back here." Nate asks, "You freakin' out, kid?" Dipper says, "Uh, no. I'm cool. Everything's cool." Robbie asks, "Then what's all this about?" He points to the spilled ice. Dipper says, "That's uh, um uh...hey look! Dancy Pants Revolution! The game that tricks people into exercising!" The teens mumble in agreement and walks over to play it. Dipper says, "Heh heh, yeah lets all-let's go play that." He turns around and looks at the cooler's door. He then turns around again and walks to the video game.

Thompson is now playing Dancy Pants Revolution with everyone cheering him on. The Dancy Pants game says, "Dance! Hurry up!" Lee and Nate chant, "Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!" Wendy says to Dipper, "Wow. He's really terrible at this." Dipper says, "Heh heh, yeah. That's, that's great." He and Hope look into a glass door, and see the reflections of Wendy, Robbie, Tambry, Thompson and themselves. Their skin, however, is replaced by bones, Hope and Dipper rub their eyes and everything is back to normal. Hope and Dipper look at each other, and they know that they both saw the same thing. Dipper then says, "Hope and I'll be right back." They run off to use a telephone. Dipper says to himself, "Come on, Grunkle Stan, pick up! Ugh, what is he doing!?" Back at the Mystery Shack, Stan is watching The Duchess Approves. Duchess says, "I don't care about Dukes, or Commoners, or His Royal Highness Lionel of Cornwall! I'm not afraid anymore, Mother!" The Duchess' Mother says, "Duchess, I forbid you." Stan cries and eats ice cream. Duchess replies, "I may be a Duchess, but...I'm also a woman!" She takes her hat off to reveal her long hair flying in the wind. Stan yells, "Yes! Yes! In your face Elizabeth! It's just like my life!...in a way."

Back at the Dusk 2 Dawn, the phone is hanging from the cord and Hope and Dipper walking over to Mabel. Dipper says while pacing, "Mabel, I need your advice. We're hanging out in a haunted convenience store, we can't get a hold of Grunkle Stan, and if I say anything about it to any of these guys they'll just think I'm a scared little kid or something!" Mabel makes a gurgling sound with Smile Dip all over her face, clothes, and her eyes small and green. Hope asks, "Mabel?" In Mabel's hallucination, she's flying with crazy pop music from before playing Mabel shouts, "The future!...is in the past! Onwards Aoshima!" Aoshima moves its fists in a circular motion, its mouth opens to reveal a fist coming out of them, and the fist's open out and spit out rainbows. In real life, Hope asks while shaking Mabel, "Mabel! How many of these did you eat!?" Mabel replies, "Beleven...Teen…" Dipper says, "Oh man." Hope drops Mabel. "Oh man, oh man, oh man." Robbie uses a quarter to scratch lottery tickets and laughs. He drops the coin and it rolls onto the floor and stops in front of a white line; goes to pick it up but stops. He then says, "Whoa guys, you might wanna see this." Everyone except Mabel gather around the tape markings of two bodies and talk to each other. Lee says, "Then the rumors are true!" Dipper gulps as he and Hope look at each other with worry. Robbie says to Lee, "Dude, I dare you to lie down in it." Lee replies, "Good idea!" He then says to Nate, "Go lie down in it!" Nate says, "I'm a dead body, look!" He walks over to the markings. Dipper says, "Wait! Maybe let's not do that." Lee replies, "This guy's scared!" Hope defends Dipper, "All he's saying is, why tempt the fates? I mean, I have had experience with this stuff before, so what if this place really is haunted?" The teens says, "Boo! Ah c'mon!" Robbie says, "Yeah, take it down a notch, Captain Buzzkill!" Dipper says, "I thought I was Dr. Funtimes." Robbie replies, "Well, you're acting like Captain Buzzkill! Right?" Tambry, Lee and Nate nod, while Wendy replies, "Yeah, little bit." Tambry says while texting, "Status update: trapped in store with insane 9-year old." Dipper yells, "I'm not a 9-year-old!" He lies down in tape markings. "I'm 13! Technically a teen!"

The tape markings light up and the lights go out. Tambry looks up and dissolves. Dipper picks up her phone, and reads from it, "Status update: AUGH!" Tambry appears on security camera screen and screams. The teens, Hope and Dipper scream in response, and Tambry screams again. Wendy yells, "Tambry! Tambry!" Dipper asks, "Can you hear us!?" Tambry looks around in confusion. Nate asks, "What are we supposed to do!?" Lee shouts, "I don't know man! I don't know!" Robbie says, "Let's just go already!" Wendy yells, "Thompson!" Thompson says, while still playing Dancy Pants Revolution, "Wait! I've almost got the high score!" He dissolves and reappears inside the game. "Uh? What?" The game says, "It's time to shake what your mama gave you!" Thompson yells, "No! So many arrows!" The game throws arrows down on Thompson and yells, "You're a dance machine!" Thompson replies, "No! You're a dance machine!" He then cries. Wendy shouts, "Thompson!" Robbie yells, "Forget them! Let's go!" Hope yells at Robbie, "We're not leaving without them!" The doors close. Wendy asks, "What the…" She tries to open the door but can't. "Guys...It's locked!" Robbie yells, "OUTTA MY WAY!" He throws the cash register at the doors, but it dissolves and green light flies at Robbie. Hope yells, "Everybody, wait! Whatever's doing this has to have some kind of reason!" She grabs the journal out of Dipper's jacket and opens it. "Maybe if we can figure out what it is, they'll let us out of here!" Robbie says sarcastically, ""Uh-uh they'll let us out of here!" Yeah, that makes a lot of sense!" Wendy agrees with Hope, "I don't know guys, maybe she's got a point!" Lee says, sarcastically, "Yeah right, I'm sure the ghost just wants to talk about his feelings!" He screams as he dissolves and reappears on a cereal box. He asks, "W-what?" The Cereal Box Toucan says, "I'm bonkers for eating you alive!" He holds up a spoon. Lee yells, "No!" He screams as a stabbing sound is heard. Nate yells, "Lee! Okay, okay.. I'm with you kid! 100%, man!"

A ghost possesses Mabel, flies up behind counter and says through Mabel, in a deep voice, "Welcome." Hope, Dipper, Nate, Robbie, and Wendy scream. Dipper yells, "They got Mabel!" The ghost says, "Welcome to your graves, young trespassers." He kicks Mabel's legs and laughs. Wendy says, "We're super sorry for hanging out in your store!" Hope adds, "Yeah! Can we just go now and leave forever?" The ghost says, "Well...okay. You're free to go." He opens the doors. "But before you leave, hot dogs are now half off. I know it might be crazy, but you gotta try these dogs!" Nate and Robbie scream and run for the door. The ghost closes doors and yells, "Just kidding about the hot dog sale!" Nate yells, "Just let us out of here already!" The ghost says, "I don't like your tone!" He dissolves Nate. Nate reappears as a hot dog on the stove and yells, "No! I'M A HOT DOG!" The ghost says, "It begins." He makes everything float to the ceiling. "Welcome to your home for all eternity!" Wendy asks, "Dipper, what do we do?!" Dipper yells, "DUCK!" Dipper and Wendy duck to avoid a flying shelf. Hope yells from inside of an ice machine, "Quick! In here!" Dipper and Wendy run to the tipped over ice machine and hide inside and pant. Wendy asks, "What do they want from us?!" Dipper replies, "Revenge, I guess?" Wendy asks, "What did we do wrong?" Dipper says, "Okay, let's try to figure out the pattern here. Why was each person taken? Tambry was texting, Thompson was playing a video game, Lee was being sarcastic; it doesn't make any sense!" Wendy says, "Yeah! I mean, those are all just normal teenage things." Hope says, "Wendy, say that last part again." Wendy repeats, "Normal teenage things?" Dipper says, "Of course! Stay here until we get back!" He and Hope crawl out of the freezer. Wendy asks, "Dudes, what are you doing?!" Dipper yells, "Hey ghost!" The ghost twists Mabel's head around to face Hope and Dipper, then turns the rest of her body towards them. Dipper yells, "I've got something to tell you! We're not teenagers!"

The ghost drops everything that's floating and appears holding Mabel by her hair with a female ghost. The ghosts have tags that say: Ma and Pa on them. Pa says, "Hohoho! Well why didn't you say so?" He drops Mabel into a pile of candy. Mabel screams while falling. She lands in the candy and rubs her head while groaning. Pa asks Hope and Dipper, "How old did you say you were?" Dipper reluctantly says, "I'm...I'm twelve, technically not a teen." Hope adds in, "And I'm six hundred and three." Ma says, "When we were alive, teenagers were a scourge on our store!" Pa says, "Always sassafrassin' customers with their boomy boxes and disrespectful short pants!" Flashback to the day he and Ma died. "So we decided to up and ban them!" Pa in the flashback places a sign labeled "NO TEENS" on the store window. "But they retaliated with this new fangled rap music." Ma in the flashback, hugs Pa and says, "The lyrics, they were so, hateful!" There are three 90's teens, in the flashback, dancing to the rap, which says, "Homework's wack, and so are rules! Tuckin' in you're shirt's for fools!" Pa says in the flashback, "NO!" Ma says, "It was so shocking, we were stricken down with double heart attacks!" Ma and Pa, in the flashback, clutch their chests and collapse, dead. The flashback ends. Ma says, brightly, "That's why we hate teenagers so much! Don't we, honey?" Ma and Pa nuzzle. Hope says, "But they're our friends. Isn't there anything we can do to help them?" Pa replies, "There is one thing. Do you know any funny little dances?" Hope says, "Nope. Dipper?" Dipper asks, "Uh...is there anything else I can do?" Pa lights himself on fire and shouts, "NOOOO!" Dipper reluctantly replies, "OKAY OKAY OKAY! Um...Well, I do know...the Lamby Lamby Dance. Bu-but I can't really do it, without a lamb costume!" He folds his arms, happy to be out of it. Pa snaps his fingers and Dipper is in a lamb costume. "Oh, well...there it is." He takes a deep breath, sings the Lamby Lamby Dance, while Hope and Wendy watch, smiling and holding back laughter. _"Well...Who wants a Lamby lamby lamby? I do! I do! So go up and greet your Mammy mammy mammy! Hi there! Hi there! So march march march around the daisies…"_ Pa says, "Yes, Yes! More! MORE!" Dipper marching and singing, _"Don't don't don't you forget about the babies!"_ He sweats and winks. Pa says, "That was some fine, girly dancin' boy! Your friends are free." Dipper says, in normal clothes, "Well I don't think you have to worry about us coming back, so…" Ma and Pa disappear and allow everything to fall back to the floor and freeing the teens.

Mabel says, "Ugh...I'm never gonna eat or do anything ever again." Dipper says, "Hey!" He picks up a package of Smile Dip. "There's still some left!" Mabel slaps it out of his hand and yells, "EVIL!" Hope says, "I think you're overreacting a bit, Mabel." Lee asks Wendy, "What-what happened after everything went crazy?" Wendy says, "You are not going to believe it! The ghosts appeared…" She laughs. "...and Dipper had to…" She sees Dipper looking at her. "Uh, and uh, Dipper just grabbed a bat, and just started beating ghosts down, left and right, and the ghost got all scared, and ran away like a couple of little girls, it was insane!" Nate says, "Alright! Dr. Funtimes!" Wendy turns to Dipper and zips lips and throws away the key. Dipper also zips lips and throws away the key. Everyone except Hope, Dipper and Wendy are sleeping in the van. Wendy says, "Well, I'm probably scarred for life." Dipper replies, "Yeah, that was pretty crazy." Wendy says, "I think I'll go stare at a wall for a while and RETHINK EVERYTHING. Hey, next time we hang out, let's stay at the Mystery Shack. Okay?" Dipper replies, "Next time? Yah! Let's, let's hang out at the Shack! Yeah…" He gets in the car and says to himself, "Next time…" He gets in the car and sits next to Mabel. Mabel groans, sees the thing she wrote earlier and asks, "What kind of sick joke is this?" Hope replies, "It's yours, Mabel." The car drives away from the store, and the lights go out in the store. Back in the shack, Stan is still watching The Duchess Approves. Stan says, in front of the TV, "Ah, the wedding. I've waited so long for this. Oh, look at her in that dress!" He asks angrily as people on the TV gasp, "Count Lionel? What's he doin' here?!" Count Lionel says from the TV, "I've come to reclaim my bride!" Stan yells, "You had your chance at the cotillion, you!" A man yells from the TV, "You had your chance at the cotillion, you!" Stan yells, "That's what I'm SAYING! UAGH!" Outside, Hope, Dipper and Mabel are walking to the door. The television flies out the window and nearly hits them. Hope shouts, "WHAT THE HECK, STAN!?" Stan looks out the window and says, "Uh, couldn't find the remote." He puts his head back through the window. The code this time is: RQZDUGV DRVKLPD! It can be solved with the Caesar Cipher.


	6. Chapter 6: Dipper vs Manliness

Inside the Mystery Shack, Tyler Cutebiker asks Stan, "I like to get my Christmas shopping done early. Do you have anything that's in the spirit of the season?" Stan asks, "Uh, how about these crystals?" He puts a bowl of "crystals" on the counter. Tyler laughs and says, "Looks like broken glass." Stan asks, "What are you, a cop?" Tyler looks to his right and asks, "Ooh! What is that new thing?" Hope, Dipper and Mabel walk in. Dipper asks, "Grunkle Stan?" Mabel adds, "Can we go to the diner? We're hungry." Hope then says, "Hungry." Dipper and Mabel hit their stomachs against each other three times. Stan replies, "Yeah, sure. Soon as this yahoo makes up his mind." Tyler asks, pointing at a fur trout, "Do you have this in another animal?" Stan says to Hope and the twins, "I'm fine locking him inside if you are." Hope, Mabel and Dipper nod eagerly. Stan clumsily locks Tyler in the gift shop. Tyler is choosing between two shirts of the same animal, "Puma shirt, panther shirt. Puma shirt, panther shirt. Puma shirt…" He pauses. "Panther shirt."

Hope, Stan and the twins enter the diner after a waitress hits a woodpecker on a wall and a beaver in a hole in the floor with a broom while yelling at them to get out. They pass by Old Man McGucket, who has endless cups of coffee, "Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Coffee!", Wendy and her family, and the sheriff and deputy. Sheriff Blubs is eating pancakes very quickly while Deputy Durland uses a speeding device at him and chanting, "Go! Go! Go! Go!" Lazy Susan walks up to Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Stan's table. Stan says, "Lazy Susan! There's my little ray of sunshine! Where were you yesterday?" Lazy Susan replies, "I got hit by a bus!" Stan laughs and says, "Hilarious!" Lazy Susan replies, "Thank you." She then laughs. Stan asks, "You do split plates, right?" Lazy Susan replies, "Maybe…" She makes her lazy eye wink. "Wink!" Stan replies, "Great! We'll all split a one-half of the number seven, plus a free salad dressing for the lady, some mustard for the animal, and a small plate of ketchup for the boy." Lazy Susan writes it down and walks off. Mabel says, "But Grunkle Stan, I want pancakes!" Stan replies, "With the fancy flour they use these days? What am I, made of money?" A piece of money shows out of Stan's sleeve. "Tap tap." Taps it back in the sleeve. Mabel groans, "Awww…" Dipper looks over and sees the Manliness Tester, and says "Don't worry guys, pancakes are on me. I'm gonna win some by beating that manliness tester." Stan asks, "Manliness Tester?" Mabel asks, "Beating?" Hope asks, "You?" Hope, Stan and Mabel burst out laughing. Stan shouts, "He says he's...he says he…" He laughs even harder. Dipper asks, "What? What's so funny?" Mabel says, "Oh, no offense Dipper, but you're not exactly "Manly Mannington."" She laughs. Dipper replies, "Hey, I am too "Manly... Manny" or whatever it is you said." Hope says, "Look, face the music, Dipper. You got no muscles, you smell like baby wipes, and let's not forget last Tuesday's..."incident."" Dipper flashes back to Dipper in the bathroom wearing a towel and singing at the mirror with a comb as the microphone. He sings, _"Dipper Disco girl...coming through...that girl is you…"_ Hope walks into the bathroom and asks, "Dipper?" Dipper yells, "DON'T COME IN! DON'T COME IN!" Back in the present, Mabel asks, "You were listening to girly Icelandic pop sensation "BABBA"?" Dipper replies, "No. Heh heh, I wasn't. It's not important. Look, come on guys, I'm plenty masculine. You see this chest hair?" He brings down his shirt, to show his chest and it shines very brightly. Mabel shouts, "Put it away, put it away!" Stan yells, "So smooth! My eyes!" Hope screams, "Oh god! I'm blind!" Dipper says, "Aw man…" Hope, Stan and Mabel burst out laughing again. Dipper says, "Fine, family of little faith. Get ready to eat your words." He gets up. "And a plate a delicious pancakes." He walks toward the manliness tester as other people eating watch. "Alright, Dipper. Time to manhandle this...man handle…" Dipper stares up at the machine and starts sweating. "And a one and a two…" Stan yells, "Quit stallin'!" Hope yells at Stan, "Don't make him more nervous, Stan!" Dipper starts tugging on the handle and the light starts moving toward the category he belongs in. The categories are "wimp," "middle-aged woman," "barely possible," "man," and "manly man." Dipper keeps on pulling the handle until the light goes down to "wimp." A card comes out of the machine that says "You are a cutie patootie!" Dipper says, "Oh, what? This thing must be broken. It's totally broken, guys. It's like a million years old, probably ran out of steam power or-" Dipper gets pushed out of the way by Manly Dan. Manly Dan cracks his knuckles. Dipper says, "It's rickety man, you shouldn't even-" Manly Dan pushes on the handle with his pinky and the machine automatically goes to "Manly Man" before exploding and giving everyone free pancakes. Manly Dan shouts, "Yes! Pancakes for everyone!" Everyone at the restaurant cheers. A pancake falls on Dipper's head. Mabel and Stan laugh at Dipper. Dipper says to himself, "I need to get some chest hair and fast." He starts running out but is tripped by a beaver. "I'm fine! Heh heh! Everything's fine!" He runs out. Hope says to Mabel and Stan, "I better go after him." She gets up and leaves to follow Dipper. Stan asks, "Yeesh! How am I related to that?" Mabel says, "Come on, Grunkle Stan. I'm sure deep down you have a soft side too." Stan replies "Ha! Nothing in here but a cold, dark, empty soul." Lazy Susan puts the food on the table and says, "Food!" Stan says, "Thanks there, sugar pot. I-I mean, I mean uh honey wasp, kitten baby, b-baby cow." Lazy Susan laughs and says, "Silly!" She starts walking away. "Silly man…" Mabel asks Stan, "What was that about?" Stan replies, "Nothing. I don't wanna talk about it. Talk about what? Why is this table wet?" Mabel says, "Wait just a second. I think I have an idea happening here. You…" Stan replies, "No!" Mabel continues, "And her…" Stan says, "Stop it!" Mabel screams in realization. Stan says, "Oh boy." Mabel shouts, "You have a thing for Lazy Susan! You do have a soft side!" Stan puts a finger over her mouth and says, "Keep it down, will ya?! Alright. I admit it, okay? It would be nice if she liked me. But I've been out of the game for so long I wouldn't know where to start. I mean, look at her. She's so classy." Lazy Susan hits the spinning pie trolley and yells, "Spin, ya dumb pies, spin!" Mabel says, "Grunkle Stan, you are a cranky, gross, weird old man. But we will get Lazy Susan to like you because nothing is stronger than the power of-" Stan interrupts her by asking, "Love?" Mabel says, "Mabel. To victory!" She drinks the salad dressing.

Dipper is now walking down the street and saying to himself, "Not manly enough, stupid diner, stupid lumberjack…" He gets sprayed by water. Blubs says, "Another hydrant destroyed. It's a gosh dang mystery." Durland asks, "Wanna take off our uniforms and run around in circles?" Blubs says with his shirt off, "Quit readin' my mind." They both start running around with their shirts off and screaming in delight. Dipper backs up and bumps into a woman who says, "Oh, I'm sorry. I was looking for the mailman." Dipper asks, "Oh what? Are you saying I'm not a "male man?" Is that what you're trying to say? I'm not male? I'm not a man? Is that-is that what you're getting at?" The unnamed woman asks, "Are you crying?" Dipper tries not to cry and runs off. Now in the woods Dipper is bench pressing a small branch. "2...3...4…" He tosses the branch aside and looks in his shirt. "No chest hair yet." Hope shows up and asks, "Are you okay, Dipper?" Dipper responds, "I'm not sure." He lays on the ground and asks, "Is it physical, is it mental, what's the secret?" Hope shrugs her shoulders. Dipper holds up a bag of jerky that says "You're inadequate!" "You said it brother. I need help." The ground begins to shake very hard and a large roar is heard. Various animals begin flying or running in the opposite direction of the noise. Manly Dan shouts, "For the love of all that's holy, run!" He runs off. A tree begins to fall on the stump that has Dipper's hat, and Dipper runs and grabs it before the tree squashes it. Another roar is heard and the shadow of a creature is seen getting closer to Dipper. Hope bares her teeth and raises her wings in defense. Dipper screams high pitched. "Wait...sorry." He screams on a lower octave and coughs.

A Minotaur like creature comes out of the forest and lets out another loud roar, however it is just a yawn. It takes a deer and scratches itself, and throws it away afterward. The deer soon runs off. The creature looks over in Dipper's direction and knocks away the log he is hiding behind Dipper screams, "Please don't eat me! I haven't showered! In like a week! And, I'm all elbows! Elbows, and gristle!" The creature yells, "YOU...!" Dipper screams and the creature asks, "Gonna finish that?" Dipper looks at the jerky and replies, "No." He tosses it to him and the creature begins eating. Hope lowers her wings and says, "Hey, Chutzpar." The creature, named Chutzpar, replies, "Hey, Hope. It's been a while." Hope replies, "I've been hanging out with my descendants." Dipper asks, "You guys know each other?" Chutzpar says, "Hope spars with my kind from time to time." Hope adds, "It helps build up our strength." Dipper says, "I can't believe it, part animal, part human. Are you some kind of Minotaur?" Chutzpar yells, "I'm a Manotaur! Half man! Half...uh...half taur!" Dipper asks, "So did I, like, summon you or-?" Chutzpar yells, "The smell of jerky summoned me! JERKY!" He punches a tree down and smashes a rock against his head. "YEAH! Ha ha! Heh." He starts sniffing the air and then smells Dipper. "I smell...emotional issues!" Dipper says, "I have problems, Manotaur. Man-related problems." Chutzpar sits down and pats his leg. Dipper rests head on the Chutzpar's leg and says, "Well, my own uncle called me a wimp…" Chutzpar says, "Uh-huh, uh-huh." Dipper says, "And I kind of flunked this manliness video game thing…" Chutzpar says, "Mm." Dipper asks, "Hey, you know, you seem pretty manly. Maybe you could give me some pointers?" Chutzpar agrees, "Very well. Climb atop my back hair, child!" Dipper says, "Uh...okay." Hope says, "He could just ride on me."

Chutzpar runs through the woods with Dipper on his back and Hope flying next to him. He laughs and crashes through a tree and keeps running. Dipper gets hit by a branch and a bird nest. He then yells, "Dude, watch out!" Chutzpar jumps over a gorge and yells, "YEAH!" Dipper screams as Chutzpar crashes through the side of a mountain. Hope flies in through the hole. Dipper opens his eyes and says, "Whoa…" Inside the mountain is a cave full of Manotaurs. Dipper says, "This place is amazing!" Chutzpar says, "The gnomes live in the trees, the merpeople live in the water, 'Cause they're losers! But we Manotaurs, crash in the MAN CAVE!" He rings a gong and shouts, "BEASTS! Hope has arrived with me and this hairless child!" He pushes Dipper forward. Hope yells, "Hello Manotaurs!" Dipper says, "...S'up." Chutzpar gestures to several Manotaurs, introducing them, "This is, uh, Pubetor, Testosteror, Pituitor, and I'm Chutzpar. And you are?" Dipper replies, "My name's Dipper…" The Manotaurs boo. "The...uh, Destructor?" The Manotaurs says, "Yeah. Yeah that's better." They nod. Chutzpar bangs the gong again and yells, "Dipper The Destructor wants us to teach him the secrets to our manliness." Dipper says, "I need your help!" He pulls down his shirt to show his hairless chest. "Look at this guys! Look at this!" Manotaur #1 says, "I must confer with the High Council." The Manotaurs turn around and huddle. "So...teach him our man secrets or what?" Manotaur #2 says, "He's a human; I don't like him." Manotaur #3 yells, "I DON'T LIKE YOUR FACE!" He punches the other Manotaur. The Manotaurs start fighting. Dipper says, "I like these guys." Hope says, "I have a bad feeling about this."

Back at The Mystery Shack, Stan is shuffling cards. Mabel says, "Okay, Grunkle Stan. Welcome to the first day of whatever is left of your life! First, a before picture." She takes a picture of Stan and startles him with the flash. Stan screams. Mabel says, "I never miss a scrapbookertunity!" She opens a scrapbook. _"Deedly dum, memories."_ She slaps the picture on an empty page. "Bleep. Let's start out with some roleplaying." She and Stan look over to see Wendy and Soos, with Soos dressed like Lazy Susan. "Soos will play Lazy Susan." Soos says, "I'm soft, like a woman." Mabel says, "Grunkle Stan, show me how you approach a woman. Remember this is a safe, non-judgmental environment." She pulls out a notepad and pen. "I'll just be right off the side judging you on a scale from one to ten." Stan walks up to Soos and spits to the side and asks, "Can I borrow some money?" Mabel blows a whistle and says, "This is gonna be harder than I thought." Back at the man cave, Manotaur #1 says, "After a lot of punching, we have decided to deny your request to learn our manly secrets." Manotaur #2 shouts, "Denied!" He punches himself in the face. Dipper asks, "Denied?" Hope whispers something in his ear and then Dipper says, "Ok, fine. That's ok with me. Obviously you guys think it would be too hard to train me. Maybe, you're not man enough to try." Manotaur #3 asks, "Not MAN enough!?" He stomps forward. Chutzpar says, "Destructor…" Manotaur #3 asks, "Not MAN enough!?" Chutzpar says, "He didn't mean it." Hope replies, "Oh, he meant it." Manotaur #3 yells, "I have three Y chromosomes, six Adam's apples, pecs on my abs and FISTS FOR NIPPLES!" Hope says, "Gross." Dipper replies, "Seems to me you're too scared to teach me how to be a man. Hey, do you guys hear that? It sounds like...Bock-bock. Bock. Oh, that's weird-Bocock, bocAW! Is that?-BACAWK! That sounds like-BACAW! Yeah, a bunch of chickens!" The Manotaurs gasp, and huddle again. Manotaur #1 says, "I feel all weird." Manotaur #2 adds, "He's using some sort of brain magic!" Manotaur #3 says, "After a second round of deliberation, we have decided to help you become a man!" The Manotaurs chant, "Man! Man! Man!" They continue chanting. Dipper says, "Great! Thanks guys, whatever it is, I will not let you down." Hope says, "Well, be prepared for the challenge of your life." Hope, Dipper and the Manotaurs are now in front of a hole in the ground labeled "Pain Hole" Chutzpar says, "Being a man is about conquering your fears." Manotaur #1 shouts, "For your first man test, you must plunge your fist-INTO THE PAIN HOLE!" Hope and the Manotaurs wince. Dipper asks, "The what..?" Manotaur #2 puts a fist into hole and says, "Pain hole, schmainhole-" He screams and slaps himself. He screams again and runs off clutching his hand. Dipper asks, "Are you sure this is really necessary?" Chutzpar asks, "You want to be a man, don't you?" Manotaurs chant, "Man! Man! Man! Man!" They continue chanting while one Manotaur is punching another Manotaur in the face. Hope says, "Dipper, you don't have to do this if you don't want to." Dipper puts his hand in the hole. His scream is so loud, it causes birds to fly away.  
Mabel and Grunkle Stan are still inside of the Mystery Shack. Mabel says while sitting in chair, "Alright! Let's try to get that inner beauty on the outside. Smile harder." Stan struggles to make an unconvincing smile while making noises. Mabel stands up in her chair and shouts, "Harder!" Stan is still struggling to smile. Mabel says, "Perfect." She yells, "Soos!" Soos appears beside Mabel, holding a sandwich and says, "Sup, hambone." He chews his sandwich. Mabel asks Soos, "Wha'd'you think?" Soos looks at Stan and his horrific attempt at a smile, screams, throws his sandwich in the air, and runs out of the shack, leaving the door swinging on its hinges. Mabel sighs and says, "This is going to take some really great training music." She holds up a CD labeled "Training Mix", puts it in a CD player and presses play.

The music starts, Mabel dances, Stan scratches his back. The Manotaurs had tied a rope around Dipper who tries to pull the 'Party wagon' that Hope is in, but he has no luck moving it. Mabel puts cucumbers on Stan's eyes, but Stan takes them off and eats them, making Mabel stare at him disapprovingly. Mabel is now in the bathroom with Stan, who had on nothing but a towel on his head and blue boxers. Mabel tries to shave off the hair, but it keeps growing back in a matter of seconds. Dipper, with his shirt off, has glue stuck to his chest, and Chutzpar rips some of his hair off and puts it on the glue. Mabel and Wendy are now cheering on Stan as he works on his posture with books on his head while standing on one leg. Dipper is now trying to get across a lagoon that is infested with crocodiles, and one of them snaps at him. Stan is wearing oven mitts and is trying to scratch his back, while Mabel looks at him angrily with a sign that says "Stop scratching". She hits him with the sign, to reveal another one that says "Eye contact". The Manotaurs are forcing Dipper to look at two animal posters. One with an eagle on it says "Glory", while the other one with a lion on it says "Honor". Chutzpar drinks from a fire hydrant. He gestures for Dipper to try, but the force of the water forces him away. Mabel puts a girdle around Stan. Dipper attempts to jump a gorge, but he fails with Hope having to fly down and rescue him. Mabel is trying again to shave Stan, but the chest hairs fill up the bathroom. Mabel raises her hands, and Stan stands straight. Dipper and three Manotaurs let their guts hang out. Dipper tries again to jump the gorge, but he makes it this time, but he falls backwards by high fiving himself. Hope flies to catch him again.

Hope, the Manotaurs and Dipper are now in a hot spring. Hope says, "This feels nice." Dipper says, "Guys, I just wanna say that these last few hours have been...I-I feel like there's really been some growth." One of the Manotaurs with a huge growth on his head, says, "I have a growth!" Dipper says, "Clark, you are hilarious today!" Clark clicks his tongue. Dipper continues, "It's just you guys took me under your wing, and have just been so supportive." Chutzpar makes a hand gesture and says, "Oh, stop." Dipper says, "No, you know what? You really have been. I think I feel like I'm finally becoming a man here." Chutzpar waves a hand and says, "Not yet, Destructor. One final task remains. The deadliest trial of all." Dipper clenches a fist and says, "I've survived forty-nine other trials. Whatever it is, bring it on!" The Manotaurs shout together, "Yeah!"

A Manotaur is now lighting a torch. Chutzpar licks a tattoo and applies it to Dipper's arm. It reads "Rad Dude". The other says "Too Cool". Dipper stands up tall, and the first row of Manotaurs kneel before him. The row behind takes out bones and plays the others' heads like drums. Chutzpar says, "Behold our leader, Leaderaur!" The Old Manotaur hums, " _Rum te tum tum…"_ Dipper asks, "Is he like the oldest, or wisest, or...?" The Old Manotaur raises a hand slowly and says, "Greetings, young-" A mouth comes down and eats the old Manotaur, who screams. Hope says, "Naw, he's just the offering." She points upward. "That is Leaderaur." Dipper looks up Leaderaur's body, up to his head. He sucks in the old Manotaur and swallows. Leaderaur asks Dipper, "You-You wish to be a man?" Dipper bangs on his chest and grunts. The Manotaurs yell together, "Yeah!" Leaderaur says, "Then you must heroic act, go to highest mountain…" He reaches into his chest and pulls out a spear. "...and bring back head of...the Multi-Bear!" He tosses spear at Dipper's feet. Hope and the Manotaurs gasp. Dipper asks, "The Multi-Bear? Is that some sort of bear..?" Leaderaur yells, "He's our sworn enemy! Conquer him and your mansformation will me complete." Dipper says, "Conquer? I don't know, man." Chutzpar looks through Dipper's backpack and pulls out the BABBA case and asks him, "Destructor, is this yours?" Dipper snatches it and says, "Oh no! Ha ha, I don't know whose that is, just borrowing it, friend's, not mine." The Manotaurs say among themselves, "Mmm, I don't know about this…" Hope says, "Dipper, the Multi-Bear is a friend of mine. If you do this, don't expect me to be there to help you." Dipper says, "Uh…" He walks back to the spear. "Hmph." He picks it up over his head. "I SHALL CONQUER THE MULTI-BEAR!" The Manotaurs cheer. Leaderaur spouts fire from his nose. A fire spark falls on Dipper. Dipper puts out the fire. "I'm okay!"

Dipper runs through the forest and cuts up some branches with the spear. He then climbs a tree and looks toward a mountain with lightning going off into the distance. Dipper then drinks water next to a stag and they nod at each other. Now, Dipper is climbing up the mountain. Dipper arrives to Multi-bear's cave. Dipper then says, "I'm comin' for you, multi-bear." Mabel, Wendy and Soos are in the Mystery Shack living room and Mabel says, "Okay, Grunkle Stan. You started like this…" She puts up one of Stan's before picture. "...But you became…" She lowers picture to see Stan with messy clothes and sweat. Stan asks, "Can I scratch myself now?" Mabel says, "No! No, no, no! Is that throw up on your shirt?" Stan replies, "I don't know how to answer that." Mabel rips the before picture. Wendy says, "Face it, Mabel. Your uncle's unfixable. Like that spitting pie thing in the diner." Mabel says, "Grunkle Stan, come with me!" She runs to the door. "And leave your pants at home!" Stan says, "With pleasure!" He walks to Mabel.

Dipper is now entering the cave and asks himself, "What is a Multi-Bear?" Behind Dipper, the Multi-Bear wakes up. Dipper then notices the Multi-Bear behind him. The Multi-Bear roars. Dipper says, "Oh, that's a Multi-Bear." Many of the Multi-Bear's heads are roaring. The main head says, "Bear heads, silence!" He hits the head still roaring. It gets silent after a bit. "Child, why have you come here?" Dipper replies, "Multi-bear! I seek your head! Or, one of them, anyway? There's like-what? Six heads?" The Multi-Bear says, "This is foolish! Leave now! Or die!" Dipper points his spear at Multi-Bear. Multi-Bear says, "So be it!" The heads roar and he charges at Dipper. Dipper runs up the wall. Multi-Bear smacks a pile of bones towards Dipper. Dipper hides behind a rock, avoiding the bones. He jumps on one of multi-bear's head and runs to the top, choking the main head with the spear and making the Multi-bear fall down. He then yells, "A real man shows no mercy!" Multi-Bear sighs and says, "Very well, warrior. But will you grant a magical beast one last request?" Dipper replies, "Uh...Okay." Multi-Bear says, "I wish to die listening to my favorite song." Dipper and Multi-Bear look at a tape player. Multi-Bear says, "The tape is already in there. You can just hit any-" Dipper presses a button. "Yeah, yeah, that's it.: The song "Disco Girl" plays. Dipper says, "You listen to Icelandic pop group BABBA? I-I love BABBA." Multi-Bear says, "I thought I was the only one. All the Manotaurs made fun of me because I know all the words to the song "Disco Girl."" Dipper says, _"Oh, you mean…"_ He sings, _"Disco girl…"_ Multi-Bear sings, "Coming through…" Dipper and Multi-Bear sing, _"That girl is you! Oo-oo o-oo!_ " Dipper laughs and says, "This is crazy! Finally someone who-who understands- uh...Oh yeah. I guess I'm supposed to kill you? Or I'll never be a man?" Multi-Bear says, "I accept my fate." Dipper says, "No!" He pauses and asks, "Really?" Multi-Bear says, "It's for the best."

Dipper raises his spear but it hits the floor of the mancave and he says, "I'm not gonna do it." Leaderaur yells, "You were told! The price of man is the multi-bear's head!" Dipper says, "Listen, Leaderaur, alright? You too, Tesosteraur, Pubertaur, and...I don't know, whatever you're name is. B-Beardy." A Manotaur with a beard says, "It's Beardy." Dipper continues, "You keep telling me that being a man means doing all these tasks, and being aggro all the time, but I'm starting to think that stuff's malarkey." The Manotaurs gasp. Dipper continues, "You heard me, malarkey. So maybe I don't have muscles, or hair in certain places, and...sure, when a girly pop song comes on the radio, sometimes, I leave it on! 'Cause dang it, top 40 hits are in the top 40 for a reason! They're catchy!" Chutzpar asks, "Destructor...What are you saying?" Dipper says, "I'm saying the Multi-bear is a really nice guy. And you're bunch of jerks if you want me to cut off his head!" Leaderaur stands up and destroys the spear and yells, "Kill the multi-bear or never be a man!" Dipper says, "Then I guess I'll never be a man." Chutzpar says, "Boooo! Weak!" The Manotaurs say, "Boooooo! Lame! Boooo!" Chutzpar shouts, "Hey guys! Who wants to go build something and knock it down!" The Manotaurs cheer and leave, chanting "Man!" several times. Dipper kicks a rock away and walks away. Hope says to Dipper, "Nice job, Dipper."

At Greasy' Diner, Lazy Susan hits the pie trolley while shouting, "SPIN! SPIN!" Mabel enters with Stan and says, "Lazy Susan. Listen: I know he's not much to look at, but you're always fixing stuff in the diner, and if you like fixing stuff, nothing can use more fixing than my Grunkle Stan! Also women live longer than men so your dating pool is smaller and you should really lower your standards." Stan asks, "So, Lazy Susan, what do you say?" Lazy Susan leaves. Stan says, dejectedly, "Uh…" He starts to walk away. Lazy Susan comes back with a piece of paper and a piece of pie and says, "Hey! Here's my number. Why don't you give me a call some time?" Stan asks, "Really?!" Lazy Susan says, "REALLY!" She laughs and says, "Also: here's some pie. On the house. For YOU!" She leaves. Mabel screams in happiness and says, "We did it! When are you gonna call? You wanna call now? I don't have a phone. Let's buy a phone! We can put it on a credit card. Let's get a credit card." Stan says, "Mabel! Let a man enjoy his pie, huh?" Hope and Dipper come up to the restaurant. Mabel yells, "HOPE! DIPPER! It's me, Mabel! I'm looking at you through this glass! Right here! This is my voice! I'm talking to you from inside!" Hope shakes her head. Dipper nods and gives Mabel a "Calm down" sign. He and Hope come inside. Mabel asks, "Did you see me through the-?" Dipper says, "Yes." Mabel asks, "What's wrong?" Dipper replies, "I don't want to talk about it." Stan says, "Good." Dipper says, "It's just these half man half bull humanoids were hanging out with me…" Stan interrupts, "Here we go." Dipper continues, "But then they wanted me to do this really tough, horrible thing but it just wasn't right. So I said no." Hope said, "He was his own man and he stood up for himself." Dipper asks, "Huh?" Stan says, "Well, you did what was right even when no one agreed with ya. Sounds pretty manly to me but, what do I know?" Dipper smiles. Mabel says, "Wait a minute, do my eyes deceive me? You have a chest hair!" Dipper checks his chest and gasps and says, "You're right! I do! Ha ha, this is amazing! I really do! Take that, man tester! Take that, Pituitor!" Stan asks, "Pituitor?" Hope says, Don't ask." Dipper shouts, "This guy has chest hair!" Mabel pulls it out and puts it in a journal and says, "Scrap-book ortunity!" Dipper looks down sadly. Stan says, "Don't worry, kid, if you're anything like me, there's more where that came from." He rips open his shirt. Dipper says, "OH, GROSS!" Hope, Stan, Mabel, and Dipper laugh. Dipper then says, "Seriously, that's disgusting." Hope agrees, "Yeah, put a shirt on."  
Stan is sitting on the chair next to the phone. The phone rings. Stan says, "Oh, not again!" The answering machine says, "Message number: 36" Lazy Susan says over the answering machine, "Hey, handsome! It's me, Lazy Susan, calling to say hi: Hi! My cats also wanted to say hi! Say hi, Donald!" Donald says over the answering machine, "Meow." Lazy Susan continues over the answering machine, "Good, Sandy, you say hi!" Sandy says over the answering machine, "Meow." Lazy Susan continues over the answering machine, "Mr. Cat-face, now it's your turn to say-" Mr. Cat-face says, angrily, over the answering machine, "MOW!" Lazy Susan says over the answering machine, "Mr. Cat-face!" Mr. Cat-face yowls over the answering machine, "MEOW!" Lazy Susan says over the answering machine, "Well, anyway call me! Call me back!" She hangs up. Stan asks, "How do I get out of this?!" The code this time is: PU. FDHVDULDQ ZLOO EH RXW QHAW ZHHN. PU. DWEDVK ZLOO VXEVWLWXWH. This code can be solved using the Caesar Cipher.


	7. Chapter 7: Double Dipper

Soos and Wendy are preparing for a party. Mabel and Dipper are sitting on a couch and Hope is sitting behind the couch. Dipper says, "Oh no, Mabel. I-I don't feel so good. I-BLAH!" He sprays Silly String at Mabel. Mabel asks, "Ohhh, Grunkle Stan, what did you feed us?! BLAH!" She sprays Silly String at Dipper. Hope shouts, "BLAH!" She sprays Silly String at Dipper and Mabel. Mabel also shouts, "BLAH!" She sprays Silly String at Hope and Dipper. Dipper also shouts, "BLAH!" He sprays Silly String at Hope and Mabel. Mabel laughs and says, "Barfing!" Wendy runs up to them and says, "Guys, guys, stop! Something terrible just happened!" Hope, Dipper and Mabel stare at Wendy. Wendy says, "BLAH!". She sprays Silly String at the twins. They all laugh hysterically. Mabel throws confetti and shouts, "Comedy gold!" Stan takes the Silly String cans and confetti and says, "Alright, alright! Party supplies are now off-limits." Soos asks Stan, "Mr. Pines, whose birthday is it again?" Stan replies, "Nobody's. Thought this party might be a good way to get kids to spend money at the Shack." He unrolls a "Pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey" game. Soos says, "Nice!" Stan says, "The young people of this town want fun; I'll smother 'em with fun!" Hope is pouring Mabel some Diet Pitt Peach Soda and says, "Maybe comments like that are why kids don't go to the Mystery Shack." Stan says, "Hey, hey! How's about you make yourself useful and copy these flyers?" He shows Hope, Dipper and Mabel a flyer. Mabel says, "Oh boy, a trip to the copier store!" Soos says, "Calendars, mugs, t-shirts and more! They got it all at the copier store! That's not their slogan, I just really feel that way about the copier store." Stan says, "Save the trouble. You know the old copier in my office? I finally fixed the old girl up! Good as new!" Hope says to herself, "I thought I destroyed that thing for good." Hope, Dipper and Mabel are in Stan's office. They pull the sheet off the old, busted up copier machine. Several moths fly around it. Mabel gasps and says, "Butterflies!" Hope says, "Those are moths, Mabel." Dipper lifts the lid up and asks, "Does it even work?" He presses a button, then rests his arm on the machine. It turns on, and creates a copy of his arm. Mabel picks up the paper and shouts, "Success!" She notices the paper shaking and drops it and shouts, "Whoa!" The picture of Dipper's arm comes to life and begins to crawl near them. Hope, Dipper and Mabel scream. Dipper shouts, "Stay back!" He throws Mabel's soda at the arm, disintegrating it. Hope realizes, "Now I remember why I destroyed this copier." Dipper says, "Oh my gosh! Girls, I think this copier can copy human beings!" Mabel asks, "Do you realize what this means?" She pauses and says, "BLAH!" She sprays Silly String at Hope and Dipper. Hope says, "We better leave this thing alone until I can find a way to get rid of this thing for good."

Later, Stan addresses Hope, Soos, Wendy, Mabel, and Dipper who are all standing side-by-side. "Alright party people...and Dipper. Let's talk business. Soos, because you'll work for free, and you begged, I'm lettin' you be DJ." Soos replies, "You won't regret it, Mr. Pines. I got this book to teach me how to DJ R-R-Right!" He holds up a book. Stan says, "Not encouraging. Hope, you'll be head of security." Hope replies, "You bet, Stan. Nothing will get past me." Stan says, "Great! Wendy, you and Mabel will work at the ticket stand." Mabel replies, "What? But Grunkle Stan, this party is my chance to make new friends!" Dipper says, "I...I could work with Wendy." Stan rolls his eyes, "You realize that if you do, you gotta commit to stay in at the ticket stand with Wendy. No getting out of it, just the two of you, alone, all night." Dipper watches Wendy spray Soos' belly with Silly String, smiles, and says, "I promise." Dipper is now standing in front of a mirror in his room putting on a bow tie; he turns to get the spray and sees Hope and Mabel there and screams. He turns and asks, "What?" Mabel says, pretending to be Dipper, "Uh, uh, I could work the counter with you, Wendy! Let's kiss!" She pretends to kiss someone. Dipper replies, "Yeah, yeah. Laugh all you want, but I devised a plan to make sure my night with Wendy goes perfect." He makes a clicking noise. Hope appears and asks, "Plan? Oh, you're not making one of those over complicated lists, are you?" Dipper replies, "Psh. Over complicated? Let me just…" He unfolds a huge list. "...alright, fold that there, kay. Step 1: Getting to know each with playful banter. Banter is like talking but smarter." Mabel says, "That sounds like a dumb idea for poop heads." Dipper replies, "Yeah, see? This isn't banter. This is what I want to avoid with Wendy. The final step is to ask her to dance." He imagines a taller version of himself and Wendy dancing. Wendy says, "Oh Dipper! I'm so happy you decided to work the ticket stand with me; you're so organized. Show me that checklist again." Dipper pulls out checklist from pocket. Wendy says, "Oh!" Back in real life, Dipper says, "If I follow steps 1 through 11, nothing can get in my way!" Mabel says, "Dipper, you're the one getting in your way." Hope adds, "I agree with Mabel. Why can't you just walk up and talk to her like a normal person?" Dipper replies, "Step 9, Hope!" He points to Step 9, which is "talk to her like a normal person." Hope and Mabel sigh and roll their eyes.

The party begins. Stan walks over to Mabel while singing, _"Yadda dee, yada doo, yada doo."_ he then asks, "Can your uncle throw a party or what?" Soos says as the DJ, "The energy, it's electric! Uhh, lightning…" He presses buttons on sound FX machine, making various noises. "Lightning, lightning, lightning…" Stan says, "And if anyone wants to leave, I'm charging an exit fee of 15 bucks!" Nate is counting money with Lee and says, "We've only got 13!" Hope says, "Sorry guys, but I can't make any exceptions." Lee shouts, "We're trapped!" Lee and Nate pound on the window. Outside, Wendy and Dipper are working at the ticket station. Dipper says to himself, "Step 1: Casual banter." He then says to Wendy, "SO HERE'S A CASUAL QUESTION!" He coughs and asks, "What's your favorite type of snack food?" Wendy replies, "Oh, man! I can't just pick one!" Dipper shouts, "NO way! Mine too!" Wendy asks, "Wait, what?" Dipper says, "Uhh...I mean...I mean…" He stuffs a bunch of popcorn in his mouth and says to himself, "New topic! New topic!" He coughs.

Mabel is inside, dancing and shouts, "Go, go! Work it, work it!" He sits down next to Grenda; opens a plastic water bottle and drinks some; she sees Grenda's lizard. "Wow! You've got an animal on your body! I'm Mabel." Grenda says, "Hi, I'm Grenda." She gestures to Candy, in the chair next to her. "This is Candy." Candy waves to Mabel; there are forks taped on her fingers. Mabel asks, "Why do have forks taped to your fingers?" Candy puts her hand into Grenda's bowl of popcorn; when she pulls it out each finger has some popcorn on it, and says, "Improvement of human being." Candy and Grenda watch Grenda's lizard eat some popcorn and laugh. Mabel says, "I've found my people!" Hope says, "Hey, Mabel. You make new friends?" Mabel replies, "Yeah! Girls, this is Hope, my ancestor. Hope, this is Grenda and Candy." Grenda says, "Nice to meet you." Candy adds, "You look interesting." Soos says, "Remember dudes," He is reading from the book. "who ever, um, party hardies, what? Gets the party crown!" He holds up the crown. "Most applause at the end of the night wins!" Candy and Grenda say, "Wow!" A blonde girl walks up to Soos with her friends and says, "Party crown? I'll take that, thank you very much!" Mabel asks, "Who's that?" Candy replies, "The most popular girl in town, Pacifica Northwest." Grenda adds, "I always feel bad about myself around her." Soos says, "I can't just give you the crown. It's sort of a competition thing." Pacifica laughs and picks up microphone and asks, "Honestly, who's gonna compete against me? Fork girl? Lizard lady?" She laughs. Grenda shouts, "Hold me, Candy!" She hugs Candy. Candy says, "Our kind isn't welcome here!" Hope growls and says, "I'll deal with her." Mabel says, "No need, Hope!" She walks angrily over to Soos; pops up from behind the table; and says happily, "Hey, I'll compete!" Candy and Grenda gasp. Mabel says to Pacifica, "I'm Mabel." Pacifica says, "That sounds like a fat old lady's name." Hope growls in the background. Mabel says, "I'll take that as a compliment!" Pacifica says, "May the better partier win." She menacingly walks away with her friends. Mabel says to Pacifica, "Nice meeting you!" She then says to Hope, Grenda and Candy, "She's going down." Hope smirks at this.  
Wendy looks at party through window and says, "Whoa! Sounds like the party's getting nuts." Soos says, "Let the battle for the party crown begin! Mabel comes out strong! Watch out, Pacifica!" Wendy says, "I gotta get in there!" She asks Dipper, "Cover for me?" Dipper says, "Umm...well I, um–" Wendy says, "Thanks, man!" She goes inside and dances. Dipper says to the crowd of people waiting to get tickets, "I'll be back shortly!" He says to himself, "Sure Stan won't mind if I'm gone for a few minutes." He turns to run inside. Stan grabs Dipper by the back of his shirt and says, "Hey! What are you doing, kid? These suckers aren't gonna rip themselves off!" A kid in the crowd agrees, "Yeah!" Stan says, "You promised, remember?" Dipper asks, "I did?" Stan plays a tape recording of Dipper's promise with Dipper's voice that says, "I promise." Stan walks off step by step and suddenly goes back for checking. Wendy says, "Woo-hoo-hoo!" Dipper says, "If only I could be two places at once." He goes into Stan's office, lies down on the copy machine and presses the copy button. He says to himself, "I wonder if this is a good idea." Dipper is copied. The paper with the copy of him falls to the ground. It ripples, and the Dipper clone comes to life. "Whoa!...I have a really big head."

Dipper and Clone say at the same time, "So, uh…" They both chuckle. "Sorry, you first. Stop copying me!" They laugh. The clone tries to slap his leg, but hits his elbow on the copy machine and says, "Ow, ow! Funny bone!" Dipper writes the number 2 on the clone's hat and says, "I will call you: Number 2." Dipper #2 replies, "Definitely not. You know a name I've always wanted?" Dipper and Dipper #2 both ask, "Tyrone?" Dipper says, "Okay, Tyrone. Let's get down to business. I'm thinking you cover me at the ticket stand, while I ask Wendy to dance." Tyrone replies, "I know the plan, buddy." Dipper and Tyrone each pull out Dipper's plan. Dipper backs away from Tyrone and asks, "Hey, we're not gonna get jealous and turn on each other like the clones in the movies, are we?" Tyrone says, "Dipper, please. This is you you're talking about. Plus, hey!" He snaps his fingers. "You can always just disintegrate with me with water." Dipper and Tyrone tap their heads and say, "Yeah…" They tap each other's heads and say, "Yeah!" Tyrone mans the ticket station while Dipper is inside. They give each other the thumbs up. Dipper then walks over to Wendy and says, "Great news, Wendy! I got someone to cover the concessions for me!" Wendy replies, "That's awesome. You can hang out with me and Robbie. Robbie you remember Dipper from the convenience store?" Robbie replies, "Uh, no. Yo, Wendy, check out my new guitar." He plays the guitar. Wendy says, "Whoa, cool!" Dipper gasps and then imagines Robbie and Wendy dancing. Wendy says, "Robbie, you're a stupid, arrogant fraud; but kiss me anyway because you can play guitar. Oh wait, I forgot something." She walks over and punches Dipper and says to Robbie, "LET'S GET MARRIED TONIGHT!" Tyrone calls Dipper, "Hey buddy it's me, you. I just had the same jealousy fantasy." Dipper says, "We got to get rid of Robbie if I ever want to dance with Wendy!" Wendy says, "Hey, Dipper! We're gonna go sit on the couch! Meet us when you're done." Dipper freaks, "Oh no! They're sitting on the couch! We gotta think of something quick!" He sees Robbie's bike. "I got an idea!" Tyrone agrees, "I got the same one. But we're gonna need some help."

Dipper is in Stan's office, where he is writing the number 3 on a third clone's hat and says, "And that's where you come in number three!" Dipper #3 asks, "But what if Robbie catches me? I'll be all alone!" Tyrone says, "Yeah, makes a good point." Dipper agrees, "Okay, one more. Good point. Four Dippers. This is a four Dipper plan." He makes another copy of himself. The machine jams. Tyrone says, "Uh-oh, paper jam." He pulls the paper out of the machine and screams as it comes to life. Paper Jam Dipper rising out of the paper and attacking Tyrone while screeching, "NYANYANYANYANYA-NAAAAA-NAAAAA. AAXUXAASSUAA-AAAA." Dipper #3 asks, "C'mon, you're not gonna make me partner up with him, are you?" Tyrone says to Dipper #3, "SSSHH! Don't be rude." He then says to Paper Jam Dipper, "Hey, buddy hey. It's okay." Paper Jam Dipper screeches, "AAAA-KKKKKKKXXX-KKKKXXX-A." Dipper says, "Okay. Just one more clone."  
Pacifica is now on a stage and singing, " _Always means forever"_ She closes her eyes and sings, _"ALWAYS!"_ Her high voice breaks a plastic cup; whispering and points and whispers, _"Forever."_ Grenda says, "I used to sing like that, before my voice changed." Soos says, "Pacifica pulls ahead!" Pacifica says to Mabel, "Try and top that!" She hands Mabel the microphone. "Oh, and Grenda, by the way, you sound like a professional wrestler." Grenda shouts, "I WANNA PUT HER IN A HEADLOCK AND MAKE HER FEEL PAIN!" Hope says, "I can arrange that to happen." Mabel says, "It's not over 'til it's over, sisters! Watch this." She runs on stage and shouts, "Soos! Give me the 80s-ist, crowd pleasing-ist, rock ballad-y-ist song you got!" Soos puts on Don't Start Un-Believing. Mabel says, "Excellent." She sings, _"Don't start UN-BELIEVING! Never don't not feel your feelings!"_ Everyone cheers. She twirls her mic around and shouts, "NOW I'M GONNA DO A FLIP!" She lands on her face. "THAT WAS FOR YOU GUYS!" Everyone cheers except Pacifica, who looks at the crowd, and Dipper whispers something in Soos' ear. Soos says, "Dudes, would the owner of a silver and red dirt bike please report outside. It is being stolen right now." Robbie asks, "Wait, WHAT?!" Clones 3 and 4 ride Robbie's bike away from the shack and laugh. Robbie chases them and shouts, "Hey, come back here!" Dipper says to Wendy, "Oh, tough break. I wonder who those guys are who aren't me because I'm right here." Soos says, "Now we're gonna bring it down for a minute. Ladies, dudes, now's the time." Wendy says, "Oh snap, I love this song." She sways her head in time to the music. Mabel runs over to Dipper and says, "Hey goofus, now's your chance to ask Wen–" Dipper covers Mabel's mouth. They move away from Wendy. Mabel continues, "Now's your chance to ask Wendy to dance! C'mon! Go!" Dipper says, "Ok, ok." He struggles to go over. "I-uh," He runs away the opposite direction. "Uh, I'll be right back!"

Tyrone and Dipper are now pacing around each other in the attic. Tyrone says, "Oh, I agree. You can't just go and DANCE with her." Dipper agrees, "The dance floor is a minefield, a MINEFIELD, Tyrone!" Tyrone says, "What if there's a glitch in the sound system?" Dipper says, "Stan might get in the way." Tyrone adds, "Robbie might come back." Dipper says, "There's too many variables. We need help." Dipper makes 6 more clones of himself. They add more to the list and each scratch a part of Dipper's face." Dipper says, "Alright, Dippers! Gather round! Now's the time! You all clear on want to do?" The clones nod monotonously and leave the attic. Dipper #10 walks up the Soos and says, "Hey, Soos, look! A glowing dot!" Soos replies, "Oh man, I'm so glad I turned my head. That dot does not disappoint." While Soos is distracted, Dipper #10 puts in a disc labeled "Wendy Mix." The rest of the clones do their jobs as well. Dipper #8, who is sitting above the party, puts a dollar on a fishing rod and dangles it in front of Stan, who says, "Right, like I'm gonna fall for that." He pretends not to notice, then tries to grab the money. "GIVE ME THAT…" He chases it away. "MONEY, MONEY!" While Stan is distracted, Dipper #6 rings a bell. Tyrone says, "There's your cue. It's the perfect moment to ask Wendy to dance. Good luck, me!" Dipper replies, "I don't need luck. I have a plan." He leaves the attic and sees Wendy in the hallway and screams. Wendy says, "Oh hey, man. What's up?" Dipper replies, "W-What are you doing here? I mean, wouldn't you rather be out on the dance floor," She looks at his watch. "...uh, in like exactly 42 seconds?" Wendy says, "I'm just waiting for the bathroom." Dipper replies, "Um, uh, okay." He pulls out his list, and says to himself, "Small talk, small talk, small talk!" Wendy asks, "So hey, let's say everyone at this party gets stuck on a desert island. Who do you think the leader would be?" Dipper says, "I, uh…" Wendy says, "I think I'd go with this lunatic." She points at a short, sweaty man dancing. Dipper laughs and puts his list away and says, "I'd probably go for Stretch over there, uh, because tall people can reach coconuts?" He points at a tall man doing the moonwalk. Wendy says, "Speaking of tall, wanna see something?" She pulls out a picture with her thumb over her. "Those are my brothers, and I'm," She lifts her thumb, "Boooop." Dipper laughs and says, "You were a freak!" He covers his mouth. Wendy says, "Yep." Dipper says, "You know, kids used to make fun of my birthmark before I started hiding it all the time." Wendy asks, "Birthmark?" Dipper replies, "Uh, no! It's nothing! I-I was-I wa–why did I say that?" Wendy says, "No way, dude! Now you have to show me! Show me, show me!" Dipper lifts his bangs up to show his forehead, revealing a Big Dipper-like birthmark. "The Big Dipper! That's how you got your nickname! I thought your parents just hated you or something. Hey, I guess we're both freaks." They clink cups and laugh as Pacifica exits the bathroom. Wendy asks, "Wait here?" She goes into the bathroom. Dipper replies, "Of course."  
Tyrone comes in with the rest of the clones behind him and says, "Hey! What are you doing up here? Number 10 has been distracting Soos for 15 minutes; he's gonna get tired of that dot eventually!" Soos says, "Never!" Dipper replies, "You won't believe it guys! I bumped into Wendy accidentally and things are actually going great!" Tyrone says, "That's nice, but not the plan. Do we have to remind you?" The clones read some steps from the list asynchronously. Dipper replies, "Oh man, you guys sound crazy. Look, maybe we don't need the plan anymore, you know? Maybe I could just go talk to her like a normal person." The clones gasp. Dipper #7 says, "You bite your tongue!" Dipper #5 agrees, "If you're not gonna stick to the plan, maybe you shouldn't be the Dipper to dance with Wendy." The clones say, "Yes/If you think about it...Five/Number Five's got a point." Dipper replies, "Guys, c'mon. We said we weren't gonna turn on each other." Tyrone says, "I think we all knew we were lying." The clones grab Dipper and pull him away. Dipper yells, "No, no, hey, hey!" He screams. The clones throw Dipper in a closet. Dipper shouts, "No, wait!" The clones close the door. Dipper says, trying to trick Tyrone, "Ahh, I can't breath in here!" Tyrone replies, "Yes you can! Plus there's snacks and a coloring book in there for you!" Dipper sighs, and eats a cracker angrily, "Omnomnom…" Tyrone says, "Okay, now that Original Dipper or "Dipper Classic" is no longer fit for it, I nominate myself to dance with Wendy instead. I've been around the longest, so it should be me. Right? I mean logically. Logically, guys." Dipper #10 replies, "Fair point, fair point. Counterpoint, maybe I should get to dance with Wendy because I've been around her the least." Dipper #5 says, "That makes, like, zero sense." Dipper #10 pushes Dipper #5 and replies, "YOU MAKE ZERO SENSE!" Dipper #5 shoves Dipper #10 and shouts, "Watch it!" Dipper #6 shoves Dipper #5 and says, "Don't shove people!" Paper Jam Dipper screeches, "NANANANANA-AAAAAAA!" Tyrone asks, "Hey, you want some cheese and crackers, buddy?" Paper Jam Dipper screeches, "KKSSKSKSS." Tyrone tries to give Paper Jam Dipper a cracker but realizes he has no mouth and says, "Yikes." Hope enters the room and says, "Dipper, I've been loo-" Hope and the clones look at each other in silence. Hope asks, "Dipper used the copier didn't he?" The clones reply, "Yep." Hope aslo asks, "And you guys turned on him, didn't you?" The clones reply, "Yep." Tyrone asks the rest of the clones, "Hey, guys, what would you do if you were trapped in a closet?" Dippers 5 to 10 reply, "Break out." They look at the closet to see that it's open and that Hope is gone. Tyrone face palms.

Hope and Dipper run down stairs and to balcony. Dipper yells, "WEND-!" Dipper #5 covers his mouth and drags him back to the other clones. Tyrone says, "C'mon, man. Give it up. You're overpowered." Hope replies, "Actually, you're overpowered." Dipper says, "Hold on guys, think about it. We're exact equals mentally and physically. If we start fighting, it'll just go on for infinity." As the clones agree, Dipper punches Tyrone. The clones stare at them and there is an awkward pause. Hope asks, "Really, Dipper?" Dipper #9 shouts, "CLONE FIGHT!" Hope and the clones start fighting each other. Dipper #5 is slapping Dipper and says, "Quit hitting myself, quit hitting myself!" He is tackled by Dipper #8. Numbers 5 and 8 holds Tyrone back as #10 slaps him in the stomach. Tyrone says, "Guys guys, c'mon it's me!" Hope is holding back numbers 3, 9, and 4 and says, "Geez, you guys are weak." As Hope and the clones fight, Dipper crawls through the crowd and nearly gets away. They notice Dipper and the fight stops. Dipper #10 shouts, "Hey! Classic Dipper's getting away!" Dipper says, "No friends, it's me, Number 7." Hope and the clones stare at the real Number 7. Dipper #7 shakes his head and panics, "That's not me guys, that's not me!" The fake #7 mark on Dipper's hat peels off. Dipper #9 shouts, "Get him!" Hope pushes the clones away and runs to protect Dipper. The clones march toward Hope and Dipper cornering them & they back away from them. Dipper says, "Stay back, stay back!" Hope looks up and makes smoke, which turns on the sprinkler, causing the clones to melt. The clones say, "Boo! C'mon! Lame! This stinks! Boo!" Paper Jam Dipper says, "NANANANANANA-KSCKSKSSOSKS!" Dipper says, "Huh, how 'bout that." They notice Tyrone standing behind them. Tyrone says, "You!" Dipper says, "Uh-oh."

Back in the party room, Mabel is doing the worm. Soos says, "One more song, dudes, and then it's time for the bestowing of the party crown. It's gonna be the–" He plays an explosion sound with the keyboard. "Nailed it." Mabel says, "Pacifica, I just wanna say that whoever wins, it's been a super fun party." Pacifica replies, "Tsk. Awwww, it thinks it's gonna win. Hey, did you hear that?" Mabel cups her hand next to her ear. "People clapping for the weird girls? Yeah, me neither."  
Back to Hope, Dipper and Tyrone fighting, Tyrone shouts, "Say it! Say I can dance with Wendy!" Dipper says, "Never!" Hope says, "I don't think either of you is gonna dance with Wendy!" Dipper and Tyrone hear Wendy laughing and stop fighting and ask, "Wendy?" Wendy is listening to something Robbie is saying and laughing, "Robbie!" She hits him, "Shut up!" She laughs. Hope says, "Told you." Dipper and Tyrone sigh and say, "We blew it man." They sit down. Tyrone asks, "I don't know, you guys wanna go grab a couple sodas or something?"

Back at the party room. Soos says. "Let the party crown voting commence!" He plays bell sound. Pacifica says sarcastically, "Good luck, Mabel." Soos says, "Applaud to vote for Mabel." The crowd applauds loudly. Soos says, "Let's check the applause meter." He raises his hand and says, "Oh, oh, very good." Mabel smiles. "And the next contestant: Pacifica." The crowd applauds quietly, but Pacifica glares at them angrily. More people reluctantly start to clap for her. "Uh-oh, a tie! This has like, never happened before." Pacifica looks around and sees Old Man McGucket sleeping on a bench. She runs to him and gives him a dollar. Old Man McGucket claps and laughs. Soos says sadly, "Ladies and gentlemen, we-we have a winner. The winner of the contest, is Pacifica Northwest." He gives Pacifica the crown. Pacifica says, "Thank you, Jorge. Thank you everyone! Everyone comes to the after-party at my parents' boat! Woo-hoo!" Crowd carries her off and chant, "Pacifica! Pacifica! Pacifica!" Mabel says to Grenda and Candy, "Sorry I let you guys down. I understand if you wanna leave." Candy replies, "But then, we will miss the sleepover." Mabel asks, "The what?" Grenda replies, "We want to call our moms and see if we can sleep over here with you. You're like, a total rock star!" Candy pulls a magazine out of her bag and says, "I have magazine boys." Mabel asks, "Really? You GUYS!" Candy says, "Maybe we don't have as many friends as Pacifica, but we have each other, and that is pretty good I think." Mabel says to Soos, "Soos! Play another song! This thing's going all night!" Soos replies, "Way ahead of you, hambone." He plays a song. Mabel dances and yells, "This is it! This is it!" Candy dances and says, "Dance! Dance! Dance!"

On the roof, Hope is holding two cans of soda, and gives one each to Dipper and Tyrone. Tyrone asks, "Some night, huh?" A shooting star flies across the starry night. Dipper and Tyrone open the cans. Dipper asks, "You think we even have a chance with Wendy? I mean she's 15, we're 12." Tyrone replies, "I don't know man, I hope so, but we're making zero progress the way we're doin' it. The only good conversation you had with her is when you didn't do anything in that list-stuff." Hope says, "Looks like Mabel and I were right, you do get in your own way." Dipper and Tyrone say at the same time, "Literally!" Tyrone then says, "Wow!" He makes an explosion sound. Dipper and Tyrone touch cans and drink the soda. Tyrone's stomach melts and he says, "Oh boy, don't look now." Hope looks and says, "Oh geez." Dipper yells, "Tyrone!" Tyrone says, "It's okay dude, I had a good run. Remember what we talked about." Dipper agrees, "Uh-uh, of course." Tyrone says, "Hey, and quit being such a wimp around Wendy okay? For my sake…" He melts completely. Dipper says, "Tyrone! You were the only one who understood." He pours soda on where Tyrone melted and drinks what's left. He and Hope go to the front door and look in the window. Stan counting his money and laughs. Soos is playing music and the girls are dancing. Wendy is by the side nodding her head to the beat. Hope opens the door for Dipper. He prepares to go in, then stops and rips up the list and goes inside the shack. Mabel says, "Dipper! Where have you and Hope been? Meet my girlfriends!" After the party ends, Soos presses the keyboard buttons one by one. The last one is the thunder. "Found it." The code this time is: KZKVI QZN WRKKVI HZBH: "ZFFTSDCJSTZWHZWFS!" This code can be solved using the Atbash Cipher.


	8. Chapter 8: The Irrational Treasure

Hey Wolf Pack! I'm releasing this chapter early because this story has been read over 100 times! This is a 100 read special. I will still release the next chapter on Sunday. I hope you guys enjoy this early release.

Hope and the twins are eating nachos inside Stan's car. Stan is honking while Mabel attaches nachos from her chip bag to her ears. Mabel laughs and says, "Nacho earrings. I'm hilarious!" Stan replies, "That's debatable. Aw, come on, what's with all this traffic? And why is it all...covered wagons?" Hope asks, "Stan, do you remember what day it is?" Stan says, "Oh no! No! No!" He pushes the gas pedal. "Not today! Not today!" A few women gasp in the presence of him nearly running them over. He backs up, and begins to drive the car backwards. Dipper asks, "Grunkle Stan, what's going on?" Stan replies, "We gotta get outta here. Before it's too late!" He sees that his car his trapped between a group of covered wagons. "They've circled the wagons! We're trapped! Nooooooooo!" Mabel looks outside her window and sees a cow and says, "I've gotta good feeling about today."

Hope, the twins and Stan get out of the car and walk around an old fashioned-looking Main Street. Dipper says, "Man. Look at the town." He holds a postcard up for a second. When he lowers it, the town is a sepia shade, but it is just due to a pane of dirty glass. A worker walking by, holding one end of the pane of dirty glass says, "Dirty glass. We got dirty glass! Dirty glass." Stan says, "Ah, boy. It's Pioneer Day. Every year these yahoos dress up like idiots to celebrate the day Gravity Falls was founded." Toby says, "Welcome to 1863!" Stan yells, "I will break you, little man!" Toby screams, runs away and crashes into a barrel. Hope, Dipper and Mabel look around at people doing various activities, panning right. People doing candle dipping. Mabel says, "Wow! Look! Candle dipping!" There are people doing gold panning. Old Man McGucket, who is also gold panning, can be heard in the background, saying "Gold!" Dipper says, "Whoa, gold panning!" A priest says to a man and woodpecker, "I now pronounce you man and wife." The woodpecker pecks her husband's hand. The woodpecker guy replies, "I do!" Mabel asks, "What chu talking 'bout?" Hope replies, "Oh yeah. I remember this. In Gravity Falls it used to be legal to marry woodpeckers." Woodpecker guy says, "Oh, it's still legal." He puts a hand on his shoulder, where the woodpecker is perched. "Very legal." He walks away as the announcer speaks up and says, "Come one and all for the opening ceremonies!"

Mabel asks, "Grunkle Stan, you coming?" Stan replies, "No, thank you! Just remember if you come back to the Shack talking like these people, you're dead to me." Dipper says, "There's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar!" Mabel says, "Well horn swabber my haversack!" Hope adds, "We'd best explore this here township." Hope, Dipper and Mabel spit on ground and run off, laughing. Stan yells, "Dead to me!" A crowd assembles around a large stage. Blubs says, 'Here-ye, here-ye! Ye olde commencement ceremony is about to commence." Durland yells while ringing a bell, "Woo! I got a bell!" In the audience, a robber steals an old woman's purse. The old woman yells, "Oh, no! Police, my purse!" Durland rings his bell and yells, "Ring ring! Ring ring! Woo!" Blubs chuckles and says, "He sure loves his bell." Pacifica comes on stage and taps a microphone and says, "Howdy, everyone! You all know me, Pacifica Northwest, great-great granddaughter of town-founder, Nathaniel Northwest. I'm also very rich." The crowd applauds. Hope growls at this. Pacifica says, "Now if you've got the pioneer spirit, we ask you come on up and introduce yourself." Mabel gasps and says, "Audience participation!" Dipper asks, "I don't know, Mabel. Isn't that girl kinda like your arch-enemy?" Mabel replies, "That's water under the bridge." She laughs and runs onstage. Hope whispers to Dipper, "I hope she knows what she's doing." Pacifica says, "Our first newcomer is…" She sees Mabel and says angrily, "Mabel…" Mabel shouts, "Yeah! Let's get this Pioneer Day started! Right guys? USA! USA!" The crowd chants back, "USA! USA!" An America guy chants while crying tears of joy, "USA, USA!" Pacifica says, "I'm sorry to break it to you, but Pioneer Day is for serious people, and you look and act ridiculous." She asks while looking at Mabel's sweater, "I mean, a puppy playing basketball? Are you always this silly?" Mabel says, "Hey, I can be serious!" She glares. Pacifica says, "You do have nachos hanging from your ears, hon." Mabel touches her nacho earrings and blushes. Pacifica laughs and says to Mabel, "Wow, I'm embarrassed for you." She then says to the audience, "Give her a hand everybody!" The crowd applauds and Dipper looks worried and Hope look mad. Mabel sadly walks off of the stage. Pacifica says, "Now who wants to hear more about me?" Hope says to herself, "I really don't like her." Dipper says to the people standing near him and Hope as they makes their way toward Mabel, "Excuse us." Pacifica says as the Northwest Family lines up for a photo, "Everyone say Northwest!" The Northwest family says, "Northwest!" The camera clicks, taking the picture. Pacifica laughs and tilts her head and says, "We're perfect."

Hope and Dipper catch up to Mabel. Dipper asks Mabel, "Hey, you okay?" Mabel replies, "I need some old-timey butterscotch." Hope says, "I'll get you some." Stan in now his car, which is stuck in the mud. Steve walks up to him. Stan asks, "Hey there, uh, donkey boy! Give me a hand with my car, huh?" Steve replies, "Here in 1863, I have never heard-tell of a "car." Pray-tell, what is this magic wheel box?" Stan says, "Ah, c'mon, Steve, you're a mechanic for Pete's sake! Cut me some slack." Steve replies, ""Slack?" I am unfamiliar with this bold, new expression." Stan yells, "I can't take this anymore!" He grabs Steve by the collar. "I'm getting dumber every second I'm here!" Blubs runs up alongside Durland and asks, "Are we gonna have to intervene here?" Stan asks, "Oh, look. The "Constable." What are you gonna do? Throw me in "ye stocks?"" He laughs. Stan yells while in stocks, "Aw, c'mon!" Gideon, wearing old fashioned, nobleman attire, walks by, humming. "Hey, nice outfit, Gideon. You actually look less girly than usual." Gideon replies, "Why, Stanford. I'm just a humble tomato farmer, selling his wares. Whoops, I dropped one." He throws a tomato at Stan's right eye. "Whoops, I dropped another one." He throws a tomato at Stan's left eye. Stan says, "Ugh!" With tomatoes still covering his eyes, he looks up at sky and screams, "PIONEER DAY!"

Hope and the twins are sitting near a large statue of Nathaniel Northwest. Mabel asks, "Dipper, can I ask you something? Do you think I'm silly?" Dipper replies, "Uh, no?" Mabel asks, "Hope?" Hope asks, "Do you really want me to answer that?" Mabel replies, "I knew it! The nacho earrings, the sweater. I thought I was being charming, but I guess people see me as a big joke." She throws off her nacho earrings, takes off her sweater, and ties her sweater around her waist. Dipper says, "C'mon, Mabel, you love that sweater!" Mabel replies, "I did before Pacifica ruined it for me. She ruins everything!" Dipper stands up, turns around, and glares at the statue and says, "Pacifica! Why does she think that being related to the town founder means she can treat everyone like garbage. Someone needs to take her down a peg." Hope gasps and says, "I just remembered something. Nathaniel Northwest isn't the founder of Gravity Falls! The author found a document that he believed contained the secret of Gravity Falls' true founder." She takes Dipper's journal, opens it, and takes out a document. She opens the document, revealing a complex series of letters, symbols and words. Dipper says, "Oh, man! If this cover-up is true, it means Pacifica's whole family is a fraud. This could be a major conspiracy!" Mabel asks, "Really?" Dipper says, "Hope and I've got to investigate this!" Mabel says, "Wait! I'm coming with you. Conspiracies are serious, right?" Hope replies, "Oh yeah, definitely." Mabel says, "Well, if I help you crack this code, then nobody could call me silly again!" Dipper replies, "Yeah! Mystery trio?" Mabel says, "I thought you hated that." Dipper replies, "I'm starting to accept it." Hope, Dipper and Mabel fist bump and run off. Blubs is behind the statue, and says into a walkie-talkie, "This is Sheriff Blubs. We've got a code sepia!" The dispatcher spits out coffee and asks, "What?! And what are you doing about it?" Blubs replies, "I'm following them right now." The dispatcher says, "Find them and stop them. There's no room for error." Blubs replies, "I understand. Blubs out." He then says to Durland, "Deputy Durland, maintaining this cover-up is the mission we've been training for our entire careers. Are you ready?" Durland says while ringing the bell, "Woo!" Blubs says, "Hehe, if being delightful was crime, you'd be breaking the law." Durland yells, "Let's go get 'em!"

Inside the Gravity Falls Library, Old Man McGucket is saying to children, "Back in the olden days, pioneers drew subsistence from telling stories 'round the fire. So let's eat some books, children! Go ahead, eat the books!" He chews a book in his hands. Hope says, "Alright, guys, if we can prove Nathaniel Northwest wasn't the real founder of Gravity Falls, it will finally put Pacifica in her place." Mabel adds, "And solving a mystery will prove that I'm not silly. I'm serious. Serious…" She laps up candy from the table into her mouth with her tongue. Dipper places some slides into a projector and says, "We just need to crack this code. Let me see...it's not Egyptian, it's not numerology, it's not, wait-of course! The triangle is the alchemist symbol for flame. Lighting the parchment on fire will reveal the secret message!" Mabel agrees, "It's so obvious!" Hope asks, "Are you sure that's such a good idea?" Dipper replies, "Of course I'm sure. Alright, let's just light this sucker up and-Mabel!" Mabel, now wearing a hat she made out of the document, says, "Mwop! I just made a hat. Ugh, I just did something silly again." She blows a raspberry. Dipper says, "Wait, Mabel. You folded it into a map! And I was gonna burn it…" Blubs says to a librarian, "We're on the lookout for two kids who might be reading." Durland yells, "We're hunting them down for secret reasons!" He rings the bell. "WOO!" Hope, Dipper and Mabel hide under the table. Durland knocks row of books off a shelf and yells, "DERP!" Hope says, "Maybe we should take this elsewhere…" Mabel says, "This map should lead us to…" Hope and the twins are standing in front of a museum. "...The Gravity Falls Museum of History." Dipper says, "You realize what this means, girls." He looks up and squints. "We're gonna have to break. In." Dramatic music plays as Hope looks around in confusion. Hope, Dipper and Mabel are inside the museum at the entrance. An employee says, "...And here are your free Pioneer Day passes, and your balloons, red, blue and pink." She hands them balloons. Dramatic music plays. Dipper says, still looking up and squinting, "We're in." Hope asks, "Where is that music coming from?"

Mabel asks while walking through museum, "What are we gonna do next, steal Thomas Jefferson's rib cage?" Dipper replies, "Ew, no. According to the map, the next clue about the real town founder should be right...here!" A triangular exhibition piece is mounted on the wall. Hope adds, "We've gotta figure this one out quick, I have a feeling those cops weren't at the library to check out books…" Mabel says, "I don't think the one with the bell can read…" Dipper asks, "So what is it anyway?" Hope and the twins analyze the exhibit. Hope, Dipper and Mabel "Hm…" to themselves. Mabel gets bored and walks over to a bench to sit down. Mabel says while turning upside-down on the bench, "Hey painting, be less stupid!" She gasps. "It worked!" Dipper asks, "Huh?" He and Hope run over and lay upside-down on the bench. Dipper says, "Wait! It's not abstract, it's upside-down!" Hope says, "I think I've seen that statue at the cemetery." Dipper says, "Let's go! Quick!" Hope, Dipper and Mabel stand up and get dizzy, holding their heads and say, "Ow." Dipper says, "Head rush." The employee says to Deputy Durland, "I'm sorry, but we're all out of pink balloons." Durland says, disappointed, "Why did we even come?" The dispatcher says over the walkie-talkie, "Officer Blubs." Blubs runs into the museum so that they're out of earshot; using the walkie-talkie, "Blubs here." The dispatcher asks, "Have the targets been apprehended?" Blubs says, "Negative, but we're close. I promise, that creature and those kids'll never get past us." Hope, Dipper and Mabel run past them. Blubs yells, "Hey! Wait!" Blubs and Durland chase Hope and the kids out of the museum, but get stuck in the door. "Dang it!"

In the Woodpecker and husband's house, the woodpecker guy yells, "For the last time, we are not going south for the winter! Our home is here!" The woodpecker pecks the table. "You always say that!" He storms out of the house. Stan is struggling to get out of the stocks, trying to unlock the lock with a hairpin in his mouth and says to himself, "C'mon! C'mon, ugh!" He drops the pin. Pacifica picks up the pin and says, "Well, if it isn't Mabel's uncle, Mr. Pines. Looking for this?" She holds up the pin. Stan asks, "Yeah, yeah. What d' ya want, money?" Pacifica says, "I want you to say that the Northwest family is the best family in Gravity Falls." Stan asks, "Oh sure, you want that in writing?" Pacifica gives Stan a pen and let him writes something on a note with his mouth. "There you go." The note says "YOU STINK!" "Ha! I did that with my mouth!" Pacifica whistles, catching the attention of people with tomatoes, and points to Stan. "Aw, come on!" Hope, Dipper and Mabel in the cemetery. Dipper is looking at the statue that is pointing off in the distance. Dipper says, "Ah...The statue must be pointing to the next clue." He looks in direction the statue is pointing. Hope says, "I think it must be something else, Dipper." Hope and Dipper look back at the statue when Mabel says while the finger of the statue sticking in her nose, "Oh, gross! She's picking my nose! Ha ha!" The tip of the statue's finger bends upward, opening a secret door in the grave. "Ach." Dipper says, "Mabel, look!" Mabel says, "Ha! Who's silly now, Pacifica? Bam!" She tries to jump down from statue but her nose is still there so the finger tugs on her nose. "Ahh! Ow. Ow. Ow." Hope says, "I got ya." She helps Mabel get down. Mabel says after getting down from the statue, "Okay."  
Hope and the twins go into the tunnel. Mabel says, "Now we're getting into real conspiracy mode. I feel serious. Mmm." She eats candy. Dipper says, "Okay, look out for booby traps." Mabel replies, "Ha! Booby traps." Steps on a tile that triggers a bunch of darts to fly out of the wall towards her, Hope and Dipper. Dipper yells, "Tranquilizer darts!" He grabs Mabel's hand and maneuvers through the darts. Mabel screams. Hope grabs Mabel and Dipper and puts them on her back, "Hang on guys!" Hope covers them with her wings as she dodges the darts and falls down a path that leads them to a small set-up filled with confidential, historical information. Dipper sees Hope covered in darts and asks, "Are you okay, Hope?" Hope replies, "I'm fine. My high metabolism will delay the effect." Mabel says, "Guys, look! It's a treasure trove of historic-y, secret-y things." She picks up a top-secret document. The first page is about the secret of Abraham Lincoln's hat, and shows a picture of Lincoln in his top hat in one picture, and him without his top hat, with a hand sticking out of the top of his head, in the other. Mabel looks at the next page, where there is a picture of Benjamin Franklin wearing earrings, and the sub-caption says that he was secretly a woman. "Oh, man! Ben Franklin secretly was a woman!" Dipper says after finding and picking up a document titled "Northwest Cover-up", "Hey, jackpot! Now we'll find out who the real town founder was." Dipper reads from document, "Let it be here recorded that Nathaniel Northwest, fabled founder of Gravity Falls, was, in fact, a fraud...as well as a waste-shoveling village idiot"?" He laughs. "Oh, bad news for Pacifica. Wait'll the papers hear about this!" Mabel says, "Once people see that I uncovered a historical conspiracy, they can never call me silly!" Hope reads from the document, "The true founder of Gravity Falls was sir lord, Quentin Trembley, III, Esquire." Mabel asks, "Who's Quentin Trembley?" Blubs replies, "That's none of your business!" Durland shouts, "Whoo! We gotcha! Whoo!" He says weakly, "Whoo! Hmm whoo-hoo." He passes out. Several tranquilizer darts are sticking out of his back and head. Blubs says, "He got hit with quite a few of those darts."

Hope says, "These kids deserve to know the truth!" Blubs replies, "But Quentin Trembley's a matter of national security." Durland says, "Yeah! Ye-ah" He puts his hands on knees. "Woo. I think I might be colorblind now." Dipper asks, "What do you mean, 'national security?'" Mabel asks, "And who is Quentin Trembley, anyway?" Blubs says, "See for yourself." He removes his hat and takes out a reel of film. He puts it into a projector, and the projection screen shows a countdown in black and white. Mabel asks, "Aww, it's black and white?!" Dipper says, "Shh! Mabel." Hope replies, "Shush, you two!" Reel starts, revealing a government official in an office. A government official says, "If you're watching this, then you are one of eight people in these United States with clearance to view this information. In fact, I myself will be shot as soon as the filming is complete." He looks offscreen. "-What? No? Ho! Well, that's a relief!" He looks back at the camera. "Of all of America's secrets, the most embarrassing was that of Quentin Trembley: The eighth-and-a-half president of the United States." Dipper and Mabel ask, "President?" Mabel asks, "Eighth-and-a-half?" Hope says, "Oh, I remember him." The government official continues, "After winning the 1837 election in a landslide," On the video, a picture of Quentin Trembley standing next to the other presidential candidates is shown. A landslide kills the other candidates. "Quentin Trembley quickly gained a reputation as America's silliest president. He waged war on pancakes, appointed six babies to the supreme court, and issued the de-pants-ipation proclamation. His state of the union speech was even worse." Trembley says, "The only thing we have to fear is gigantic, man-eating spiders!" The government official, "He was kicked out of office and escaped to an uncharted valley he named Gravity Falls, after plummeting into it at high speed. The only proof that Trembley survived the fall was this black shadow that is most likely a giant flying creature that saved his life." Hope says, "That was me." The government official continues, "Trembley's shameful term was erased from history and officially replaced by William Henry Harrison as President and local nobody Nathaniel Northwest as founder of Gravity Falls. The whereabouts of president Trembley's body are unknown." Blubs says, "Until now." We see Quentin Trembley, who is encased in an amber-colored rectangle. Dipper asks, "Whoa! Is that, like, amber or something?" Blubs replies, "The fool thought he could live forever by encasing himself in a block of solid peanut brittle. Smooth move, Mr. President! Finding Trembley's body was our special mission. And now, thanks to you, it's complete." Durland asks, "Who knew all we had to do was follow a little girl's" He holds up one of Mabel's candy wrappers "trail of candy wrappers?" Mabel says, "Ugh," She face palms. "silly!" Blubs says, "Now that you know the truth, well, we can't let you go around talkin' about it. Dipper asks, "Does that mean-?" Mabel asks, "Are you going to kill us?!" Durland yells, "OH NO!" Blubs replies, "No, no." He says to Durland, "Calm down now, buddy, calm down." Then he says to Hope and the twins, "We're just gonna escort you and all this stuff back to Washington. You ain't comin' back, by the way." Hope says, "Not if I can...Ugh." She passes out. Mabel asks, "Hope?" Dipper says, "The darts must have taken effect! We're doomed."

Durland and Blubs are inside a train. Durland unfolds fold-out bed and says, "Woo-hoo! We got fold-out beds!" Blubs opens suitcase and pulls out book and says, "Good thing I brought my book of spooky ghost stories!" Durland takes out colored rope and says, "I brought rope for friendship bracelets!" Hope, Dipper and Mabel are trapped in a crate with Quentin Trembley's body. Mabel yells, "Anyone there?! Help help help!" Dipper yells, "Hey! Let us out!" Mabel says, "Oh. I can't believe I left a trail of candy wrappers. This is all my fault. Pacifica had me pegged all along. I'm just a silly failure, like that embarrassing president what's-his-name. And now Hope is asleep and we can't escape." She eats piece of peanut brittle, breaking the block and freeing Trembley. Dipper and Mabel scream. Trembley says, "It is I, Quentin Trembley." He rips off his pants. Dipper says, "You're alive! But how?" Mabel yells, "Peanut brittle really does have life-sustaining properties! You're not silly, you're brilliant!" Trembley says, "And so are you, dear girl, for following my clues and freeing me from my delicious tomb!" Dipper agrees, "He's right! Making maps into hats, hanging upside-down; Your silliness solved the code that serious cops couldn't crack in a hundred years!" Mabel says, "Oh, stop it." Trembley looks over to Hope and asks, "Hope! Is that you? What have they done to you?" Dipper replies, "She's asleep, Mr. Trembley. She should wake up soon." Trembley says, "That's a relief. But for now, by Jefferson! We seem to be trapped in some sort of crate-shaped box." Mabel replies, "It's a crate, Mr. President." Trembley pulls out a key and says, "Good thing I have the President's Key, which can open any lock in America!" He repeatedly slams it at the side of the crate. Dipper says, "I...don't think that's gonna work." Trembley says, "Wood! My age-old enemy. In order to get out of here, this is going to take the silliest plan ever conceived." Dipper replies, "I think I know who can help you." He smiles at Mabel. Mabel "Hmms" to herself and asks, "How 'bout...that hole?" She points to tiny hole near the corner of the crate. Trembley yells, "We will leap through it!" Trembley and Mabel jump at the hole. Trembley says to Mabel, who's poking her finger through hole and moving it around, "Almost. Almost there! Good! Keep pushing." Dipper says, "I'm not sure this is working." Mabel yells, "Trust...the silliness!" Trembley yells, "Fiddlesticks! Keep going!" A woodpecker flies in and pecks at the crate, making a tapping noise. Trembley asks, "Is that my third wife? Sandy?" The box falls apart. Trembley says, "Well, we didn't fit through the hole. Let's rebuild the box and try again!" Hope wakes up and asks, "What happened?" Dipper and Mabel say, "Hope!" Trembley then says, "Hope! It is good to see you again!" Hope asks, "Trembley? How are you…" Dipper says, "I'll explain later! We gotta get out of here!" Trembley agrees, "Also good!"

Dipper opens a door in the train and Durland, who is getting ice, sees the four of them and drops the bucket of ice. Durland says, "Blubs!" Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Trembley run away. They climb up a ladder to get to the emergency escape. Trembley pulls out his key and starts pressing it against the door even though there's no lock. Dipper takes the key from Trembley and says, "Give me that!" He turns the handle and they all run out onto the roof of the train, followed by Blubs and Durland. Blubs says, "There" He huffs. "Is" He huffs. "No" He huffs. "escape! I gotta take a knee." Durland asks, "Are you okay? Can I get you anything?" Blubs replies, "Edwin, darlin', you are a diamond in the rough." Dipper asks, "Sheriff Blubs, do you really want to lock us all up in a government facility somewhere?" Blubs replies, "I've got no choice! Our orders come from the very top!" Dipper asks, "Wait! Quentin, did you ever sign an official resignation?" Trembley replies, "No, sir. I ate a salamander and jumped out the window." Hope says, "Then...technically you're still legally the President of the United States, right?" She then says to Blubs and Durland, "You've gotta answer to this guy now!" Blubs and Durland ask "Huh?" Trembley says, "As president of these several United States, I hereby order you to pretend none of this ever happened. And-and go on a delightful vacation." As the train goes by he hits his head on a metal rail. "Ow! Mmm yes!" Blubs asks, "Vacation?" He asks Durland, "What place have you always wanted to visit? One, two-" Blubs and Durland say at the same time, "Silly Water Fun Slides in Grand Lakes, Michigan!" Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Trembley are now outside of the train. Durland and Blubs are in the train wearing Hawaiian shirts and wave to the four as the train departs. Blubs and Durland say, "Bye-bye! Bye!" Once the train is gone, Trembley gets to a knee and looks at Mabel and says, "You've done a great service to your country, Mabel. As thanks, I'd like to make you an official U.S. congressman." He unfolds a black top-hat and hands it to Mabel. Mabel puts on the hat and says, "I'm legalizing everything!" Trembley then says to Dipper, "And Roderick," Dipper interrupts, "Uh-actually-uh-" Trembley continues, "You dear boy are on your way to unlocking the mysteries of this great land. So I'd like you to have my President's Key!" He then says to Hope, "And Hope, I wish I could give you something." Hope replies, "Trembley, you already gave me a home." Trembley says, "I suppose I did." He then smiles.

Hope, Trembley and the twins are back in Gravity Falls. Trembley is telling a story, "And then he chased me around and spanked me with a paddle for, like, three hours. Bottom line, George Washington was a jerk." Mabel says, "A-greed!" They see Pacifica and her friends watching girls run around a small maypole. Smabble trips, but saves herself so that she doesn't fall onto the ground and goes, "Oh!" Pacifica says to her friends, "Kick her off the team." Pacifica's friends walk away to do as she said. Mabel approaches Pacifica and says, "Hey, Pacifica! I uncovered a government conspiracy about the eighth-and-a-half president of the United States! Who's silly now?" Pacifica asks, "What? Who is that idiot?" Trembley now has his fists up and is chasing after a bald eagle. Trembley says, "Put up your dukes, you bald fiend!" Mabel replies, "The eighth-and-a-half president of America. How is he still alive? Well, turns out you can hibernate in peanut brittle and it-" Pacifica bursts out into laughter and says, "Wow! You really are a sad, dumb little girl. Nice top hat, by the way." Preston laughs and says, "Good one, daughter." Pacifica says, "Ooh! I see your car is stuck in the mud." She gets into the sedan, "Enjoy walking home!" Dipper asks Mabel, "Aren't you gonna tell her about her ate-gray ampa-gray?" Mabel says, "You know what, Dipper? I've got nothing to prove. I've learned to see silly as awesome!" Hope says, "Well, I haven't learned anything!" She whistles. "Hey, Pacifica!" Hope runs to the Northwest's sedan. The car stops and Hope hands Pacifica the documents on the Northwest cover-up through the window. Hope says, "Nathaniel Northwest didn't found Gravity Falls, and your whole family is a sham. Deal with it!" The car drives away, and Pacifica looks out the back window, shocked. Pacifica says, "What?! Mom!" Hope says, now back at Mabel's side, "Man, revenge is underrated. That felt awesome!" Trembley says, "Hope, children, I am needed elsewhere. Just know that I'll always be right here…" He pulls out a bill. "On the negative twelve dollar bill." He hands Dipper the bill. Dipper examines the bill and says, "Whoa. This is worthless." Trembley says, "It's less then worthless, my boy. Trembley away!" Trembley jumps backwards onto a horse and rides away. Mabel asks, "Where do you think he's going?" Dipper replies, "I'm gonna say...off a cliff." Hope nods in agreement.  
Stan is telling Hope and the twins the story of his imprisonment, "And then Soos came by and talked to me for like, an hour." Mabel says, "You've been through so much." Dipper uses the President's key to unlock the lock on the stocks and freeing Stan and says, "It works!" Stan asks Mabel, "So what's with the top hat?" Mabel says, "I am a congressman." Stan asks, "Pardon me?" Mabel replies, "You are officially pardoned." Hope, Dipper and Mabel laugh, to Stan's befuddlement who replies, "Oy! You a never gonna make sense, are you, kid?" Mabel replied, "No, I'm not, Grunkle Stan. No, I'm not. Mabel, away!" She jumps backward. There is a crashing sound. Mabel says, "I'm okay!" Trembley is now in a courtroom talking to babies with mustaches wearing top hats. Trembley says "Esteemed gentlemen of the Supreme Court of the United States, I implore you to rethink your decision!" The babies just sit there making cooing noises. "Very well. But who would you have replace me?" One of the babies says, "Mama." Trembley asks, "That old crone?!" Another baby says, "Ba ba ba…" Trembley replies, "Chief Justice Num-Num, y-you're spitting up on yourself! Now ohh! Oh, come on! This is a courtroom! I...this...this is a dark day for America." The code this time is: V. KOFIRYFH GIVNYOVB. The code can be cracked using the Atbash Cipher.


	9. Chapter 9: The Time Traveler's Pig

The Mystery Fair is being constructed. Hope says, "There she is, Mabel; the cheapest fair money can rent. Stan spared every expense." Dipper is heard screaming, then he comes falling down in a tram car, "I think the sky tram is broken. Also, most of my bones." Stan laughs and then says, "This guy. Alright, alright. I've got a job for you three." He pulls out a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates with the letter A+ on them. "I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit." He hands them to Hope, who gives some to Dipper, who gives some to Mabel, who asks, "Grunkle Stan, is that legal?" Stan replies, "When there's no cops around, anything's legal! Soos, how's that dunk tank coming along?" Soos is using a blowtorch on the handle of a dunk tank and replies, "Almost ready to go, Mr. Pines." Stan knocks on the target and the seat barely moves, "Ha, you've got it rigged from here to Timbuktu! There's nothing on Earth that could knock me down!" Soos replies, "Yeah, except for like a futuristic laser arm cannon." Stan says, "Ah. Hey, you haven't seen my red screwdriver, have ya? Darn thing went missing." He digs around in toolbox. Soos says, "Maybe some magical creature or paranormal thing-um took it." Stan replies, "Oi! You've been spending too much time with those kids." He keeps digging in toolbox and mumbling, "Alright, let's see where'd I put that thing." There is a mysterious guy behind some portable toilets and says to himself, "The mission is proceeding as planned. Over." He uses Stan's red screwdriver to fix his camouflage suit, then walks away.

Stan says through a megaphone, "It's 12 o'clock! The Dunk Tank is now open!" The tourists cover their ears as the megaphone screeches. "Step right up, and dunk me folks!" He points to a tourist eating a pretzel, "I'm talking to you, Cut-offs!" The tourists are all gathered in front of Stan's dunk tank. "That's right! Muffin-Top, High-Pants! Who wants a piece of me?" Tourists throw balls at dunk tank, but fail to knock down Stan. Stan laughs and says, "Come back anytime, folks!" He laughs again. Dipper, while eating corn dog shaped like question mark, says to Wendy, "How do they get them into this shape? It's unnatural." Wendy replies, "But Dipper, they're so…" She holds up corn dog to the end of the sign that says "DELICIOUS". "...delicious?" Dipper and Wendy laugh. After mustard drips on her Wendy says, "Aw, boo! I'll be right back." She leaves. Dipper replies, "I'll be right here!" He laughs and then whispers, "I love you!" Hope and Mabel enter with three cotton candy sticks. Hope says, "Look at you two! Getting all romantic at the fair!" Dipper replies, "Eh, it's no big deal." Mabel says, "Yeah, it is!" Dipper replies, "Okay, you're right, it is! Isn't this amazing? I just dove in! I said, "Hey! You wanna hang out at the fair?" And you know what she said?" Flashback to Dipper and Wendy in the gift shop. Wendy says, "Yeah, I guess so." Back in the present. Dipper continues, ""Yeah, I guess so!" It totally worked! All your advice about just going for it, it's finally paying off!" Mabel says, "When are you gonna learn, Dipper? I'm always right about everything!" Hope sniffs the air and asks, "Hey, do you smell a gallon of body spray?" Robbie walks up and asks, "Hey, have either of you dorks seen Wendy around?" Dipper asks, "Who wants to know?" Robbie takes some of Mabel's cotton candy. Mabel shouts, "Hey!" Robbie says, "Yeah, I got some new super tight jeans." He thrusts. "Thought she might want to check 'em out." Dipper replies, "Yeah! You know, I think I saw her in the Bottomless Pit. You should really go jump in there." Robbie replies, "Maybe I will, smart guy." He bumps Dipper on his way away. Hope has a look of disgust on her face and says, "He is such a jerk." Dipper replies, "Yeah, but he's a jerk with tight pants and a guitar. I need to keep him away from Wendy at all costs." Mabel says, "I'll be there with you, brother. Whatever happens, I'll be right here, supporting you every step of the–OH MY GOSH, A PIG!" Hope and the twins look at a poster that says, "Win a pig!" Mabel runs frantically and bumps several people on the way to the pigpen. Sprott, the local farmer, says, "If'n you can guess the critter's weight, you can take the critter home!" Mabel looks at all the pigs, then sees a cute pig looking right at her, who oinks like the word "Mabel". Mabel gasps and says, "He said 'Mabel'! Either that or 'doorbell.' Did you say 'Mabel' or 'doorbell'?" The pig oinks "Mabel" again. Mabel says, "Oooooooooohhh!" Pacifica says, "Oh look! Mabel found her real twin." She laughs and walks away. Mabel whispers to herself, "Pacifica!" She then says to Sprott, "Sir, I must have that pig!" Sprott says, "Ah, old 15-Poundy! So, how much you guessin' he weighs?" Mabel says, "Um, 15 pounds?" Sprott replies, "Are you some kind of witch? Well, here's your pig." He gives Mabel the pig. A crowd claps for Mabel. Sprott gives Mabel fork and knife and says, "And you'll be needin' these." Mabel glares at Sprott. "Nope? Well, suit yourself!" Mabel hugs the pig and says to herself, "Everything is different now."

Hope is walking when she hears a sound coming from some bushes. She goes over to look and gasps as she sees a baby hippogriff. She says, "Hello there. What are you doing here?" The hippogriff hides from her. Hope says, "Wait, I'm not gonna-." She widens her eyes as she sees the baby hiding behind it's dead mother. She assures the young creature, "Don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt you." The baby pokes out it's head as Hope bows to show she's friendly. The baby stares at her for a bit, and then bows back to her. He then approaches her and rubs his head on her. Hope says, "Aww. You're so cute." She then thinks and says, "It's too dangerous for someone like you out here alone. How about you come with me, and I'll take care of you?" The baby chirps with agreement and runs around his new guardian. Hope laughs at his enthusiasm and says, "You know, you'll need a name. How about something like Razorwind?" Razorwind jumps with joy at the sound of his new name. Hope says, "Come on, little guy. Everything is different now."

Dipper and Wendy are walking through the carnival when Wendy says, "Whoa, check it out! I don't know if it's a duck or a panda, but I want one!" Dipper walks up to ball toss game and says, "My uncle taught me the secret to these games. You aim for the carnie's head, and take the prize when he's unconscious." Wendy laughs and says, "Nice!" Dipper gives the carnie money and says, "One ball, please." The ball game carnie, gives Dipper the ball and says, "You only get one chance." Wendy gives Dipper thumbs up. Dipper says, "And a-one and a-two and a-three!" He throws the ball; it misses, bounces back, and hits Wendy in the eye. Wendy screams, "AH! MY EYE!" Dipper says, "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Wendy! Are you okay?" Wendy asks, "Does it look swollen?" She has a black eye. Dipper says, "Everything's gonna be fine! Don't worry! I'll-I'll go get some ice!" He runs to ice box, gets ice. "Where is she, where is she?" He runs into the mysterious man from earlier and drops ice; scrapes it into the bag. "Hey, watch where you're going, man!" The mysterious man grabs a tape measure and runs off. Dipper finishes scraping ice into bag and starts toward Wendy; stops when he hears Robbie, "Just ease your eyeball into that freezy cone." Wendy says, with her eye in a snow cone, "Robbie, thanks. That's really sweet. The gesture, and the flavored syrup." Robbie replies, "Yeah, I was just here at the right place at the right time. Y'know, I've been meaning to ask you...we've been spending a lot of time together and I was wondering if, maybe, you want to go out with me?" Wendy says, "Yeah, I guess so." Robbie replies, "Sweet!" Dipper is horrified. A balloon shaped like a heart is popped by a dart behind him. All the ice falls out of the bag. Mabel comes up to Dipper with Waddles and says, "Look, Dipper! I won my pet pig! His name is Waddles. I call 'im that because he waddles!" She shakes Waddles. "Whaaaaaaa-dddllleeessss!" Hope walks in and says, "Hey guys, meet Razorwind. Isn't he a cutie?" Razorwind pokes his head out from behind Hope and chirps. Dipper says to himself, "Everything is different now." Mabel asks, "What are you lookin' at?" Hope replies, "That." She points at Robbie and Wendy getting on a ride called "Tunnel of Love and Corn-dogs" with her wolf paw. Mabel says, "Oh…"

Night falls and the lights on the Ferris Wheel are turned on. Dipper lies down on the "Slopey Toss" The pizza guy asks, "Uh, are you gonna move?" Dipper replies, "Uhhhhhhhh…" The pizza guy says, "Aw…" He leaves, disappointed. Mabel holds up Waddles, who is dressed as a doctor, and says, "Paging Dr. Waddles, we got a boy here with a broken heart." She laughs. "Come on, man. These are the jokes." Dipper asks, "Mabel, Hope, do either of you ever wish you could go back and undo just one mistake?" Mabel says, "Nope! I do everything right, all the time!" She moves Waddles' arms around, "Wa! Wa! Ee! Ee! Wawawa!" Hope says, "You have no idea how many mistakes I wish I could fix." Razorwind rubs against Hope in comfort. Dipper says, "I mean Wendy only went out with Robbie because he was there with the ice, and she needed the ice because of the baseball, and I would've had the ice if it wasn't for…" He gasps. "...that guy!" He says to the mysterious man, "Hey, you! Tool belt! You ruined my life!" He walks up to him. The mysterious man asks, "Huh?" Dipper replies, "Don't huh me! I've seen you before! What's your deal? Are you following us around?" Mabel asks, "And why are you bald? What's that all about?" The mysterious man yells, "AAAAAGH! My position has been COMPROMISED! Assuming stealth mode!" He presses buttons on his watch, making his suit change to different backgrounds. "Color match! Initiating color match! Come on, dang it!" He takes out screwdriver and tries to fix it. Hope asks, "Hey, are you from the future?" The mysterious man replies, "Uh, NO! Who told you that?! MEMORY WIPE!" He throws a wipe in Hope's face. Hope removes it, looks at it, and says, "This is a baby wipe." The mysterious man says, "All right, you've cornered me. I'm...a time traveler." Dipper asks, "So wait a minute, if you're from the future, do you have like a time machine, or something?" The mysterious man replies, "That's...kinda how it works." Robbie and Wendy are riding the Ferris Wheel. Dipper asks, "Can I borrow it? Come on, can I use your time machine just once?" The mysterious man replies, "No! Out of the question! You know, this is sensitive extremely complicated time equipment." He pulls out a tape measure to show them. Hope says, "It looks like a tape measure." The mysterious man replies, "You shut your time-mouth!" Dipper asks Mabel, "This making any sense to you?" Mabel replies, "I think he's just crazy." The mysterious man says, "Oh! You don't believe me?" He pulls the tape measure, disappears, then reappears a few seconds later in old fashioned clothes. "Guess where I was!" Hope, Dipper and Mabel say, "Whoa!" The mysterious guy says, "That's right! 15 years ago there was a costume shop right here! One second." He disappears, then reappears in his normal suit, which is flaming. "Ah! Aw, heck! Pat! Pat down!" He pats the fire out. Mabel asks, "So, who are you again?" The mysterious man replies, "Blendin Blandin, Time Anomaly Removal Crew year twenty sñeventy-twelve. My mission is to stop a series of time anomalies that are suppose to happen at this very location! But-but I don't see any anomalies! I don't know if it's some kind of paradox, or I'm just really tired…" He sits down. Dipper says, "You know, you sound like you could use a break." Mabel agrees, "Definitely, definitely. Might we recommend one of the various attractions at the Mystery Fair?" Blendin gets up and says, "You know what? What the heck! I'm worth it!" He starts to leave. "But I've got my eye on you! Ehhh...ehhh…" He arrives at the barrel ride, which Soos is operating. "One please." Soos says, "Uh, sorry dude but you're gonna have to take your belt off for the ride. One of your tools might fly off and accidentally fix something." Blendin gives it to him and says, "Guard it with your life." Soos says, "I will watch it like a hawk, dude." He starts the ride and sets the belt on the barrel at his side. Blendin says, "Woooooo! Yaaaaaaaay! Weeheee!" Razorwind reaches over and takes the belt. Soos yells, "Like a hawk!"  
Hope, Dipper, Mabel, Razorwind, and Waddles are sitting at the poker table in the Shack with the time machine on the table. Dipper says, "Here it is, girls. Our ticket to any moment in history." Mabel says, "Let's go get two dodos and force them to make out!" Hope says, "No! We gotta be smart about this. All that paradox talk kinda freaked me out." Dipper adds, "All I'm gonna do is go back and fix my one mistake. If I don't miss that base ball throw, I won't hit Wendy in the eye, and Robbie won't comfort her, and they won't start going out." Mabel says, "I'm coming, too! I wanna relive the greatest moment in my life: winning Waddles." She kisses Waddles. Hope adds, "I'm coming with you to make sure you don't screw with time, and that Razorwind is safe." She and Razorwind rub their heads together. Dipper pulls out tape and says, "See you later." Mabel says, "See you earlier!" She laughs at her own joke and Hope replies, "Let's just get this over with." Dipper releases the tape and high fives Mabel while Hope wraps her wings around the twins, making them all freeze. Waddles and Razorwind run away, knocking a pile of cards of the table. They and the cards freeze. Soos eats half a sandwich, then freezes mid bite. A random man throws a ball, which freezes, and he does too. Hope, Dipper and Mabel disappear. Waddles and Razorwind run backwards and cards fly backwards. Soos spits it out, eating it in reverse. A random man catches ball. We see the day rewind. Hope, Dipper and Mabel reappear in same spot. Dipper's hat is on fire. Dipper pats the fire while saying, "Ah! Ha! Ha!" Hope, Dipper and Mabel smile at each other and run outside. Stan says through a megaphone, "It's 12 o'clock! The dunk tank is now open!" The tourists cover their ears as the megaphone screeches. "Step right up and dunk me folks!" He points to a tourist eating a pretzel. "I'm talking to you, Cut-offs!" Dipper asks Hope and Mabel, "Do-over?" Hope/Mabel reply, "Do-over!"

Sprott says, "If'n you can guess the–" Mabel says while holding Waddles, "15 POUNDS!" She walks off, then comes back to say, "And yes, I am a witch!" Sprott says, "Well, time to round up a mob." He lights a torch. Hope finds Razorwind and bows while saying, "I'm here to protect you. Come with me if you want to live." Razorwind bows back and walks with Hope. Dipper catches up with Wendy. Dipper says, "Hey, Wendy!" Wendy says, "There you are. Hey, what happened to your hat?" Dipper replies, "Uh, nothing. Hey, look! What's that?" He goes to the carnival stand. Wendy says, "Whoa! Check it out! I don't know if it's a duck or a panda, but I want one." Dipper says to Ball game carnie, "One ball, please." The ball game carnie says, "You only get one chance." Dipper says, "That's what you think…" Wendy gives Dipper a thumbs up. Dipper says, "One panda-duck, comin' right up! Okay, Dipper, second chance, don't mess this up." He throws the ball, knocks down all the cans. "Yes!" The ball hits the back of the stand and bounces back and hits Wendy in the eye. Wendy screams, "AAAAHH! MY EYE!" Dipper asks, "What?!" Wendy asks, "Does it look swollen?" Dipper looks at his hands and says, "That's so weird…" Wendy says, "Oh, hey Robbie." Robbie asks, "So anyway, we've been hanging out a lot and I've been wondering if, maybe, you would want to go out with me?" Wendy replies, "Yeah, I guess so." Mabel is feeding Waddles a caramel apple as Hope feeds Razorwind popcorn while Dipper talks to them. Dipper says, "The exact same thing happened twice; it was spooky." Mabel replies, "Oo, maybe it's a time-curse. Waddles, can you say "time-curse"?" Waddles oinks like time curse. Mabel says, "Oooooohhhhhhh!" She picks him up. "Your face is so fat!" Hope says, "It is possible that the forces of time naturally conspire to undo any new outcomes?" She then rubs Razorwind on the head. Dipper replies, "No, no, I just need to try again. Third time's the charm!" Mabel asks, "How hard could it be?" Hope adds, "I have a bad feeling about this." Hope, Dipper and Mabel pull the tape and disappear. A crowd with torches walks around. One carnie yells, "Find the witch!"

Third time: Wendy gives Dipper a thumbs up. Dipper smiles awkwardly and decides to throw the ball with his left hand instead. The ball hits the cans, hits the floor, and bounces off a wooden plank onto Wendy's face. Wendy screams, "AAAAHH! MY EYE!" Robbie asks, "Hey, you alright?" Dipper confused, has an 'are you kidding me?' look on his face. Mabel is at a photo booth taking pictures with Waddles. She hugs him, rubs noses with him, and leans against him. Hope and Razorwind are running through the fair together. Dipper pulls the tape measure. Fourth time: Dipper and Wendy switch places and Dipper nods his head. He throws the ball. It hits the cans, goes up to hit the plush, hits the carnie, and then hits Wendy. Wendy screams, "AAAAHH! MY EYE!" Dipper looks mortified. Robbie says, "Oh. Bad luck." Dipper looks mad and face plants onto the table. Mabel is sharing a slice of pizza with Waddles. Hope and Razorwind are flying over the fair. Dipper pulls the tape measure. Fifth time: Wendy gives Dipper a thumbs up. Dipper asks, "Wendy, how badly do you want that stuffed animal thing?" Wendy replies, with a serious looks on her face and raises her fists to her face, "More than anything in the world, Dipper." Dipper replies, "Ahkay…" He throws the ball, which bounces off the wood below the bottles, and hits a bag of balls, breaking the bag open and spilling the balls on Wendy. Wendy screams, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Hope winces. Robbie helps her up and shakes his head at Dipper. Mabel shouts while riding the Ferris Wheel with Waddles, "I LOVE MY PIG!" Hope and Razorwind are in the sky as they roar in enjoyment.  
On the sixth time, Hope, Mabel and Dipper are waiting near a popcorn machine, which Dipper is writing on and saying, "...I just thought the wind speed...factoring cotton candy…" Mabel says, "Face it, Dipper, you're obviously fated to have a bad day at the fair, just like I'm fated to be with Waddles." She shows him and Hope the sweater she's knitting, which has a pig on the front. Hope says, "Cute sweater. Also, it's like how I'm fated to be with Razorwind." Dipper says, "Like there's one variable missing…" Mabel asks, "What's a variable?" Hope replies, "It's a part of an equation that makes up the solution." As Hope and Mabel say this, they fill in the empty solution of Dipper's equation. Dipper says, "That's it! I've figured out to win the toss, not hit Wendy, and stop Wendy and Robbie from going out!" Mabel says, "Great! I'm gonna go win my pig again." Hope says, "And I'm gonna find Razorwind." They walk off. Dipper says, "Whoa whoa whoa, you can't leave, I need you two for my plan!" Mabel asks, "But what about Waddles?" Hope then asks, "And Razorwind?" Dipper says, "It'll just take a few minutes, let's go!" He pulls Mabel away. Hope follows. Later, Dipper is at the game, looking at the wind speeds and everything. Wendy asks, "Are you gonna go, man?" Dipper says, "And a-one and a-two and a-uh!" He throws the ball straight up. Wendy says, "Ah! Dude! You missed!" Dipper asks, "Did I?" The ball comes back down, Hope catches it and throws it to the Shack, it rolls down a pipe which Mabel lifts up, and flies at the dunk tank target. The crowd says, "Huh!", hoping that the ball would knock Stan into the water. The ball hits the target and nothing happens. The crowd replies, "Aaww!" Stan laughs. The ball knocks food out of the pizza man's hands, it goes through Robbie's snow cone, flies between Dipper and Wendy, knocks down all the cans, and bounces off the back of the stand, and breaks through the top of the tent. The ball game carnie says, "Your stuffed creature of indeterminate species, miss." He gives Wendy a Duck-panda. Wendy squeezes it and says, "Oh, awesome!" Dipper catches the ball in his hat. Robbie says, "There you are, Wendy!" Wendy says, "Hey, Robbie." Robbie says, "So I was wondering if I...you a…" Wendy says, "Look what Dipper got for me!" Dipper looks from behind Wendy. Robbie replies, "Pfft. Whatever. Can't even tell what species it is. Stupid." He pulls his hood over his face, closes it so his nose sticks out, and walks away. Wendy asks, "What's his deal? Looks like I came to the fair with the right guy." The ball game carnie says, "We have a winner!"

Hope and Mabel come up behind Dipper. Dipper gives her a thumbs up. Mabel replies, "Anytime, broseph. Now to win my pig." Hope replies, "And I'm gonna find Razorwind." After she flies away, Mabel walks off but then screams. Sprott says to Pacifica, "He's all yours! No one else's! Ol' 15-Poundy. Yours. Forever!" Pacifica links leash onto Waddles and pulls him away. Waddles disobeys Pacifica and squeals in fear. Mabel screams and runs away. Hope goes to the bushes and says, "Come on little guy." Her eyes widen as nothing happens. "Razorwind?" She looks around and sees a puddle of blood. She gasps and roars in sadness. Dipper and Wendy are riding the Tunnel of Love and Corn dogs and laughing. Wendy says, "That was even more awesome the third time around! Funnel cake! Let's go get some, Dipper!" She runs off. Dipper hears a scream and wonders where it's coming from until Mabel runs up to him and screams in his face. Dipper asks, "What's–" Mabel screams. Dipper asks, "Mabel, what's–" Mabel screams again. Dipper says, "We'll just wait until you're done." Mabel says, "I'm done." Dipper asks, "Okay, what is wrong?" Mabel says, "We messed up the timeline! Pacifica saw the flyer and won Waddles before I did! She TOOK Waddles, guys!" Dipper says, "Oh, Mabel, I'm sorry." Hope flies in yelling, "Guys, the most awful thing happened!" Dipper asks, "What?" Hope replies, "Razorwind is gone! He was taken by a predator!" She howls in sadness after saying this. Dipper says, "Oh, Hope, I'm so sorry." Mabel replies, "It's okay. We just need to go back…" She takes the time machine from Dipper. "...and do things differently." Dipper says, "Mabel! Wait." He takes the time machine back. "Look. I did the math. In any other timeline, Wendy ends up going out with Robbie. I can't mess up this day again!" Mabel says, "But if we don't go, I'll lose Waddles forever!" Hope adds, "And I lose Razorwind!" She tries to take the time machine. Another car comes by and catches the tape, pulling it out a long way before letting go.

Hope, Dipper and Mabel land flat on their faces on a dirt path. Dipper asks, "When are we?" Mabel replies, "The real question is: when are we? Oh wait, did you already–" Dipper says, "Yeah, I already–" Hope adds, "That's what he originally said." Mabel says, "Alright." Dipper adds, "It's the same thing. Do you hear that?" Buffalo stampede. Hope, Dipper and Mabel scream, run and fall off a cliff. They scream again and fall through the roof of a caravan and onto some flour. A settler says, "Be on the lookout for mountain lions, travelers!" Settler #2 says with a canteen, "Dysentery! Who wants dysentery?" Settler #3 says, "Forge ahead, mighty oxen, for a new life awaits us on this…Oregon trail." Mabel asks, "Where are we? The 70s?" Hope replies, "You sent us back 150 years, Mabel, it's pioneer times!" Settler #3 says, "By Trembley! Fertilia, it seems you've given birth to two more children and discovered a new creature!" Fertilia replies, "It appears I have. More little hands to render the tallow." Mabel asks, "Tallow? What?" A boy says, "Her mouth is filled with silver, mother!" Mabel replies, "These are called braces." Dipper says, "Mabel, we can't start messing with the past!" Mabel asks, "Oh, said the guy who messed with the past all day and cost me my pig and Hope her hippogriff?" She holds up calculator. "I'll mess with the past all I want!" She says to the boy, "Check it out! A magic button machine!" She gives it to him. "Shoes that blink!" She stomps on the floor and her shoes light up. The people "Ooooooooohhhhhh!" in awe. Hope takes the calculator from boy. Mabel says to Fertilia, "Hey, sister! Guess who gets to vote in the future! Ladies! Up top!" She high fives her. "That's called a high five! Teach it to your friends!"

Dipper takes the time machine from her and says, "Give me that! I'm gonna set the timeline right!" He pulls tape and he, Hope and Mabel disappear. They appear in front of a large carnivorous dinosaur. They scream and Hope says, "Too far back!" Dipper frantically presses buttons on the time machine and they disappear. The dinosaur tries to eat them but misses. Hope, Dipper and Mabel appear in the future. Everything is in ruins and there are two moons. A man, who Hope assumes is a Freedom Fighter, says, "Run! Run!" Freedom Fighter #2 shouts, "IT'S COMING!" A giant baby floats over and destroys a building with laser eyes and laughs. Mabel says, "This future seems neat!" Hope says, "No, it doesn't!" Dipper takes the time machine and presses buttons frantically. They appear at the Gravity Falls Lake, at the opening day of fishing season. Mabel shouts, "I'M COMING, WADDLES!" She runs off. Hope follows yelling, "I'M COMING FOR YOU RAZORWIND!" as she drops the calculator. Dipper shouts, "Hey!" He runs after them. Old Man McGucket yells, "I SEEN IT! I SEEN IT AGAIN!" Now they are at the unveiling of Wax Stan. Stan says, "But enough about me, behold: ME!" Dipper trips over wire and loses his shoe. They run across the yard of the Mystery Shack while the gnomes are cornering the golf cart. Mabel's flower pin flies out of her hair. They appear again in the same spot years ago, but this time it is snowing. Mabel shouts, "This thing is getting hotter!" She tosses it from hand to hand. "HOT! HOT HOT HOT!" Dipper asks, "WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Mabel replies, "I DON'T KNOW!" Hope yells, "It's overheated! Brace yourselves!" Hope, Mabel and Dipper disappear. After they are gone, Stan opens the shack door and closes it after checking.

Hope, Dipper and Mabel appear in a complete darkness. Mabel asks, "Where are we?" Dipper replies, "There's nothing but inky blackness for miles! Mabel, don't you see? We've transported to the end of time!" Hope screams. Dipper screams. Mabel screams. Dipper screams. Hope screams and asks, "Wait, why does it smell so bad in here?" She finds a door and opens it. They are in the portable toilet at the Mystery Fair. "Look, we're back in the present!" Dipper asks, "But which present?" Wendy with the panda-duck says, "This is the best present ever!" Dipper says, "Yes!" Waddles squeals while trying to get away from Pacifica. Mabel and Hope yell, "NO!" Mabel chases Dipper and yells, "Gimme that thing! Dipper give it back!" Dipper climbs to top of portable toilet and says, "Look, Mabel, it's over! Okay? Give it up! I've worked too hard to lose this!" Mabel asks, "But what about Waddles? He was my soulmate!" Dipper says, "You said that about a ball of yarn once! Do you really want Wendy to date Robbie?" Mabel replies, "I don't know…" She starts to hit her head against the totem pole. Hope lays down next to her, howling in sadness. Dipper says, "You're not guilt-tripping me, Mabel. Not this time." Mabel doesn't stop hitting her head against the pole. "Come on, Mabel, I know you. You're gonna forget about this in a day!" He takes time machine out of pocket. "Here! Hey! I'll prove it!" He goes forward a day. "See?" Mabel is still hitting her head on the pole, and Hope is still laying beside her. "Okay, maybe you'll forget in a week…" He goes forward a week, no improvement. Dipper starts to sweat. "A month! She'll better in a month!" Forward a month. Mabel has vines growing on her legs as she says, "Waddles…" Smack. "Waddles…" Smack. Hope has vines growing all over her body as she says sadly, "Razorwind." Soos says while leading a tour group, "...And when you look at you're left, you'll see Miserable Mabel and Hopeless Hope: a girl and Wolf Dragon who went bonkers after their dreams were shattered by some heartless jerk. Oh, hey, Dipper!" Dipper watches Mabel and says, "Uh...grrrr!"

He goes back. He walks up to the ball game with Wendy, who says, "I don't know if it's a duck or a panda, but I want one!" Dipper sigh and says, "Wendy, I just wanted to say that, well I just wanted say that people makes mistakes, and when they do, you should forgive them. And also that tight pants are overrated." Wendy replies, "Dude, you lost me." Dipper says, "I know…" Dipper says to the carnie, "One ball, please." The ball game carnie says, "You only get one chance." Dipper says, "And a-one and a-two and a-huh!" He throws the ball, which hits Wendy. Wendy screams, "AUUGH! MY EYE!" Robbie asks, "Hey, Wendy are you okay? You know this is the perfect time for me to ah...ask you something." Dipper says, "It is done." Mabel attacks him in a hug and lifts him up and yells, "DIPPER! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! Hmmm!" Waddles oinks the sound similar to "thank you". "He's saying thank you in Pig! Aren't you, Waddles?" Waddles oinks "thank you" two times and turns body around and kicks his legs. Hope crashes into Dipper and yells, "THANKS DIPPER!" as Razorwind appears besides her. Pacifica is being pecked by a chicken, "Ow-Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!..." Dipper says, "I couldn't break your hearts, Hope and Mabel. Besides, there's no way Wendy can date Robbie all summer, right?" Blendin takes the time machine and yells, "YOU THREE!" Hope, Dipper and Mabel scream, while Waddles squeals and Razorwind screeches. "Do you have any idea, how many rules you just broke?! I'm asking; I wasn't there with you...it was probably a lot, right?" Two men appear next to Blendin. Their name tags say: Dundgren and Lolph. Dundgren says, "Blendin Blandin…" Blendin screams and yells, "The Time Paradox Avoidment Enforcement Squadron!" Lolph says, "That's right, and our phones have been ringing off the hook! There are settlers high-fiving in the 1800's and calculators littered through eight centuries!" Dundgren says, "You're under arrest for violation of the Time Traveler's Code of Conduct." He handcuffs him and leads him away. Blendin screams, "It was that Wolf Dragon and those kids! And their leaders, Waddles and Razorwind!" Lolph says, "That's a pig and baby hippogriff, Blendin." Blendin yells to Dipper and Mabel, "I'll get you for this! I'll go back in time and make sure your parents never MEET!" Dipper says, "Well, we're still here." Mabel says, "Guess he forgot to go back." Hope says, "Or is unable to go back." Stan says, "Ha, you suckers! Your pockets are empty and I'm still sittin' high and dry!" The crowd boos Stan. "Boo! Ha, boo! I love it! Hey, biceps! I'm talking to you, haircut! Take you best shot!" Lolph shoots Stan down and leaves. The crowd yells in joy. Mabel says, "So I guess we never found out who was causing those time anomalies Blendin was looking for." Hope says, "Wait, Mabel; I think it was us." Mabel replies, "Ugh, my brain hurts." Dipper asks, "Oh, geez, I gotta deal with this all summer?" Robbie says while feeding Wendy caramel apple, "It's good; it's caramel." Hope asks, "Mabel?" Mabel replies, "I'm on it." She points Waddles at the apple. Waddles squeals and runs at Robbie, making him drop the apple. Waddles eats it. Robbie backs into a table and spills a buck of hot water on himself and screams, "My pants! They're shrinking!" Everyone laughs. Wendy laughs and says, "Oh man." Dipper says, "That'll do pig, That'll do." The giant baby is suspending Blendin in a void and says, "You have broken the eternal laws of space time!" Blendin says, "I beg your mercy, Time Baby!" The Time Baby replies, "You now must clean up all the anomalies!" Blendin picks up the calculator and sings to himself, "Ta tum, ta tee ta tum!" He goes to the time of the flower that was dropped. He asks a gnome, "What are you looking at?" He disappears. The code this time is: HLIIB, WRKKVI, YFG BLFI DVMWB RH RM ZMLGSVI XZHGOV. This code can be solved using the Atbash Cipher.


	10. Chapter 10: Fight Fighters

Soos is showing Hope, Mabel and Stan around an arcade, "This is it dudes, my favorite place in Gravity Falls." Hope says, "I'm guessing this is one of the places you go to on break." Soos replies, "Yup. Everything I know, I learned right here. A frog taught me how to cross a street. When my house was haunted, I learned how to eat ghosts. And this thing taught me how to dance." McGucket is dancing on a dancing machine, "Woo-hoo-hoo! I've been jiggin' here for seven days straight!" Mabel picks up the plug to the dance machine, "Uh, Soos?" The screen on the game McGucket is playing has a sign that says "Out of order." Soos says, "Let him have this." Stan walks to a new video game called "Insert Token!" and says, "Huh?" He inserts a coin. A game voice says, "Congratulations! You win!" The screen resumes saying: "Insert token!" Stan gets upset and growls. Dipper and Wendy are playing Fight Fighters, with Rumble McSkirmish and Dr. Karate as their player characters. Dipper and Wendy "Oh, oh, oh!" at each other. Dipper says, "Watch out! Wow! Ooh, cutscene!" Rumble says, "DR. KARATE, YOU KILLED MY FATHER AGAIN!" Dr. Karate goes, "HHNNGHHHH!" Rumble replies, "YOU TAKE THAT BACKKKK!" The game announcer says. "Fight!" Rumble and Dr. Karate, being controlled by Dipper and Wendy, fight each other. Dipper says, "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Go! Go!" The game announcer says, "K.O! The winner: Rumble McSkirmish!" Rumble shouts, "WINNERS DON'T LOSE!" Wendy replies, "What? You cheated." Dipper imitating Rumble, "YOU TAKE THAT BAAACK!" He laughs. Hope walks up, "Hey guys. Looks like you two are having fun." She sits down near them. The game announcer says, "Round Two!" Wendy says, "I'm gonna punch the ref." The game announcer says, "Fight!" Dipper says, "Let's gang up on him." Rumble and Dr. Karate do all of the combo moves so that they aren't hitting each other but it looks as though they are hitting the referee. Hope asks, "Why do they make it so you can't hit the ref? It's boring." Wendy laughs and replies, "It's still fun to try." Robbie is nearby, putting up a flyer. Dipper and Wendy laugh. Robbie says, "Wendy! What's up, babe? Yeah, just putting up some flyers for my band. I'm playing lead guitar. No biggie." Dipper looks skeptically at the picture of Robbie on the poster and asks, "Are you wearing mascara?" Robbie replies, "Uh, it's eye-paint for men." Wendy says, "Hey Robbie, Dipper was just showing me this great game." Robbie replies, "Ha, yeah, sweet, sweet." He then asks Dipper, "Hey, how about you sit this one out, okay champ?" Dipper replies, "But we just started this round." Robbie says defensively, "Whoa, whoa, hey! Relax man, I'm just trying to spend a little time with my girlfriend, alright?" Wendy says to Dipper, "It'll just be one round." The game announcer says, "Round Three! Fight!" Wendy and Robbie start playing the game and talking. Wendy says, "So hey, I'm gonna go camping tomorrow with my dad so, I won't be around." Robbie replies, "Oh, cool, cool, watch out!" He puts his arm over Wendy's shoulder and subtly glares at Dipper. The game announcer says, "Opponent sighted! Fight!" As this happens, Dipper glares at Robbie. Hope sees this reaction and says to herself, "Oh boy."  
Hope, Stan, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos are playing poker at the Mystery Shack, using chip snacks as poker chips. Waddles is chewing on some cards while Razorwind is watching. Mabel says, "King me!" She reveals her hand which has two Kings. Hope, Stan, Soos, and Dipper all yell, "Aww! Come on!" Stan says, "It's not fair, she doesn't even know what we're playing!" Mabel asks, "Go Fish?" Electric guitar starts playing outside the shack. Soos says, "Dude, I think I'm picking up a radio station inside my head." Mabel replies, "Try blinking to see if you can change the channel." Soos blinks, nothing happens. Robbie sings, "Wendy!" Dipper says, "Ugh, sounds like Robbie." Stan asks, "Robbie? Is he that jerky twerp I see making goo-goo eyes at Wendy all the time?" Soos says, "He called me "Big Dude" once. I mean, I know I'm a big dude, but it kinda hurt." Mabel asks, "Should I sic Waddles on him again?" Waddles chews Mabel's sweater. Mabel says, "Whoa, easy tiger." Hope asks, "Shall Razorwind and I take care of him?" Razorwind raises his wings and gives a battle grunt. Dipper gets up and says, "I'll handle it." He leaves. Hope, Stan, Mabel, and Soos say, "Ooooh!" Stan laughs and says, "Conflict!" Robbie sing, "Wendy! Wendy, Wendy!" He then shouts, "Wendy! C'mon out, girl! C'mon down!" Dipper asks, "You realize she's not here, right?" Robbie scoffs and replies, "Yes!...What?" Dipper says, "She's out camping with her family today." He then says quietly, "And if you listened to her for once you'd know that." Robbie asks, "What was that?!" Dipper replies, "I-just said she's not here." Robbie asks, "No, no, no! You want to get into it, huh? Let's get into it, kid! You think I don't know what's been going on, huh? It's obvious you've got a thing for my girlfriend, don't you? Don't you?!" Dipper replies, "What? No! C'mon, man!" Robbie says sarcastically, "Yeah, I'm sure she's just DYING to ask out a 12-year old kid who wears the exact same shorts every day. Hey, here's an idea." He pulls out his cell phone and calls Wendy and asks Dipper, "Why don't I call her right now and see if she wants to go out on a date with you?" Dipper says, "Hey! Look-! Don't! You don't have to-!" Robbie, mimicking Dipper, "Oh! Don't! Please, man!" He holds up the phone and asks in his normal voice, "What're you gonna do, huh? What, huh?" Wendy, on the phone, "Hello?" Dipper smacks Robbie's cell phone out of his hand, making it hit the ground and break. Robbie shouts, "My phone!" Dipper says, "I-I'll buy you a new one!" Robbie replies, "Oh no, you're not getting off that easy!" He lifts Dipper up by the collar and prepares to hit him. Stan pokes his head out of window and says, "Hey! I know a fight when I see one! Stay right there!" He closes the window. Robbie throws Dipper to the ground and says, "You. Me. Circle Park. 3 o'clock." While, walking away, "We finish this." Stan arrives with a bucket of popcorn and says, "Aw, he's gone! I was just gonna call the boys over to place a few bets!" He chews some popcorn, "The smart money's on Skinny Jeans." Back in the living room with Hope, Soos, Stan, Mabel, Waddles, Razorwind, and Dipper, who is pacing back and forth. Dipper yells, "What was I thinking?! I can't fight! I've never been in a fight before! Look at these noodle arms!" He waves his arms. Stan says, "Just bonk him over the head! It's nature's snooze button!" Mabel asks, "Boys! Why can't you learn to hate each other in secret? Like girls do!" Stan snickers and replies, "Sure, listen to your sister! Maybe you can share dresses too!" He laughs. "BOOM!" Hope says, "Men act like this because they feel the need to show off their superiority to ladies. The stronger the man, the higher chances of getting a mate." Dipper says, "Maybe he'll just forget about it. Maybe it'll all blow over." Soos says, "I don't know, Dipper. Teenagers are dangerous. Those hormones turn them into like, killing machines!" Dipper asks, "R-Really?" Soos replies, "Oh yeah, dude. My cousin Reggie got in a fight with a teen once. The guy broke like, all his arms, all his legs, and I think, killed him or something, I don't know. Me and Reggie were just talking about it." Dipper backs up into a corner and says, "I can't stay here! What if Robbie comes back!? I gotta hide!" Stan says, "Look, kid. You got yourself a choice here. You can either go face him like a man, or you can hide indoors like a wimp. What'll it be?" Dipper silently ponders what Stan said. Dipper is hiding under the Fight Fighters game machine, while Hope is playing on it with Razorwind watching. Hope says to Dipper, "Wimp it is." Dipper replies, "C'mon Hope, Robbie's twice my size. I mean, what will getting myself killed accomplish? I just need to hide here until 3 o'clock passes." He looks at his watch; it turns into 11:30. "Ugh, this day will never end!" Hope says, "Relax, Dipper. Just try not to think about Robbie." Dipper screams as he looks up at dozens of posters for Robbie's band, all with their slogan: "You're dead!"

At the Mystery Shack, on TV, Sassica berates a teenage girl, "Girl, why you 'ackin so cray-cray?" The audience cheers. The TV announcer says, "Why You Ackin' So Cray-Cray? will be back in a moment." Mabel says to Waddles, "Ugh, poor Dipper. Hiding from Robbie, unable to face his fears." Waddles oinks in response. Stan walks into the kitchen and says, "Fears are for chumps. That's why I don't have any." He tries to reach an item on a shelf and grunts while trying. Mabel asks, "You want me to go get a ladder?" Stan replies, "We don't have one." Mabel asks, "What?" Stan replies, "You know, studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That's why I own ten guns, in case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder." Mabel asks suspiciously, "Grunkle Stan, why you ackin' so cray-cray?" Stan replies, "YOU'RE the one who's "ackin' cray-cray!"" He leaves saying, "I gotta go now." Mabel says, "Why would Grunkle Stan be so weirded out by ladders? Of course! I think he has a secret fear of heights! We'll have to test him to be sure! Or we could leave well enough alone...Nah!"

Soos is in the arcade, playing NORT. His avatar falls over. Soos says to himself, "Man, I wonder what it would be like to go inside a video game for real!" He drills his way into the arcade game itself. "I should have thought of this years ago!" He tries to squeeze in. Dipper is now playing Fight Fighters, with Hope and Razorwind watching. He then says, "Stupid Robbie. Such a jerk!" The game announcer says, "Round One! Fight!" Dipper loses the first round. "K.O! Continue?" Rumble says, "A WINNER NEVER RUNS AWAY FROM A FIGHT!" Dipper sighs and says, "That's easy for you to say, you have more than one life. Ugh, I wish one of these guys would fight Robbie for me." Hope says, "Like that will ever happen?" Dipper starts to insert another coin, but drops it and it rolls onto the floor. He bends down to pick it up and notices something written on the machine, and brushes off the dust, revealing the text; Reading the message, ""To unleash ultimate power?" I do like things that are ultimate." Hope says, "Of course you do." Dipper says while entering the code, "Back, back, hold, forward, back, forward, down, hold, quarter circle, forward, triple punch!" The machine shuts down. "I guess it didn't work." The screen flares back to life. "Uhhh Soos?" The game announcer says, "SELECT YOUR CHARACTER!" Dipper replies, "Uhhh... Rumble McSkirmish?" Rumble materializes outside of the game and says, "Kick kick kick kick KICK!" Hope replies, "Whoa. Didn't see that coming." Razorwind has his mouth wide open in shock. Dipper replies, "Whoa! You're real?" Dipper and Rumble both say, "HIGH FIVE!" They high five. Dipper says, "Ow! Your pixels are really sharp! Ugh!" Rumble says, "GREETINGS, CHILD-BOY, WOLF DRAGON AND EAGLE HORSE! I AM RUMBLE MCSKIRMISH, FROM THE U.S.A! PUNCH! KICK! PUNCH! KICK!" He kicks Dipper. Dipper says, "Ow! Cool!" Hope asks, "Are you okay?" Rumble spots a change machine and yells, "CHANGE MACHINE! CHANGE ME INTO A POWERFUL WOLF! HWAAAAH!" He smashes change machine. Dipper say to himself, "With Rumble around, Robbie will be so scared, I won't even need to fight him. I've got the world's greatest fighter to be my bodyguard!" Hope say to Razorwind, "I got a bad feeling about this." Razorwind nods in agreement. Rumble flashes red and says, "I need power ups!" Dipper says, "This is so amazing! I gotta show Soos!" He looks around and asks, "Soos?" Hope replies, "He should be somewhere in the arcade." A man walks up to NORT machine and screams upon seeing Soos literally inside the game. Soos pleads, "Help, I'm trapped in the game! It was cool in theory but in practice it was really boring." Man screams and runs away. Soos says, "It's not just a game anymore!"

Back at the Mystery Shack, Mabel says, "Alright, Waddles. It's time to begin. Operation Get Stan Over His Fear of Heights! I came up with that name." She walks over to where Stan is sleeping on the couch; to Stan, "HAPPY GREAT UNCLE'S DAY!" Stan wakes up and is handed a present by Mabel and asks, "Huh? Is it Great Uncle's Day?" Mabel says, "Ha ha, yeah of course it's not a day I made up." Stan opens the box and pulls out high heels and asks, "High heels? You shouldn't have. Seriously, wha- what? What is this?" Mabel asks, "What's wrong? Are you saying these heels are TOO high? Do they make you uncomfortable? Hmm?" Stan replies, "Maybe." Mabel says, "Admit it! Admit you have a fear of heights!" Stan adjusts the television's antennae and says, "What? That's why you bought me these? You should be ashamed of yourself! And on Great Uncle's Day no less. But no, I don't have a "fear of heights."" The TV announcer says, "We now return to "World's Most Terrifying Skydiving!"" Stan says, "Ah! Ah! Turn it off!" He trips over the dinosaur skull. "So I have a fear of heights. Is that really so cray-cray?"

In the kitchen, Rumble attacks fly; laughs. Dipper says while checking the refrigerator, "Well, we don't have any traditional power ups: turkey legs, pizza boxes, or gold rings. How about...half a taco?" Rumble says, "Place it, on the floor." Dipper puts the taco on the floor, Rumble looks at it, it disappears and then reappears in his power-ups menu. Hope replies, "That's kinda cool." Dipper replies, "I wish I could do that!" Rumble says, "Now I must defeat the world's greatest fight-fighters. Take me to the Soviet Union!" Dipper replies, "That's gonna be tough...for a number of reasons. But I do know a fighter here in Gravity Falls." Rumble asks, "Maximum Power?" Dipper gives Rumble one of Robbie's band posters and replies, "His name is Robbie V. and he's kinda like my arch enemy." Rumble asks, "Did he kill your father?" Dipper replies, "Well he's dating the girl I like and he posts a really annoying amount of status updates." Rumble crumples the poster and says, "And then he killed your father!" Dipper replies, "Uh, sure. Anyway, I was hoping you could, y'know, scare him off for me so I don't have to fight the guy." Rumble says, "Hahaha! Your question makes my shoulders bounce! Fireball!" He shoots a Hadouken at the window, does the actions as he says them. "Uppercut! Downer-cut! Bowl of PUNCH!" He drinks from punch bowl and then smashes it. Dipper asks, "So you'll protect me from Robbie?" Rumble replies, "Challenge accepted! Press start!" A start button appears. Hope says, "Dipper, something tells me that this is a really bad idea." Dipper replies, "It'll be fine, Hope." He presses the button. "Uh oh, I think I hear my uncle. Stay perfectly still!" Dipper and Hope are standing next to Rumble, who is rocking back and forth in a fighting stance. Hope says, "He said stay still." Rumble says while rocking back and forth, "This is as still as I can stay!"

In the attic, Mabel asks herself, "How am I gonna get Grunkle Stan over his fear of heights?" Dipper walks in with Hope and Rumble and says, "Hey Mabel. Have you met Rumble yet? He's my new bodyguard." Rumble says, "The child gave me a taco!" Hope says, "Dipper brought him to life from a video game." Mabel says, "Wow! He's got a crazy voice! Here, say these words." She writes words on a piece of paper and hands them to Rumble. Rumble reading off the list, "Effer...vescent! Apple..fritter! RIBOFLAVIN!" Dipper says, "Mabel, he's not a toy, he's a fighting machine. I'm gonna get him to defend me from Robbie." Mabel asks, "Isn't that kinda like cheating?" Dipper replies, "I guess so. Well, I'll see you after the fight." Rumble, still reading from the list, "POOP! POOP AND BUTTS!" Hope says, "You can stop now, Rumble."  
Hope, Dipper and Rumble are now out on Main Street. Rumble says, "Tell me my opponent's special moves." Dipper says, "Don't worry. As soon as he sees you, he's gonna wet his pants." Rumble says, "His wet pants will be no match FOR THIS!" Picks up a metal pipe and whips it around. Hope asks, "Whoa! Where'd that came from?" Rumble says, "I punched an oil drum!" Dipper says, "Trust me, you won't need that. Just give him a good scare." Rumble replies, "Yes…" He picks up a sword. "WITH THIS!" He swings sword around. Hope says, "This street has really dangerous litter."

Back as the Mystery Shack, Stan is drinking Pitt Cola in the living room. Mabel creeps up behind his chair and shouts, "HEY GRUNKLE STAN!" Stan spits his drink out in surprise. Mabel asks, "How would you like to go take a walk nowhere in particular while wearing a blindfold?" Stan replies, "Eh, beats just sittin' around here being old." He gets up, pauses and then starts to sit back down. "Wait a minute...you're not planning on taking me someplace super high up, are you?" Mabel replies, "Grunkle Stan! I would never!" She puts on a scout's honor sweater. "Scout's honor!" Stan says, "Alright, let's go." Stan walks away, and Mabel turns around to reveal the back of the sweater has crossed fingers on it. She chuckles mischievously and pulls her tucked hair out of the sweater so that it's covering the crossed fingers.

Robbie is waiting in Circle Park. Three bells ring. Robbie approaches Hope and Dipper and says, "Well, well, well! Look who decided to show up! I thought you chickened out. You ready to settle this like men?" Dipper replies, "Look dude, I don't think you want to fight me. Let's just call this thing off before someone gets hurt." Hope adds, "I'd heed his warning if I were you." Robbie asks, "You scared, huh? Is that it?" Hope says, "We tried to warn him." Dipper says, "Okay, dude! You asked for it!" He snaps his fingers. Rumble comes out from the dark and assumes fighting pose. Robbie asks, "Who's your friend? And why is he...blurry?" Hope replies, "He's more pixally." Dipper replies, "This happens to be the greatest warrior that ever lived!" Robbie asks, "Yeah, right! Hey Eye Patch, what did the kid promise you? More tape for your forearms?" He laughs. Rumble yells, "HOW CAN YOU LAUGH, WHEN YOU KILLED THIS BOY'S FATHER?!" Robbie asks confused, "Wait, what?" Dipper says, "I'm giving you one last chance, back down, or this guy's gonna go nuts." Robbie asks, "How 'bout YOU back down, kid?" Dipper replies, "You asked for it. Rumble? Go!' Robbie laughs and ducks Rumble's punch and asks, "What the-?" He tries to run away, but Rumble picks him up. "Whoa! Hey! What's happening?" Dipper says, "I didn't wanna have to do this, man, but you gave me no choice. Maybe now, if you-" Rumble laughs and slams Robbie to the ground. Hope flies in and yells, "Whoa! Rumble! You can stop! I think Robbie's had enough-" Rumble yells, "RUMBLE…" He throws Robbie high in the air. "...THROW!" Hope yells, "STOP! I SAID STOP!" Robbie lands on metal bars and yells, "Hey! What the-? THAT GUY'S CRAZY!" Rumble yells, "FIREBALL!" He throws a fireball, which hits the bars and Robbie runs off. Dipper says, "What the heck was that?! You were only supposed to scare him; you almost killed him!" Rumble yells, "I WILL NOT REST UNTIL THE MAN WHO DISHONORED YOU IS DESTROYED!" He punches Robbie's band poster and runs after him while screaming. He jumps up and punches an electric pole and yells, "PUNCH!" Dipper say, "This isn't good." Hope adds, "I told you this was a bad idea." Dipper replies, "You were right, Hope. I should have listened to you. Now we have to find Robbie before he gets hurt." Hope nods, puts Dipper on her back, and flies off.

Hope and Dipper arrive at Barrels & Crates, Incorporated. Dipper gets off Hope and says, "Something told me this would be his first stop." Robbie runs out of the building and starts down the fire escape. Rumble Breaks through the wall with a barrel. Rumble shouts, "AHA!" He throws a barrel at Robbie. Robbie ducks to avoid the barrel and yells, "Chill out man! Just chill out!" Dipper says, "Please, Rumble! You gotta stop!" Rumble throws down barrels at Robbie, which Robbie jumps over, imitating Donkey Kong, then continues chasing him. Hope and Dipper chase after them and Hope yells, "Rumble, wait!" Rumble yells, "Punch punch punch!" A "Go!" sign appears. Dipper runs and yells, "You don't have to do this! At least pace yourself…" He starts to slow down as he gets a cramp in his side. "You might get a cramp-" He stops. "Ah!" A man is giving his son a key of a car. The son says, "I love you, Dad." Robbie runs by, and Rumble chases him. Then the scene changes to Rumble's bonus round, causing Rumble to destroy the car. Rumble gets a perfect score. The boy drops down on his knees. The son's words appear above him as he says them, "Oh! My car." The man says, "We'll just buy another one." The son replies, "I love being rich." Rumble chases Robbie through an outdoor barbecue and yells, "ALL YOU CAN EAT!" He smashes the grill. Dipper splashes water on his face and continues chasing after them but then stops and pants. Hope asks, "Wanna ride on my back?" Then, Soos pulls up in his pick-up truck. Dipper asks, "Soos! Where you been?" Hope asks, "What happened to you?" Soos replies, "Uh," He gestures to the NORT frame around his neck. "long story, man. Dude, you see that video game guy tearing up everything in sight?" He laughs and says, "That's crazy!" Dipper says, "Yeah, I kinda sorta brought him to life to be my bodyguard. But now I have to stop him before he kills Robbie!" Soos asks, "You need an amiable sidekick with a pickup truck?" Dipper replies, "You know we do." He and Hope get into the truck.

At the water tower, Mabel and Stan are on it wearing blindfolds. Mabel says, "Take off your blindfolds...now!" Stan removes his blindfolds and sees the great height he's at and says, "Yeah, that's pretty much what I was expecting." Mabel says, "You're doing better than I thought! Now let go of the handrail…" Stan says with a death grip on the railing; In a high-pitched voice, "Nope." Mabel asks, "Hey, do you smell anger and hormones?" Robbie runs up the water tower and says, "Finally! I'm safe!" Mabel yells, "Hey, Robbie! Get your own water tower!" Robbie says, "SSSHHHHH! Keep it down! He'll find us!" Rumble yells, "CHALLENGER SIGHTED!" Robbie screams. Soos pulls up in his truck and says to Hope and Dipper, "Time to save the day, dudes." Rumble yells, "YOU CAN HIDE, BUT YOU CANNOT HIDE!" Dipper runs up to Rumble and yells, "Rumble! This has to stop! Please! Listen to me!" Hope yells, "Cut it out, man!" Rumble kicks the water tower, making it lean. Mabel asks, "What's happening!?" Stan replies, "Oh boy…" Mabel asks, "We're safe, right?" Stan yells, "Of course not! This thing is on stilts! High high up!" Robbie falls off the water tower and is caught by Rumble. The game announcer yells, "FINISH HIM!" Robbie pleads, "No no no, don't! Don't finish me!" Rumble gathers up fireball, which is vaporized when a coin hits his head and exclaims, "HWUUUUAAAAAAAAA?!" Dipper yells, "RUMBLE!" Hope throws aside two black planks she was using to make a cutscene effect. "Rumble! I have something to tell you! Robbie...Robbie didn't kill my father" Rumble asks, "HUUUUUH? THEN WHO DID?" Dipper replies, "What? No one. I-I lied to you." Rumble yells, "HWUUUHH? WELL THEN YOU'RE ACTUALLY A...BAD GUY!" Dipper says, "I guess I kinda am…" Rumble hangs Robbie from a tree by his hood, and a cut scene begins. Rumble says, "My entire journey, a lie! My honor has been disgraced! Sensei warned me not to join the path of evil...the boy has led me astray!" He says to Dipper, "If Robbie V. is not the last stage, then it must be...YYYYYOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU!" A "START" button appears next to Dipper. Soos runs up to Dipper and says, "Don't fight him, man! That guy's got like a black belt wrapped around his black belt. You could get killed!" Dipper replies, "I have to. I started all this and I've got to at least try to stop it." Hope asks, "You sure you wouldn't rather hide like a wimp?" Dipper hits the "START" button. Hope, next to Soos, says, "Fight like a man it is."

The game announcer asks, "READY?" Dipper and Rumble's health bars fill up. Rumble gets into a fighting stance and Dipper gets into a fighting stance that mimics his. "FIGHT!" Rumble charges at Dipper and yells while Dipper charges at Rumble and yells. Rumble then yells, "FIREBALL THROW LIGHTNING BALL THROW! FIRE!" He throws it and misses Dipper. Kicks Dipper, causing his health to drop dramatically. He laughs and yells, "YOU FIGHT LIKE A GIRL! WHO IS ALSO A BABY!" Dipper yells, "Urr!" He runs and uppercuts Rumble in slow motion and yells while Soos yells in slow motion, "DUUUUUUUUDE!" Hope also yelled, "YYYEEEAAAHHH!" Rumble falls to the ground. Dipper says, "Yes!" Rumble's health goes down by 0.5%. "Oh no." He runs away from Rumble, screaming. Soos climbs a tree and waves arm in front of Rumble's health, which slightly blurs but doesn't disappear. He grunts while trying. He stops swinging at health bar and says, "Well, it was worth a shot." Hope says, "Stupid pixels." Rumble throws another fireball and misses and Dipper climbs up a tree. Rumble paces around under him and yells, "NO! I HAVE NO LOOKING UP! ANIMATION!" He tries to look up. "AAAAAAAAAAA…" He falls flat to the ground. Dipper laughs, jumps down from the tree and asks, "So, what should I do, roll him up and put him on my wall?" Soos says, "Dude, we should rock paper scissors for him!" Hope says, "I feel like we're celebrating too soon." Rumble yells, "FIST! PUNCH! RAAAAAIIIIINNNN!" Fists rain on Hope, Dipper and Soos. He gets up. "NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THAT I HAVE PUNCHES!" He starts flaming and yelling. He punches Dipper repeatedly, The game announcer yells, "SUPER POWER NINJA TURBO NEO ULTRA HYPER MEGA MULTI ALPHA META EXTRA UBER PREFIX...COMBO!" A small twinkle of light appears on a black screen, then a mushroom cloud shaped like a fist appears. Dipper is lying on the ground, badly beaten. He says to Rumble, "You, sir, truly are the greatest fighter ever." The game announcer says, "RUMBLE WINS!" Rumble says, "WINNERS DON'T LOSE!" Dipper says, "I wouldn't be too sure about that, man." The game announcer says, "GAME OVER!" Rumble disintegrates and yells, "HEH?! NO! NOOOOOOO!"

Dipper says, "Game over, old friend." He collects points and writes "DIP" into the high score entry in the air. Soos says, "Heh! Nice one, dude!" Hope then says, "Way to go, Dipper" Mabel and Stan are clinging to the water tower. Mabel says, "I'm sorry, Grunkle Stan! I thought this would help, but I was wrong! So wrong!" Stan yells. "I-I survived! I survived and I feel great! Wait, let me do a cocky dance just to be sure." As he does his cocky dance, "Alala-loo-doodly-doo-doodly-doo! HAHA! DEAL WITH IT WORLD! STAN PINES HAS CURED HIS FEAR OF HEIGHTS!" He starts down ladder and stops when he notices that Mabel isn't coming. "You comin', kid?" Mabel replies, "Uh-uh." Stan asks, "What's the matter, YOU got a fear of heights, now?" He laughs and pauses and says, "Uh-oh." Robbie unhooks his hood from the tree branch and asks Dipper, "What? Who-who-who was that guy?! Why is it that whenever you're around, there's always ghosts or monsters, or whatever?!" Dipper replies, "I don't know, man." Robbie yells, "That guy almost broke my neck! You know how mad I am right now?!" Dipper replies, "So I guess you and I have to fight now, huh? Go ahead, man. Do your worse. I just want to get this over with." Robbie says, "Oh, man! I am so gonna enjoy this!" He raises his fist and asks, "Aren't you gonna run?" Dipper replies, "Nope." Robbie asks, "...Are you sure?" Dipper nods. Robbie pauses, scoffs, and says, "It's not even worth it! I play lead guitar so I gotta save my hands."  
Wendy walks up to Dipper and Robbie and says, "Hey guys! I heard some crazy screaming back here." Dipper and Robbie say, "Wendy?" Hope flies in and says, "You're back!" Wendy asks, "Yeah, man. Whoa! What the heck happened here? Freak tornado or something?" Hope, Dipper and Robbie reply, "Uh, yeah, sure." Wendy asks, more to Dipper and Robbie, "And why are your faces all jacked up? You guys weren't fighting each other, were you? I hate it when guys fight." Dipper says, "No! Fighting?" Robbie adds, "Why would we be fighting? Never!" Hope says, "Yeah, they actually fell over trying to stop two other guys from fighting each other." Wendy says, "Cool! It really makes me happy to see Hope and my two boys hanging out. I got some unpacking to do. I'll text you guys later." She kisses Robbie and pats Dipper, then leaves. Dipper says, "Did you hear that? She called me one of her two boys!" Robbie says, "She was looking at me, though." Dipper says, "Look, Robbie, if we're stay at each other's throats, we're both gonna lose Wendy. We need to make a cold war pact." Robbie replies, "Okay. What's that?" Hope says, "You need to learn to hate each other, in silence." Robbie asks, "You mean like, what girls do?" Dipper replies, "Yeah, exactly! What girls do."

Dipper, Robbie, and Wendy are at the cash register in the Mystery Shack. Wendy says while brushing her hair, "So, then I told Thompson, "Hey, save some for the rest of us!"" Dipper and Robbie laugh. Robbie says, "Good one, Wendy!" Then Dipper says, "Good one, Wendy. That's great!" Wendy drops her hairbrush and says, "Aw, man. Just a sec." She bends down to retrieve it. Robbie and Dipper glare at each other. Robbie slits his throat, while Dipper points at him and then makes a fist and growls. Wendy stands back up, having found the hairbrush and resumes brushing her hair, "So as I was saying…" Dipper laughs and says, "So fun. Yeah." He laughs again while Robbie laughs and says, "Yeah, no. You're the best." He laughs and says, "Great. Totally friends. We're all friends." Hope, Dipper, Stan, Mabel, and Wendy are shown in front of the Mystery Shack in video game graphics. Dipper says, "I'm Dipper. I have shorts and determination!" Mabel says, "It's a-me! A-Mabel!" Stan says, "I'm slower, but I jump higher." Wendy says, "Pick me or whatever." Hope says, "Hope here, ready to fight!" Soos eats them like Pac-man. He then wakes up in the Gift Shop and says, "Alas. Twas not but a dream." He lays back down on the checkout counter and closes his eyes. "Om. Nom. Nom. Nom. Nom. Nom. Eating my friends. Nom. Nom." The code this time is: HLIIB, WRKKVI, YFG BLFI DVMWB RH RM ZMLGSVI XZHGOV. It can be solved using the Atbash Cipher.


	11. Chapter 11: Little Dipper

Sorry this one is released late. The computer's making it so it takes a long time to do. Expect any new chapters either on Sunday, or within a day or two after.

Gideon is seen at his desk as he talks to himself, "Zombie attack? Never works, they don't take orders. Blood rain? Ew, mess up my suit," He chuckles to himself and continues, "No thank you. Demon Caterpillars? DRAT!" He shuts his journal. "There must be a perfect way to exact vengeance on the Pines family. It's not enough to harm 'em, I need to take something from them. Something that'll give me ultimate power. Wait, of course!" He picks up his model of the Mystery Shack and whispers, "It's perfect…" Inside the Mystery Shack, Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Stan Pines are watching TV. Stan is on the couch, Dipper is sitting on top, Mabel is upside down on the dinosaur skull that's used for a table, and Hope is on the floor. The constable on TV says, "You've gone too far this time, Duck-tective!" Duck-tective replies, "Quack quack, quack quack quack quack." Hope says, "I knew that duck would go mad one day." The doorbell rings and everyone looks towards the front door. Stan opens the door and says, "Welcome to a world of mystery!" An unnamed man who looks like a lawyer asks, "Stan Pines?" Stan lifts the patch over his right eye and yells, "The tax collector! You found me!" He throws a smoke bomb at the ground to distract the man, then runs inside and rips off a decoration, revealing a bag with money in it. He then searches the tiles of the wall and asks, "Aah...uh...which one of these is the trap door?" The man enters the shack and says, "Mister Pines. I'm from the Winninghouse Coupon Savers contest, and YOU ARE OUR BIIIIIIG WINNER!" A cameraman comes in along with two women holding a check for 10,000,000 Dollars and balloons. After confetti gets thrown, Stan replies, "Heh? My one and only dream, which was to possess money, has come true!" Hope, Dipper, and Mabel are now standing on the floor. Dipper says, "We're rich! I'm gonna get a butler!" Mabel says, "I'm gonna buy a talking horse!" Hope says while stretching, "I'm gonna get a personal masseuse." The man continues, "Just sign here for the money." Stan replies, "You bet!" He then signs the paper. Gideon rips through the check and yells, "Ha!" As the cameraman and women leave, Gideon continues, "Stanford, you fool! You just signed over the Mystery Shack to lil' ol' me!" He then sings and dances as Hope, Dipper and Mabel gasp. Stan replies with a smirk on his face, "Uh, might wanna take another look there!" Gideon reads from contract, "The shack is hereby signed over to...SUCK A LEMON LITTLE MAN"?! Stan laughs at this. Gideon rips the paper and yells, "How dare you!" Hope, Dipper, Mabel also laugh. Gideon says, "I am not a threat to be taken lightly!" He reaches for the man and says, "Come here hon', I need your arms." The man lifts up Gideon, who continues, "I'll get you, Stanford Pines! I'LL GET YOU ALL!" The man carries him out Stan asks, "Wanna see what else is on TV?" As they walk back into the living room, Dipper replies, "Yeah, OK." Mabel replies, "Yeah, alright." Hope replies, "Yeah." Mabel adds, "My favorite part's the theme song."

Mabel is now playing chess with Dipper as Hope watches and Soos sets up display cases with Stan bobble heads. Mabel says, "Little guy to black space nine!" Hope says, "It's a pawn, that's not your color, and stop stealing the tiny horses!" Mabel, with a bunch of knight chess pieces in her sweater pocket, replies, "They like it better in here. Don't you babies?" She makes horse a noise. Dipper knocks over the king and says, "And...checkmate!" Mabel asks, "What? Boo!" Dipper replies, "O-oh! Dipper wins again!" He adds a tally mark to the "Dipper" part of a notebook which keeps track of wins and losses. Dipper's part has 85, Mabel's part has zero, and Hope's part has 50. Hope says, "You keep bragging like that Dipper, karma's gonna get you." Soos asks, "Yo, Mabel? Can you pass me that brain in the jar? The lady one?" Dipper replies, "I got it." Soos says, "Thanks, but Mabel's taller." Dipper says, "What? No she's not. We're the same height. We've always been." Hope says, "We should check, just to be sure." Dipper and Mabel line up to measure height. Soos measures their height with a tape measure and says, "Yep, she's got exactly one millimeter on you!" Dipper asks, "What?!" Mabel replies, "Woah, don't you see what's happening, Dipper? This millimeter is just the beginning. I'm evolving into the superior sibling! Bigger! Stronger!" Soos says, "Like some kinda alpha-twin!" Mabel chants, "Alpha-twin! Alpha-twin!" Dipper says, "C'mon, guys, nobody even uses millimeters. It only makes you taller than me in Canada." Mabel says, "Y'know Dipper, I've always wanted a little brother. Who knew I already had one?" She laughs and says, "Yeah!" Hope butts in and says, "Mabel, can you knock it off? Besides, male humans usually grow taller, so this alpha twin thing isn't gonna last forever." Stan rubs his eyes and says, "I was awoken by the sound of mockery. Where is it? Show me the object of ridicule!" After he cracks his knuckles, Mabel replies, "I'm taller than Dipper!" Dipper adds, angrily, "By ONE millimeter." Stan says, "Hey, hey, don't get...short with your sister." He laughs. Mabel says, "Now Grunkle Stan, I hope you don't think little of him." Stan laughs and says, "Ya! And, and uh...he's short!" Mabel and Stan laugh more. Soos says, "Dude, maybe you should lay off a tiny bit." Stan says, "Ha! Tiny!" He slaps his hand on Soos' back as he says, "Soos is in on it now!" Mabel and Stan laugh even more as Dipper leaves. Hope says, "Dipper, wait up." She leaves after him. Soos then says, "N-no, I didn't mean that." Mabel says, "Dipper will forget. He's got a 3...2...1…" Mabel and Stan say at the same time, "SHORT-TERM MEMORY!" After another round of laughter, Mabel yells, "POW! We are on FIRE!" Mabel and Stan high-five. Stan winces and says, "Ow, ooh, that's, aah." Mabel replies, "I high-five hard."

Dipper is now upstairs as he says to himself, "Ugh! Stupid Mabel! I'm not short!" He reaches for Journal 3, but he can't reach it. He then says. "Oh, come on." Hope has now entered the room as she grabs the journal and hands it to Dipper and says, "Here you go." Dipper takes the journal and says, "Thanks. There's gotta be some way to get taller." He looks through the book. "Let's see…" He reads, "Legends of miniature buffalo and giant squirrels have led me to believe there are height altering properties hidden deep within the forest." Hope and Dipper are now walking through the forest as Hope says, "It should be around here. Are you sure you wanna do this, Dipper?" Dipper replies, "I'm sure Hope. I don't wanna hear Mabel gloating about being the alpha twin for the rest of my life." Hope looks around and says, "You do kind of deserve it though." Dipper looks at Hope and asks, "What do you mean?" Hope replies, "It's something you have to find out on your own." Dipper hmms in thought, and trips over a branch exclaiming, "Ooh! Ah! Ow! Agh! Aagh." Hope floats down and asks, "Dipper, are you alright?" Dipper replies, "I think so." They notice a tiny deer standing on Dipper's chest. They both say, "Whoa." The deer runs off to more tiny deer. A tiny eagle passes by and Dipper asks, "Huh?" He gasps as he sees a mountain lion. As Hope gets into a defensive stance, Dipper asks, "Is that mountain lion tiny or just far away in perspective?" The mountain lion growls and pounces as Dipper yells, "PERSPECTIVE! PERSPECTIVE! AAAAAAH!" As Hope gets ready to use her fire, the mountain lion leaps and is frozen in a beam of pink light, which shrinks it. It then lands in Dipper's jacket. Dipper laughs from being tickled and Hope relaxes herself as the mountain lion meows and bites Dipper's finger. Dipper replies, "It still hurts, but less!" The two walk over to giant crystals and they say, "Whoa." The sees a butterfly pass through the pink light and shrink, then the blue light and grow; it knocks over a tree. Dipper asks, "What the heck?" Hope replies, "I think we found the height altering source. Dipper cuts a crystal off with a Swiss army knife.

Now in their room, Hope watches as Dipper has tied the crystal he took in front of a flashlight. It shines blue, then Dipper rotates it so it shines pink. He points it to a pawn piece and says, "Smaller." It makes the pawn smaller. Dipper flips the crystal, points it to the same paw, and says, "Bigger." It makes the pawn bigger and it breaks through the roof. Dipper yells, "TOO BIG!" Hope says, "We'd better fix that before someone notices." Dipper replies, "Yeah, after ridiculing my sister." He runs downstairs. Hope shakes her head and follows. In the gift shop, Mabel says to Soos, "I've been buying big clothes; I'll grow into them." Dipper walks in the front door with Hope behind him and asks, "Hey guys, notice anything different about me?" Soos squints at Dipper and replies, "Holy hot sauce! You've grown an extra millimeter!" Mabel asks, "Wh-wh-what?" She gets off the barrel she was sitting on and checks height with Dipper. Dipper says, "What can I say, sis? Growth spurt." Mabel replies, "Yeah, mine happened first. I'm gonna be taller in the end. It's science, Dipper" Dipper says, "What? But we're the same height now." Mabel chants, "Alpha-twin! Alpha-twin!" Hope says, "I told you, Mabel. It's not gonna last." Dipper adds, "Yeah. And something tells me I've got another growth spurt comin' on right now." He walks away and Hope follows. He grows himself taller in the attic when Mabel kicks the door open and says, "Give it up, Dipper!" She sees that he is much taller than her, gasps, and asks, "What happened?" Dipper replies, "Y'know, puberty and stuff." Mabel says, "It doesn't make any sense. Just a second ago you were-WAIT A MINUTE! This is some kinda magicky thing. Isn't it? Was it a wizard or something? There's a wizard in this closet, isn't there? ISN'T THERE?" Hope replies, "What? No!" Mabel says, "You're telling me that there is not a wizard in this closet. You're telling me that if I open this door right now-" Dipper replies, "Fine! Open it!" Mabel opens the door to reveal two shirts and a pair of boots. She then says, "An invisible wizard! REALLY, Hope and Dipper?"

At the Mystery Shack entrance, Stan opens the door, looks down, and says, "Oy, you." Gideon, with a bat in one hand, and a jar with glowing red buzzing things in the other says, "Oh, howdy Stanford! Listen closely. Inside this jar I have 1000 Cursed Egyptian super termites. Hand over the deed to your property or I'll smash this jar with a bat, and they'll devour this shack with you inside!" Stan asks, "Hey, what's that?" Gideon turns around and asks, "Huh?" Stan smashes the jar of termites, which makes the lid open, and the termites escape and attack Gideon. Gideon yells, "Oh, no! Aaaah! Get it off! Awww!" He runs away. Stan laughs and says, "Hey, Soos, get in here! I wanna take pictures of this!" Gideon says, "Y'all may have won this battle, but mark my words, Stanford! Your family has a weak spot, and I'm gonna find it! Ah! My hair!" He runs away again.

Back in their room, Mabel asks, "Does he only respond to incantations? Expecto wizzarium! Wizle! Wizar-" Hope says, "It's not a wizard! He grew himself using this magic flashlight!" Mabel says, "Lemme see that thing!" Dipper yells, "Aah!" He then runs downstairs. Mabel points to the closet and says, "I'll be back for you later." She runs after Dipper. Hope shakes her head and says, "Here we go again." Dipper and Mabel fight over the crystal flashlight while Hope tries to separate them and make a caterpillar grow larger. The caterpillar crushes a car. They all ask, "Huh?" Mabel picks up the flashlight and uses it to make her hand grow bigger. She screams and Dipper says, "It's okay it can shrink things too." He uses the flashlight to return Mabel's hand back to normal size. Mabel then says, "Normal hand karate chop!" She hits Dipper's hand and takes the flashlight. Dipper yells, "Hey!" Mabel uses the flashlight to make Dipper's head bigger. Dipper yells, "Oh Ah ah!" He hits his head on one of the Shack's pillars and yells, "Ah!" He tackles Mabel and shrinks her head with the flashlight. Mabel yells, "Ahh!" She attacks Dipper and fixes her head. Dipper says, "Hey, give it back!" Mabel yells, "Never!" Hope says, "Guys, if you keep this us it's gonna-" The flashlight flies out of their hands. Gideon says to himself, "Curse the Pines family! Curse Stan! Curse Dipper! Curse Hope! Curse—" The flashlight lands in front of him. He asks himself, "My, my, what delightful manner of a dohickery is this?" Mabel says, "Maybe he didn't see us use it and doesn't know it's a magic flashlight that can grow and shrink things." They're standing right next to Gideon. Hope asks, "Really?" Gideon turns the flashlight on and off and says, "Flick, boop, woo hoo hoo." Hope, Dipper and Mabel yell, "No, no, no-!" Gideon shrinks them. From Hope, Dipper and Mabel's view, he bellows with laughter. From a normal view he is giggling. He then puts a jar over Hope and the twins.

Bud sounds an air horn and says to his customers, "Friends, I wish I was a highway so I could have the honor of being rode upon by automobiles as fine as these ones right here." He pats a car; a hubcap falls off and possum leaps out of the hood and hisses. He then says, "Engine possum at no extra charge." McGucket yells, "I want that there car!" Hank's wife, Reginald, Unnamed red cap man and other spectators yell, "Woo hoo!" And they wave around wads of money. Gideon walks by and Bud asks, "Say there son, what's in your jar?" Gideon turns around and says, while acting cute and innocent, "That's my widdle secret!" Hank's wife, Reginald, Unnamed red cap man and other spectators reply, "Awww!" Gideon giggles, walks away and says, "Mouth-breathin' fools…" He walks inside his house to a vacuuming Mrs. Gleeful and says, "Mother." He enters his room and unscrews the jar containing Hope and the twins, spilling them out on his dresser and yells, "You three!" Mabel asks, "What are you going to do with us?" Gideon laughs and says while rubbing her head, "Why Mabel, I wouldn't hurt a hair on your itty-bitty head-if you agree to be my queen!" Mabel shoves Gideon's finger off her head and replies, "We live in a democracy! And never!" Gideon says, "Maybe you'll change your mind after THIS!" He picks Mabel up as she yells, "No! I will fight you until the day I—" She sees a bag of Gummy Koalas, gasps and says, "Gummy Koalas!" Gideon puts her in the bag and Mabel eats the candy. Gideon turns to Hope, scratches her head, and says, "You're not so harmful now, are you you little-" Hope blows fire onto his finger. He screams, and Hope takes this opportunity to grab Mabel and take her out of the bag. Mabel says, "Thanks, Hope." Hope replies, "No problem, Mabel." As Hope sets down Mabel, Gideon swats Hope towards the wall as she howls in pain. Dipper and Mabel yell, "Hope!" Hope tries to lift her wing and says, "My wing. I think he broke my wing!" Gideon yells, "Serves you right, lizard!" He separates Dipper from the girls and says, "As for you, boy…" He turns the table lamp into Dipper's face and asks, "Tell me. How exactly did you come upon this magic item? Hmm? Did somebody tell you about it? Did you...READ about it somewhere?" Dipper looks at book #3 in his jacket, looks around, and says, "Lean closer and I'll tell you!" Gideon replies, "Well don't mind if I-" Dipper sounds an air horn in his face. Gideon screams and whacks the light away. He growls and yells, "I COULD SQUASH YOU RIGHT NOW! Steel yourself, Gideon." He calms down and says, "You can use them. You can use them…"

In the Mystery Shack, Soos is setting up mirrors. Stan says, "Soos! This maze of mirrors is your best idea that I'm taken credit for yet. We're gonna make a fortune!" He takes off his hat and looks in a mirror. He asks, "Have my ears always been this big?" The phone rings. Stan yells, "I'm comin'!" Soos takes off his hat off and puts on Stan's fez and looks at himself in the mirror and says, "One day!" Stan picks up the phone and grunts. Gideon replies, "Stanford Pines, listen to me very closely. I have your ancestor, niece and nephew. Hand over the deed to the Mystery Shack right now, or great harm will befall them!" He pauses and says, "This is Gideon, by the way." Stan laughs and replies, "Oh yeah, this is gonna be your worst plot yet. They're fine. I saw them playing in the yard minutes ago." Gideon says, "I have them in my possession! You don't believe me? I will text you a photo!" Stan asks, "'Text me a photo'? Now you're not even speakin' English!" Gideon says, "But-" Stan hangs up. Gideon asks, "Hello? Hello? Arrgh!" He throws the phone at the wall and it breaks, nearly hitting Dipper. He laughs insanely and says, "What am I doing? I don't need ransom! I have THIS!" He holds up the flashlight and says, "I'll shrink Stan and take the Shack for myself!" He turns to Hope and the twins and says, "You'll be helpless to stop me. And if you step out of line, SMASH!" He pulls the heads off of the Pines dolls and laughs evilly. Bud yells, "Gideon! The ice cream truck is here!" Gideon says, "Oh! Coming!" He giggles, puts hamster down next to Hope and the twins, and says, "Guard them, Cheekums. I'm coming!" He runs off and pants.

Dipper picks up a Q-tip and pokes the hamster with it. Cheekums squeaks. Dipper says to the girls, "We've gotta get out of here and save Stan!" Hope says, "I know!" Mabel puts a Gummy Koala head in her sweater's pocket and says, "I will see you later." Dipper says, "Okay, how are we going to do this. Gideon's got magic and, like, a zillion inches on us. On the bright side, at least we're finally the same height again." Hope replies, "Actually…" Dipper finds a ruler and measures them and asks "You're still taller? Arrgh! How did this happen?" Mabel replies, "I guess it's another mystery." Dipper says, "Just another reason we've gotta get that flashlight back." As Hope makes a cast out of a popsicle stick and some string, Dipper looks down at the carpet. Mabel yells while sitting on Cheekums, "Cheekums, to freedom!" She pats Cheekums. She yells again, "To freedom!" She pats Cheekums again. She then says, "Oh, you're just a big old dummy-dum!" Dipper looks at Gideon's hairbrush and says, "I have a plan." Hope, Dipper and Mabel slide down a rope made of Gideon's hairs, then they hide in a shoe and peek out at Gideon and Bud, who are eating ice cream while the flashlight sits on the table. Gideon yells, "Clean me!" Bud wipes Gideon's face with a cloth and Gideon asks, "Father, could you give widdle ol me a ride to the Mystery Shack?" Bud replies, "Oh, I'd love to, sugar pot, but I have a heck of a lot of cars to sell, I do!" He tickles Gideon as he continues, "I do!" Gideon laughs and says, "No, no," He then yells furiously, "NO, DON'T TICKLE MEEEE! NO!" He throws ice cream across the room where it hits a wall, just missing Mrs. Gleeful. Gideon continues, "NEVER! Never tickle me! What have I told you? What have I told—look at me—what have I told you?!" Bud replies, "Ticklin' is no laughing matter." Gideon pats him and says, "There we go." Bud asks, "Do you still need a ride?" Gideon replies, "I'll just take the BUS!" He knocks a table over, kicks the door open and leaves. Bud says, "Precious memories." Mrs. Gleeful vacuums and says, "Just keep vacuuming. Just keep vacuuming…" Dipper says, "Come on!" He, Hope and Mabel go out the dog door to the parking lot and says, "We need to get higher." Mabel replies, "Yeah, especially you, 'cause you're short." Hope yells, "Mabel! He meant up there." She points at flying discount dollar, and they climb it to see Gideon and Lazy Susan at a bus stop. Lazy Susan asks, "What cute little thing are you off to you cute little cutie-face?" Gideon replies, "I'm gonna annihilate my archenemy's entire family." Lazy Susan says with a worried face, "Oh okay…" She weakly adds, "Yaaay…" A bus drives by and Gideon enters. Dipper says, "He's heading to shrink Stan!" Mabel says, "Oh flying discount dollar, if only you could fly us back to the Mystery Shack." Hope replies, "Maybe it can." She cuts the rope with her claws, freeing the discount dollar and they start flying away. Bud sees it and spit takes and yells, "My sky high prices!" Dipper yells, "Yay!" Mabel yells, "Wooh hooo!" Hope yells, "Down there!" They push the wings to make the balloon fly lower, and follow the bus along the road. Hope, Dipper and Mabel shout, "Yeah!" Hope then yells, "To the Mystery Shack!" Dipper and Mabel yell, "Yay!"

Mystery Shack!" Dipper and Mabel yell, "Yay!"

At the Mystery Shack, the balloon has crashed on the totem pole. Dipper says, "We're just in time." He points to the arriving bus that Gideon is on and asks, "But how are we going to stop him?" A woodpecker pecks his head and he yells, "Ah shoo ah ha ah!" Mabel sees a wire leading to the roof and says, "Leave that to Mabel." Gideon walks toward the Shack while humming and says, "I'm comin' for ya, Stanford!" Mabel drops the Gummy Koala head in his hair and says, "I'm sorry, gummy friend." Dipper replies, "It's for the greater good." Gideon yells, "Ugh! One of those infernal Gummy Koalas has gotten into my perfect hair. I can't defeat Stan looking like this." He drops flashlight and walks towards a bathtub to use it as a mirror, takes out the candy from his hair and sprays on hairspray and says, "Woo! Woowee!" Hope, Dipper and Mabel run towards the flashlight and set it up. Mabel says, "Quick, get in front and I'll re-grow you." Dipper asks, "Okay. Wait, you're gonna grow us back to equal height right?" Hope replies, "Dipper! That doesn't matter right now." Dipper says, "Well if it doesn't matter, why doesn't she just do it?" Mabel screams and asks, "Why you acting so weird! Why can't you just except that I'm a little bit taller than you?" Dipper replies, "Oh, I'm acting weird? You're the one who keeps calling me names and stuff." Mabel asks, "Oh, what? You mean like little-" Dipper says, "Don't say it!" Gideon says, "Little Dipper." He picks up Hope, Mabel and Dipper. He then says, "I dare say you would have defeated me, if it wasn't for your sibling bickering!" He kicks open the door of the Mystery Shack and yells, "The Shack is mine, Stanford Pines!" He holds out flashlight and turns it on. Hope, Dipper and Mabel yell, "Noooo!" Stan's fez falls to floor.

Gideon walks towards the fez and lift it up and says, "Well, well, Stanford it appears I finally got the best of-" Soos, under the fez, says, "Oh!" Gideon asks, "What?!" Soos puts his hat back on and says, "Alright, something's definitely different here…" Gideon puts Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos in a glass jar and shakes them and yells, "Tell me where Stan is!" Soos replies, "Never! you'll never find Stan: on the second door to the left down the hall. Wait, why did I say that?" Hope yells, "Soos!" Gideon puts the jar in his suit jacket and says, "Oh Stanford, I'm coming for ya!" Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos try to break out of the jar. Mabel sees Gideon's picture on his school ID and sticks out tongue and makes a raspberry. Soos asks, "I guess I kinda Soosed that one up, didn't I?" Dipper replies, "It's not your fault, Soos, I'm the guy who put together that shrinking device." He then asks Mabel, "I guess it's just you kept teasing me Mabel, like all day. What was that all about?" Mabel gives him the notebook which keeps track of wins and losses and says, "I guess it's that, you're like better than me at like everything, and you always rub it in my face...Chess, checkers, ping pong. I guess I finally felt like I was winning at something for once." Hope says, "I told you you deserved the gloating Mabel gave you." Dipper replies, "Oh man, now I feel like a big jerk." Mabel asks, "Don't you mean a little jerk?" Dipper replies, "Oh!" Hope, Dipper, and Mabel laugh and Dipper says, "Alright I walked into that one. Are we cool?" Mabel replies, "We're cool." They fist bump. Soos asks Hope, "Am I cool?" He holds out his hand. Hope replies, "You're cool, Soos." They fist bump and Soos says, "Yes!"  
Gideon, now in the mirror room, sees multiple Stans on the mirrors and yells, "Stanford!" Stan replies, "Oh hi, Gideon, I've been looking for someone to try out my new mirror maze, then again, you're an idiot. That's the end of the sentence." He leaves. Gideon puts the flashlight in other suit pocket and yells, "You come back here!" Stan yells, "Try and find me, twerp!" He then laughs. Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos are stacked up in the jar. Mabel, on top, opens the jar. Dipper says, "Let's get back that flashlight before Gideon gets Stan." Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos peek out of Gideon's pocket Dipper yells, "There it is!" He points to the flashlight and they climb onto Gideon's back. Mabel says, "Woah! His hair's so shiny!" She approaches Gideon's hair. Hope pulls back Mabel and yells, "No! Don't look directly at it!" Soos jumps on Gideon's neck and says, "His neck is really squishy! Hey look, I'm making fat angels." Gideon yells, "Ew! Termites!" He hits the back of neck, Soos falls off. Soos, falling, yells, "Tell my storyyyyy!" He lands on a carpet and says, "Hey, there you are!" He picks up a chip and asks, "Thought you could get away from me, eh corn chip?" He takes a bite out of corn chip. Gideon is still looking for Stan in the mirror maze. Gideon sees one of Stan's reflections and yells, "AH!" He pulls out the flashlight, and shoots a beam, but it bounces around the mirrors and shrinks a moose head on the wall. Stan laughs. Gideon yells, "NOW" He throws the flashlight and breaks a mirror. Stan yells, "Hey! Watch the merchandise!" Gideon breaks more mirrors. Stan walks up to him and yells, "You little troll! Those mirrors cost me ten, I mean twenty-five, five-hundred. Five-hundred dollars each, and you're paying for all of 'em!" Gideon says, "Oh contraire. It will be you who pays!" Mabel yells, "Grunkle Stan is doomed!" Dipper says, "Not completely doomed! To his armpit!" Mabel replies, "Uh uh." Hope replies, "No way!" Dipper pushes Mabel in Gideon's clothing and says, "Just! Uh! Come on!" Hope then says, "Alright, but I'm not gonna like this." Stan asks, "Woah! What is that thing?!" Gideon replies, "Finally after all these years, after every humiliation! Your business, your family, everything will finally be mine! You have no one to protect you now!" He corners Stan to wall and says, "Prepare for the wrath of Gideon Glee-Gideon glee-" He falls to the ground and laughs uncontrollably. Stan says, "Eh. I don't even know how to respond to this." Gideon is laughing uncontrollably while Hope, Dipper and Mabel are tickling him. He yells, "Uh ey ey ey! No! No! stop it!" He keep laughing and Stan says, "Look um, kid. I think this rivalry thing is getting to you. Ha, I understand. I mean, I'm a formidable foe, what can I say." Gideon yells, "No!" Foam starts to come out of his mouth. Stan says, "Hey now, come on, you'll get me one of these days. Maybe, you know, run your evil plan by some friends next time. Workshop it, but first get your issues in order there." Gideon is still laughing uncontrollably, and Stan looks around then kicks Gideon across the floor. He says, "Up over the carpet, there we go, around the end table, and out the door." He kicks him out the door. Hope, Dipper and Mabel run on top of a rolling Gideon and say, "Ah, ah, ah, whoa!" They jump off Gideon. Gideon then pats himself looking for flashlight and yells, "My light!" Stan says sarcastically, "You're the light of my life too, pal." He closes the door and says, "Whoa, freak show."

Dipper sets up the flashlight and says, "After you." Mabel replies, "It's okay, you can go first if you want to. Woah!" She grows to normal size and re-grows Dipper and Hope with the flashlight and measures height and says, "Hey, you let me keep my extra millimeter!" Dipper replies, "You earned it." Mabel says, "Awww! Thanks! Little brothe-!" Hope says, "Stop it. Well I guess we should destroy this thing. You know, so it doesn't fall into the wrong hands and junk." Dipper replies, "Seems like the smart thing to do." He gives Mabel the crystal. Mabel smashes the crystal with her foot and yells, "Die, die!" Soos says, "There you dudes are!" Hope, Dipper, and Mabel looks down to see Soos standing in front of some glass that he has arranged to spell "HELP SOOS". He says, "I've been trying to get your attention." Mabel lifts her foot off of the shattered crystal and says, "Glue." Dipper says, "Lots of glue." Hope says, "I'll get it." She leaves to get the glue. In the Gleeful residence, Gideon paces as Bud says, "Ah, son; don't you mind that Stanford Pines. You'll get your revenge one of these days." Gideon flips a chair over madly and says, "Nooo! It's not just about revenge. I want that shack, the physical. Buildin'." Bud asks, "But why?" Gideon replies, "Because it holds a secret you couldn't possibly imagine." He laughs maniacally and Bud asks, "Sweetie, you want some ice cream?" Gideon asks, "Did you pick out all the nuts?" Bud nods and says, "Hum uh." He feeds Gideon ice cream. Gideon laughs evilly and says, "A little more." Bud feeds him again. He laughs and says, "Uhm, that's good." The doorbell rings, Stan opens door, and an unnamed man says, "Mister Pines. I'm from the Winninghouse Coupon Savers contest, and YOU ARE OUR BIIIIIIG WINNER!" Stan closes door. The man says, "I guess we'll have to give the price to our runner up winner" He reads from a paper, "Fiddleford H. McGucket?" McGucket says, "Wooh ooh ooh ey ha ha!" The unnamed man asks, "How would you like ten million dollars?!" McGucket replies, "It's my dream come true!" He happily takes the check and begins to eat it. The unnamed man says to the cameraman, "Cross this town off our list." The code this time is, GSV RMERHRYOV DRAZIW RH DZGXSRMT. It can be solved using the Atbash Cipher.


	12. Chapter 12: Summerween

We open with Stan's car crashing into a handicap parking sign. While everyone gets out of the car, Stan says, "Here we are, the Summerween Superstore!" Dipper asks, "Wait, Summer-what?" Stan replies, "Summerween!" He pulls out a calendar and continues, "The people of this town love Halloween so much, they celebrate it twice a year. And wouldn't you know it, it's today!" Dipper asks, "Do you always carry that calendar in your pocket?" Stan pauses and says, "Yes." Mabel asks, "Summerween? Something about this feels unnatural." Soos says, "There's free candy!" Dipper is pushing a wheelbarrow with Mabel in it, while she is wearing glasses with a huge nose, with Hope behind them, all yelling, "TO THE COSTUME AISLE!" Soos presses a cackling skull and it says, "I'd lend you a hand...but I don't seem to have any!" It then cackles. Soos laughs and says, "This guy tells it like it is." A store worker asks, "Sir, could you please stop pushing that?" Soos replies, "Ma'am, make these heads less hilarious, and you got yourself a deal." He presses another skull, and it cackles. The worker sighs. Stan picks up a big barrel of fake blood and says, "Ha ha! When the children come to my door tonight, they're gonna run away screaming from Stan Pines, Master of Fright!" He turns, faces a baby and says, "Boo." The baby cries as Stan laughs. Soos continues pressing the skulls and Hope, Dipper and Mabel knock over a pile of jack o' melons. Stan says while holding leaking container of fake blood, "Uh-oh. Think this one's leaking!" The worker says on her walkie talkie, "Have the police come and eject the Pines family from the store." Hope yells, "NOT TODAY!" She tosses a smoke bomb and the worker yells, "MY EYES!" The Pines and Soos run out with some Summerween stuff. Mabel asks, still in the wheelbarrow "You paid for the stuff, right?" Stan replies, "Of course!" The worker is now holding a Stan Buck. She then says, "I hate Summerween." Stan drives into an inflatable Summerween decoration, which deflates and says, "Let's move!" The car switches direction and drives away.

The Mystery Shack is all decorated for Summerween. Inside, Mabel says, "I'm so excited!" Dipper says, "We're gonna have the best costumes, get the most candy…" Mabel interrupts, "And have the biggest stomachaches ever!" Dipper says, "Yeah!" Mabel says as they high-five, "Haha, yeah!" Soos, dressed as a superhero, says, "Dude, I've never seen you guys so pumped." Mabel replies, "Well, back at home, me and Dipper were kind of the kings of trick-or-treating." While she shows a memory book of them in costumes, she continues, "Twins in costumes, the people eat it up." Soos says, "Well, you dudes better be careful out there. It's a night of ghouls and goblins. Not to mention…" He turns off the lights and shines a flashlight in his face and says, "the Summerween Trickster!" Dramatic music plays. Mabel asks, "The Summer-what-what-what?" Hope, dressed as a chimera, says, "The Trickster goes door to door, so the legend goes, eating children who lack the Summerween spirit." Dipper replies, "Well, you don't have to worry about us." He eats a piece of candy and says, "We've got spirit to go around." He coughs, and the lights turn back on as Dipper says, "Ugh! What is this stuff? I've never even heard of these brands." He shows each candy as he names them, "Sand Pop? Gummy chairs? Mr. Adequate-Bar?" Mabel says, "This is all cheap-o loser candy!" Soos says, "Quiet your discontent, children, lest the Trickster overhear." Dipper replies, "Your cape is caught in your fly, Soos." Soos says, "Touché…" He eats a gummy. Hope says, "Come on guys, that candy isn't that bad." As she eats a gummy chair, Mabel asks, "You really like all of this?" Hope replies, "I like all candy, except for licorice, only because it has anise, which is catnip for dogs." Dipper says, "Goodbye loser candy!" He throws candy out the window. Outside the shack, heavy breathing is heard. The doorbell rings and Stan says, "Trick-or-treaters. Quick! Give'em that terrible candy." Dipper opens the door and says, "Happy Summerw-AHH!" He spills the candy bowl. Robbie, with a skeleton hoodie, says, "'Sup, squirt." Wendy in a dress and skirt, says, "Hey Dipper!" Dipper says, "Wendy! Ha ha!" He backs up into staircase and says, "Ow...Wha-what's up, guys?" Wendy replies, "I left my jacket here. Again." Robbie asks, "What's with the candy? You're goin' trick-or-treating or something?" Dipper replies, "Well actually I, uh—" Wendy says, while putting on her jacket, "Shut up, Robbie, of course he's not going trick-or-treating." Dipper replies, "No! Uh, yeah." He hides the scrapbook and says, "Trick-or-treating is for babies." He laughs nervously and says, "I guess." Wendy says, "You should come to this party with us. Tambry's parents are out of town, and it's gonna be OFF THE CHAIN." Robbie says, "Not surprised you didn't hear about it." He hands Dipper a flyer. Dipper says, "Hey guys, wait! Maybe I'll see you at the party." Robbie replies, "If you're not too busy playing dress up." Wendy elbows Robbie and says, "It's at 9! Don't forget!" The van engine rumbles and drives off. Dipper looks at the flyer, then at the scrapbook. He sighs and asks himself, "How am I gonna tell Mabel?"

A wolf howls in the distance. Mabel is in the lobby, dressed as strawberry jelly. Candy and Grenda are also here, dressed as a taffy and witch, respectively. Mabel says, "Grunkle Stan, these are my best friends, Candy and Grenda." Candy says, "I am so sweet I could eat myself." Grenda says, "Hello, Mr. Pines!" Stan, who is dressed as a vampire, asks, "You got a cold, honey? Something wrong with your voice there?" Grenda asks, "What do you mean? Why would you say that?" Stan waves his cape and walks away. Candy asks, "Is Waddles coming with us?" Mabel replies, "I wish he could, but he has some very important meetings to attend!" Waddles walks in with a suit attached to his chest. He runs up to Mabel, who says for Waddles, "File these documents under 'I', for "I have a curly tail!"" Grenda and Candy laugh, and Candy asks, "What about Razorwind?" Razorwind flies in and roars, dressed like a manticore. Hope walks in and asks, "Isn't he the cutest manticore?" Razorwind roars again, making Grenda and Candy say, "Aww!" Grenda asks, "What about your brother?" Mabel replies, "Oh man guys, just wait until you see Dipper's costume! It's amazing! Here he comes now!" Dipper walks down the stairs dressed normally. Candy says, "That is a very good Dipper costume." Mabel asks, "What the hey-hey bro-bro, where's your costume?" Dipper replies, "Look, I can't go trick-or-treating. I'm...uh, really sick." He fake coughs and says, "Must have been that bad candy." He falls on floor and says, "Go on without me." Mabel says, "Fight through it, man! Where's your Summerween spirit?" Hope says, "Yeah, Dipper. You were really looking forward to this all day." Someone knocks on the door. Dipper opens it. A deep voice says, "Trick-or-treat." A tall man wearing a scarecrow like outfit and a smiling mask is holding out a bag. Dipper says, "Dude, really? You're a little old for this, man. Sorry." The man says, "But wait, I—" The door slams in his face. Hope asks, "Why'd you close the door?" Dipper replies, "I told you, Hope, I'm just not feeling it tonight." He fake coughs. Mabel says, "I think a little trick-or-treating will make you feel better." Dipper replies, "I'm not trick-or-treating!" Knocking on door again. Dipper opens the door and says, "Look man, just go to another house!" He slams the door. Hope asks, "Dipper! Where's your Summerween hospitality?" Knocking on door. Dipper says, "I'm not getting that." Mabel says, "Well I am!" She opens the door and says, "I apologize for my brother, he came down with a case of the grumpy-grumps."

The man yells, "SILENCE! You have insulted me! For this you must pay...with your LIVES." Mabel asks, "Aww, what a cute little mask! You're a funny guy, aren't you?" The man enters the Shack and asks, "Funny, am I?" A boy dressed as a pirate says, "Twik-owr-tweet! My name is Gourney." The man grabs and eats Gourney as he yells, "Remember meeee!" Hope, Razorwind, Dipper, Mabel, and Candy, scream and Grenda yells, "Gourney!" The man says, "There's only one way for you to avoid his fate." He pokes Candy on the head, Candy clutches Dipper in fright. "I need a treat. If you can collect 500 pieces of candy, and bring it to me before the last jack-o-melon goes out…" He blows out jack-o-melon and says, "I will let you live." Dipper replies, "Five hundred treats in one night? That's impossible!" The man says, "The choice is yours, children. You must trick-or-treat...Or DIE. Bwahahaha." He crawls across the Shack's roof and out of sight. Dipper asks, "Oh my gosh Mabel, do you realize what this means?" Mabel replies, "I do. It means you have to come trick-or-treating! Yay!" She shakes Dipper. Candy asks, "Who was that guy?" Hope replies, "It's the legend Soos and I told the twins about. It's true!" Razorwind hides behind Hope in fear. Grenda asks while shaking Dipper, "What do we do what do we DO!" Soos asks, "What's goin' on out here, dudes? I heard a ruckus. Hehe. That's a funny word. Ruckus." Dipper replies, "Soos, a monster is making us trick-or-treat or else he's gonna eat us!" Candy says, "I got a picture!" She shows Soos a picture she took on her phone. The picture has a pink and fluffy outline, stickers, and a Korean word. Soos says, "The Summerween Trickster! Oh man, dude, you guys are in crazy bonkers trouble." Dipper asks, "How are we gonna get that much candy in one night? There's no way!" Mabel claps and says, "Listen up, people. Now some might say that being cursed by a blood-thirsty holiday monster is a bad thing." Grenda says, "I wet myself." Mabel continues, "But that monster messed with the wrong crew. With Candy's spirit, Grenda's strength, Dipper's brains, Hope's power, Razorwind's cuteness, and...Soos here, we'll get 500 pieces of candy and have fun doing it too, even if it takes all night!" Hope, Razorwind, Soos, Candy, and Grenda cheer. Hope then yells, "To the streets!" Dipper looks at the time on the poster, looks at his watch, which says 6:00, and asks, "All night? But-but I'm sick, remember?" Mabel asks, "Dipper, what's worse: getting eaten by a horrifying monster, or coming trick-or-treating with us?" Dipper says, "Well…" Hope says, "Come on!" She grabs Dipper by the arms and leaves with, Mabel, Razorwind, Soos, Candy, and Grenda following.

Stan puts in fake fangs and says, "Ah, Summerween. Those kids aren't gonna know what hit 'em!" He looks through the window and laughs evilly. The kids ring doorbell and say, "Trick-or-treat." Stan opens the door and says, "What can I do for y—uh, ugh. Oh no! No! Augahhh!" His face melts off, revealing a skull and the kids scream and run away. Stan reveals the skull was actually a mask as he laughs and says, "Huh?" He notices that two kids haven't left. The kid dressed as a soldier asks, "Can we have candy now?" Stan asks, "What's the matter with you kids? That was the scariest thing you've ever seen, right?" The kids look at each other and the kid dressed up as a mummy motions a "so-so" with his hands. Stan says, "Well have you seen this! Ah!" He pulls a hotdog chain from costume and yells, "Guts! Real, very real guts!" The mummy kid says, "Uh, we've been watching horror movies since we were like, two years old. The soldier kid adds, "Yeah, we're not scared." Stan says, "Oh, you will be." He covers his face with his cape menacingly and says, "You will be."

Bats fly by the water tower as Trick-or-treaters are seen from above. Manly Dan and his sons are dressed as vikings as he says, "For glory, my children, CHARGE!" They smash through a door with a battering ram. People inside scream. Blubs, dressed as Durland says, "You make a great me." Durland, dressed as Blubs, says, "No, you make a great me." Blubs says, "No you do." Durland giggles. Dipper says, "I don't understand why we can't just buy our candy and be done with it." Mabel replies, "That sorta takes the fun out of trick-or-treat-or-die." Dipper says, "I'm trying to take the DIE out of trick-or-treat-or-die." Trick-or-treaters ring a doorbell. Lazy Susan answers it. She is dressed as a ball of yarn, while two of her cats, who are wearing masks, are on her. The kids say, "Trick-or-treat." Lazy Susan says, "Well aren't you just the cutest! And is everyone in costume?" She gives the kids candy and says, "Good. Wonderful." The kids reply, "Happy Summerween!" Hope, Dipper, Mabel, Candy, Grenda, and Soos say, "Trick-or-treat!" while Razorwind makes sounds that sound like trick-or-treat. Lazy Susan asks, "Is everyone in costume?" She looks at Grenda, guessing, "Chimney sweep," looks at Soos, "elephant man," looks at Candy, "squeegee," looks at Hope, "zoo," looks at Razorwind, "lion," looks at Mabel, "ant farm!" She looks at Dipper and asks, "Oh and what are you supposed to be?" Dipper replies, "Uh, actually, I'm not dressed up as anything. We're, we're kinda in a hurry, here." Lazy Susan says, "Oh. I see." She gives everyone except Dipper one piece of candy and says, "Enjoy!" Grenda asks, "One piece of black licorice?" Candy says, "Circus peanut! This is loser candy." Hope says, "Six pieces of candy?! This is gonna take forever!" Razorwind nods in agreement. Mabel says, "We've gotta up our game, Dipper. You gotta put on your costume.' Dipper replies, "I told you, I'm not up to it, Mabel!" He fake coughs. The Trickster comes out of nowhere and asks, "Oh, really?" He climbs down onto Soos from a street light, picks up a piece of candy out of Soos' bag and says, "I've seen better." He grabs a jack-o-melon and says, "Tick tock." He blows the candle out, stuffs it into his jacket, and jumps behind a house. Mabel asks, "So what was that about being too sick to wear a costume?" Dipper sighs and kicks a rock.

At the Mystery Shack, the two kids chant, "We want candy! We want candy!" Stan opens the door wearing normal clothes and says, "Alright, you got me, kids. You guys win. I guess I'm not that scary, you know, you've-you've-Oh! No! Ughh!" He screams as Waddles comes out of his shirt, screaming, and yells, "Why?! Why is there a pig jumping out of my chest?!" The kids look at each other. The mummy kid says, "Candy." The soldier kid says, "Can-dy!" Stan stands there, Waddles falls out of his shirt onto the porch and walks away. Stan asks, "What scares you two freaks?" The soldier kid grins at the mummy kid and says, "Here, watch this." He holds up a smart phone with a video of a cat. Stan asks while watching the video, "What, what is this? Some kinda-some kinda kitten or-" A monster face appears on the video screaming, which makes Stan scream and run inside as the kids laugh. Stan looks at the mirror and asks, "What happened to you, Stan Pines? What happened?"

Back with the others, Mabel says, "Introducing, for the first time in public…" Dipper walks out in his costume, a jar of peanut butter as Mabel continues, "TADAH! Peanut Butter and Jelly!" Hope, Razorwind, Soos, Candy, and Grenda all say, "Awwwww!" Candy takes out her phone and says, "I will make you internet famous." She takes a picture and Dipper replies, "Hey! Erase that!" He looks as his watch turns from 7:00 to 7:01 and says, "Let's just get this over with, okay?" All but Dipper chant, "Over with! Over with!" Dipper rings a doorbell and asks, "Do you really think this will make a difference?" A biker opens the door, grunting. Dipper and Mabel start dancing and say, "Hat a ta tah, tah tah ta...TWIIIIINS!" The biker tears up and dumps the entire candy bowl in their bag. Mabel and Dipper smile. A montage of trick-or-treating plays. Hope says, "Let's get that candy, guys!" Mabel, counting candy, "34, 35…" Candy climbs into the wheelbarrow and says, "36. You see? Because—" Hope replies, "Yeah, we get it." More trick-or-treating, and Hope counts, "22, 23, 24. A hundred and twenty-four!" People start blowing out jack-o-melons. Dipper says, "C'mon, c'mon!" More doorbell ringing. Toby says, "Hello." All except Toby scream and Mabel says, "What a horrible mask!" Toby replies, "That's just my face. This is a mask." He puts on a monster mask and says, "Roar!" All except Toby say, "Oh, yeah. That's actually better." Toby sighs, More doorbell ringing. Hope says, "498, 499. We did it!" The group cheers and Hope adds, "All we need is one more piece of candy." Dipper says, "And it's only 8:30. Perfect timing!" Mabel hugs Dipper and says, "Mwah! And your cough went away too!" Soos says, "Dude, I'm gonna go around and grab the truck. Soos, away!" He runs off. Mabel says, "Last one to the last house is a pair of wax lips!" Hope, Razorwind, Mabel and Candy giggle and run off and Grenda replies, "Not me! Nooo!" She runs after them.

Dipper says to himself, "The perfect time to go to Wendy's party, and no one needs to know I was trick-or-treating." Robbie's van pulls up. Dipper panics and quickly takes his costume off and hides it and the wheelbarrow full of candy in the bushes. Wendy says, "Hey Dipper!" Dipper replies, "Oh hey, Wendy. What's up?" He nudges part of his costume into the bush. Wendy asks, "Are you comin' to the party?" Robbie asks, "What are you doing out here?" Dipper replies, "Oh, um. Haha, I'm on my way. I like watching the trick-or-treaters. Reminds me of when I was a kid." He wipes his nose and Wendy asks, "Ok, then. You're coming, right?" Dipper replies, "Definitely, definitely." Wendy says, "Cool. See you there." The van speeds off. Dipper says, "Later, guys." Mabel asks, behind him, "You're going to a party?" As the others show up, Dipper replies, "Well, hey, I—" Mabel throws the last piece of candy at him and says, "That's why you were acting so weird and trying to hurry us! You're not sick at all! So if it wasn't for this crazy monster, you were gonna ditch me! On our favorite holiday!" Hope, Razorwind, Candy, and Grenda say, "Ooohh." Mabel asks, "What happened to the Dipper who used to love Halloween?!" She looks around and asks, "And where's all the candy?!" Dipper replies, "Relax, relax. I left it right here. Behind this bush." He pushes the bush aside and looks over and says, "Oh no." The wheelbarrow full of candy has fallen into a creek gorge and most of the candy is floating downstream. Hope asks, "What did you do!?" Dipper replies, "Well, I-pch I-!" Grenda says, "Uh, guys?" As a jack-o-melon goes out. Mabel says as jack-o-melons in front of all the houses go out, "Oh no! All the jack-o-melons are out!" Dipper points to something and yells, "Look!" Old Man McGucket is about to blow out his jack-o-melon, saying, "Ehehe! Good night!" As he inhales, the others gasp. Mabel yells, "Stop!" McGucket asks, "What?" The others say, "Nonononnonoo. Don't don't don't!" McGucket asks, "Eh? What's happening?" Dipper replies, "Just don't blow out that candle!" McGucket pulls out a horn to his ear and asks, "What?" Dipper replies, "Don't blow out that candle!" McGucket says, beat, "I'm Old Man McGucket!" He inhales and Dipper yells, "Wait!" Grenda rams into McGucket and grabs Jack-o-melon and says, "Sorry." McGucket says, "Eh. Eh. Eh. Eh." He climbs over a pile of cars. Dipper says, "Phew, that was close." The group sighs, making the candle goes out. Mabel says, "Uh oh." The Trickster walks up to them and says, "Knock knock." Grenda drops the jack-o-melon.

The Trickster asks, "So children and creatures. Where's my candy?" Dipper replies, "I swear, we had all 500 pieces. Look, it's down there somewhere. We can still get it." The group nods, and the Trickster says, "I'm afraid it's too late! That was your last chance." Dipper throws candy at Trickster, but he absorbs it and laughs as Dipper yells, "Go, go, go, go!" The group runs around the Trickster, who follows them. Candy screams as it grabs her. Mabel trips and is grabbed by the Trickster. Mabel yells, "Ahhh! Dipper!" Dipper yells, "Mabel!" He is grabbed by the Trickster. Hope yells, "Kids!" Hope flies up to the Trickster, an breathes fire on him. He screams in pain and lets the kids go and Hope and Razorwind catch them. Soos crashes into the Trickster with his truck, causing it to explode. Grenda yells, "We're alive! Yeah!" Soos stops the truck and says, "Woah." Hope, Dipper and Mabel say, "Soos!" Soos asks, "That wasn't like, a regular pedestrian, was it?" Mabel replies, "It was the monster!" Dipper says, "Thanks, Soos. Phew. I'm just glad it's over, right?" Mabel glares at him and walks away.

Once everyone is in the car, Soos asks, "Did everyone remember to put on their seatbelts?" Everyone except Soos and Mabel say, "Yes." Mabel nods and Soos says, "Let's go!" The truck drives off. Mabel rubs her bruised elbow. Dipper asks, "Hey, are you okay?" Mabel turns away and Dipper says, "There's probably some bandages back at the Shack." Mabel looks outside and says, "Uh, guys?" The trickster reforms and growls, jumping onto the back of the truck, the group screams and the truck swerves the Trickster falls off and hits a telephone pole. Dipper, pulling on Soos' cape says, "Breaks! Breaks! Breaks!" The truck crashes into the Summerween Superstore. Mabel coughs and gasps after she sees the monster. Dipper says, "We have to hide!" The group runs off. The Trickster growls and tears off the truck's door. Dipper, Mabel, Candy and Grenda are hiding in the shelves as Dipper says, "It's blocking the only exit. Everyone, stay quiet!" Mabel replies, "Oh, now you're worried about the monster. I thought all you cared about was Wendy." Dipper says, "Mabel, you know that's not true. I just-I felt like I was getting a little to old to go trick-or-treating." Hope, who is hiding in costumes with Razorwind and Soos, replies, "That's exactly why you need to go trick-or-treating, Dipper! You're getting older, there's not that many Halloweens left!" Mabel adds, "I guess I didn't realize it was already our last one." The Trickster roars. Candy says, "We have to escape." Grenda asks, "What if it sees us?" Soos says, "If only there was something we could use to cover our bodies and faces with. You know, like a disguise of some kind." Dipper and Mabel look at each other. The group is hiding from the trickster in costumes. They are heading towards the exit. Dipper says, "This way! Almost there!" He turns around and says, "Soos!" Soos is standing in front of the cackling heads. Hope says, "Stop!" Mabel adds, "Soos, don't you dare!" Soos replies, "Sorry dude, today's been way too stressful. I need some levity." He presses the skull, but nothing happens. Mabel says, "Oh thank goodness. It was out of batteries." She turns around and says, "Soos, no!" Soos is struggling to open a package of Bat-eries. He puts them in and presses the head, which says, "No matter the score, I'm always a-head! Nyaha nyaha." Soos laughs, slaps his leg and says, "This cackling head's the voice of a generation!" The Trickster comes up behind him and opens its mouth, while Soos presses the head again, the monster eats Soos. Dipper says, "Hey monster!" The group pulls out toy weapons and starts attacking the Trickster. Grenda chops off one of the Trickster's arm, licks her face, and asks, "Salt water taffy? Gross!" Dipper asks, "What are you-? He licks his face and says, "Wait, it is." The Trickster asks, "You really haven't figured it out yet?" He picks the kids and creatures up and says, "Don't you recognize me? Look at my face! Look closely." He pulls the mask off. Hope, Dipper and Mabel scream and Mabel says, "Loser candy!" Trickster replies, "That's right! Did you ever stop and think about the candy at the bottom of the bag that no one likes? Every year the children of Gravity Falls throw away all of the 'REJECTED' candy into the dump. So I seek revenge; revenge on the picky children who cast me aside. I'm made of every tossed piece of black licorice, every discarded bar of old chocolate with like that white, powder stuff on it. You know that stuff!" Mabel replies, "I hate that stuff!" The Trickster says, "No one would eat me. But now, I'm going to eat you." Dipper and Mabel scream, but as the Trickster is going to eat them, he hears something and asks, "What is that?" He screams as Soos rips through the Trickster's chest, screaming. He then asks, "'Sup, bro?" The Trickster falls to the ground vomiting jelly beans. Soos asks while eating the Trickster, "Dudes, you want some of this?" Dipper, Mabel, Candy, and Grenda shake their heads, while Hope says, "Sure, join me Razorwind!" Razorwind purrs and joins Hope and Soos in eating the Trickster. The Trickster asks, "Wait, you actually think I taste good?" Soos replies, "Uh, sure! You know." Hope and Razorwind nod as they're eating. The Trickster says, "All I've ever wanted is for someone to say that I was...good." He cries candy corn and says, "I'm so happy!" Soos replies, "Crying makes it a little weird, but," He takes another bite, "guess I'm still eating." Gourney breaks through the Trickster's chest. Soos asks, "'Sup, Gourney?" Gourney replies, "I've been twaumatized!"

Back at the Mystery Shack, the mummy and soldier kid have TP'd the Shack and the mummy kid asks, "Now what?" The soldier kid replies, "Let's just get our candy already!" He goes inside and asks, "Old dude? Old dude?" He goes up to the bathroom. Stan turns the water on, sighs and says, "Wash off the shame, Stan. Wash off the shame." The soldier kid walks into the bathroom and says, "Ha! He thought he could scare us." The kids watch Stan pulling off the towel. Stan asks, "Eh? What's that?" The kids, scream and run away, dropping their bags of candy. Stan, who is still wearing his underwear laughs and says, "Still got it!" Hope, Razorwind, Dipper, Mabel, Soos, Candy, and Grenda come inside. Dipper says, "Hey, Stan!" Mabel says, "Hi, Grunkle Stan!" Soos, Candy and Grenda say, "Hello, Mr. Pines!" Hope says, "Greetings, Stanford." Stan says, "How's it hangin'." Wendy says, "Hey Dipper." Dipper says, "Wendy!" Wendy says, "I didn't see you at the party. Where were you?" Dipper replies, "Uh...I-uh...I was trick-o-treating. With my sister." He puts his arm around Mabel's shoulder and Mabel says, "Yeah." and puts and arm around Dipper's shoulder. Wendy says, "The party was lame anyway. Robbie ate a lollipop stick-first and had to go home sick." Dipper tries not to laugh as Mabel says, "Aw, man. We went to every single house, and we didn't even get to eat any candy!" Stan says, "Candy? How's that for candy?" He holds up the kid's bags. Dipper and Mabel grin at each other. The TV Announcer says, "And now back to the fear guide from Terror Town Street." The woman on TV, screams at the alien. The alien on TV screams back, and the two scream again. Everyone is watching TV, eating the candies. Dipper comes to Mabel and attaches a bandage on Mabel's sore arm. Waddles munches the candy in his bowl. Stan says, "You know, guys? I've been thinkin'. At the end of the day, Summerween isn't about candy or costumes. Or even scaring people. It's a day when the whole family can get together at one place and celebrate what really matters: PURE EVIL! HAHAHAHAHA!" Everyone laughs maniacally and then stops abruptly. There is a pause which Soos breaks by saying, "I ate a man alive tonight." Everyone stares at Soos. Mabel, Grenda and Candy are taking pictures of Waddles with his business man outfit and make some meme styled pictures of Waddles. The code this time is: YILFTSG GL BLF YB SLNVDLIP: GSV XZMWB. The code can be solved with the Atbash Cipher.


	13. Chapter 13: Boss Mabel

I like to thank Victoria1676 and AngelPines for their support with this story.

In the Mystery Shack, Hope, Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Razorwind, and Waddles are watching Cash Wheel. Mabel and Waddles are eating Chipackerz as the TV Announcer says, "Ladies and gentlemen, we now return to Cash Wheel! Sponsored by Chipackerz, the chip flavored crackers!" Mabel looks at the cracker in her hand and says, "But they taste just like chips!" She eats the cracker. The middle contestant spins the wheel and lands on "cash shower." The host says, "Congratulations! You're taking a…" Stan says with the host, "Cash shower!" Money starts falling down on the man in the middle. When the other two contestants try to take some money, he slaps and punches them away. Stan says while pointing at the TV, "I like that guy's style." Hope looks at Stan and says, "You like him because he'd do what you'd do." Soos runs in and yells, "Mr. Pines! We got tourists at 9 o'clock! A whole busload of 'em!" A bus pulls up and tourists start to get out as Gompers back away from the bus. Stan looks out his window and yells, "Hot tamales, it's a jackpot! Soos! Make some new attractions!" Soos says, "You got it, boss!" He glues a wolf head onto a chicken. Stan points at Wendy and says, "Wendy! Mark up those prices! The higher the better!" Wendy sighs and puts a 0 behind a $2 price tag, making it $20. Stan yells, "Higher! Bleed 'em dry!" Wendy puts another 0 making it $200. Dipper says, "Eesh, Grunkle Stan. It's like when you see tourists, all you see are wallets with arms and legs." Stan waves his hand dismissively and says, "That's not true." He looks out the window and sees a family as wallets with legs. A wallet boy says while holding onto a balloon, "Thanks for taking me to the Mystery Shack, daddy!" The wallet dad laughs and says, "Now don't spend yourself all in one place." Another wallet boy comes out of a car and says, "I'm feeling car sick…" He groans and vomits coins. Stan rubs his eyes and says to Dipper, "Clean-up on the front lawn!" Dipper sighs, picks up a bucket of water and a mop and heads outside. Stan says to Hope, "Hope, I need you to take care of the bathrooms." Hope yells, "What, not only am I too big, but those bathrooms are disgusting!" Stan hands Hope a plunger and replies, "I need someone to clean them, and you're the only one available!" Hope takes the plunger and says, "If we weren't family, I wouldn't go through so much trouble for you." She leaves.

A boy puts a penny inside a penny press outside of the shack. He watches as the machine works and a small card that says "Thanks for the penny! -Stan" comes out. The boy then sighs and leaves. Inside Stan is leading a tour around the Mystery Shack saying, "Ladies and gentle-tourists! Looking around my Mystery Shack, you will see many wondrous roadside attractions. Be amazed at the only known photo of a horse riding another horse!" He points to a picture of a horse riding another horse and says, "That's-That's pretty good!" Many tourists take pictures and mutter, interested as they take pictures. Stan says, "Be astounded at the horrible, pre-teen wolf boy!" He pulls a curtain revealing a shirtless Dipper with hair glued to his legs and fake wolf ears, tail and teeth. Stan says, "Oh! Oh, look at him! All that hair! His body's changing, ah!" Dipper takes off his fake wolf teeth and says, "Grunkle Stan, this is demeaning." Stan replies, "What? I don't know "de meaning" of that word!" He and the tourists laugh at his joke. Stan then says, "If you throw money at him, he dances." The tourists cheer and begin to throw money at Dipper, and he makes an attempt to dance. Stan catches money with a jar, laughs and says, "Ooh! Thank you!"

Mabel is selling bumper stickers in the gift shop saying, "Behold! Mystery Shack bumper stickers! You can stick 'em on your bumper, or over your husband's mouth. Am I right, ladies? She knows what I'm talking about!" The woman mabel points at laughs and says, "Oh! You are bad! How much?" Mabel says, "Hey, it's on the house. That's the Mabel difference!" She hands the woman a bumper sticker and waves while saying, "Thanks for visiting!" Stan yells, "What!?" He appears behind a happy cardboard cutout of himself holding a sign saying, "Spend" and asks, "What the heck do you think you're doing?" Mabel replies, "Business! Ching ching ching!" while pressing buttons on the cash register. Stan says, "Listen, kid. You don't make money by giving stuff away. You're off of register duty!" Mabel says, "But, but-" Stan yells, "No buts except for yours out the door. Now shut your yap and get to work!" Mabel asks, "Grunkle Stan, whatever happened to "please" and "thank you"? Hmm? Oh wait. Here they are!" She takes out a bag of stickers and puts two stickers that say "Please" and "Thank you" on Stan's face" and says, "Wop wop!" Stan says, "Ugh. "Please" never made me any money, kid." He puts the "Please" sticker on the back of the cash register and continues, "In fact, just saying the word is giving me a burning sensation." Stan slaps the "Thank you" sticker on Soos' back as he sweeps by. Soon after that, Dipper comes in and asks, "Grunkle Stan, why do I have to wear this wolf costume? I think I'm getting hookworm." Stan laughs and says, "Yep. Gluing dog hair to your body will do that." Dipper rips off his wolf ears and says, "You've got all these dumb, fake exhibits in the Shack. Meanwhile, I've seen actual, amazing things in the forest every day! What if you hunted down a real attraction instead of lying to people for a living?" Mabel adds, "And you should be nicer to your employees, too!" Dipper yells, "Yeah!" He then high fives Mabel. Hope walks in, with toilet paper on her tails and says, "I agree. We're not just your employees, we're your family. And I think we should be treated with more respect." Mabel yells, "Yeah!" Dipper adds, "Respect!" Stan sighs and replies, "Look, you guys got a problem with how I run the Shack, take it up with the complaints department." He holds up a trash can and says, "Zing!" Mabel says, "I am going to write them such a letter!" She starts writing a letter, covering what she's writing with her arm.

Later, Hope, Mabel, Dipper, Wendy, and Soos are painting the Mystery Shack sign a glittery pink as Stan says, "And don't stop 'till you've covered that sign with glitter! Glittery signs attract tourists! Also large birds." A bald eagle attacks Soos and he tries to run away from it. Stan laughs and says, "That's funny." After he walks away, Dipper asks, "Okay, is it just me, or is having Grunkle Stan as a boss seriously the worst?" Wendy asks, "I know, right? Why do we even put up with it?" Hope yells, "He seems to have forgotten that I am the head of the family, and he makes me clean up the filthy outhouse!" Soos says, "I gave him a suggestion to improve the Shack once." He pulls out a folded piece of paper and continues, "I had this idea where I could be, like, the Mystery Shack mascot: Questiony the Question Mark. I ask people questions, you know. Do the question dance." Mabel says, "That sounds amazing!" Wendy adds, "Oh, cool!"Dipper adds, "Yeah, totally!" Hope adds, "It's definitely unique." Soos says, "Yeah, well...Stan said I couldn't handle it." Mabel yells, "He said what?!"

Stan says goodbye to the tourists outside of the Shack, "And remember, folks! We put the "fun" in "no refunds!"" Walking back into the Shack he laughs and says, "Suckers." Mabel says, "You!" Stan screams. Mabel says, "Grunkle Stan, you've gone too far this time!" She follows him into his office and asks, "Did you seriously tell Soos not to follow his hopes and dreams because he "couldn't handle it?"" Stan replies, "Look, kid, let me break it down for you. Being a boss is about commanding respect. If you give people everything they ask for, they'll walk all over ya." Mabel says, "No way! I bet you'd make way more money being nice then being a big grumpy grump to everyone all the time." Stan laughs and asks, "You think you know more about business than I do? You think you could wear this hat?" Mabel replies, "Yeah! 'Cause I give people respect! And glittery stickers!" She stamps a pink star sticker on her left cheek. Stan laughs and says, "I'd make more money on vacation then you would, running this place!" Mabel asks, "Then why don't you go on vacation?"

Stan says, "Interesting...All right, I'm a wagering man. 3 days. 72 hours." He sets an alarm for 72 hours and says, "You run the Shack, and I'll go on vacation. If you make more money than me, I guess it means you're right about the way I run my business. BUT if you lose, you, uh…" He writes "LOSER" in marker on a white T-shirt and says, "You-you gotta wear this "LOSER" shirt all summer!" Mabel says, "Fine. But if I win I get to be the boss for the rest of the summer! Plus, you gotta sing an apology song with lyrics by me! Mabel." Stan replies, "Whoa ho! You got yourself a deal, missy!" Mabel yells, "No, you got yourself a deal!" Stan yells, "Deal!" Mabel yells, "Deal!" Stan /spanspan style="background-color: transparent; color: #3a3a3a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"slams his fist on the desk and yells, "Deal!" Mabel slams her fist on the desk and yells, "Deal!" She stamps a pink heart sticker on Stan's nose and says, "Deal…" The next day, Stan is loading things onto the trunk of the Stanmobile and says, "See you in 72 hours! We'll see who makes more money." He throws his fez on Mabel's head and drives away, laughing. Dipper comes out with Hope and asks, "Mabel, did you just make a bet with a professional con man?" Hope says, "This entire plan screams "disaster."" Mabel replies, "Oh, come on. Being a better boss than Stan will be a cinch. Profit, here we come!" She holds up a jar, then drops it and it breaks. Dipper says, "You broke the jar." Mabel interrupts, "We'll get a new one." Dipper asks, "I guess I shouldn't be too worried. I mean, how much money could Stan even make on vacation?" Hope replies, "Don't underestimate Stan. What he lacks in honesty, he more then makes up for in determination to get money." A man is writing on a clipboard. He looks up and asks, "Can I help you, sir?" Stan replies, "I'm here to take all the cash from your wheel." Behind him is the set for Cash Wheel.

Hope, Soos, Dipper, and Wendy come into Stan's newly decorated office and Soos asks, "You wanted to see us, Mr. Pines?" Mabel turns around in chair and scoots toward them and says, "Stan is no longer with us." Soos yells, "He's dead? No! It should have been me!" As he kneels down crying, Mabel says, "Whoa, Soos! Stan's not dead! He's on vacation for 3 days. We made a bet."Soos stands up and says, Thank you for that clarification." Mabel says, "Mabel's in charge now!" Dipper asks, "Are those...shoulder pads?" Mabel says, "Uh huuuuuuh!" She shakes her shoulder pads up and down and says, "It's just one of the many up-to-date managerial tricks I learned from this book I found propping up the kitchen table." She holds up Succeeding In Management 1983 and drinks out of a mug that says "#2 boss" Hope asks, "Why does your mug say "#2"?" Mabel replies, "Because the real #1... is you!" She holds a mirror up to them. Hope, Dipper, Soos, and Wendy laugh, pleased. Wendy says, "I get it." and Soos says, "Morale!" Mabel says, "Walk with me. With me as boss you're gonna notice a few changes around here. My job is to help you be your best "SELVES." Satisfied, Everyday, Loving Life, Very Much, Everyday, Satisfied. Great listening ears so far!" She stamps a thumbs up sticker on each of them and says, "Waddles, Razorwind, hold my calls!" Waddles grabs the phone with his mouth and Razorwind chirps in agreement.

Mabel, Dipper, Wendy and Soos arrive at the gift shop, and Mabel pulls up a chair and asks, "Alright, people, now rap with me. Wendy, how can I make your workspace more Wendy-friendly?" Wendy replies, "Hmm, well, Stan never lets me hang out with friends at work." Mabel says, "Stan ain't here, sister! Door's open!" Wendy gives Mabel two thumbs up and replies, "Sweet!" Mabel says, "And Soos, I believe this is yours." She pulls out a Questiony the Question Mark costume from a cabinet. Soos says, "Questiony the Question Mark!? I wish this was an exclamation point to show how excited I am!" Mabel says, "As for you Dipper…" She holds up Dipper's wolf costume and tosses it in a shredder while yelling, "Die, wolf costume, die! I want you and Hope to head into the woods, and don't come back until you found an amazing attraction!" Dipper says with Journal 3 in his hands, "Finally! It's time to show Stan how a REAL mystery hunter does it!" He puts away the journal, runs off, grabs a flail and opens the window. He says, "Dipper out!" The flail's weight causes him to fall of the window. Hope says, "I'll make sure he doesn't get himself killed." She leaves the Shack. Mabel says, "Okay, guys! It's time to prove that nice bosses finish first. In the next forty-eight hours, we're gonna fill this jar with six hundred billion dollars!" She draws a line on the jar. Soos and Mabel shout, "Yeah!" They high five. Wendy asks, "Wait. Do you know how money works?" Mabel says, "Of course. Waddles, run down to the shop and grab me a latte." She gives Waddles a bill and he eats it. She says, "Whoa!" She gives him another bill and he eats it again. Mabel says, "He's a hungry little guy."

Stan is in a line for an audition for Cash Wheel and says, "Ugh! This line is taking forever! Time to use my old man powers...AH! I'm having a heart attack! And the only cure is to be a contestant on...on Cash Wheel! Aaugh! Someone give me a part! I'm old!" Several people go over to Stan and try to call people to help. A man with a clipboard asks, "Should we escort him off the lot?" A worker says, "That man is a self-centered attention hog, with no regard for human decency." He pauses and says, "Get him on TV!"

Mabel gives herself a thumbs up in the mirror, letting sunlight in the room, drinking a milkshake, and laughs at her milk moustache, looking at a profit graph that is going down and making a smiley face out of it. Mabel says to Wendy, "Top marks!" She says to Soos, "Top marks!" She says to a squirrel, which runs away, "Top marks!" She spins around in her chair and says, "Boss boss boss boss boss!" Later, Mabel puts up a poster of an Eagle and underneath it are the words "Leadership." However, Mabel has taped a picture of her face on top of the eagle's. She says, "It's beautiful…" The Shack has a "Under New Management" sign. Tourists are seen exiting and dropping money into Mabel's jar. Mabel says, "Thank you!" She laughs and continues, "See you soon! Tell 'em Mabel sent you!" She looks happily at the money in the jar. Dipper and Hope come up with a large moving bag. Dipper says, "Mabel! I captured something!" Hope, covered in scratches, clears her throat and says, "You mean, we captured something. I was the one who risked my life distracting it." Dipper laughs nervously and says, "Of course. This is gonna blow those tourists away!" The creature inside the bag grabs Dipper's arm, and Dipper and Hope punch it repeatedly, and the creature lets go. Mabel says, "Marvelous work, valued employees!" She gasps and asks, "Who's that? Is it Questiony the Question Mark?" Soos says, "Uh, I'm starting to have second thoughts about this, Mabel. I keep forgetting my lines. And this costume is more um…" He steps out from behind the porta-potty, showing he only has his foam Question mark and underwear on and finishes, "...revealing than I expected?" Mabel replies, "Soos, don't give up. Anything is possible when you…" She flips through "Succeeding in Management 1983" and says, "...imaginize it!" Soos says, "But I don't know what that means." Mabel shushes Soos. She puts a finger to Soos' lips and shushes him some more. She rubs a finger around Soos' face and says, "Believe in yourself…" She walks away. Soos says, "Bu-but I...! So-so cold…"

Mabel enters The Mystery Shack and asks, "How's my favorite Wendy?" A can of soda falls on the ground, and Mabel looks up to see Lee, Nate, Tambry, Thompson, and Wendy wrecking the gift shop while kicking around a shrunken head. Wendy yells, "Keep it going!" Nate kicks the head towards a young boy who is holding up a box and asks, "Oh, what's this?" He gets hit in the face with the shrunken head and cries. His mom yells, "Billy! Your face, it's ruined!" Mabel says, "I'm so sorry. Please, have a refund." She gives Billy's mom money. She takes more money out of the jar and leaves with Billy. Mabel says, "Wendy, you got a lot of cleaning up to do. Pleeeaaase." She pokes the "please" sticker on the cash register. Wendy says, "Whoa, all this rule stuff's starting to make you sound like Stan." Mabel says, "What?! No! I'm nothing like Stan! In fact…" She nervously says, "...take the rest of the day off?" Wendy asks, "With full pay?" Mabel nervously replies, "Of course." She shifts her suit around and laughs nervously, while Wendy gives a "thumbs up" and leaves. Mabel says to herself, "Mabel Pines, you are the best boss ever." Mabel pats herself. Soos yells at a woman in the background, "I'M QUESTIONY THE QUESTION MARK!" The woman screams and sprays him with pepper spray. Soos yells, "Aw dude, it stings so bad!"

In the Cash Wheel Studio, Cash Wheel has started as the host says, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to CASH WHEEL!" The cash wheel logo is shown. The host says, "Now, let's meet those contestants." The first contestant says, "I'm Doug from Fairfield, California." The second contestant says, "I'm Donna from-" Stan butts in and yells, "I'M STAN, STAN PINES!" He laughs. When it's Stan's turn, Stan asks, "Did we-did we already do me? Hello, I'm Stan." The host laughs and says, "Okay, It's going to be a long night, folks." The Cash Wheel Audience laughs. The host says, "It's time to solve-" Stan laughs. The host continues, "It's uh, time to solve that puzzle! Carla!" Carla asks, "Yes, Rich?" Stan asks, "Are there any "s"es?" Rich says, "Actually, it's not your turn yet." Two "S"es appear on the first slot and the last slot of the Cash Wheel board. Stan says, "I'm ready to solve!" Rich says, "No, the game hasn't started-" Stan asks, "Is it "shut your yaps"?" The answer appears on the board. The audience claps. Rich says, "Well played." Stan spins the wheel and says, "Cash shower, cash shower, cash shower!" The wheel lands on Cash shower. Rich says, "Cash shower!" Stan yells, "Yes! Doodle do…" He starts to undress. Rich says, "Mr. Pines? No! You don't need to take your clothes off! Nope!" He goes in front of camera and yells, "Go to commercial! Go to commercial!"

Back at the Mystery Shack, a couple is looking at a map of the Shack, when Dipper says, "Ladies and Gentlemen! My name's Honest Dipper and this is Hope, and unlike my cheating uncle, we have something to show you that isn't a hoax!" Hope enters and says, "It nearly killed us getting him into that cage, behold, part gremlin, part goblin, the Gremloblin!" She takes the cover off the cage. The Gremloblin growls and pulls on the cage bars. Dipper pats the Journal. The Gremloblin roars more and spits out a human skeleton arm. The man says, "Well that's fun." The woman says, "It's fake, honey. You can see the strings." Dipper replies, "What!? Those aren't strings, that's body hair!" The woman, "Oh, look at this dear. The Six-packalope." The man laughs and says, "Wordplay!" He takes a picture. Hope says, "No, everything else here is fake." She pulls the couple back over to the cage and says, "This is a real paranormal beast. Hey, fun fact about this little guy, if you look into his eyes, you can see your worst nightmare." The couple look into the Gremloblin's eyes and their eyes eyes start to glow. Dipper asks, "Amazing, right? I work for tips." An ambulance comes to take the scarred couple away. Dipper says, "Thanks again for visiting!" He sighs and Hope asks, "Wonder how Mabel's handling everything?" Mabel says while helping customers, "Thanks for shopping with us!" As kids knock over a stand, she says, "I'll get that! Here you go." She flattens a dollar that someone was trying to put in the vending machine and says, "Sorry. Have a refund." She takes money from customers and hands all the items to the customer in front and says, "That's the Mabel difference…" She sighs. Dipper enters and says, "Well, we just made two people go insane. How about you?" Mabel replies, "I'm so tired. I gave Wendy the day off so I had to do her job." Hope says, "Well, maybe you need to start being a little bit tougher around here." Mabel replies, "No way, that's what Stan would do! I just need to think positive, be friendly, and everything will work out fine."

The Gremloblin roars and breaks through the wall. Tourists scream and run out of the shack. Dipper asks, "What? How did he get out of his locked cage!?" Mabel looks guilty and says, "Well…" Flashback to Gremloblin in the cage, looking up at a key Mabel taped on the ceiling for his "5 min break" Dipper asks, "YOU GAVE HIM A BREAK?!" Mabel replies, "He's an employee...sort of." Hope says, "I don't know how you got that key, but we've got to round him up. Where's Soos?" Mabel replies, "He was stressed out so I told him to take a soothing nature walk." Soos is outside somewhere in the woods. He asks, "Hello? Civilization?" Thunder booms and a wolf howls. Soos asks, "Doggy?" Back at the shack, as the Gremloblin trashes the Shack, Hope, Dipper and Mabel see a television playing "Cash Wheel." Rich says, "Ladies and Gentlemen, Stan Pines is poised to become our grand champion! Anything to say to your fans out there?" Stan replies, "See you tomorrow night, Mabel!" He holds up the "Loser" shirt. The Gremloblin roars and throws a Mayan calendar inches away from where Hope, Dipper and Mabel are. The three run past and hide in the living room. The Gremloblin starts putting stickers on his face. Mabel says, "What do we do? He's awarding himself stickers that he didn't even earn!" Dipper opens the Journal and reads, "Uh, got it! When fighting a Gremloblin, use water…" Mabel splashes a cup of water in the creature's face and he roars. Dipper turns the page and continues, "...only as a last resort as water will make him much much scarier! AH! Who writes sentences like that!?" Hope replies, "He ran out of room on the page. Give him a break." The Gremloblin roars and grows spikes on his back. The Cuckoo Clock chimes and he breathes fire on it. Dipper says, "Don't worry, he's gotta leave eventually!"

Much later, the Singin' Salmon sings, "I'm the singin' salmon spendin' all day jammin'." The Gremloblin presses the button again, "I'm the singin' salmon spendin' all day jammin.'" The Gremloblin presses the button and the fish repeats it again. Hope says "Ugh, why doesn't he just leave? He's been doing that for the past hour." The Gremloblin sniffs the money jar and starts eating the money. Mabel yells, "Our profits!" She runs over to the monster. Dipper yells, "Mabel, wait!" Mabel yells, "Stop, stop!" The Gremloblin looks at her and grabs her. Mabel screams. Hope says, "Don't look into his evil eye; you'll see your worst nightmare!" Mabel says, "I wish we had an evil eye to show him!" She looks into the Gremloblin's eye and yells, "Oh no! Ahh…" Dipper says, "Wait. Hey, monster! Take a look at this!" He shows the Gremloblin a mirror. The Gremloblin imagines himself looking in a mirror wearing glasses and says, in the nightmare, "You've become your father." In real life, it screams, breaks through the wall and runs away. Dipper says, "Well at least he didn't do that much damage." The Gremloblin grows wings and flies away, breaking the totem pole and setting off a car alarm. Hope says, "Oh boy." Mabel says, "Hope, Dipper, it's the third day! We've only got 7 hours to earn back our profits, or I've got to wear that loser shirt all summer!"

Wendy walks over with Soos and asks, "Hey guys! Am I nuts, or does this place look different?" Mabel says, "Wendy, Soos! Am I glad to see you. We've got a lot of work to do but if we hurry, we can still beat Stan!" Wendy replies, "Uh, yeah. I've got a little headache, so maybe I should like, not work today." Soos says, "And I actually just met this pack of wolves, and I think they're gonna like, raise me as one of their own, so I should really be at the den right now." Mabel says, "But-but…" Wendy says, "But hey, we'll see ya on Monday." Soos points to popsicles on the ground and asks, "Uh, BT dubs, is anyone gonna eat these?" Mabel twitches angrily, breaking the pen in her hand and yells, "ENOUGH!" Everyone gasps as Mabel yells, "I have HAD IT! I fought a monster to save this business, and this is how you repay me?! I'm gonna get an ulcer from your lollygagging!" Wendy asks, "Lollygagging?" Soos asks, "Ulcer? You're acting...different." Mabel yells, "You shut your yaps!" Soos and Wendy gasp as Mabel continues, "I've been doing everyone's job while you bums have been bleeding me dry!" Wendy says, "But I-" Mabel yells, "No buts except yours on the floor cleaning! Now quit loafing and get to work!" Wendy replies, "Yes, Mabel." Mabel yells, "That's yes, BOSS!" She slams her hand on the counter and Stan's fez falls and lands on her head. She looks in the mirror and gasps. She asks, "Guys, what have I become?" Dipper replies, "What you had to, Mabel. What you had to." Hope says, "Do what you have to do, Mabel." Mabel says, "We've got seven hours to turn this around! Let's go, people!" She holds up money jar.

Back at Cash Wheel, the wheel lands on "Cash flood." Rich says, "You landed on Cash Flood!" Stan gets covered in money and yells, "I'm givin' none of this to charity!" Rich says, "And now you can go home a thousandaire! Or you could risk everything to double your money with the bonus word!" Stan replies, "Rich, I'm a simple man. So I'm gonna take my winnings, pack my bags, and BET THEM ALL ON THE BONUS WORD! Come on!" People cheer. Back at the shack, a crane is repairing the totem pole. Mabel yells into a megaphone, "Time is money, hard hat! You got complaints, file them with the complaint department!" She holds up a trash can and says, "Ugh, my back." A tour bus pulls up. Mabel says, "Hope, Dipper, we've got tourists at 9 o'clock!" Dipper asks, "But what do we show them? Real magic just freaks people out." Hope adds, "Yeah, and people are too dense to tell real stuff from fake." Mabel yells, "Figure something out, knuckleheads!"

Dipper is now back inside the shack, wearing a tuxedo with an eye patch, giving the tourists a tour, "Ladies and gentle-tourists! This shack is filled with wonders, NEVER before seen by human eyes! Behold, the horrible giant question baby!" He directs their attention to Soos dressed in his Questiony the Question mark outfit, who asks, "Am I a man? Am I a baby? These are legitimate questions." The tourists gasp. Dipper adds, "And also introducing, Hope the Wolf Dragon!" Smoke comes out of a corner of the shack, and Hope emerges from it. She then flies and breathes a fireball, catching it with her dragon tail. She throws it at a block of ice, making steam surround the room. As the audience looks around, the steam is mysteriously blown away. The audience looks to see Hope now next to Soos, blowing away the steam with her wings. As she stops and poses, the audience cheers and applauds. Dipper says, "Have your picture taken with them for a buck. Uh, ten bucks." He adds a zero after the 1. He then says, "A hundred bucks!" He adds another after the other 0. People cheer with wads of cash in their hands, which makes Dipper smile.

The tourists are leaving happy. Dipper says, "We put the fun in no refunds!" He goes back into the shack and asks, "How'd we do?" Mabel replies, "We filled the whole jar!" Everyone cheers. Hope says, "Minus the money to replace all the furniture, supplies to fix the shack, that leaves us…" She puts all this into a calculator, which prints out some paper. Mabel picks up the jar and says, "One dollar." Stan enters with a clock buzzing and says, as everyone gasps, "Tick-tock! Time's up, kids!" Mabel replies, "Oh, no!" Stan says to Dipper, "Nice to see you learned how to dress while I was gone." Hope asks, "How much did you beat us by?" Stan replies, "I won $300,000!" Hope, Dipper and Mabel gasp. Stan says, "And then…" Flashback to the Cash Wheel. Rich asks, "For a chance to double your cash or lose it all, what is the six-letter word you use to ask for something politely? For example, "May I blank have that?"" Stan asks, "Do I look like an idiot, folks?" The audience laughs. Stan says, "The word is "gimmee." Two E's." A buzzer sounds and Rich says, "Oooh! You know, because you've gone this far, we're gonna give you one more chance. Let's try again. It's a "P" word. Some might even say it's the "magic word."" Stan replies, "Pabracadabra! Final answer!" Another buzzer sounds and Rich says, "I'm sorry, Stan, but the word is…"

Back in the present, Mabel asks, "Please?" Stan says, "Apparently that word can make you money." Dipper says, "So, wait. If you lost everything, then that means...Mabel! You won!" Hope, Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and Wendy cheer, "We did it!" Soos asks, "Wait. What did we win again?" Stan asks, "Well, according to our bet, I guess Mabel's the new boss?" Hope, Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, and Soos reply, "No! No! Don't do that!" Stan asks, "Huh? What?" Mabel replies, "Grunkle Stan, I had no idea how hard it was being boss. This place was cuckoo bananas until I started barking orders at people like you." She hands him his fez. Stan says, "Yeah, well, I got to admit, It's kind of nice to be back, ya know? Okay, okay, that's enough, get offa me! And Soos, Wendy; get to work! Ahem. Please. Uhh! Still hurts." Hope asks, "Mabel, didn't your agreement say something about Stan having to do some kind of apology dance if he lost?" Stan replies, "N-no. No, it didn't." Mabel says, "Actually, yeah, I think I have it in my notes here." Stan says, "No! That never happened!" Wendy laughs and says, "I'll get the camera!" Stan says, "All right, let me just…" He runs away. Mabel yells, "Grunkle Stan!" Hope yells, "Sic him, Razorwind!" Razorwind, who was in the shop, roars and runs after Stan.

A camera is filming Stan, who is dressed in a sparkly orange suit. Stan says, "Uh, look, I'm not gonna…" Mabel yells, "Do it!" Stan sings, _"I'm Stan, and I was wrong. I'm singing the Stan Wrong Song. I shouldn't have taken that chance. Now here's my remorseful dance."_ Mabel yells, "Do the kicks!" As Stan kicks, Mabel yells, "Jazzier!" Stan's fez falls off; to Gompers, who tries to eat it, while Stan yells, "Hey, gimme that! Ow! My back!" Mabel asks Waddles, "What do you think?" Waddles oinks in response. Mabel yells, "Take thirty!" Stan groans in agony. The code this time is: SVZEB RH GSV SVZW GSZG DVZIH GSV UVA. The code can be solved with the Atbash Cipher.


	14. Chapter 14: Bottomless Pit

Stan Pines drives the Mystery Cart to an unknown destination. After he, Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos leave, Stan says, "In this land of ours, there are many great pits. But none more bottomless than the bottomless pit. Which as you can see here is bottomless". Hope, Soos, an the twins look into the pit. Hope, who has bandages on her left wing, has a small smile on her face, Mabel smiles in excitement, Dipper looks skeptical, and Soos has a confused look. Soos then asks, "Question. Is it bottomless?" Stan sighs and asks, "Hope, kids, can one of you try explaining this to Soos?" Hope replies, "It's easier to not explain." Dipper asks, "Grunkle Stan, why are we here again?" Stan replies, "To dispose of things that we don't want. So long, Mystery Shack suggestion cards!" He throws some cards down into the pit. Hope grabs a bag and says, "So long molted fur and feathers! To the depths with you!" She then throws the bag of her molted fur and Razorwind's feathers into the pit. Dipper asks, "What about your scales?" Hope replies, "We use them for the Shack." Hope's scales were used for merchandise and attractions. Mabel says, "Goodbye, creepy love letters from Li'l Gideon!" She throws the letters and gifts away and yells, "Die! Die!" Soos takes off his shoes and throws them in the pit, to which Dipper asks, "What are you doing?" Soos replies, "Throwing stuff, dude. Everyone's doin' it." He grabs and throws a barbecue grill down the pit.many great pits. But none more bottomless than the bottomless pit. Which as you can see here is bottomless". Hope, Soos, an the twins look into the pit. Hope, who has bandages on her left wing, has a small smile on her face, Mabel smiles in excitement, Dipper looks skeptical, and Soos has a confused look. Soos then asks, "Question. Is it bottomless?" Stan sighs and asks, "Hope, kids, can one of you try explaining this to Soos?" Hope replies, "It's easier to not explain." Dipper asks, "Grunkle Stan, why are we here again?" Stan replies, "To dispose of things that we don't want. So long, Mystery Shack suggestion cards!" He throws some cards down into the pit. Hope grabs a bag and says, "So long molted fur and feathers! To the depths with you!" She then throws the bag of her molted fur and Razorwind's feathers into the pit. Dipper asks, "What about your scales?" Hope replies, "We use them for the Shack." Hope's scales were used for merchandise and attractions. Mabel says, "Goodbye, creepy love letters from Li'l Gideon!" She throws the letters and gifts away and yells, "Die! Die!" Soos takes off his shoes and throws them in the pit, to which Dipper asks, "What are you doing?" Soos replies, "Throwing stuff, dude. Everyone's doin' it." He grabs and throws a barbecue grill down the pit.

Mabel grunts while pushing a large chained box toward the pit. Stan asks while still throwing cards into the pit, "What you got there, Mabel?" Mabel replies, "Oh, it's just my personal box of mysterious secrets. Nothing worth wondering about." She giggles and pushes the box down the pit and yells, "Goodbye forever!" After Mabel pats her hands, Dipper asks, "Grunkle Stan, do I really have to be the one to point out that a bottomless pit is, by definition, impossible?" Stan says while shaking cards out of his fez down the pit, "Says you." Mabel says, "Well, I guess we'll never know." Hope adds, "And this is when the catastrophic event that will force us to find out happens." Wind starts blowing and dark storm clouds gather over the Mystery Shack. Soos screams and says, "It's some sort of invisible pushing force!" Dipper yells, "Quick! Everyone back to the shack!" As they run toward the house, Hope looks back and yells, "Stan! We have to go now!" Stan yells, "I'm not done getting rid of these yet!" He tries throwing more cards into the bottomless pit but the wind blows them into his face. Mabel yells as the others run back for Stan, "Grunkle Stan! No!" Stan says while everyone pulls him away from the pit and while he tries to throw the cards into the pit, "Almost...Almost...Almost!" After Stan leans too far to try and get the flying cards, everyone falls into the pit and screams. Gompers and Razorwind show up and Gompers bleats while Razorwind chirps.

Still falling down the pit, they all scream. After falling for a bit, they stop screaming. The silence is broken by Soos asking, "So, anyone want to scream some more?" Dipper asks, "Where are we?" Mabel lights a glow stick and says while waving it around, "We're somewhere where it looks like we're nowhere." She hangs the glowstick on her arm and giggles as it goes up. Dipper says, "We're gonna land on something eventually. It could be any second now." Everyone braces for a landing but nothing happens. Dipper yells, New plan: Hope will fly us out of here!" Hope says back, "I can't carry everyone! Besides, my wing's still healing from our pinball fiasco!" She points to her broken wing as she says this. Stan says, "Well...it looks like we're down here for the long haul. Who wants to see some card tricks?" He takes out cards, which fly up and away. Stan then says, "Tada!" Mabel claps while Hope moans. Soos says, "Hey, maybe we should pass the time by telling stories." Dipper replies, "I've got a story. It's called the time Grunkle Stan got us all thrown into a bottomless pit where we spent the rest of our natural lives!" Soos says, "Go on…" Mabel says, "Come on, Dipper, you can do better than that." Dipper replies, "Fine." He takes the glow stick and says, "I'll tell you a story. A story I'd like to call "Voice Over.""

* * *

The story begins with Hope, Mabel, Wendy, Soos on the lawn with Waddles while Soos is on his rocking chair while reading the newspaper. Mabel asks, "Ready?" Mabel, Hope, Wendy, and Soos yell, "Spin the Pig!" The spin Waddles until he stops, pointing at Stan. Mabel asks, "Hey! Grunkle Stan, ever kissed a pig before?" Stan replies, "I'm not gonna answer that question." Dipper runs up and yells, "Guys! I think I just got bit by a snake! I need you to get me to a hospital quick!" His voice cracks when he says "quick" Stan laughs while rocking his legs back and forth and Dipper asks, "What? What's so funny?" Stan replies, "Sorry. It's just hard to focus on what you're saying with that squeaky puberty voice you got there." Dipper asks, "My what?" Mabel replies, "It's nothing to be ashamed of, Dipper. Your voice is hila-rious!" She made her voice crack on the last word attempting to mimic Dipper. Hope laughs and says, "Nice try Mabel, but I think it sounds more like thi-is!" She crack her voice in a slightly better mimic. Dipper asks, "Are you saying my voice cracks? My voice doesn't crack!" Soos replies, "Dude, no offense, but it cracks so much we've already made a techno remix out of it." He plays the tape, which says in Dipper's voice while the girls dance, "Nice to meet you. My name's Dipper Pines, P-P-Pines, Pines, Pines Nice to meet you P-p-pines, Pines, Pines." Dipper asks, "Do I really sound like that?" Wendy says, "Oh, here comes my favorite part!" The remix says, "Stop it, guys!" It cracks at every word. Hope, Mabel, Stan, Soos, and Wendy laugh. Dipper says, "Give me that!" He grabs the tape from Soos and leaves. The others look at him for a second, before Stan goes back to his paper and the others yell, "Spin the Pig!"

Dipper sighs and says, "Even my sigh sounds weird." McGucket pops out of a hole in the fence Dipper is walking along and yells, "Hello there!" Dipper screams and McGucket says, "I couldn't help but overhear your situation. Old Man McGucket…" He spits on his hand and says while he holds it out, "...part-time inventor." Dipper asks, "Why do you spit on your hand?" McGucket replies as he wipes the spit on his beard, "I don't rightly know." Dipper says, "Hey, I remember you! Your robot almost killed me!" McGucket pulls Dipper into an alley and says, "Come here! Follow me into this dark and dangerous alley." Now at the junkyard, it seems he has made a car into a lab of come sort. He pours a green liquid into a vial and says, "Lately, I've been tickerizing with a voice alterizing tonic. On account of my horrrrifyin' voice!" He screams the last two words to get his point across. A chubby kid wearing a hat and riding a scooter cries and runs away without the scooter and McGucket yells, "You can run, but I'll still be in your nightmares!" Dipper grabs the vial and says, "This will really fix my voice? Thanks!" He drinks it and leaves. McGucket says, "Come mornin', you'll sound like a new man...If you survive."

Dipper wakes up in the morning, yawns, and walks to a mirror, in front of which he says, "Good morning Dipper." He realizes his voice sounds deeper and says, "I did it! I diiid it! Now I have a new voice! Ha ha ha!" He runs to Mabel's bed and says, "Morning Mabel. Who's my favorite Mabel?" Mabel screams and hits Dipper with a golf while yelling, "Who are you?! What have you done with my brother!? Dipper! I'll save you from this body switching warlock!" Dipper says, "Mabel, it's me. This is my voice now. I sound awesome. Soouund aaawesome." Mabel replies, "I know boys' voices change, but this is weird. Weird and bad." Dipper says, "But Mabel, this is the best thing that has ever happened to me. And just think of the prank calls." He dials a number, and the receiver asks over the phone, "Hello?" Dipper says, "Hello, this is the President of the United States of America. I am calling to tell you…" He makes spitting noises. The receiver yells over the phone, "What? Who is this?!" Dipper hangs up, laughs and says, 'Magnificent!" Mabel says, "Mabel no like." Dipper says, "Maybe Hope will like my new voice." He changes and runs to the kitchen, where Hope and Razorwind are having breakfast. Dipper walks up to them and says, "Good morning, Hope." Razorwind screeches as Hope jumps on top of him. Dipper asks, "What the-" He is interrupted by a slap on the face, to which he yells, "Ow!" Hope yells, "Get out of my decedent's body you demon!" She slaps him again as Dipper says, "Hope!" Hope yells, "The power of Hope compels you!" She is about to slap him with her tail when Dipper yells, "Hope, it's me, Dipper!" Hope yells, "Prove it!" Dipper replies, "I kiss a pillow with Wendy's face on it at night!" Hope and Razorwind calm down. Hope gets off Dipper and says, "I'm convinced. You know I can hear you when you kiss that pillow." Dipper gets up, brushes himself off and asks, "Do you like my new voice?" Hope replies, "No. I liked your old voice better." Razorwind chirps and nods in agreement. Dipper says, "You liked it because you were able to make fun of it. Maybe Soos will appreciate my new voice." Hope sighs and follows him and Mabel into the gift shop. Dipper asks Soos, "How you diddly-doing, Soos?" Soos grabs a broom and hits Dipper while yelling, "Kill it! Kill it with fire! Everyone flee!" Dipper asks, "What gives, man? You guys all made fun of my old voice. I thought you'd like the new one." Soos replies, "Well, at least before you sounded like a real person. Now, you sound like some kind of weird commercial dude." Dipper says, "I'll find Stan. He'll like my new voice. You'll see. I'll be right back after these messages! Uh, I mean...goodbye."

He goes outside and downtown as he yells, "Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan! Where are you, Grunkle Stan?" As he walks by Skull Fracture, Tats asks, "Huh? I know that voice anywhere! You're that guy that prank-called me earlier!" He growls and Dipper replies, "No I'm not. I'm just a 12 year old boy." Tats yells, "You expect me to believe that? You crazy-voiced punk!" Dipper yells, "Wait! No!" He screams and runs away. Tats walks into the bar and yells, "There's a prank caller on the loose! Let's get him!" Dipper runs while everyone in the bar is running after him. He jumps into a hole and yells, "Escape!" He runs to where old man McGucket is. He is dancing on a car while two chickens are eating nearby when Dipper runs up to him, takes out the vial and yells, "McGucket! Your invention was a catastrophe!" McGucket replies, "That's probably why I live in a dump!" He dances and Dipper says, "My own family didn't recognize me. I scared away crowds." He sobs and says, "I even sound ridiculous when I cry." McGucket takes the vial and says, "Well, now. Here's your problem. I gave you the wrong drinking majiggy. This one's for voice over professionals. I'm sure I got a better voice in here somewhere." He digs through the car trunk and throws out a boot, cat, apple, and can as Dipper says, "Good! Hurry up!" McGucket says, "You got here just in time. Come sundown, you'd be back to your ridiculous old voice." Dipper asks, "It was ridiculous, wasn't it?" He plays the tape, which says is Dipper's voice, "D-D-Dipper Pines. That's me!" Mabel's voice says, "This remix is dedicated to my brother. Dipper, your voice is one of a kind." Hope's voice says, "You're not going to be young forever. Enjoy your voice while it lasts." Soos' voice says, "Dude, I've never heard anything like it. R-r-remix over!" Soos makes an explosion noise. McGucket says while holding a vial with orange liquid, "Are you ready for your new voice? This one should be permanent!" He the gives Dipper the new potion. Dipper looks back and forth between the vial and the tape; then holds the vial up to his mouth about to drink it.

Back at the Shack, Hope, Razorwind, Mabel and Soos are watching T.V. when Dipper enters and clears his throat. He takes a deep breath then says, in his normal cracky voice, "Hey guys." Mabel yells, "Dipper!" Soos yells, "Oh dude, you're back!" They all hug DIpper as Soos laughs and Hope and Razorwind chirp in excitement. Dipper says, "Yeah. I guess I realized that even though my voice may not be perfect, it's still mine, and I wouldn't change it for anything, not even for whatever was in this new vial." Hope asks, "Where did you even get that vial from?" Dipper replies, "McGucket." Hope nods and says, "That makes sense." Mabel asks, "So, what did you do with the rest of that potion?" Dipper says, "I dumped it in Stan's coffee." Stan walks in and asks, in a female voice, "Have any of you kids seen mah girdle? Where mah girdle at?" Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos laugh as Stan says, "What? What's so funny? I'm Grunkle Stay-an! Kids laughing. Laughing at their grunkle."

* * *

Back to real time, Mabel says, "I spy with my little eye something that is...Black!" Soos says, "Ooh ooh! Everything!" Mabel says, "Yay for Soos!" She claps as Soos says, "Yay for Soos!" Mabel asks, "Hey guys, who wants to pass the time by spinning? Everyone spin!" Dipper replies, "No." Mabel spins Dipper and yells, "Yaay!" Dipper yells, "Woooah!" Soos chuckles as Mabel, now running on top of Dipper yells, "Weeee!" Dipper says, "Ow, ow, ow, ow." Hope says, "Mabel, stop running on your brother." Stan says, "Dipper's pain is funny, but I'm starting to get bored. Soos, tell a story." Soos asks, "Really? Okay." Dipper screams as he spins and floats at background as Hope tries to catch up with him and Soos says, "This story is called "Soos' really good Pinball story. Is that a good title? Does it have to be a pun or whatever?""

* * *

Hope, Soos, Dipper, and Mabel in the pinball room. Soos is playing pinball as Hope, Dipper and Mabel are watching while they yell, "Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!" Soos says, "This is it, dudes. After 4 long years of trying, I might finally get the high score on Stan's creepy old pinball machine. If I do this, I'll go down in pinball history, with the likes of Sal, Gaff, and of course, Poo." Dipper asks, "Have you ever tried maybe tilting the machine?" Soos replies, "I don't know, dudes, isn't breaking the rules like, against the rules?" Hope says, "Pinball actually doesn't have any rules. As long as you don't tilt too much, you'll be alright." Mabel yells, "Also, nuts to the rules! Tilt! Tilt! Tilt!" Soos loses and the skill in the Pinball Machine says, "Failure! You stink!" Soos says, "All right, that's it! Are you ready, Hope and kids?" Hope, Mabel and Dipper tilt the machine while saying, "Tilt! Tilt! Tilt! Tilt!" The Pinball Machine yells, "Quit tiltin', partner. Quit tiltin'!" Soos yells "Tilt!" He tilts the ball into the goal. The Pinball Machine says, "Bulls-eye! New high score!" Hope, Mabel, Dipper, and Soos cheer and Soos says, "This is the best moment of my life. This totally beats my old best moment."

* * *

Flashback to Soos pressing the eject button on a VHS player and a piece of pizza comes out. Soos picks up the pizza and prepares to eat it.

* * *

Back in the present, The Pinball Machine says, "That ain't right. You cheated." Mabel replies, "Oh, yeah. What are you gonna do about it? You're just a Pinball game, Pinball game. Taunt, taunt." Dipper says, "Uh, guys, there's an awful lot of green lightning coming out of that game." Soos replies, "No, that's the normal amount of green lightning." Hope yells, "Green lightning isn't supposed to come out of the game at all!" Lightning strikes them as they scream.

Soos is lying down and hitting a buzzer as he says, "Uh, 5 more minutes." He gets up and says, "Ah! That's not a normal alarm clock." He is now wearing a cowboy hat, a poncho, a yellow shirt, black pants, and western boots.. Dipper runs up with Mabel and Hope; who are also wearing old west themed clothes. Dipper is wearing a cowboy hat, a western jacket, and boots. Hope has on a deerskin cloak and a feathered headdress. Mabel is wearing a simple blue dress and has a headband with a feather on it. Dipper yells, "Soos! We're inside the game!" The four look at their environment as Dipper says, "Crazy!" while Mabel says, "Sweet Moses!" and Soos says, "Hushed exclamation of wonder!" They watch a pinball go around it's track and run after it. Dipper yells, "Awesome!" while Mabel jumping around on the buzzers and yells, "Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing!" She then laughs. Hope looks worried as she says, "Remember guys, we're in a pinball game. We have to be careful here!" Soos yells, "Dude, if this is a dream, I never want to wake up!" The Pinball Machine: says, "That can be arranged." Everyone gathers up and the machine says, "Welcome to Tumbleweed Terror, partners." The game lights up and Soos says, "Hey, it's the skeleton cowboy guy. Did you zap me into your game to congratulate me on getting my new score? I beat Poo, dude!" Pinball Machine replies, "Pardon, and if'n I do recall, I did warned y'all not to cheat. I tried to be gentleman-like, but I'm plum sick of being tilted. So, now I reckon, I'm gonna tilt you." Soos yells, "Well, well take this!" He nits a button but hits himself in the eye. He then yells, "Ow! And this!" He punches himself again and yells, "Ow! It hurts. I wish this was working better. And this! Aw, dude!" He knocks himself out as Hope, Mabel and Dipper yell, "Soos!" The Pinball Machine laughs and says, "Get yourselves ready for the…" They all say Multi-Ball, Hope first, then Dipper, then Soos, then Mabel. The Pinball Machine laughs as the others scream and run away from the balls. Dipper yells, "Over there!" Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos run behind a wall, narrowly avoiding a pinball, except for Hope, who screams out in pain as she holds her left wing, which is now broken. The Pinball Machine asks, "Where are you? I'm not done teaching you a lesson about cheating yet." Dipper asks, "How are we gonna get out of here? Think, guys." Hope asks, "Soos, can you think of any way to turn off this thing?" Soos replies, "I'm trying. But it's hard with that gorgeous pinball wench distracting me." He waves at a cutout of a woman and says, "Okay. Don't worry, guys, I know every inch of this machine. There's a manual power switch inside. I can sneak in there and turn off the game. But we'll have to distract the cowboy guy. Are any of you good at jumping up and down and making annoying noises?" Mabel says with her hair blowing in wind, "My time has come." Dipper says, "Alright, let's go, Soos. Soos?" Soos asks the pinball wench, "So are you, like, doing anything later?" Dipper slaps the wench and Soos says, "Oh, right."

The Pinball Machine says, "Come on out and show yourselves, varmints." Mabel jumps up on a buzzer and yells, "Hey! Hey! Hey! Look at me and listen to what I'm doing! BUZZZZZZ!" The Pinball Machine says, "Something ain't right here." Hope yells, "Over here skull head!" while Mabel yells, "DISTRACTION! DISTRACTION! LA! LA! LA! LA! LA!" and Dipper sings and tries to dance. The Pinball Machine says, "Let me see where this is going." Soos gets in a cart, rolls down behind the pinball machine. Pinball Machine laughs and asks, "Yippy ti yi what? Where are ya?" He tries to turn and says, "Darnit, I wish I had a neck." Hope unscrews a wrench and Dipper says, "Soos, pssssst. What's going on? Just press the switch already!" Soos says, "Okay, so I was gonna do that, but I've been thinking." He points to a sign that says, "Warning. Turning off power will erase all data" He then says, "According to this, turning off the power erases the high score permanently. That score is like my one big life accomplishment." Dipper says, "What? If you don't hurry up, we could die in here!" Soos asks, "Fair point. But, what is life anyway when compared to the immortality of a high score?" Hope replies, "Numbers go on for infinity Soos! High scores are made to be broken!" Dipper says, "Soos, are you out of your-!" The Pinball Machine says, "There y'all are." The wall they are behind falls down and the machine says, "Get ready to meet your maker, kids. My maker is Ballway Games in Redmond, Washington." He inhales making Hope, Dipper and Mabel gravitate toward the cowboy skull as they yell, "Woooooaah!" Dipper yells, "Soos!" Mabel yells, "Soos, please!" Dipper also yells, "Turn it off!" Hope asks, "What's more important, Soos? A set of numbers that can easily be beat, or your friends who can never be replaced?" Soos says, "Uhhh Uhh." As Hope and the twins are getting sucked in, Soos says, "Goodbye, high score." He pushes the button and the pinball game turns off. He, Hope and the twins wake up outside of the game. Soos yells, "Woah! You dudes okay?" Mabel says, "Yes! You did it! You freed us!" Hope replies, "You did the right thing, Soos." Dipper says, "Hey man, I'm sorry you had to lose your high score." Soos replies, "That's okay. I've got a new life accomplishment now. Saving you dudes." Hope, Dipper and Mabel say, "Awwwww." Soos asks, "You think that pinball wench will call me?' Hope replies, "Not a chance."

* * *

Back in the present, Stan says, "I can't believe this nonsense. Magic tonics? Soos winning at something? Where did you come up with this stuff?" Hope replies, "It's called life. Not like you can do any better." Stan says, "Wanna bet? I'll tell you a good story. It's called "Grunkle Stan wins the football bowl"." Hope groans at this.

* * *

In a football stadium, Stan makes a touchdown and dances. A random football player says, "Mr. Pines, I thought that old folks were useless, but you taught me and my gloating friends a lesson." The football players clap as a beautiful woman arrivines in a gigantic trophy being pushed by a random guy and says, "Here is your football winning trophy, Mr. Pines." Stan says, "Thanks, beautiful woman. But I couldn't have done it without my sidekick, Footbot." The Footbot replies, "Thank you for building me, Daddy!" Stan, Footbot and the football players laugh as airplanes fly above them and Footbot says, "I love you, Stan."

* * *

Back in the present, Hope, Soos, Dipper, and Mabel yell, "Boooooo!" Mabel says, "That story was dumb!" Dipper says, "Come on! Ridiculous!" Hope says, "That never happened!" Soos says, "Lame!" Stan replies, "What? That story was great! I even threw in a talking robot for the kids." Mabel says, "Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna tell a non-terrible story. A story called "Trooth Ache!""

* * *

Hope, Dipper, Mabel, and Stan are in the driveway while Manly Dan ties up a bear as Stan says, "This attraction is gonna make me a fortune. Easy with that bear, Corduroy! I need him in showroom condition." The bear roars and Manly Dan yells, "No, Noo!" He then wrestles the bear. Mabel says, "Aaaaawww. They're hugging." Hope says to Stan, "This better not be a dangerous stunt I'm involved in." Dipper asks, "So, let me get this straight. Your plan is to teach this bear to ride a bicycle?" Stan replies, "No. Come on, everyone's seen a bicycle-riding bear. No, no. I'm gonna teach this bear...to drive!" Stan's car is driving crazily on the road. The bear is driving, Stan is in the passenger seat, and Hope, Dipper and Mabel are in the back seat gripping onto the seats for dear life. Stan tells the bear, "And the yellow light means speed up." He hears cops' siren noise and says, "Uh oh." Blubs and Durland stop Stan's car and he asks, "What seems to be the problem, officers?" The bear roars and chews his seatbelt as Blubs says, "There better be a darn good explanation for this." Stan replies, "Oh, there is. You see, I'm a very old man. Not long for this Earth. And the doctors assigned me a seeing eye bear to drive me to the hospital in case of an emergency." Mabel looks confused at this and Blubs asks, "Is that right? Then, where is your doctor's note?" Stan says, "Why, it's right here, inside my jacket." He writes a note inside his jacket quickly and says, "There you go." He gives them the note, which says, "Stan is sick and needs a bear. -Dr. Medicine" Blubs says, "Well, I can't argue with Dr. Medicine." Stan says, "To the hospital, honeypants!" The bear roars and drives away.

Later at the Mystery Shack, the bear is digging through the trash while Stan is painting rocks under a sign titled "Real Gold Nuggets!" Mabel walks up to him and asks, "Grunkle Stan, how could you lie to those policemen? Don't you know lying is always wrong?" Stan replies, "Mabel, when you get to be my age, you'll learn that you sometimes have to bend the truth for the greater good." He eats spaghetti as Dipper comes in and asks, "Hey, have any of you seen my plate of spaghetti?" Stan slurps us the spaghetti and hides it behind him while turning around to Dipper and says, "No...But I bet Soos has. You know how he likes to eat." Dipper says, "This is a dark day. Thanks, Grunkle Stan." He runs off and Stan says, "See? Greater good." Mabel groans. Mabel is now lying on her bed with Waddles. Mabel asks, "Waddles, what am I gonna do about Grunkle Stan?" She replies, as Waddles, "He needs to stop lying." She says in her regular voice, "I know, but how do we stop him?" Hope walks in and says, "Hey Mabel, I need to borrow the journal for-" Mabel interrupts her, "Hope, that's it!" Hope asks, "What's it?" Mabel asks, "Is there anything about a truth device in there?" Hope asks, "Why do you wanna know?" Mabel replies, "I need something to get Stan to stop lying." Hope sighs and says, "You know messing with the forces of Gravity Falls isn't a good thing to do, but seeing as you're gonna do it anyway, there is one thing." She opens the journal and reads aloud, "Buried 'neath a trees stump in the deep forest are truth teeth, which forces upon the wearer the inability to lie. But beware, as there are some truths, you will find, you never wanted to hear." She closes the journal, and leaves with it after saying, "Be careful Mabel." Mabel hmmms to herself. Stan is sleeping at night as Mabel puts the truth teeth in his mouth. The teeth glow for a second before mabel wakes Stan up. Stan asks, "What? What's going on? What? Mabel?" Mabel asks, "Quick question. What happened to Dipper's spaghetti plate?" Stan replies, "I ate it because I have little to no concern about other people's possessions or emotions." He realizes what he just said and says, "Huh, that was strangely candid. Almost as if I'm unable to lie. Well, good night." He goes to sleep.

Later that morning, Mabel is whispering in Dipper's ear. Dipper asks, "You what? That seems like a horrible idea!" Hope, already knowing what Mabel did, says, "I warned her about it." Mabel replies, "It's great! Now he has to tell the truth." Dipper hmmms as Stan puts the pan down in front of them and says, "Scrambled meat, here it is." Dipper asks, "Stan, what do you do in secret everyday during your lunch break?" Stan replies, "Usually, I spend the hour aggressively scratching myself in places I shouldn't mention. Now I'm going to avoid making eye contact by pretending to read this newspaper and going to the bathroom without washing my hands." He leaves as Hope, Dipper and Mabel say, "Eeeewwww!" Dipper says, "Well, that was disturbing." Mabel replies, "Don't worry, Dipper. The truth is always a good thing." Hope adds, "But too much of it is bad." Stan is in the gift shop counting money as an unnamed man asks him, "Hey, excuse me. Do you think this t-shirt is my size?" Stan replies, "Never mind the t-shirt! Hey everyone, look at this guy's abnormal and unattractive face!" Mabel leads the man away and says, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." Later, Stan is doing taxes while saying, "Doing my taxes." Dipper looks at one of the papers, which has "I HAVE COMMITTED TAX FRAUD" on it and asks, "Uh, Grunkle Stan, why did you write this?" Stan replies, "Because I regularly commit massive tax fraud." Dipper says, "Might wanna...tuck that one away there." He then shreds the paper. Hope, Dipper, Mabel and Stan are watching TV, where a man on a unicycle is juggling while three alligators or crocodiles are surrounding him. Hope, Dipper and Mabel laugh and Stan asks, "Sometimes, I think. Is this all there is? Is life just some kind of horrific joke without a punchline? That we're all just biding our time until the sweet, sweet, release of death?" Mabel rocks back and forth while Hope taps her front wolf paw while looking around the room in anxiety and Dipper shivers.

Later, Stan eats some chips and scratches himself and yells up to Hope, Dipper and Mabel, who are in their room, covering their ears, "Hope, kids, I think I have a growth forming on my back. Just wanted to be honest with you guys." Dipper takes the pillow off his head and says, "I can't take it anymore, Mabel! We need to take those teeth out of his mouth." Mabel takes off her fluffy pink headphones and replies, "But then he'll be a liar again." Hope removes her paws and claws from her ears and asks, "Could it possibly be any worse than this?" The doorbell rings. Hope, Dipper and Mabel run downstairs, where Stan is standing in the doorway with Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland. Blubs says, "So, after further investigation, it turns out that there is no Dr. Medicine in Gravity Falls." Durland adds, "You better have a darn good explanation for this." Stan replies, "Oh and I do. You see, I lied to you. In addition I've been parking in handicapped spaces, shoplifting fireworks, and smuggling endangered animals across multiple state lines. Also, you're fat." Blubs drops his coffee, takes out handcuffs and asks, "Is all of this true?" Hope says, "No way! Absolutely not!" Dipper adds, "No! No, it's not true. Right, Mabel?" Mabel says, "Uh, sirs, I have to be completely and totally honest with you. Our Great Uncle Stan is...is...Stan is...secretly a crime fiction writer!" Blubs asks, "What?" Mabel laughs and says, "Yeah. He was just telling you about a character in his upcoming page turner, Crime Grandpa! He's never committed a crime in his life. Also, have you lost weight?" Blubs giggles and says, "Finally! Someone noticed." Durland asks, "Wow, an author! Can you teach me how to read?" Stan asks, "What? Author?" Mabel laughs and says, "Writer, master of fiction. Good night, officers." She closes the door and sighs. Dipper asks, "Hey, you alright?" Mabel replies, "I can't believe I lied." Hope says, "Mabel, it was for the greater good." Mabel says, "Yeah, the greater good." Stan says on the phone, "Hello? Police station? Yeah, I forgot to tell him about my tax fraud. No, tax fraud." Hope, Dipper and Mabel tackle him and Stan asks, "What's gotten into you kids?" Mabel pulls out the teeth and says, "We have to find a place to get rid of these!" Mabel put the teeth in a box, the same one she later throws into the pit.

* * *

In the present, she says, "And I never saw that box full of magical teeth again." She sees the box next to Stan and says, "Oh wait, there it is." Hope, Soos, Dipper, and Stan sigh. Soos sees his shoes and says, "Oh, sweet! My shoes!" He puts his shoes back on. Stan says, "I like the part with the bear. The rest of it seems pretty far-fetched." Dipper says, "Mabel, we already know that story! We just lived through it." Hope replies, "At least it passed the time." Soos asks, "So, if we're living through that story right now, then how does it end?" Dipper asks, "Guys, do you see that? They are approaching some light." Soos asks, "Oh, what is that?" Dipper yells, "On no!" Mabel asks, "Where are we going?" Stan yells, "Doesn't look good!" Hope yells, "Brace yourselves!" They all scream as they fall out of the pit and onto the spot they fell from.

Stan asks, "Where...where are we?" Mabel gasps and says, "Look! The Shack! Which means...we came right back out the top." Dipper adds, "And I don't think any time has passed. It must be some kind of wormhole." Soos says, "Yeah, dude. That sounds science-y enough to be true." Hope says, "I thought those only formed in space, yet we found one inside the Earth." Stan adds, "But-But that's impossible. No one will believe us." Mabel says, "Maybe this is one story we should keep to ourselves." Everyone else says, "Agreed." Stan leans on the sign, which breaks, and he falls into the hole. Mabel says, "He'll be fine." Stan, falling in silence down the hole, sighs and says, "This is stupid." The code this time is 14-5-24-20 21-16 "6-15-15-20-2-15-20 20-23-15: 7-18-21-14-11-12-5 '19 7-18-5-22-5-14-7-5" It can be solved using the A1Z26 Cipher.


End file.
